Love and Forget: These Loving Memories
by Concubine99
Summary: Pairings: TMHP;SBRL;LMSS;BZDM;RWHG; Warning: Mpreg,-Other Warnings inside-. Harry's memories are gone but he's gained an imaginary life, three friends who have their own drama and a lover- a Tom who's known by the world as the Dark Lord Voldemort.
1. White

**-Love and Forget: These Loving Memories-  
****By: Concubine99**

**Disclaimer:**I do not own Harry Potter or its context.

**Warning(s):** Slash, Amnesia, Sexual Context, Angst, Mpreg, Language, Underage -Harry's sixteen-f

**Main Paring: **Tom Riddle (Voldemort)/Harry Potter; minor pairings later on.

**Summary: **"Pott- Harry…have you truly forgotten who you are?" "I have…but Tom told me…I'm his love…that's what he says…I'm his only love. And I believe him…I feel he is someone very important to me…". Harry has forgotten, Voldemort has taken advantage and…falls in love…It wasn't supposed to be like this!

**Note:** Well, this is my first attempt at this pairing so please bear with me and be nice!! I think this is going to be a somewhat long story, maybe in the twenties when it concerns chapters. Like always, I promise to finish it (like my other stories) although I'm the worst at updating, a chapter per months sometimes. I promise it'll get more frequent once summer vacation comes around.

Also, I don't want ANY flames! You got it? Geez, keep your opinion to yourself because all you will be doing is wasting your time and mines. P

Also! Remember to review; they are often my motivation for updating!

Onward with the first!

* * *

**Chapter One-  
****White  
**_Like the sun, like forgetfulness_

"We're going out."

"Have fun."

"We'll be back tonight…seven at the latest."

"Alrighty then…"

"You touch the stove-"

"You'll throttle me, got it."

"Don't go outside,"

"Because the neighbors don't know that your delinquent of a nephew has returned yet."

"I'm warning you! Any funny business and-"

"I'll die a painful death, yeah, yeah. I know. I'm not planning on riding my broom around the neighborhood or changing the sky green if that's what you're worried about."

Uncle Venom kept his glare directed towards his scrawny nephew, his hands twitching with the urge to hit the boy over the head. He suppressed it however, remembering that…that _wizard's_ warning. He let a noise resembling a growl leave his mouth before he turned and began the journey downstairs.

Harry heard his uncle's loud voice echo downstairs as he called his aunt and cousin to hurry it up. It wasn't long before the force of the door slamming shook the house.

"Well…they're off…" Harry mumbled as he glanced towards Hedwig. He received a hoot before the white owl closed its eyes and soon drifted off to sleep.

A sigh rattled his chest as he stood up from his small chair and walked down stairs.

He soon wished he hadn't.

* * *

"How the hell do I get myself into these situations?" He mumbled to himself as a curse barely missed him and instead, hit the kitchen door.

"Itty bitty baby Potter…come out, come out!" rang that horrible voice. He felt that same hatred from the Ministry bubble within him and it took everything he had not to jump from behind the wall and rush towards the bloody witch and…

Breathe…breathe…

It wouldn't do to kill her…he would be just like _him_…

"Ohh…I know where you are…" he heard her cackle with glee and heard the approaching footsteps. He cringed…Damn it…

He raised his wand hand and hissed as unexplainable pain shot from his shoulder to the very tip of his fingers. He knew something in that arm was broken and with shaking fingers, he grasped his wand with his other hand.

He had always preferred using his right-hand although he did on rare occasions find himself using his left a bit awkwardly but ever since he had visited Ollivander's for the first time, he had always used his right hand for his wand.

He wondered vaguely what would happen if he were to use his left.

'_Well, I don't have much of a choice…"_

He did not know how it occurred. He had walked downstairs after his family (he snorted at that one) had left to God knows where. He was hungry for he had skipped breakfast and had decided he was going to make something for late lunch.

And then, just as he was making a rather nice sandwich with ham and turkey and lettuce (because he absolutely hated tomato) and some butter on each slice of bread, the front door was blasted open.

Thank Merlin he had his wand with him, and he had hid behind the wall but not before the evil bitch saw him run past her.

She had yelled a spell that hit the stove and it blew it in a most comically way and he would have laughed if pain had not engulfed his right arm. It seemed he had not escaped the blast fully for his right arm was not only bleeding and somewhat burned, but he was sure- because of past experience- that a bone was broken somewhere in there.

He had stood up and walked towards the door that led to the dining room but at the last minute decided against it and turned left, walking towards the small opening that led to the closet.

He had slid down to the floor against the closet door and hissed as another jolt of pain shot through him.

He had been there for only a minute when he decided to see if the witch was now in the kitchen. He pulled back as he caught a glimpse of black robes and it had been then that the curse hit the kitchen door.

Bellatrix knew where he was and the only way to get out was either past Bellatrix and through the opening that led to the front door or through the kitchen door that led to the dining room, and rush out of the dining room, enter the living room and leave out of the living room before entering the hallway that would lead to the front door and risk Bellatrix seeing him as he past the opening to the kitchen.

Damnit! Who the hell came out with the structure of this bloody building?!

Shaking his head, he drew in a long breath before he exhaled quickly and with one sudden movement, he sprang to his feet and left his hiding place, facing the demented witch.

He raised his wand just as she did and shouted the first spell to come to him, "_Obliviate_!"

He had never practiced that spell although he had learned about it and had heard many wizards and witches talk about it but for the life of him, he could not understand why he used that spell.

His spell did not hit the Death Eater directly, but instead clashed with her spell.

The last thing he realized was that her spell was a bright color…red or yellow…he couldn't remember.

* * *

Oh! Wouldn't her Lord by most pleased with her! She had found his whereabouts. Truly…the Order were getting sloppy if they let just anyone enter their mist, especially one prone to talk with just a minute under the Crucrutis cruse.

She cackled in glee as she sensed how close, how so very close she was! Her Lord would be most pleased with her! Most pleased!

The boy had nowhere to go or run and that Order –for she had sensed the wards- would be too late, they (and she meant herself and the little brat) would be gone! Towards her Master's manor!

She did not expect him to step out of his hiding but what could she expect from a Gryffindor? Those stupid, stupid, _**stupid**_ Gryffindors!

She raised her wand the moment he did and let out the worst spell she could think of that wasn't the Killing Curse and was mildly surprised when she heard faintly, "_Oblivate_!"

So the itty bitty baby Potter knew advanced spells…she grinned as she watched her curse overpower his and engulf him in a strange orange light.

She felt giddy inside. What if he was dead! Her Master would not like that at all! No, no, no! She would be punished.

She walked towards the unconscious boy, her wand still trained to him and cautiously, she kneeled next to the boy and placed two clammy fingers at the pulse on his neck.

"Alive, little baby Potter? Alive! You must stay alive! My Lord is the only one that can kill you!" She stood up and with a quick flick of her wrist and a mumbled spell, the boy was floating next to her. She touched his burned arm and with manic grin, they disappeared.

The Order appeared not even a minute later.

* * *

He was not annoyed, he was _furious_.

They were testing his patience. Severus had arrived a minute late, stating that Dumbledore was reluctant to let him go. He had to keep his cover and had persuaded the old fool to let him come.

For some reason, he was beginning to lose faith in Severus Snape. He might just be a traitor.

He had given the task of finding the Potter boy to his Death Eaters and they have all come out empty handed! A month and they have yet to find anything! Where they so incompetent?

And then there's the fact that they had yet to- no…he would forgive them this…it was after all a hard task…he would give them more time…just a little more time…

And of course there was the fact that Lucius had dared to defy him! His son was supposed to be here! But **no**! He was with his mother, in Spain… How dare they! Did he not say he wanted to speak with the boy? Had he not made himself clear? He wanted that boy here! Not in bloody Spain!

How dare they! He glared angrily at the shaking man who lay ungracefully on the cold stone floor and was tempted to continue his torture but managed to control himself.

He couldn't have one of his most elite Death Eaters an insane, useless, mass of meat.

"Get up Lucius and go back to your position! I expect him here tomorrow," he said, his anger covering his words.

"Ye-yes My Lord. Of course," the proud Malfoy Head said as he stood up and cringed as pain jolted through his bones. His muscles ached horribly but he managed to get back to his position in almost record time. He did not want to anger his Lord any further.

"Where is Bella?" Voldemort asked as he looked at his Death Eaters.

"She-she is not present, My Lord…" Nott said with hesitation. He did not want those eyes upon him.

But it seemed like Fate hated him for those scarlet eyes landed on him and they narrowed. A sneer twisted their Lord's face, "Do you think me stupid, Nott? I can see she is not here! I asked where she was, you fool!"

They flinched as his voice rang throughout the large room and felt a shudder of dread run through them.

But they were saved as the door to the large room was opened and entered Bellatrix with a figure floating behind her.

"My Lord! My Lord! I have found him and brought him here!"

Voldemort had brought his wand and directed towards the manic witch, a curse on his lips but her statement cooled his anger. If only a little.

"Who?" he asked and his eyes landed on the floating figure. His eyes widen slightly, barely noticeably, when they caught sight of the Boy-Who-Lived.

"Is that-"

"Yes! It's the Potter boy!" Bellatrix said with glee.

He scowled at the witch, "May I finish my sentence, Bellatrix?"

"Of course My Lord. I apologize!"

Voldemort glanced towards the boy, "Is he dead?"

"No, I would never take his life when you have claimed it My Lord! Never! Never!"

"I heard you fine the first time, Bella," Voldemort mumbled, feeling a headache coming on. God, sometimes this witch more annoying then useful.

"Is this why you ignored my summoning?"

"Yes, Master. I thought- I thought that this would please you!"

"It does," Voldemort said slowly, "You will be rewarded…but first-" he said, already feeling Bellatrix outburst, "Take him to my room."

"What?! But My Lord wouldn't the dung-"

"Are you questioning me?" He said as he titled his head, his red eyes now on the boy, "Take him to my room. Is his wand with him?"

"…Yes…he did not let go of it…"

"Fine. Give it to me."

"But My Lord-"

"Bellatrix! You tire my patience and at the moment I have barely a hair's width."

"I-I apologize, My Lord," Bellatrix said as she bowed towards her Lord. She walked towards the boy and without any grace or care, she grabbed the wand from Harry's cold, clammy hand and jerked it out of his grasp.

She walked briskly towards her Lord and handed him the wand, "His wand…" she mumbled with a dark scowl as she tried to figure out why her Lord would want the brat in his room.

"Go Bella. I tire of you…" he hissed as he glared heatedly at the witch, "Place him on my bed and make sure you lock the door before you leave. We wouldn't want him wondering the manor do we?"

"No, My Lord. Of course not."

"Good."

She walked down the small pedestal and with another flick of her wrist, the limp figure of Harry Potter followed her out of the room.

She still did not understand! Her Lord should have been pleased with her yet he seemed more angry than anything!

She continued down the gloomy hallway still contemplating. Somehow she knew it was all the brat's fault.

* * *

"How is it that one of my Death Eaters solely and without any aid has accomplished what all of you combined could not?" he asked silkily, as he leaned against his throne-like chair, his eyes staring ahead, not even glancing at any of his Death Eaters.

He twirled his wand between his fingers, Potter's lying innocently on his lap.

They did not know if his question was rhetorical or not and they all, as a group silently agreed not to answer.

"All of you are useless…" Voldemort hissed, "Lucius!" the man jumped almost unnoticeably.

"I better see that boy here tomorrow…do you understand me?"

"Yes, of course."

"Severus…" the Potion Master titled his head in recognition.

"You will return here once it is night. I want to hear what Dumbledore is planning," the Dark Lord said with a twisted smile.

"As you order," Severus mumbled as he bowed his head in a sign of submission.

"Dismissed! I can't stand the sight of you all any longer!"

Almost as one, they all apparated, all more than relieved to leave Voldemort's presence. He had not been so furious in a long while and they knew by now how their Lord was when he was in a foul mood.

It was not a pleasant experience.

* * *

It was dark and…warm.

He became conscious of this first and then became conscious that he was terribly scared.

For a moment, he could not remember why it was so dark but then he did…he opened his eyes.

His vision was blurry for reasons unknown to him but then he noticed something on his face and when he pushed it down, the room came into focus.

They were glasses.

He blinked repeatedly until he became accustomed to the glasses and when he did, he glanced towards the side and there stood a man who was…familiar.

He was tall…almost towering in height. He had a face that although quite human reminded him of a snake. It was a long and white face with slanted scarlet eyes with pupils that were vertical and slightly curved, like a snake's. His nose was nothing special, normal but for some reason he got the impression that it had once been something else…

His lips…they were thin and…cunning. He blinked at that description. His hair reached his shoulders, black, nice tresses that held not one white hair.

He was…perhaps handsome but he was indeed striking. A face one would not forget easily.

Those lips curved almost distastefully, "Potter," the man hissed.

He blinked. Was that his name? He vaguely hoped it was his last name…

"Uh…hello…Is that my name?"

"What do you mean if that's your name, you foolish boy?"

He flinched at the harsh tone, "Please sir…I- I who are you?"

"You do not remember me?" the man seemed surprised and it was then that he noticed the stick- the wand directed towards him.

"Should I, sir?" he asked nervously as he looked at the wand in the other's hand. The man almost hesitantly walked towards him and the tip of the wand rested against his forehead. Pain engulfed him and his mind went blank. He jerked away from the wand and almost immediately, the pain left him.

"Why…" he mumbled as he leaned back against what he then realized was a bed.

"Hmmm…you really don't remember…" the man said slowly as he finally lowered his wand. His red eyes held a calculating look and slowly, a smile curved his lips. It was not necessarily a nice smile.

"You…my boy…are Harry, just Harry…"

"Harry…" he mumbled slowly. The name was familiar enough.

"Yes, Harry," he said as he sat down next to the boy.

"Who are- who are you?"

"Me? I am Lord Voldemort…" he mumbled, all the while observing the boy's reaction. The boy merely titled his head in a manner that reminded the tall wizard of a kitten.

"Voldemort…? Really?"

"Hmm…That is my…title. My real name is Tom Marvolo Riddle…" he said, still watching for any signs that the boy might remember anything, "Although I hate that name…"

"Oh…so what do I call you?"

"You? Well…you call me…Tom although I do not like it one bit."

"Really? Then why do I call you it?"

"Because.." well what could he say? "Because I let you."

"Why would you do something like that?"

He scowled. Now really…must he ask so many questions? And then an idea struck.

He had originally been thinking of merely killing the boy without telling him anything important but oh…what was the fun in that?

And it would be such a waste!

Taking the boy right under the Order's nose was like stabbing them; why not twist the knife a little?

"Why do I let you? Because…because you are my only love. The only one in this world that I love in any shape or form."

* * *

Well? What do you guys think? You think it has promise or….??

Just so you know, Dumbledore and the rest of the Order will not become evil/dark…no. They will continue to love Harry and what not.

Ohhhh…this is going to be fun! -grin-

**Next Chapter**: _What Voldemort's reaction is after the situations sinks in; The Order finds out Harry is with Voldemort and a little of Harry's thoughts. It will mostly be in Voldemort's point of view although not in 1__st__ person. It'll be like this chapter which was mostly in Harry's point of view._

**I** **need ten reviews** before I update. -shrug- I need to see that people are actually interested in this story.

P.S. Like always, I'll gladly appreciate if you guys point out any grammar or spelling errors! I have no beta!


	2. Black

**-Love and Forget: These Loving Memories-  
By: Concubine99**

**Disclaimer:**I do not own Harry Potter or its context.

**Warning(s):** Slash, Amnesia, Sexual Context, Angst, Mpreg, Language, Underage -Harry's sixteen-

**Main Paring: **Tom Riddle (Voldemort)/Harry Potter;

**Minor Pairings**: hmmmm... Sirius/Remus (not completely decided yet), other Slash and het pairings.

**Summary: **Harry has forgotten, Voldemort has taken advantage…and falls in love…It wasn't supposed to be like this! He, Lord Voldemort, was not suppose to fall in love with Harry...

**Note:** awww, I'm so happy! It actually didn't take long for me to reach the minimum ten reviews.

* * *

**Chapter Two-  
****Black  
**_Like his lies, like our once hatred_

"_Why do I let you? Because…because you are my only love. The only one in this world that I love in any shape or form."_

The boy stared at him, his mouth slightly open and his green eyes large and round. He was vaguely reminded of a fish without air.

"Really now, have you forgotten your manners as well, Harry?" he asked and was mildly surprised just how much enjoyment that one comment gave him.

The boy snapped out of his daze. "I'm your what?" he choked out in complete and utter shock.

"Do you not remember anything, Harry?" he asked softly, his gaze drilling and holding the younger wizard's.

"I- no…I-what-I don't remember anything!" Harry exclaimed as he fidgeted in place, his hands worrying the hemming of his shirt. His small frame shook all the while his eyes roamed around the room before they were shut tightly. "I don't remember anything!" he repeated, his hands were brought up to his hands as he shook his head. "I don't remember anything!"

"Po- Harry! Calm down," he exclaimed as he grasped the boy's arms. "Calm down before you hurt yourself…" Like he really cared.

"Why can't I remember?" Harry asked as he stared up at his suppose lover.

He stared down at the smaller wizard evenly, all the while contemplating on what to say.

He suppressed a smirk as he began his lies. They came out in a soft, trustful tone that showed just how charming and devious he could truly be. They were dark and twisted, covered in warm sugar.

"You must understand Harry, I have many enemies. When you were eleven, a wizard entered your home with the intent to kill your whole family. I arrived in time to save you…only you. I brought you here, to this manor where I took care of you. But like I said previously, my little kitten" and Voldemort noticed almost gleefully that the boy blushed at the usually endearing term, "I have many enemies for my…occupation is not…agreed with by the general population-"

"But you saved me! You must be a nice person," Harry reasoned, his eyes searching and his lips tugged into a small frown.

"Many would not agree with that statement, my beloved," he mumbled as his eyes shined with a certain emotion that sent a shiver down Harry's spine. Oh, how easily it was to fool this boy!

"Because all I have ever wanted was to protect you, I kept you within this manor and only let you leave if I was to accompany you for I did not trust anyone, not even my followers or servants with your protection. But _**they**_ took you away from me, somehow they managed to take you away from me," he said in such a mournful tone that even he was surprised. Harry looked at him with such innocent, believing eyes and it took a good amount of his self control to suppress the twisted smile.

"You were gone…I was without you for only a week although it seemed like a century. I raided the house they were keeping you, they were going to use you so as to blackmail me, as a cheap bargaining chip! I managed to save you but you were…you were hit with a spell," his voice suddenly took a cold edge that surprised Harry, "I had told you to duck, to stay out of sight, Harry! Why did you get in the way of that curse?" He shook the boy in an almost desperate manner and something clicked in Harry's head.

"Was that why you were so…so cold a while ago when I woke up? Because you were mad at me…about me jumping in front of the spell?" Harry asked, his voice small and his eyes searching.

Voldemort stared at the boy surprised, taken back by the question. "Yes!" he said in an almost too desperate manner and he frowned. That one remark had not sounded the least bit believable. His eyes grew serious and were calm as they stared into emerald green, "Yes," he repeated softer than before.

Harry smiled; a small, slow smile but a brilliant one nonetheless and Voldemort cackled inside, knowing that the boy, this nuisance of a boy was believing him!

"I brought you back here where I had one of my followers scan you for any injuries. He said you were fine but obviously he was mistaken…"

"…How- how did we become lovers?" Harry asked as he avoided making eye contact, all the while a deep red coloring his cheeks.

"You're sixteen Harry…your birthday is at the end of July. We become lovers last year…a couple days after your birthday although we have done nothing…advantageous. You are not yet ready."

Really…was this boy so gullible? Did he have no doubt, no suspicion? None at all?

The blush seemed to deepen, "Oh…but...uhh how did we become lovers? That is what I had asked…"

"Indeed beloved, indeed," he mumbled as he brought Harry's hand close to his face and kissed his knuckles tenderly, "You had kissed me, you can be quite courageous when you wish to be, my angel."

"Do you always…call me those things?" he asked as he kept his gaze at the sheets underneath him, his hands still within the older man's grasp.

"But of course. You are all those things, my Harry. You are my greatest treasure," he faked a worried frown, "But if it unnerves you or makes you uneasy, I will stop."

"No! No- uh…you don't have to. I-I kinda like it," he mumbled shyly as he glanced up towards the dark-haired wizard.

He received a simple smile, "Thank you," the words sounded odd coming from those thin lips and Harry guessed it was because this man did not thank much.

"I remember you…at least…I- feel like you're someone familiar. I feel like you are someone important to me…" Harry mumbled.

Voldemort felt himself relax at the boy finished the sentence. For a moment, he had thought the boy had regained his memories and had felt a jolt of disappointment at the possibility of his fun being cut short.

He released Harry's hand and pushed him gently down, "You must rest Harry. Perhaps your memories will come back to you if you rest."

Harry nodded his head, "Alright…" he said, his head falling on the pillow. It surprised him just how tired he was. He was asleep before Voldemort rose from the bed.

* * *

It was too easy! Really…he had expected to have to alter memory, give a tearful performance, give proof…_something_, _anything_ that could actually prove he was speaking the truth!

But the boy! It seemed his common sense and self-perseveration had also left with his memories.

Voldemort entered his study and in a pensive state, he walked towards his favorite chair and served himself a cup of brandy.

He was use to spinning tales and lies at the drop of a hat. He had been quite charming in his early years and had been able to smile disarmingly at any girl or boy and have them in his bed that same night.

With his resurrection, he had lost a bit of the charismatic air, for what was charisma if there was not a striking face to go along with it? He had instead relied on terror and anger to rule over his Death Eater for that short amount of time.

But then he found the potion. He was vain and proud. He shrugged mentally, what Slytherin was not prideful? That was one thing Gryffindor and Slytherin had in common: pride. But the potion, it brought back his charisma…his striking charm. He was not as handsome as he once was but he was striking, very much so and he doubted his features would change much over the years…he was so close to his ultimate goal…so very close!

But then what to do with the boy now…

He not only had a bargaining chip but also a new weapon.

As he sat down in his favorite chair, he realized that if he wanted to keep the boy under his thumb, he would have to make sure the brat did not remember anything. And then there was the fact that he would have to actually come up with an elaborate story of their lives, complex enough to make it seem like it had once happen, that it was not merely a lie, a manipulation. He would slowly program the boy to the ultimate weapon…to his ultimate tool. A boy with such power…it'd be such a waste…such a waste that type of power to simply kill him off. And to have the Boy-Who-Lived betray them, that would be the ultimate blow to the Order.

He chuckled. _"What will you do without your little Golden Boy, Dumbledore?"_

He grew solemn. Was it worth it? Was all the careful planning and changes worth it? Wouldn't it be better just to simply kill the boy now and save himself the trouble?

_No._ Something whispered deep within him and he concluded that he would proceed with his twisted little game.

He wanted to see just how much he could push and change the Potter boy. He wanted to see how long it would take to have the boy living simply for Lord Voldemort, breathing because Lord Voldemort wished it and dead when Lord Voldemort wished it.

It seemed like Harry Potter was quite willing to believe him, to live with him, to fall in love with him.

He laughed at the irony of it all. Harry Potter falling in love with him…ha!

But maybe with enough endearing terms, sweet, gentle smiles and caresses and him spoiling the boy with gifts and his fake love…what was that ridiculous muggle expression 'you catch bees with honey not vinegar?' Why he would want to catch bees though…

He sighed feeling a headache coming on. He made a mental note to check up on the boy and his mind to make sure nothing of his condition changed as he stood up and headed to the meeting room.

Now where was Wormtail? He needed to make a summon.

* * *

"He has him."

It was said softly, with an air of despair and renouncement although the tone was almost nonchalant and rigid. His statement was welcomed by a dead, heavy silence that no one was in any hurry to break.

"Bellatrix somehow managed to capture him and brought him during the meeting. The boy does not have his wand with him and knowing the Dark Lord he no doubt has either snapped it or has warded it off somewhere."

"Is- is he dead?" asked Molly Weasley and flinched once the words left her lips. _Please no, not Harry…not Harry…_

"He's in the Dark Lord's clutches, I do hope he is dead," He bit out and at the cry of outrage that rang through the room, his grasp on his rigid self-control snapped.

"He is in the Dark Lord's room!" He screamed, and at once, they all became silent.

"He is within the house of his worst enemy. The man, and I use the term quite loosely, who has tortured and maimed and killed for the simple joy it gives him! He does not care that Harry is just a boy, an innocent, sixteen year old boy! He has killed much younger and much more innocent! He will lie and twist his words so deeply into the boy, a boy with such a fragile mind-set, that he will break! 

And he will torture him all the while he spur these lies, he will break that boy as a mindless child breaks glass and he will laugh! He will fix him loosely only to smash him again and again until he has had enough and then, and only then will he give the boy a swift death, after he is bored of him, as if he was a toy! And let us hope he becomes repulsed at the mere thought of touching the boy voluptuously, for he will make the boy crave his touch and his caress, make him into a wanton creature that will only think for him, will only feel for him! He will destroy the boy! I wish to any God that will listen for his death at this moment for the alternative is one I do not wish to think about. So if you wish, you may think me callous or despicable. You may disagree with me. I frankly do not care but none of you have seen what he is capable of…this man is an abomination and we…we are destined for hell for letting someone like Harry know something as evil as he."

The man exhaled shakily before he sat down and laid his head at the edge of table, his long hair protecting him partly from his surroundings.

He felt a hand on his shoulders and knew without looking that it was Dumbledore.

"Will you be returning Severus?"

"Of course…" Snape said with not small amount of bitterness.

"I…" he cleared his thought, "if the boy is still alive…I will try- but I cannot promise anything. The Dark Lord is beginning to suspect me, but I'll try."

Dumbledore felt something twist his inside, for he knew that this man, this boy who he saw as a son, would sacrifice his own life if it meant there was a chance, no matter how small of a chance, to save Harry Potter.

Snape rose from his seat, his gaze on nothing in particular, "I must get ready, he will summon me soon."

He left, no one stopping him and they doubted and he doubted himself, that if they had tried to stop him that he would have actually stopped.

"Do nothing foolish my boy; I do not think this old man can bear to lose two sons to the same evil," Dumbledore said softly but they all heard within the too quiet room.

And it dawned on them. Without Harry, they could not win this War. Without Harry, would they be able to even lift up their wands? Yes, in the end, even with their heart so heavy with grief that it touched the floor, they would continue to fight, and avenge such innocence.

Molly was the first to break down and cry, soon followed by Remus who was held in the shaky hold of one Sirius Black who seemed at the verge of breaking down himself.

It did not take long for the grief to settle deep within them and spread it's taxing roots but yet they all sat and began forming plans, alternatives…anything…anything that would save the boy.

* * *

He woke up. It was abruptly and left him feeling slightly awkward. He tried to remember something, anything, and could not. But then a conversation came into the surface and bits and pieces also came, but nothing that was important…save for the conversation.

He knew he was a wizard. He knew he was a boy. He had known that without Tom having to say anything. He had not forgotten that…

Tom mentioned he was Harry...just Harry, although he remembered him calling him something earlier. His brows knitted together and he frowned in thought…why couldn't he remember…?

He sighed and shrugged, he'll ask Tom later…Tom…Tom…

…Tom…

He smiled, he liked that name. It sounded very familiar…

_Tom Marvolo Riddle_…something hissed in the back of his mind and he jolted in something akin to fear before he shook his head as if trying to get rid of something disagreeable.

"…_The only one in this world that I love in any shape or form."_

He felt a shiver run through him as he remembered his words. He believed him. He didn't know why, but something screamed at him that this man was someone he was not supposed to forget, someone important to him, a key person…

"…_You are all those things, my Harry. You are my greatest treasure…"_

He felt his heart flutter at those words; he remembered how those eyes shone with certain emotions, how those lips curved into something almost beautiful.

He brought his hand towards his chest and pressed down in an attempt to slow his racing heart. He did not love Tom…his heart…it did not scream out love for him…but he wanted to. He wanted to be able to love Tom once more…he wanted to be able to remember…!

He laid back down, his hand against his heart. He was tired again. He closed his eyes and fell asleep.

* * *

"Aw, Severus. So good of you to come," he said with a rigid smile that was cold.

He bowed his head, "Of course, my Lord…"

"I'm sure you, along with every other of my Death Eaters are wondering what I have done with Potter."

"I will admit that I am curious."

"Well you are in luck, my dear Severus," he said sardonically with piercing eyes. Snape stared back, seemingly unfazed.

"Not only will your curiosity be…fulfilled in a matter of minutes, but you will have a chance to prove your loyalty, for I am beginning to doubt you Severus, and place yourself in a favorable light."

He felt his heart beat hard and painfully against his ribcage.

"Anything, My Lord, anything."

A smirk curled his lips, "Good, very good. You might just leave here with not only your life but my approval and trust."

"That is all a servant like myself could ever ask for."

"Hmm…well then Severus listen carefully for you will play a key and vital role in my plan."

* * *

Well? What do you guys think? I hope I made it slightly believable. Anyway, I'm actually quite surprised that I've gotten my ten reviews so quickly –shrug-. People have a tendency to like my fics but not review them….hmmmmm….-chuckle- I suspect some login reviewers reviewed as anonymous reviewers as well so as to leave more reviews…or maybe I'm just being paranoid…??

**Some Notes**: Sirius, as you may have noticed –smiles- is alive and kicking. It will be mentioned in later chapters but one can conclude that book five did not end how it did. I will be taking certain things from book five and putting it in the fic however!

Also…uhhh…damn it… oh yeah! Just so you guys know, and it will be mentioned in the next chapter, Harry has a magical type of amnesia. He remembers certain little things like him being a wizard and being a boy but other things, he can't. However, this amnesia does not affect his way of behavior or his moral belief. Or his emotions although they are left in their purest form which leaves Harry feeling something that wasn't exactly correct, his feelings for Voldemort for example. It'll be explained later on, don't you worry!

Also, you guys might have noticed that Harry didn't remember that Voldemort had called him Potter? Yeah, let's just say our favorite Dark Lord had paid him a visit while he slept...

You got any questions, review and I'll try to clear everything up unless it'll spoil the story…

Anyway, like always, please **inform me if you guys find any errors**!! This is non-betaed and I only checked it once or twice so as to bring you guys this early. I was originally going to update this on Thursday…


	3. Onyx

**-Love and Forget: These Loving Memories-  
By: Concubine99**

**Disclaimer:**I do not own Harry Potter or its context.

**Warning(s):** Slash, Amnesia, Sexual Context, Angst, **Mpreg**, Language, Underage -Harry's sixteen-

**Main Paring: **Tom Riddle(Voldemort)/Harry Potter;

**Minor Pairings**: hmmmm... Sirius/Remus (not completely decided yet), other Slash and het pairings.

**Summary: **Harry's memories are gone but he's gained an imaginary life, three 'friends' with their own drama and a lover- he calls him Tom but everyone else knows him as The Dark Lord Voldemort.

**Chapter Three-  
****Onyx  
**_Like his bare gaze, like his withering heart_

* * *

"_Hmm…well then Severus listen carefully for you will play a key and vital role in my plan."_

The silence was thick and heavy and despite himself, he started to fidget. It was barely noticeable but he felt something twist inside him knowing he was giving himself away. He was showing too much!

"You are quite anxious aren't you, Severus?" the Dark Lord mumbled as he eyed the Potion Master with a cold smile, "Are you that worried about him?"

"Worried, My Lord?" he asked as he let something similar to a scoff escape him, "Hardly. I must admit however, that my curiosity is getting the best of me. I apologize."

"Hn," Voldemort hummed as he stood from the throne-like chair and walked down the pedestal with a casual air. He passed Severus without a word all the while heading towards the door and Severus took that as a sign to follow him.

"Do you know why I have not killed you yet, Severus?" Voldemort mumbled as they walked down the beautifully decorated halls.

"I am not sure-" Severus began, his voice held a cold and rigid tone to it.

"I did not expect an answer, Severus," Voldemort said with a chuckle. He turned his head slightly, glancing at the man who followed a couple sets behind him.

"You are quite talented, Severus. There are not many Potion Masters in the world, especially with your talent. It is one thing to gain a title, it is a whole different matter to actually be worthy of such title," Voldemort explained as he made a sharp turn to the left, "You are quite powerful magically and if I remember correctly, you were the only one who has managed to win against Lucius in a weaponry duel." He stopped suddenly and Severus stopped in response, his stance straight.

"I could look and it would be quite difficult to find someone with all your qualities. True, I could kill you and then find myself a Potion Master of your skill, a Healer like yourself (did you think I forgot about that little trait, Severus?) and then of course, you are rather intelligent, certainly no Crabbe. But that would take time. That is why I have not killed you although I suspect of you Severus."

He turned and his gaze pierced the younger man, almost devouring him. Severus felt his palms sweat and his heart speed up as it once again hit against his ribcage. But despite this, he kept his mental shields up and his emotions in check enough to think logically.

"Take off your mask, Severus," Voldemort ordered with a small tilt of his head. Snape hesitated but did as he was ordered. He self the cool air hit his face as he lowered his hand with the mask.

Vodlemort eyed the man with narrowed eyes. Severus swallowed and it felt like something the size of a snitch was going down his throat.

Death Eaters did not gaze at their Master without their mask. It was a show of weakness, of vulnerability and although one would think Voldemort would want that, for his soldiers to be vulnerable and trembling before him, he did not. He detested weakness, even if the weakness was because of him. Weakness was not a show of respect. To take one's mask in front of their Master was very bad…or very good…rarely very good. It either meant he trusted you unconditionally (and he does not trust anyone unconditionally), or he was about to execute you swiftly. When he executed you without your mask, you did not suffer, it was quick and painless and with no emotions. He did not think you even deserved his anger if he killed you without your mask, without your dignity. Even those Death Eaters who were disloyal did not wish such a death. Better to be tortured with his angry eyes twisting you, for then you die with the realization that you had mattered.

Quite twisted but you cannot be in this environment and not be.

"Relax Severus. If I decide to kill you, I'll make sure it is a death worthy of a wizard such as yourself," Voldemort finally mumbled before swiftly turning and continuing down the hall.

"What do you wish of me My Lord? You do not have any faith in me and yet-"

"I doubt you, Severus but maybe you'll prove those doubts faulty and unjustified," Voldemort cut him off with a quick nod of his head.

"Of course. Anything My Lord."

"You were always a rather smooth-talker Severus," Voldemort said as he stopped in front of two double doors.

"Do you know what these doors guard, Severus?"

"Your room, My Lord?"

Voldemort smiled coldly as he turned his head slightly so as to face him, "Yes but not only that. It holds my newest greatest treasure." He placed his hand on the wooden surface and a shimmer of magic was visible for only a moment before the doors seemed to shudder. A noise of a lock opening echoed and with a turn of the knob, they were inside the large room.

Severus scanned the room quickly before his eyes landed on the still figure of Harry Potter on a large bed. Without his knowledge, his legs moved towards the boy but he was stopped by the hand that landed on his shoulders.

He stiffened and turned slowly towards the Dark Lord who stared at him with hard eyes. "Take off your outer-robes and any jewelry or trinkets you may have on your person," he sneered, "for although I trust my anti-porkey wards, it never hurts to be overly cautious."

Severus felt his heart fall to his abdomen at his words. He had indeed a port-key, many port-keys in fact. It was the only plan he could think of in the short time he had between leaving the Order meeting and being summoned! Damn it, damn it, damn-

"Come here, Severus," Voldemort snapped. Severus turned his gaze towards the man who now stood next to the bed.

He was mildly surprised to see the Dark Lord over there but Severus could understand how he had managed to walk across the room without him noticing. He was too busy disrobing and leaving any "jewelry and trinkets" near the door all the while mentally cursing to really notice the Dark Lord's movements.

He walked towards the boy and felt his chest tighten at the sight of him. He was pale and looked so small. His glasses were askew but Severus eyes seemed to be stuck at his right arm. It was in an odd angle bloody and slightly burnt. He vaguely remembered it being like that when he was brought to the meeting by Bellatrix.

"He didn't even feel it…" Voldemort said as he noticed where Severus' gaze was glued to, "He had woken up a while ago, almost as soon as I entered the room after the meeting. He moved that arm around but it was like he didn't feel that it was badly damaged. I'm sure that he had glanced at it, at least once..." he said as he vaguely remembered kissing the boy's hands, "Yet he dismissed it, although to dismiss something one needs to know it exist…"

"My Lord?" Severus asked with a raised eyebrow and a small frown.

"He has amnesia Severus," Voldemort mumbled. There was a glint in his eyes that Severus did not like.

"Amnesia? Are you sure My Lord?"

"Are you questioning my abilities to correctly diagnosis something as simple as forgetfulness?" Voldemort said with a sneer, "I may not be as great a Healer as you, but I know enough rest assure, Severus."

"I did not mean it in that way my Lord. I apologize," he said as he bowed his head.

"He did not flinch, not even once while I was in his presence, Severus. Do you know what is so odd about that?" Voldemort asked and when he saw Severus open his mouth to respond, he cut him off swiftly.

"I recall not too long ago that he could not be in my presence without feeling immense pain yet we had a…pleasant conversation without even a flinch."

"Is that so?" he asked as his gaze landed once more on Harry.

"Yes…I entered his mind, once when he was awake which caused him great pain, I was not exactly gentle in my pursuit, and another time while he slept, right before I summoned you in fact."

"What did you find out my Lord?"

"His mind is shattered. It reminded me somewhat of a mirror, really. Most memories and thoughts were shattered to the extent that all they are now is mere flashes of light and obscure sounds, if not just darkness. There are few memories left. These memories are nothing. Little things like he's a boy and the very basics of magic and by basic, I mean he's a five year old with the magical capacity of a…well a Boy-Who-Lived." He chuckled as if he just stated a humorous joke to Severus.

"That is…remarkable…"

"What is truly remarkable is that any pain that is associated with the memories "pulverized", he does not register. That is why his scar does not hurt or why he does not feel his arm. I doubt he truly sees his arms like it truly is…"

"What do you plan to do, if I may ask?"

"I told him I was his lover," Voldemort said bluntly without any shame and just a trace of glee. He glanced towards the black-eyed wizard who stared at him with slight disbelief and something else but before he could truly indentify it, it was gone, replaced by a glazed and nonchalant gaze.

"Really…" he mumbled.

"Yes, it was quite easy to convince him that he was my only love…he is quite starved for love it seems," Voldemort said with a small twisted smile.

"From what I could find, although his memories are virtually gone, his emotions and morals seem to have…stuck, for lack of better word-" Severus felt something akin to hope fill his heart "-yet, his emotions are at their basic level. He cannot truly distinguish love from hate, but he can distinguish good from evil. He still has his own morals."

"How can he not distinguish love from hate?"

"What? Do you not believe in that old pathetic saying of there being a thin line between love and hate, Severus?" He asked as he rolled his neck to the left as if to loosen the tension there, "Well, neither do I. I reason he can't distinguish them, Severus, because he is not truly feeling specific emotions. He hated me before this accident; he loved his mother before this accident. Now, all he knows is that he held strong feelings for a redhead and strong feelings for me. His emotions are mere instinct now."

"He remembers his-"

"Mother? Yes, although from what I could see, he only has a picture of her in his mind and the distant impression that she is truly important to him."

"What do you plan to do?" Severus asked once more with a rigid posture and cold tone. Voldemort raised an eyebrow in dark amusement.

"What I plan to do? I plan to take advantage of this opportunity that has presented itself before me. He is going to be my little treasure. He is going to be the tool to end the Order once and for all."

Voldemort noticed how Severus' gaze kept shifting towards Harry during his little statement and he let out a bark of a laughter, "I know what you are thinking, Severus." Severus stiffened at that comment, "You do not have to _worry_. He will not awake…not yet. Not until I wish it."

"That's good, It'd be quite a shame for you plans to be ruined, my Lord," Severus mumbled with a straight face and calm even voice. Voldemort felt his lips twitch.

He turned towards the boy sleeping, "You are probably wondering why you are here, hn?"

"I must admit my curiosity."

"I am not sure how long this amnesia will last. I want you to start brewing _Scrupulosa Memoria_. I want a vial available for him to take daily. You will also be in charge of training my little weapon here."

"My Lord-"

"I'm giving you a week, Severus. Although a complex potion, I know it takes less than seven days to create. I, like stated before, doubt you. This is why all your lessons with him will be monitored by either me or Nagini. If you so much as utter a single word that could jeopardize my plans, I will kill you or Nagini will have you as a snack. You will always be checked for any port-keys or messages you will try to slip him and every night, I will enter his mind and if I find anything threatening, I will obliterate it and then obliterate you." He was staring at the Death Eater with a manic look. It was cold and dark with a twisted insane glint.

"Of course, my Lord…of course," he mumbled as he bowed in front of the boy.

"Hm…good…let's start this little play shall we?" he mumbled as he turned towards the boy and leaned towards him. He shook a boney shoulder almost gently, "Harry, wake up. There's someone I want you to meet, Harry…"

Harry let out a deep breath before he woke up abruptly. He looked up towards "Tom" and he smiled gently, "Tom…"

The Dark Lord smiled, "Harry, did you have a nice sleep?"

Harry nodded his head as he shifted into a sitting position. He noticed the formidable figure next to Tom and went rigid. "Who's this?"

"This is Severus, beloved," Tom said as he sat on the bed next to the boy and opened his arms. Harry smiled shyly but shifted himself into the open arms and rested himself against a broad chest.

"Hi," Harry mumbled as he glanced up towards the man before he dug his face into the warm chest of his Tom.

Voldemort glared at Severus as a frown tugged his lips. Severus' mind came out of its state of shock.

"How are you feeling, Harry?"

"Fine," he mumbled as he glanced towards him.

"That's good."

"Kitten, he's your teacher and your Healer."

"My Healer?"

"You are a rather sickly boy. Before your capture you took a daily potion for your health. I'm assuming those animals did not think to take proper care of you so they did not give you your potion and it seems Severus has had an accident and it will be a week before you can have another dose of-"

"What's the potion for?"

"You have a weak heart, my kitten. Reason why I do not like you doing anything to strenuous…" he said all the while keeping his gaze on Severus, "Severus is your personal Healer for a reason. He was quite upset when he learned that you were taken. He has grown quite attach to you, haven't you, Severus?"

Severus nodded curtly and couldn't help but ask. "Pot- Harry…have you truly forgotten who you are?"

Harry shifted his weight so he was practically on Tom's lap. His head titled to the side all the while gazing at the proclaimed Healer with open eyes, "I have…but Tom told me. I'm his love, that's what he says…I'm his only love. And I believe him…I feel he is someone very important to me…"

Severus cooled his inner turmoil. "I'm glad you can remember at least that but I am somewhat frustrated. It seems we will have to start your studies all over again."

Harry smiled a small, shy smile. "I'm sorry Sev'rus…I- I can't remember…but I do feel you are someone who…is my teacher…influential is the word perhaps?"

"I have always hoped that was how you saw me, Harry," Severus mumbled as he gazed into green eyes.

Harry grinned, "Well, it's nice meeting you, Severus! And thank you for making my potions!"

Severus swallowed hard, "It's- it's not a problem. Anything to help my favorite student."

He merely received a gentle smile in return and a smirk from the Dark Lord.

* * *

He walked out of the room and down the hallway with the quiet Dark Lord.

"_I will be right back, kitten. I must speak with Severus alone for a moment."_

"_Harry, Severus is here to mend your wound."_

"_Beloved, do you wish to take a bath?"_

"_My treasure…"_

He felt something akin to a shudder run through him as he continued to remember their little interaction. They had left Harry, his arm wrapped and clean and with him heading towards the linked bathroom.

They reached the edge of the property and Severus was about to apparate without a word towards the Dark Lord –something that would no doubt cause him much pain the next time he appeared before him- but was stopped by Voldemort.

"Severus, before you go…" He turned to face his Lord with a passive expression.

"Yes, my Lord?"

"_Scrupulosa Memoria, _I want you to add an extra ingredient that will cause cardiopulmonary problems. Manageable, treatable but if taken for long enough, incurable. I want it to be that he will forever be dependent of me-"

"My Lord, with all due respect, the only ingredient that can be mixed with the _Scrupulosa Memoria_ and have that kind of side-effects is dragon heartstring. There is no cure for the side effects they cause. He will eventually have to take medication just so it doesn't kill him! The heartstrings will eat away at his heart and lungs!"

"You dare yell at me, you fool!" Voldemort hissed and before Severus could react, a wand was pointed towards him.

"I know perfectly well the side effects of dragon heartstrings. I took Potions once and I remember doing quite well in that class. If you had let me finish, you would have head me telling you to add in some _Moon Lily_ so as to reduce the strength of the heartstrings." The wand lowered but magic seemed to crackle around them both.

"I am keeping my patience with you because you are one of my best and because you now play a key role in my plans but do not think I will hesitate to kill you if you show me such disrespect again. Be glad I am in quite a good mood after seeing the Potter brat or you'd be on the group in pain."

Severus bowed deeply towards the angered wizard, "I- I am sorry my Lord. I do not know what is wrong with me today. Forgive this lowly servant for his show of disrespect and disloyalty."

Voldemort seemed to glower at him, "Leave. I want you here in seven days Severus with the potion," he mumbled. A cruel smirk played his lips, " and I will be sending you parts of the script of our little play very soon…"

* * *

He appeared in front of the ancient and grand castle and with a sudden deep exhale of breath, he fell to his knees. He stayed there, his eyes closed shut as he tried to clear his mind and regain control of his heart. When he stood up, his eyes were once cold, his emotions behind tight held shields and his heart withering painfully.

* * *

YAY! I update! Well…uhhh…let's see….gee…these are hard…hmmmmmmmmm

**Next Chapter**: the Next Generation of Death Eater are given a new task, the Order plans and Tom and Harry "bond".

Anyway, my motivation for updating is often reviews, not people adding my to their favorite and alerts, although I'm quite flattered when so many do…

**NOT BETAED**!! If anyone wants to be my beta, I'd gladly appreciate it!

**P.S. **please tell me if you guys find any **mistakes**. I only checked it once so there might still be a lot out there…

Is it just me or is fanfiction(.)net messing with the documents you upload? Like breaking a sentence and having it one space down or somethin'...grrrrrr


	4. Emerald

**-Love and Forget: These Loving Memories-  
By: Concubine99**

**Disclaimer:**I do not own Harry Potter or its context.

**Warning(s):** Slash, Amnesia, Sexual Context, Angst, **Mpreg**, Language, Underage -Harry's sixteen-

**Main Paring: **Tom Riddle(Voldemort)/Harry Potter;

**Side Pairings**: Sirius/Remus, Severus/Lucius, Draco/Blaise, Ron/Hermione,

**Summary: **Harry's memories are gone but he's gained an imaginary life, three 'friends' with their own drama and a lover- he calls him Tom but everyone else knows him as The Dark Lord Voldemort.

**Beta**: The Awesome Shadow-Ravin. Thank you love, so very much! -smile-

**A/N**: I hope people actually read these notes! Anyway, as some of you have read, I've decided on the side pairings. It will **_not be just hinted at_**, it will be there and quite obvious. That doesn't mean that I'm going to focus more than ½ of the fanfiction on them. So if you have a problem with any of them either ignore it (doubt you'll be able to though) or don't read. Sorry guys but I'm not changing it!

* * *

**Chapter Four-  
****Emerald  
**_Like the lovely jewels, like his loving eyes_

--

Lucius Malfoy cared deeply for three people and truly loved only two.

He loved his son for Draco was his greatest accomplishment, his greatest treasure. He would do anything for his son; he would sacrifice his own life for Draco's happiness even. Of course he felt great gratitude towards Narcissa for she bore him a son, his only son and heir. He could have done worse, much worse in choosing a wife and he, in his own way, cared about her deeply, cared about her enough to indulge her in almost everything she ever asked him, but he did not truly love her, not like he loved-

There was a sound outside the door, shuffling and the sound of mumbling before the door was open and walked in his only son.

He was shaped more like his mother than himself. It was not that he was curvy, for Narcissa was a true woman, no one could deny that, but that he was somewhat petite. He still had years of growing but Lucius had a feeling he would not grow much more within those years. He was lean like most Blacks and had the aristocratic face of a Malfoy. His hair was not the strawberry blonde that was Narcissa's, but platinum blond that was a characteristic of the Malfoy line and grey eyes that had the tendency to change from pale blue to striking silver.

He was Lucius' pride and he had long ago realized that if Draco were to enter into their Lord's circle, he would not survive. Draco, despite his cold glares and sometimes vicious personality, was too fragile to be a Death Eater. He would break and then their Lord would kill him.

That was why he had, for the first time, truly went against his Lord's wishes without hesitation. He had sent his son away along with his mother towards Spain. He did not fear the Dark Lord more than he loved his son. Even though today was the day that the Dark Lord had wanted to see Draco before him, Lucius had his mind set not to send for his son. He had been prepared to face their Lord without his son at his side.

Yet, here stood his son. He had not called for him, so why was he here!

"Draco," Lucius hissed as he stood up and walked towards his son and grabbed his by his upper arm, "Are you mad? Did I not tell you to stay in Spain? Where is your mother?"

"In Spain," Draco mumbled as he stared up at his father, "I stunned her and came back here-"

"You stunned your mother? What were you thin-"

"Blaise told me what happened in the last meeting," Draco interrupted his father, something he rarely did. He respected his parents above all else and the fact that he had pointed his wand towards his mother, it was beyond disbelief.

Lucius felt his lips twist into a nasty sneer, "I should have known, that damn Zabini-"

"Father," Draco mumbled almost desperately, "Please- he was just trying to help. He knew I wouldn't want-"

"Draco, you cannot stay here. If the Dark Lord finds out you have returned, I will not be able to send you away again!"

"He already knows I've arrived," Draco said. He seemed to shrink under his father's gaze but then suddenly with enough courage to rival that of a Gryffindor, he seemed to expanded and his slack posture became tall and straight, "I sent him a letter, formally apologizing for my disrespect and that I would gladly be present today."

"What have you done!" Lucius roared as he shook his only son, "Have you any idea? I have worked so hard to keep you from this and you plunge yourself into it? Have you taken leave of your senses, Draconis?!"

Draco almost flinched, for his full name was rarely used by his parents unless angered or in a state of extreme distress, "I- he'll kill you…" the younger blond mumbled as he stared into his father's gray eyes. His own seemed to swirl and shimmer into a silvery blue, "…Papa, he'll kill you and mother…please, please let me do this…"

Lucius felt something twist and pull at his heartstring. It had been a long time since he heard Draco refer to him as anything but the almost too formal term "father". Children from pureblood families grew more quickly than most children should, and it was often at the expense of having a loving relationship between parent and child.

Draco hugged his father and buried his face into the warm solid chest, "it can't be helped, Papa…"

He knew what his son was saying was the truth; he knew quite well that it was. There was no escaping. He encircled his arms around his little dragon and closed his eyes as he felt them sting.

His poor little boy…

* * *

_Draco, I'll be there for you. _

_B._

* * *

Severus stood in front of the Order once more, their attention on him and for a moment, he felt a vague sense of twisted amusement. Many of them here did not like him, distrusted him or both. He could count the number of people within the Order who felt more than a strained tolerance for him in one bloody hand. Yet, they hung on his words whenever he came to report. He had already told them what had occurred and now he stood waiting patiently for someone to break the silence. Of course it was Black.

"The bloody bastard!" He roared as he stood up. Something dark and insister glinted within his dark gray eyes. Severus had always thought that Sirius Black would have made a great Death Eater. He was sinister enough, impulsive enough and at times, just plain insane.

Yet, he hadn't. He had taken the better road, the "road less taken" by the Black family. He was the black sheep of the family. No pun intended.

He saw as the werewolf placed a hand on the angered man and almost immediately, Black seemed to deflate.

"There is nothing you can do, Severus?" mumbled the soft-spoken man. Severus feared the werewolf much more than he hated him. There were times he didn't hate the man at all.

"Not without sacrificing myself and even then I doubt I'd be able to bring him back," Severus said with a glare as he saw many eyes gaining an almost hopeful glint to them. At times it surprised him just how easily they were willing to sacrifice him.

"And you don't know where that blasted mansion of his is?" The sentence was said rough and with obvious suspicion and distaste. Severus felt his eyes roll as he crossed his arms in front of him.

"Memory slipping in your old age, Moody? Have I not already stated that I do not know the location-"

"I don't need memory to slap you into next week, Severus," Moody bit out as he shifted his position. His wild eyes spun around before it halted abruptly and both eyes gazed at the Potion Master coldly.

"Is that a challenge?" Snape mumbled as he leaned towards the table, "Because I could indulge you for a minute or two, really it won't take much of my time-"

"Why you little-"

"Enough!" Dumbledore roared and there was silence. His blue eyes stared coldly towards Moody, "Severus is a valid member of the Order who puts his life on the line and has proven his loyalty time and time again. No more of this, Moody."

Moody grunted but looked submissive, at least as submissive as someone like Moody could look. Dumbledore's gaze fell on Severus once more, "You were saying, Severus?" Those usual twinkling eyes were serious and hard. The old man was scolding him as well, Severus noted.

"The manor is unplottable, with various forms of notice-me-not charms. No one knows where it is located. Death Eaters are summoned via the Dark Mark."

"Via the Dark Mark? Really?" Remus mused out loud with a thoughtful expression, "Is it possible to transport another person, not just yourself?"

"Yes," Severus said without blinking and he felt their hope rise, "Unfortunately, the Dark Lord senses when you do this and can block that person." Their hope fell and crushed.

"Could you not find out where it's located?" Sirius said civilly.

Severus shrugged, "Perhaps, but not at the moment. The Dark Lord is suspicious of me. I am surprised he is even letting me be in such close proximity of Potter."

"What about Lucius?" Severus dark eyes landed on the patriarch of the Weasley family. "What about him?" Severus said with a small tilt of his head. He felt something in his belly, bubbling, twisting, pulling…

"He could find out. You and him are old friends if I remember correctly-"

"No. Lucius…no. It will not work," Severus said in an abrupt, cold manner. He would not betray Lucius, especially in such a way that could get him killed by the Dark Lord.

"And why not?" Sirius said, no longer quite a civil as before.

"Because Lucius is not an idiot. I can't just ask him to find out the location of the mansion without arousing his suspicion. He will then tell the Dark Lord and then I am, in your simple terms, Black, screwed."

"Wouldn't want that," Sirius mumbled as he leaned back on his chair with something similar to a pout.

"No, you wouldn't because then your little godchild would forever be the Dark Lord's little pet," Severus sneered out.

Sirius rose from his chair and his wand was out and pointing towards Severus. Severus had been a split second behind him before his wand was pointing towards Sirius.

"Give me a reason Black, just one," Severus hissed.

"Sirius, sit down and stop antagonizing Severus," Remus said with an almost desperate tone to his voice. Severus spared a glance towards the werewolf. He looked exhausted but then again, the full moon was a day away.

"Severus, put your wand away," Dumbledore ordered with a final tone. Severus did, as soon as Sirius did.

"Do you two think you'll be able to make it to the rest of the meeting without the use of your wands?" Dumbledore said with obvious disapproval.

They didn't answer but it seemed like Dumbledore wasn't expecting them to. "Let's get back to business. _Scrupulosa Memoria _is a rather powerful potion. It affects the memory of the drinker. Why would Tom want to do that? Did he not say Harry's memories were practically destroyed…why would he need the potion?"

"I'm assuming he is just being overly cautious. He does not want any dangerous memories to resurface."

"You can do nothing to perhaps make this a reality?"

"Again, not at the moment. The Dark Lord is not stupid. If he doubts me and he does, then he will also be checking my potions before they get anywhere near the boy." Severus eyed the people as they shifted and turned, many trying to come up with a plan.

"Headmaster, if I may," Severus said with a small tilt of his head.

Dumbledore nodded his head, "Of course Severus."

"Harry Potter is at the moment relatively safe. The Dark Lord plans on training him under the assumption that Harry will always be wrapped up by his lies. I do not think it will be as easy. The Dark Lord said Harry still has his morals and basic, instinctive emotions. I doubt the Dark Lord will be able to sway him to became a Death Eater or anything alike."

"You think so, Severus…?"

"Yes. If it does occur, it will not happen immediately and by then, we might just have a way of rescuing Potter without any casualties."

"So what are you saying? To just give up?" Sirius growled in an inhuman-like manner.

"Did you hear me say that, Black, because I do not recall those words leaving me." Severus sneered. "All I am saying is that we have more time than we are assuming we have."

* * *

Harry was warm. It engulfed him. He felt the soft weight of the comforter and strong secure arms wrapped around him. His head was under something smooth and hard that gave off a simple rhythmic lullaby. He opened his eyes slowly and stayed in the same position as he stared at nothing.

"Awake?" something mumbled beneath and the vibration of that one word entered him and created something like a shiver inside him.

He pushed away from the figure and moved as far away as possible. The figure shifted and red eyes gazed at him in something close to amusement.

"Did I startle you, kitten?" Harry stared at the man in surprise but his surprise did not stop the blush from taking over his face.

"What- what are you doing here…"

"I live here, Harry."

"I know, I know, but here…in this room…"

"This is my room."

"Oh…" Harry mumbled as he fumbled with the comforter, "I- I didn't know…where is my room then?"

"Here," Tom said as he shifted into a sitting position and leaned back against the headboard. The comforter fell and revealed a naked chest. The blush that had slowly gone away bled right back to Harry face.

Tom laughed; it was not cold or menacing but deep and rough, almost grating. Harry felt his chest tighten at the sound. It was unfamiliar to him yet he loved it and felt amazement as the sound rang through the room.

"You don't laugh a lot, do you," Harry said with all seriousness and Tom stopped abruptly. His eyes held a calculating look and for a moment, Harry could almost say that Tom's gaze was cold. But it did not last long, barely a second before those red eyes turned warm, reminding Harry of red wine that was held in a heated cellar for centuries.

"I only laugh with you, kitten," Tom mumbled softly. "I only smile at you, and I love only you."

Harry shifted his gaze from Tom's form. It roamed the large, round room, stopping at certain places.

"So I sleep with you…" Harry's eyes widen and the blush as back, "Wait! I-I mean we sleep in the same bed!"

"Yes, of course. If it makes you uncomfortable, Harry, I could always have the House Elf rearrange your old room."

"No-No, it's fine. I- you just startled me is all."

"I'm sorry," Tom said as he leaned towards Harry. He grasped Harry's arm and gently pulled the boy towards him, "Harry…" he mumbled as he buried his face into the raven tresses. "Your hair has been cut…"

"Huh?"

"Your hair…it was longer…" Tom continued to mumble as he nuzzled the top of Harry's head. Harry stayed in place against Tom's chest. "I don't- I don't remember what I look like…"

"You're beautiful, kitten," Tom said as he caressed the back of Harry's neck.

"You have the most beautiful eyes. They're like emeralds. You're a bit small for your age but that's alright, you still have some years left to grow. Your hair is black and despite any attempts, will not be tamed…and you have a scar on your forehead."

"A scar?" Harry repeated as he pushed himself away from Tom's chest but not far enough for Tom's grasp around him to strain, "How'd I get it?"

"The wizard that killed your parents did not leave you completely unharmed," Tom said slowly with a glint in his eyes. The glint vanished quickly though.

"Oh…what, what was his name?" Harry said with a frown and questioning eyes.

"Do not worry about that now, love…" Tom leaned towards Harry all the while keeping Harry in place by the hand around his neck. Their lips touched and Harry's breath seemed to be stuck in his throat. It was nothing but chaste and it lasted for only a moment but even when Tom pulled away, Harry stayed in his slight haze, his eyes half-closed.

"Harry…"

"You kissed me…"

"Indeed I did," Tom said with an amused snort.

"You kissed me…"

"Harry…" Tom murmured with a roll of his eyes and Harry seemed to snap out of his haze.

"Sorry…"

"Anyway…I have a meeting with my…subordinates shortly and will have to leave you here until late afternoon, will that be alright?"

"Subordinates? Are you a general or somethin'?" Harry asked with a tilt of his head. It bothered him, bothered him greatly that he could not remember anything of his…lover…of Tom. He wanted to remember!

"No, I am not. I am a…a revolutionist I would think. I have my followers who agree with my views and we are in the middle of a…civil war."

"Is the person who killed me parent on your side or…the other?"

Tom sighed, "Harry…let us not talk about such depressing matters at the moment. Why don't you try getting a bit more sleep? It's still quite early."

Harry frowned, "Tom-"

"Kitten, please," Tom said with a sudden edge, "I wish to prolong entering those images in your head for as long as possible."

Harry continued to frown, feeling his curiosity peaking and tugging at him, and his stubbornness seemed to have reared its head for he almost didn't drop it, but in the end he nodded his head.

"Alright…but you gotta tell me sooner or later, k?"

"I promise, beloved, I promise," Tom said, already out of bed and leaning towards Harry for a quick kiss. The kissed lasted longer than the first and Tom had been a bit bolder, his tongue trailing over Harry's lips before he pulled away.

Harry stared at his hands, thoughts swirling and turning in his head. He could not remember anything useful, nothing about anyone. He hated it. He hated it and he couldn't shake the feeling that Tom wanted to avoid many things, many things he wanted to know, wanted to remember…

He felt a shiver run though him as something dark and almost sinister pushed at the back of his mind, trying to form, to break free, to appear. _Tom Marvolo Riddle…I am Lord-_

The sound of water running shattered that dark mass that was beginning to take shape at the back of his mind. He shook his head, the memory gone and broken. Yet, he felt something close to relief that the memory had not completely come to him.

'_I'll ask that man…Severus…he's my teacher, he'll know…I'll ask Severus…'_

He buried himself back under the covers of the large bed. By the time Voldemort was out of the bathroom, he was already asleep.

* * *

It had been a while since he had felt this…giddy…this happy. In fact, he could count the times within the last five years he had been this happy in one hand.

The day had started out rather well. He would not deny that the Potter brat was visibly appealing; there was no real point in denying such truth really. It would have been slightly harder to say such sweet nothings to the boy if he was unattractive.

He had woken up with a start and seeing the Boy-Who-Loved red and stuttering, it was most amusing…almost enduring. But then again, he assumed a wolf found how a deer quivered amusing and endearing as well.

He had gotten a letter from the Malfoy heir last night stating he was deeply sorry for creating any inconvenience and that he would indeed be there the next day for the meeting. Now, as he sat on his chair, his Death Eaters lined up and waiting patiently for him, he felt his good mood heightened.

"How easily emotions are swayed," he began. He saw a couple of his followers shift and fidget, no doubt still cautious after yesterday's display of their Lord's anger.

"I have not been this pleased in a long while," his eyes searched out for a specific follower and when he found her, he raised his hand and beckoned her with one finger, "Come here, Bella. Stand before your Lord."

The witch walked out of line and stood before the Dark Lord with noticeable glee.

"You've done well, Bella. You've brought me Potter and for that, you will be reward. I have questions, however."

"Anything, my Lord!"

"How did you find him?"

"The Order has been taking in any members they can get it seems. I came upon one blabbing about the Order to his friend! A little persuasion and he told me where to find the boy. The place was warded and I almost didn't find it but I did! Took me a long time, Master, a very long time but I managed to make a small enough hole to get in! The wards protect against bad intention…I wasn't goin' to hurt itty bitty Potter, just bring him here, Master, bring him here!"

"Good, very good…go back in line, Bella…" She bowed and complied. It was only when she was in line once more, did Voldemort rise from the throne-like chair and descended the platform.

"Many of you are probably wondering what I have done with Potter…" he mumbled as he began to pace slowly.

There were those who nodded or mumbled an affirmative and then there were those who kept silent and not moving even an inch.

"He's alive," he said, "he's in my bedroom sleeping peacefully I would guess."

Voldemort heard someone choke on what he assumed was their own spit and several gasp. He chuckled at their reactions, "Before any of you go on and imagine something false, let me explain." He stopped his pacing and stood between the two lines of his Death Eaters, right in the middle.

"Harry Potter has forgotten. He does not remember anything useful and what fool would not take advantage of that?" His red eyes traveled down the line that was in front of him. He began to once more pace.

"He now thinks I saved him from the murderer of his family and that he is currently my lover. I am a revolutionist and we are in the middle of a civil war and those on the opposite side had kidnapped him and because of a stray spell, he is currently without memories. Severus," he made an absent gesture with his hand towards the man who stood between Malfoy Sr. and Nott, "is his personal teacher and healer for he is a sickly boy who has a heart condition." He chuckled once he finished speaking for he could practically sense their shock.

"Harry Potter has great magical potential. He reminds me of himself when I saw that age. Imagine what we could do if he could be swayed to our side? He is already convinced that he once loved me and I suspect it will not take long for him to love me. The boy is starved for affection it would seem. With a little training, he could be a formidable weapon!"

"But my Lord! This is-" Bellatrix shrieked and was interrupted by their Lord, "Bella, must you shriek like a damn banshee?" His words were cold and his eyes glared into hers beneath her mask.

"I apologize Master but-"

"Shut up," Voldemort said with a roll of his eyes, "Just be quiet. Stand there and listen, that's all you have to do, Bella."

He turned from her and the show of dismissal seemed to internally destroy the witch for she let out a sound similar to a cat being throttled would make although almost too soft to be heard.

"Master…why choose Severus?" It was Nott.

Nott was more calculating and tactical than actually cunning or manipulative. He had nothing against Severus personally. They favored each other when it came to a game of chess or anything involving intelligence and strategy. But Nott knew with almost complete certainty that Severus was…shady at best. Not in the sense that he was not a nice man for there was no such thing as a 'nice man' when concerning Death Eaters but in the sense that his loyalty was questionable. It was not truly noticeable and Nott doubted many suspected Severus but he would have assumed that their Lord would have…

"Why Severus? Because he is the most qualified. Nagini or I will, of course, always accompany him for safety reasons. I would have asked Lucius or maybe you, Nott but I needed someone who knew Potter well enough…" Voldemort answered with a tilt of his head.

His inner circle consisted of ten members: Malfoy, Snape, Nott, the Lestranges (Bellatrix, Rodolphus, Rabastan), Avery, Macnair, Crabbe and Goyle. They and only they could ever truly question him and possibly get away with it. It depended on his mood and on how exactly they phrased the question.

Ever since the day at the graveyard though, their Master had been less…tolerant with many of them, namely Avery. It would be many years (at least twelve more) before their Lord even began to forgive most of them for their lack of…faith.

Voldemort turned almost abruptly and headed once more towards his chair where he gracefully let himself fall, "Now that I no longer have to focus my attention on how to destroy the damn brat, our attention can be focused on other matters, before we get to that…Draco, step out of line."

Severus felt Lucius stiffened next to him as the Dark Lord called on Draco. Severus saw as his godson leave the line and thus his father's side and stood facing the platform and throne.

The Dark Lord and Draco stood in each other's line of vision, Draco without a mask and his gaze on the floor while the Dark Lord stared at the Malfoy heir calmly.

"All of you are probably wondering why I had your children accompany you? It came to me yesterday while I was retiring to bed…lil' Harry needs friends!"

There was a smile on their Master's face that sent shivers down their spine. It was cold and sharp. "I can't very much have him in my rooms constantly, bored and alone, can I? If I wish to influence him, then the best way is to give him friends…you offered your hand in friendship to him, am I correct, Draco?"

"Yes, my Lord, in our first year…" Draco mumbled as he kept his eyes on the floor.

"Well, let us pretend from now on that he accepted it," Voldemort said softly, "You will be his best friend, Draco, and you will help influence him in whichever way I see fit…do you understand, Draco?"

"Of course, My Lord."

"Good," Voldemort said with a curt nod and a sweeping gaze through the rows of Death Eaters and their children.

"Pick a friend, Draco…" he ordered, intentionally not saying for what for.

Draco hesitated for a moment, his gaze going up and down the two rows before they landed on a tall, board, black boy with high cheekbones and long, slanting eyes that stood at the very beginning of the line, Crabbe Jr. next to him.

"Blaise…" Draco mumbled and the tall boy titled his head foreword in a slight bow.

"Zabini? Oh, alright, step forward Zabini," Voldemort said with a causal wave of his hand. Zabini walked towards where Draco stood and once there, he bowed deeply towards their Lord but did not speak.

Voldemort raised an eyebrow in dark amusement, "How is your mother, Zabini? On another trip of indulges with her number-something husband?"

Blaise tilted his head in the way that he often did, "Most likely, My Lord," Blaise said softly without a hint of emotion.

"A talented witch, excelled in Potions if I do recall, but sadly she never felt pulled to the cause but fortunately she never favored Dumbledore's side either. It would have been a misfortunate if such a beautiful witch as herself had to be killed."

"Hm…indeed," Blaise said with a respectful tilt of his head.

"Why are you here, Zabini?" Voldemort said with calculating eyes, "Although you share our views, your family has never seemed interested in joining us…"

"I'm a man of my word, My Lord," Blaise said and he risked a glance towards the blond standing next to him.

Voldemort caught the glance and something twisted and dark curled itself in his belly. Truly, how amusing…to think such an emotionless boy felt-

"Blaise…pick another child," he ordered curtly, wanting to get this over with. The boy had awoken up not too long ago…

"Nott, My Lord…"Blaise said without even looking around. Theodore Nott was almost cleverer than Blaise and a loner. He did not feel the usual human need to belong although, Blaise knew that Theo was a boy who would dedicate himself to one person, and one person only. He knew that simply because they grew up together. He was tall and weedy-looking with light brown hair and pale blue eyes that during the day sometimes looked almost white.

Theodore talked towards the two boys with gangly steps and once there, bowed towards Voldemort, "My Lord." Unlike Blaise's voice which was rough, Theodore's was smooth and not as low as Blaise.

"Three boys…hm…alright…alright…this…this will work…" Voldemort mumbled to himself as he leaned back against his chair in thought.

"When you come upon him, speak to him, retell false memories, make him believe every lie you say to him, and _**remember**_ every lie you say. I do not wish to obliverate him every time you younglings mess up. Make him believe you four are the greatest of friends, that the three of you are his most trusted confidants. Then when you're done for the day, come to me and retell every lie…"

The young men bowed their head. "Yes, my Lord," Draco said.

Voldemort smiled. "Good…" Voldemort said softly as he eyed the three boys in something close to glee. Minutes passed in tense silence as the three boys barely moved and the Death Eaters shifted in something close to anxiety.

The silence was broken abruptly. It was hissing and the sound of something slithering on the ground as Nagini appeared through the crack of the door and headed towards her master. The three young men shifted away from the large snake and she paid them no mind as she continued her journey up the platform and towards her master.

…_boy…there is the boy outside the door; Master…he is listening…_

Voldemort snapped his gaze towards the door and called out so it echoed through the room, "It's rude to eavesdrop, Harry…"

The Death Eaters shifted and all eyes went towards the door as it opened and there stood Harry Potter. He was dressed differently from the last time they saw him –yesterday's meeting- with his right arm bandaged and fidgeting and shivering as he stood, barefoot on the cold stone.

"Sorry…"

Tom smiled, it was a beautiful and almost sincere smile and many of his Death Eaters chocked back their shock.

"It's alright, Harry…come in Harry…what did you hear?"

Harry entered the large room cautiously, his eyes sweeping around the room and finally through the two rows of Death Eaters.

He walked between the two rows and stopped in the middle, his eyes skipping around the masked figure. He felt something akin to fear grip as he saw those white masks, those black robes that seemed to blend into the darkness of the room. They stood rigid and menacing…like soldiers…like demons…

"Harry?" the call of his name snapped him out of his train of thought and his gaze went to Tom.

He smiled, "Sorry…I- I got there a moment before this big snake entered…"

"So you didn't hear anything?"

"No…" Harry said as he shook his head. His brows knitted together in confusion and Tom smiled at him, "It is best you do not hear what we say during these meetings, Harry…if you knew anything, that would make you a target…at least a bigger target than you already are, kitten…"

Harry nodded his head, all the while glancing towards his side and towards the figures standing there, "I…uhh…I understand…"

"Good, good…Harry," Harry's gaze once more landed on Tom. "Yeah?"

"Draco, Blaise and Theodore are here to see you…"

"Who?" Harry said with plain confusion.

"Them, love," Tom said as he pointed towards the three boys that stood in front of Harry, "They have been your friends since you arrived here. Draco and Theodore here are sons of two of my followers while Blaise here is a friend of Draco whose family agree with our views…"

"Oh…" Harry mumbled as he took in the three boys before him. He assumed they were his age although he couldn't quite remember his own age.

"Sorry…I can't really remember you guys but you seem familiar so…I must have known you, I hope I can remember you guys soon…"

Draco smirked, "Don't you worry, Harry…we're not people you can forget so easily…"

Harry felt that he could like this boy, if given the chance. The other two stood, especially the dark one, stood emotionless and rigid. Harry shifted uncomfortably.

Tom seemed to take note for he said almost warmly, "Harry, why don't you go and play with your friends? Take Nagini with you…"

Tom turned towards the snake and hissed, _watch them and remember what we spoke about, Nagini…_

_Yes, Master…_

Harry tilted his head as Tom spoke towards the snake. He could faintly hear hissing somewhere distant, underneath Tom's voice and the snake's.

The snake recoiled from the chair and her master and slithered down towards the boys. She raised her head and looked up to her Master's new…mate, _Come young one…we must leave Master to his business…_

"Alright…" Harry said, not realizing he had not spoken in English. He followed the snake that slithered towards the door and the three other boys followed him.

It was only when they were out of the door and only after a few minutes passed that Voldemort smirked and said softly, "Isn't he beautiful…" A laugh let his throat, it was high and cold and once more, a shiver run through the Death Eaters.

* * *

Hmm? So what'cha think?? Hmmm, I kinda liked this chapter, especially the little hints of Draco/Blaise. Sorry to disappoint those who don't like the minor pairings but they're staying…sigh

Blaise's mother is not a Death Eater and neither is Blaise. Truthfully, Blaise would never really join, but he went to because he promised Draco he "would be there for him." Also, Blaise knew about the previous meeting because Nott Sr. mentioned it to Theodore Nott and Blaise happened to be over Theo's house at that time.

**Why I picked those three**: well, I love Blaise don't know why, just do. -smile- and I've always liked the thought of Blaise/Draco and this idea came to me…-squeal- Usually, Blaise is described as this really hot Italian guy, now he's this hot, tall black boy with a bit of asian descendant.  
Theodore, I think is a pretty cool Slytherin. J.K. Rowling described him as "weedy-looking" and "a clever loner who does not feel the need to join gangs including Malfoy's".  
I like those cliches where Draco is "a good friend of Harry while he's staying/bonded with Voldemort." I'm going to give it a little twist 'cus I'm not making Draco this macho, manly boy. Nope, I want him to be able to relate to Harry and Harry will never be the dominant type in this fic seeing as Tom is his partner.

So yeah. Does this mean that I'm pretty much saying "screw you" to Ron and Hermione? No. Harry eventually will regain his memories and that's when he'll feel completely torn between his old life and his new life.

**Voldemort and Bellatrix**: Personally, I think she loves him, in a very sick, twisted, pathetic way. It like, I think she would let him fuck her even when he looked like an overgrown snake. shaking head

Anyway, Voldemort calls her "_Bella_" in the books and I try to make it so. I make it though that he calls her "Bellatrix" when he's annoyed at her. It may seem like he's annoyed at her constantly, but he knows her and knows if he lets her go on and protest, it'll be like having a banshee around. He appreciates her as a loyal servant and he would be hard pressed to kill her but…

P.S. If fanfiction(.)net is still breaking up lines and then having it appear one line down, tell me. It's annoying and it sometimes breaks up a word and then it confuses your guys, so tell me and i'll fix it!


	5. Azure

**-Love and Forget: These Loving Memories-  
By: Concubine99**

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Harry Potter or its context.

**Warning(s):** Slash, Amnesia, Sexual Context, Angst, **Mpreg**, Language, Underage -Harry's sixteen-

**Main Paring: **Tom Riddle(Voldemort)/Harry Potter

**Side Pairings**: Sirius/Remus, Severus/Lucius, Draco/Blaise, Ron/Hermione

**Summary: **Harry's memories are gone but he's gained an imaginary life, three 'friends' with their own drama and a lover- he calls him Tom but everyone else knows him as The Dark Lord Voldemort.

**Beta**: Like always, thank you Shadow-Ravin, my lovely beta!

**A/N**: Well, there are good hints of Severus/Lucius, Draco/Blaise and Theodore's parents. Anyway, please be patient. In the next two-three chapters, I'll mostly be creating relationships between people. But rest assured, you'll slowly be seeing changes in Tom. Let's see if you see any changes in this chapter in his character!

* * *

**Chapter Five-  
****Azure  
**_Like a clear sky, like the unreal memories of them_

--

Harry had followed the snake further and further away from what he mentally called the Throne Room, for he had noticed that large chair Tom was sitting, all the while wondering what to say to his suppose three best friends.

He could not remember anything about them although they seemed familiar, the blond one in particular.

_Young one…we will go to the garden… _the snake hissed.

_Alright…lead the way, please…umm-_

_Nagini…Master named me Nagini…_

"Nagini says she's taking us to the gardens," Harry mumbled. He was not sure if the three boys behind him heard him but he didn't want to repeat himself so he continued to follow the slithering animal towards the outside.

It was not a garden but more like a vast backyard that was a slice of heaven. Thick trees surrounded the grounds, enclosing it from the outside world. Inside the garden, there were plants scattered about and rows of rose bushes to the left and orchids flourishes wildly throughout. In the middle of the vast garden, there was a simple white table that seemed ancient along with its matching chairs and bench.

"Wow…" Harry whispered as he looked at view. He did not remember this place; he didn't even feel a slight déjà vu. Yet, he instantly fell in love with it.

"Let's go out to the table, k?" Harry whispered as he turned around to face the other three. The blond one, Draco, smiled at him almost warmly, "Sure…"

They made it to the table without trouble and sat down with Nagini curling herself around the chair Harry sat in, her head laying on his shoulder.

"So…" Harry said, not knowing what to say really. He fumbled with the ends of his sleeves all the while glancing from the three friends.

"So you've forgotten everything, huh?" Draco said with a tilt of his head. "Don't remember anything at all?"

"Well…I remember stupid things I guess. Hell if I know any spells or curses, although I did remember what a wand was…"

"So you don't remember about Hogwarts?" the lanky boy asked- Nott…Theodore.

"Hogwarts? What the bloody hell is that?" Harry said with a confused look and a slight frown.

Theodore smirked, "Uh, for a person who always groaned and moaned because they weren't allowed to attend Hogwarts, you sure seem like you wouldn't go near it with a ten foot pole."

Harry blushed, "Well, what is it?"

"It's a school. We, Blaise, Theo, and I, have attended it since we were eleven. It's a bit of a joke between the four of us because yearly, you practically begged the Dark Lord to let you go and he would always flat out refuse…"

"The Dark Lord…who's that? Tom?" Harry asked and his eyes widen and something close to panic entered his eyes, "Why would you call him-"

"Harry! Calm down!" Draco hissed. "Look, depending on who you ask, he's considered a Dark Lord. We've on a civil war, Harry. His followers were once called the Knights of Walpurgis, but as time went on and the civil war became more intense… The Daily Prophet –newspaper- sort of…changed the name. The followers are now called Death Eaters. The Dark Lord is feared and some see him as a…tyrant the reason why they call him the 'Dark Lord'. The Minister and the Order assume that if the general public fears him, they will not side with him and his power will not grow. That is why they spread lies. Propaganda is their best tool at times. They encourage people not to use his title so they refer to him as He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named or You-Know-Who. As a form of retaliation, we do not use his title either. We refer to him simply as the Dark Lord…you are the only exception really."

"What's this Order you're talking about?" Harry asked. Nagini hissed and shifted down more, her body hugging Harry's even more.

"Order of the Phoenix." Blaise spoke for the very first time. His voice was rough and low and Harry instantly liked it. It reminded him of something…a song…something deeply buried in his mind.

Harry titled his head in a manner that reminded the three of a kitten. "Order of the Phoenix…" he mumbled, the name rolling from his mouth pleasantly, "That- that doesn't seem like a bad name…"

Draco scowled, "That's because you always liked phoenixes. But you never liked the Order, especially whenever you read what they had the Daily Prophet write about the Dark Lord. You were furious that one time when they wrote the Death Eaters were the cause of a raid during the Quidditch World Cup-"

"What's Quidditch?"

"Merlin's Beard! You forgot about Quidditch too?" Theodore exclaimed, his pale eyes widening slightly, "Bloody hell, Harry!"

"It's a sport, Harry," Blaise mumbled as he glanced around the garden before his black eyes landed once more on Harry. "It was your favorite game. You would come over to Draco's house to play whenever you were allowed to."

"Allowed to?"

"The Dark Lord is…very protective of you, Harry. You are quite precious to him. At first, he tried to keep you a secret but the Order somehow found out and they've been trying to get their hands on you since. They managed to, and _**Merlin**_ was the Dark Lord scary during that week, but now that you're back, I doubt he'll be as…lenient as before."

"Oh…" Harry's brows knitted together, "So I can't leave?"

"Well…he used to take you around the world for vacations so you wouldn't be too bored but I'm not sure if he'll do that with you now…"

Harry's face fell and Draco quickly changed the subject. Last thing he needed was to upset the Dark Lord's new…yeah.

"Harry, why don't we talk about something else?"

"Oh, ok…Let's talk about you three…"

"Sure. What'cha wanna know?"

"How long have we been friends?"

"We've known each other since we were eleven."

"What do we do usually for fun?"

"Well, it depends. Whenever we come to visit during school break, you always ask us about Hogwarts. You sometimes play chess with me, never with Nott for he wipes the floor with everyone except Blaise, and you're not that good at it. We play games. You like Muggle games like…" he turned towards Blaise who rolled his eyes.

"Hide-and-go-seek and tag," Blaise said with a small twitch of his lips.

"Yeah, those," Draco mumbled as he leaned and placed his head against Blaise shoulder, "Blaise here knows everything. Even about Muggles…"

"What's a Muggle?" Harry asked, feeling a strong sense of déjà vu at the question.

"Non-magical folk," Theodore mumbled as he rolled his eyes and snorted in something close to amusement as he glanced towards Blaise and Draco.

Harry stared at them and titled his head. "You two together?"

Theodore chuckled loudly as Draco pulled away from Blaise as if he was iron hot. Harry blinked, suspecting he said something wrong.

Theodore's grin reminded him of a cat that got the canary, "You didn't say anything wrong. Blaise here wants nothing more to do then fuck our little blond and if it wasn't for the fact that Draco's daddy would slaughter him, they'd be in a broom closet right now."

"Shut it!" Draco hissed, the color on his pale cheeks somehow making him even more striking. "Don't listen to him, Harry. His mind is always in the gutter. Blaise and I are just friends."

"Sure," Harry said and even to him, it sounded heavily laced with sarcasm.

"We are not together!" Draco cried out, his eyes glancing towards Blaise who sat calmly, his black eyes staring ahead.

"Harry, you and I both knew that they like each other. Blaise here would do just about anything for the spoiled little prick. Last year for his birthday, Blaise took Draco to the Caribbean and bought him a bloody island!"

"It was a small island," Blaise said with a shrug, "He liked it there so I bought him a bit of land. Nothing special."

"Oh my god, you're in love with him!" Harry said with a grin.

Blaise shrugged, "I've never denied it."

Harry let off something close to a squeal and he clapped his hands in front of him. He felt something for those two and he thought they looked…_right_ together.

Theodore smirked. "You may have forgotten Harry, but you and I have been trying almost everything to get them together. We were actually thinking of locking them in a closet…"

"Thanks," Draco mumbled sarcastically as he ran a hand through his hair. His gray eyes seemed almost blue in the sunlight and there was a certain emotion in them.

Harry sudden felt very uncomfortable, as if there was something he did not know that was very important.

"Draco? Are you alright?"

"Yes, just thinking…" Draco said as he snapped out of his thinking. His eyes glanced towards Blaise once more before they landed on Harry, "Just thinking about my mother and father…"

"Who are they?"

"Lucius and Narcissa Malfoy."

"Did I once like them?"

"…You barely knew my mother but you…respected and liked, I guess, my father. We never talked about it so I can't be sure."

"Oh, what about your parents, Theo?"

"My father you've met simply because he is a Death Eater but you guys don't really talk. My other parent, you get along with him."

"Him?" Harry said with a tilt of his head. He felt something, a thought or knowledge clawing at the back of his head but he could not reach it-

"Hmm…you forgot about anatomy as well?" Theodore asked with a small frown. He doubted Harry Potter knew much about the difference between Wizard and Muggle anatomy, but he felt that if "Harry" was raised by Wizards, especially by the Dark Lord, then he most definitely would have known.

"Male Wizards, unlike male Muggles, are built slightly different. We have more…space and our Natural Magic- the magic that resides within us, around us- allows male Wizards to become pregnant among other unrelated things."

"Oh…so you're other parent is male?" Harry asked with a tilt of his head.

"Yes," Theodore said, his hands running throw his hair. It was rare for him to speak about his dad. His dad, Celino Nott was a pureblood of Spaniard descent, but for many generations, his family had lived with a group of traveling Gypsies. His dad had been next in line as Leader of the group when his father met him.

He rolled his neck, the tension there bothering him.

"What's his name?"

"Celino."

"Celino…that's a nice name. I like it."

"It means heaven," Theodore said. For some reason, he felt an instant like for the green-eyed boy. He felt his lips curl into a smile- a sincere smile and he noticed Harry mimicked.

Harry turned towards Blaise. "What about you, Blaise?"

"My father is a pureblood, and so is my mother. He is a prince of a Wizarding Society in Africa, unplottable and completely isolated. Not many wizards know of it but those who do, seek it for its wealth and beauty. My mother was born to an English Wizard and Japanese maiden, a sorceress."

"What's the difference between a sorceress and a witch?"

"Different type of magic," Blaise mumbled as he shrugged once more. He did not know why he told the boy so truthfully his family. Yet there was something calming about the boy. Was he always like this, or has the Golden Boy of Gryffindor been shattered and all that reminded was this new boy?

"Hmm, how you said it, your parents aren't together, are they?"

"No. I live with my mother but I see my father more than her. She is often busy with her newest husband."

"So she gets remarried a lot, huh?"

"Every time they die, yes," Blaise said as he leaned back and brought a foot on the bench, his arms circling loosely around his leg.

"Oh," Harry mumbled, shifting suddenly uncomfortably. "Maybe she's just trying to keep herself from feeling lonely."

Blaise stared at the boy with a hint of disbelief. Did the concept of his mother murdering her husbands just go completely over his head? Did he actually think her an innocent victim of bad luck? He glanced towards Draco who was staring at the Potter boy with something close to amusement. They shared a private glance before their gaze fell back towards the green-eyed boy.

"Perhaps," Blaise finally mumbled. He received a smile, a rather charming and beautiful smile.

"Well, Draco, what about you?" Harry asked. He liked this. He was regaining the knowledge he had lost. These were his best friends, he once knew almost everything about them, and they knew almost everything about him. He wanted to remember everything, all their secrets, all their memories…and if he couldn't remember, he wanted to know.

"I already told you-"

"You told me the name of your parents. Tell me more!" Harry said with a mulish expression on his almost too pretty face.

Draco frowned. What was there to say? Why would he want- oh…that's right. The young blond felt something close to pity swell in his chest. He didn't remember anything; he was basically in a strange world, with strangers as friends and a lover. Of course he wanted to know everything he could, what he thought he was _supposed_ to know.

"My mother and father love me. They are both from here; my mother comes from a prestigious pureblood family, the Blacks, and my father from an even more prestigious family, the Malfoys. Their parents arranged their marriage when they were seventeen."

"Were they in love?" Harry asked as he tilted his head. Black…why did that sound so-

"It did not matter," Draco mumbled and his eyes seemed to gain a sad haze to them, "The Malfoys wanted a respectful and pureblood bride for their son and the Blacks wanted a successful family for their daughter to belong to. What my mother and father wanted was not part of the arrangement."

"So they didn't. They didn't love each other."

"They care for one another."

"That's not the same as loving."

"No, it isn't but we all can't have the same luck as you and the Dark Lord, now can we?" Draco spit out and his grey eyes were cold and silver. Harry flinched and Draco's cold eyes seem to melt.

"I'm sorry. I- you already knew everything so you never really had to ask. I guess I'm just not use to people asking, for no one ever does."

"It's ok. It's not my business," Harry mumbled, all of a sudden rather coy.

"You have the right to know. This was information you knew at a time. I shouldn't have snapped at you."

"We're just a little tense, Harry," Theodore mumbled as he rubbed his eyes all the while trying to give a reassuring smile. He wasn't sure if he succeeded. "Let's talk about something else, alright?"

"Sure," Harry said, trying to smile as well. "Those robed figures, those were the Death Eaters?"

"Yes."

"They are…frightening…"

Blaise titled his head in a manner that reminded Harry of a raven, "They do look rather terrifying. It is their formal…uniform. Do not worry, you never truly liked it and Tom found it amusing how you often disliked talking to any Death Eaters who were dressed like that. You often times asked them to remove at the very least their mask."

"Really? And they would? Just like that? Because I asked them?"

"You are the Dark Lord's lover. They better listen," Draco said with a scowl.

"They seem to revere Tom a lot…"

"Power demands respect, Harry. You do not know just how powerful the Dark Lord is…"

"I'm not saying they don't respect him, but it seems like many of them fear him."

"Harry, please do not ask us such things about…him. These questions are for him to answer. Not us."

"Why?" Harry asked with a frown and a glint of anger, "Why can't I know?"

"I'm not saying you can't know, but it would be best if we were not the ones to talk about this sort of thing with you. Please, Harry. We cannot take the same liberties that you can with our Lord. Think of it in this sense, a servant does not speak ill nor take certain liberties with a King that a Queen can."

Harry's frown deepened but he decided he would let the subject drop until he could speak with Tom in private. "Alright, let's talk about-"

There was a 'pop' and there stood a small creature with large, tennis ball sized eyes and big pointy ears. Harry let a sound that resembled a shriek and a gasp at the sight of it. What the hell-

"Harry, calm down. It's just a house-elf."

"A house-elf…?" Harry mumbled as he saw took in the small…house-elf.

"Yes," Draco mumbled before turning his attention to the house-elf. "What do you want?"

"Master of house wants other Master to come back inside!"

"Me?" Harry asked with a questioning look towards Draco who simply rolled his eyes.

"No, me," he replied sarcastically as he stood up. Theodore sighed as he stood up, his neck still hurting him along with his lower back but he ignored it. Blaise stood in one fluid motion and Harry was instantly envious of his grace.

Nagini hissed something into Harry's ear and Harry nodded all the while answering in a simple hiss. The large snake uncoiled and slithered onto the ground where she waited for her newest charge.

The other three were staring at him with something close to awe. Harry stared at them in confusion. "What?"

"It's always startling to see such a gift used," Blaise mumbled.

"What gift?"

"Don't tell me you actually think everyone can talk to snakes, Harry," Draco said as he rolled his eyes. They walked leisurely towards the large manor all the while Nagini following.

"You mean Wizards can't?"

"Of course not. That is a very rare gift, Harry. The only other Parselmouth besides you is-"

"Tom," Harry mumbled, remembering how Tom spoke to Nagini earlier.

"Yes, the Dark Lord."

They entered inside and there stood Lord Voldemort with their parents (except of course, Blaise's) and Severus Snape.

"Harry, why don't you go to our rooms? I must speak with our three friends for a moment," Tom said with a smile. His red eyes were pleasantly warm and Harry could sense the man was quite happy.

"About what?" Harry asked with a frown, "Can't I stay?"

"No," Tom said as he placed his hands on Harry's shoulder. His red eyes stared into emerald green, "You cannot stay here, Harry. You must return to our room and stay there. Take Nagini with you."

Harry's green eyes narrowed and a mulish expression marked his face. He felt like Tom was going against his back and anger swept through his whole body. This anger, it felt so familiar and he had the impression that he had been angry with Tom before, frequently perhaps. He didn't like the thought of him being a prisoner in his own home.

"Why do I get the impression you're going behind my back, Tom?" Harry asked and his voice was barely above a whisper.

Tom's red eyes narrowed and they seem to turn into black slits, "Because you're being an idiot, Harry. They may be your friends but they are also in my service. I can speak with them without your permission or without you being present."

Harry's anger simply rose and his magic crackled in the air. The vase left of him cracked and then burst into small pieces, shattering everywhere. Tom's grip on Harry's shoulder tightened almost painfully, "Harry," he hissed.

Harry ripped himself from the grasp, "Fine!" he spat and something else shattered. He turned on his heal and walked down the hall, Nagini following closely.

Voldemort watched the brat go and felt his own anger rise, ruining his good mood. That- that damn BRAT!

He released a breath between his teeth and it came out like a hiss. He was not facing his followers but in a quick motion, he was. He glared at them with dark, angry eyes and they immediately shifted their gaze someplace else.

"Well?" He snapped towards the three boys in front of him. His arms crossed in front of him as he stood impatiently, his stance stolid and tense.

Draco bowed his head, "We have much to tell you, My Lord-"

"Did he believe you?" Voldemort asked. He did not want to stand there, hearing all the details. That was what a Pensive was for.

"Yes. I believe he did."

"For your sake you best hope so," he mumbled. His gaze shifted towards Snape, "Severus, take them to my study and have them dump their memory of the conversation in it. They are to leave with their parents after that." He turned swiftly and that was their dismissal.

Severus turned towards the three, "What the hell did you say to the boy?!"

"Nothing to get him so riled up, that's for sure!" Draco hissed as he risked a glance down the hall Voldemort and Harry had just taken.

Severus ran a hand through his hair, making a mental note to cut it. He knew he wouldn't though. He rarely did. "His emotions are beginning to surface. I hope the Dark Lord is prepared to have a boy who's about as emotional as a three months-pregnant woman."

Nott Sr. snorted amusingly at that, "Severus, Severus. Why so cynical?"

Severus merely sent him a quick glare before his attention went back towards the three boys, "Come, we must go to his study and get those memories into the Pensive." He turned and they followed him towards the study.

Nott watched them go and even when he could no longer see them, he still waited for more than a few minutes before he spoke. "Well, isn't that suspicious. The Dark Lord seems to be favoring Severus lately…"

"Are you trying to imply something, Nott?" Lucius mumbled as he glanced towards the other Death Eater.

"Me? I would never dare to imply anything about your little firefly, Lucius," Nott mumbled with a grin in his words. Malfoy let out a hiss as his hands clenched.

Nott raised his hands in a show of surrender. "Easy, now, Lucius. I was merely jesting…" Nott said although his voice was still just as mocking as before.

"How's Celino?" Lucius asked abruptly, "I hear he injured himself dancing and entertaining the people in Diagon Alley the other day."

"That is none of your concern," Nott mumbled, without a trace of its usual mocking but filled with something close to irritation.

"You're right. That fact that you cannot control that wild spouse of yours is no concern of mine," Lucius said.

"Wild spouse? You speak of him as if he were a werewolf!"

"His blood may be pure but he acts more like a damn Gypsy than a wizard. Dancing, singing, not an ounce of dignity or restraint!"

"Restraint? You dare talk about restraint?! How many times have you fucked your little firefly only to come to the room you share with Narcissa and tell her you will never again screw-"

"That's enough!" Severus muttered but it echoed. His eyes were narrowed splits of black and his face hard. "Bickering and acting like children. If you're going to take pity shots at each other, you might as well use your fists and mud."

He glance at Nott, "Mind your own business Nott," he glared at Lucius, "and watch what you say, Lucius. Both of you apologize and take your children back home."

Lucius opened his mouth to retort and undoubtedly so did Nott but Snape's expression seemed to darkened. Nott and Malfoy glanced at each other before an awkward mumble left their lips that was a sad excuse of an apology.

Snape nodded curtly, "Good. Take your children and go," he murmured. Draco and Theodore walked towards their respective fathers, a small smirk curling their lips. It was an amusing sight to see their fathers being scolded by their Professor as if they were children.

They left, leaving the Hogwarts Professor and Blaise. "Let's go, Mr. Zabini. I will be taking you home."

"Thank you Professor. Thank you for bringing me as well…" Blaise mumbled as Snape placed his hand on Blaise's shoulder.

"It was no problem, Mr. Zabini. You were here for my godson. You will always have my support and help if it concerns the wellbeing of Draco."

"Even if I asked you to go against Mr. Malfoy?" Blaise asked softly. "What if I asked Draco to marry me? Would you speak in favor of me?"

Severus looked towards the boy with dark, glittering eyes. "Firstly Mr. Zabini, I suggest you focus on obtaining Draco's consent to a relationship other than friendship before you speak of marriage. Secondly, if Draco was to ever want to marry you and you made him happy and loved him and were good _for_ him, I would give you my blessing and help Draco…sway Lucius's opinion of you."

A small grin curled Blaise's lips and Snape was mildly surprised. Zabini was not known for showing emotions, he was known for his lack of. "Draco cares for me and if he wasn't so afraid of disappointing his father…" he shook his head as if he was trying to disperse an ugly thought. "I'll be holding you to what you just said, Professor."

"Hmm," Snape hummed. They stood outside the wards and with an image in mind, they apparated.

* * *

How dare that little brat act like that, especially in front of his subordinates! How humiliating! Damn, he had barely controlled the urge to curse that little twerp! He could not remember the last time someone else had spoken to him like that, only Harry Bloody Potter! Only he would dare-

He closed his eyes, all the while mentally counting down from ten. He could not enter his room angry. If he did, he would undoubtedly lose control and his plans would be flushed down the gutter. That boy…that boy…why must he be so difficult!? Why can't he be a good little- why can't he just be like most of his servants? Nod their heads and do whatever he said without question…oh yeah…because he thought Voldemort _loved_ him. And of course the bloody idiot translates that into him having the-the right to go against him, Lord Voldemort!

He breathed in and counted down from ten once more. It seemed like he miscalculated…the boy had too much fire…to much…he needs to find a way to…smother him…cool him…

He opened the door and entered his room. Harry was not there. He frowned, mentally wondering if perhaps the boy had not listened and had just continued to roam the manor. Didn't he know- _fuck!_ Of course the bloody idiot didn't know just how danger this manor was…

His frown turned into a sneer, intent on finding Harry when he heard something fall. He turned around and catching sight of the bathroom door, suddenly realized where the boy was. He walked towards the door and listened for any noise.

_He's a bastard!_

_You must not speak like that about Master!_

_But he's being a jerk! He's not telling me anything and he's always rushing me out of places! Don't I live here too?_

…_Yes…yes…but this is still Master's dwelling! You must be respectful! Respectful!_

_I'm not apologizing to him! I won't! I won't! I won't!_

Having enough, Voldemort opened the door to reveal the young wizard on the floor, his back against the tub and Nagini curled up next to him.

"Harry, I must speak to you…"

Harry looked up at him and his green eyes were fixed into a glare but what caught Voldemort's attention was that the boy's eyes were moist and…swollen…and red.

The boy had been _crying_.

"Harry…" Tom murmured as he walked into the bathroom. He kneeled down next to the boy and despite Harry's protest, lifted him up and brought him into their room and on the bed, "Harry, love…I'm sorry I yelled at you."

"I'm still mad at you!" Harry said against Tom's chest. Tom felt his lips twitch at the muffled sentence for it was said in such a small voice that he was instantly reminded of a kitten's meow.

"I know and you have every right to be," Tom continued as he patted Harry on the back. Harry pulled away and glared, "Are you being condescending?"

"Of course not," Tom said with modest red eyes. Harry felt his anger slowly fade until there was none left. He leaned his head against Tom's chest and could feel Tom's heart beating in a constant rhythm.

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have yelled at you like that…I just- I just go so angry for some reason…"

"You always did have a fiery spirit," Tom mumbled. He had not meant to say it but he did and he felt the boy shift against him. Green eyes looked up at him.

"Did we fight often?" Harry asked with wide green eyes. Tom was silent for a moment to too long and Harry began to fidget.

"You and I…clashed but our fights never caused too much damage," Tom said slowly. For some reason, he felt he should best try to keep as honest as possible. He could not tell the boy that he was a mellow person who never talked back or never fought with him. He would not act that way, even with his memories gone. And there was always the possible chance that the boy would feel something was amiss and then he would go searchin-

He made a quick mentally note to make any book containing any dangerous truths unavailable to the boy…

"Hmm…what did we fight about?" Harry asked with a tilt of his head. Tom raised an eyebrow, "You wish for me to list every reason for all our fights?"

"Well you don't have to list all of them, "Harry grumbled with a frown, "Just a couple. The main reasons."

Tom stared down at the boy unblinkingly before a sigh broke through him, "How about this, Harry. You rest, it's been a long day; you've been walking all about and used your magic accidently. You can't be doing these sorts of things without taking your potion; it puts unnecessary stress on your heart-"

"But-"

"Rest please, love, at least for a couple hours. If you do that, I promise we will lie down here and I will tell you anything you want." Harry stared at him with open eyes, his doubt and uncertainly clearly shining in his eyes, as was his wish to continue, to protest. Tom leaned down and kissed him softly and it lasted for only a moment before Tom pulled a breath away from his lips. When he noticed those lips open once more so as to perhaps protest, Tom claimed them once more.

His tongue pushed passed those pursed lips and swept into the moist cavern. Harry's chest tightened at the sensation, his breath was stolen and for a second, he was paralyzed. But that was only for a second. His arms coyly rose and wrapped around Tom's neck, his fingers brushing against thick tresses. He moaned into the kiss as it was deepened, his mind for once not shadowy or prickling but so calm and quiet that he doubted he was awake.

But then Tom began to pull away. His tongue swept once more over the moist cavern, brushed against his teeth –which caused shivers to run through Harry for some odd reason- and their lips parted with a small noise that sounded funny to Harry. His eyes opened slowly but they had yet to lose its glaze appearance.

Harry's tongue peeked out of his lips and he moistened his already wet lips, "Hmmm…" he mumbled. His fingers continued to brush and play with the tresses they had found. Tom chuckled, "You're too adorable…"

The comment snapped Harry out of his haze and his green eyes seemed to sharpened. "You were trying to distract me!"

"Did it work?"

"No!" Harry said although it came out slightly cracked. Tom simply smiled down at him and eventually Harry could not fight back his own grin, "Alright, so it distracted me for a little bit!"

Tom chuckled. "What am I going to do with you, my little angel?"

Harry shrugged, "I don't know."

"That was a rhetorical question," Tom said sarcastically with a roll of his eyes. Yet the smile did not leave his lips. Harry giggled as he buried his face into Tom's chest.

They stayed that way until Tom pulled away. "Harry…I have to go, please stay here and rest. I will talk to you when I return, alright?"

"You promise?" Harry said with a serious stare and Tom felt a feeling of déjà vu sweep him.

"Yes, I promise," he mumbled as he kissed Harry on the forehead. Harry's expression softened, "Alright! But you better come back soon!"

"As soon as I can, but you better still be sleeping when I come back…" Tom said with a mock stare that was completely ruined when he smiled down at the boy gently.

Harry simply giggled as he caught Tom's grin, "Hmm…alright…"

Tom pulled away and with a small hiss, left the room with Nagini trailing behind him. Harry leaned back against the bed, his head for some reason, starting to hurt. He rubbed his head with the palm of his hands, his eyes closing. He had not notice just how tired he had been.

He mumbled something against the pillow as he fell asleep. He dreamed of bouncing ferrets, roaring dragons and a friendly snake that spoke behind a glass box.

* * *

**Next Chapter: **Tom "wooing" Harry, Blaise and Draco; Theo and Celino, his dad; Lucius visits Severus and the world learns of Harry's disappearance. Also, Harry begins his lessons with Severus and begins taking his potion!

Anyway, thanks guys for all your reviews! Reviews are what keep me going, the more reviews, the quicker I want to update! So review and tell me what you think, unless you're a jerk and just wanna be mean and post a flame. -smile-

Also, i know I've said that the sides pairing won't be like huge parts of the story but that I meant by that was that it wasn't going to be a major focus. It may seems like I'm paying them a little too much attention but that's simply because I'm setting up characters and past for them.

but yeah, remember...**REVIEW**!! I can last weeks without updating all the while writing chapters... -smirk- It's a pet peeve of me when a huge amount of people put me on their alert/favorite lists without leaving a review. Doing that once or twice is fine but when just about everyone that reads this story does it, then it just annoys me. Anyway, sorry for that little rant!


	6. Yellow

**-Love and Forget: These Loving Memories-  
By: Concubine99**

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Harry Potter or its context.

**Warning(s):** Slash, Amnesia, Sexual Context, Angst, **Mpreg**, Language, Underage -Harry's sixteen-

**Main Paring: **Tom Riddle(Voldemort)/Harry Potter

**Side Pairings**: Sirius/Remus, Severus/Lucius, Draco/Blaise, Ron/Hermione,

**Summary: **Pairings: TMHP; SBRL; LMSS; BZDM; RWHG; Warning: Mpreg,-Other Warnings inside-. Harry's memories are gone but he's gained an imaginary life with three friends who have their own drama and a lover- a Tom who's known by the world as the Dark Lord Voldemort.

**Beta**: Who else but the lovely Shadow-Ravin!

**Dedicated to**: phoenixmaiden20 because she is such a lovely reviewer and I love her story!

**A/N**: The scene with Celino and Theodore, they occasionally speak Spanish. The translation is at the end of the scene, right before the next scene! Sorry for the inconvenience!

* * *

**Chapter Five-  
****Yellow  
**_Like a canary, like our twisted cages_

_--_

It was dark and chilly for such a summer night. The wind was like a caress from cold fingers as he walked down the grey and empty streets, his destination in mind. He did not like this place; it reminded him of some dark murky cellar, of an abandoned basement, yet he continued on, the designated street within sight.

He could hear the foxes –he knew it was foxes from past experiences- running and shifting along, most likely trying to find food, anything to survive. He came to the familiar street, his eyes sweeping up to take in the towering mill chimney all the while a distasteful sneer curled his lips. He walked past the broken and seemingly abandoned houses, his footsteps a repetitive soft clicking but then he arrived at the last house. It was in a better shape than the others but not by much and he felt his displeasure rise, as it often did when he saw the house.

He stood at the front door, his eyes glancing towards the window near him, noticing the warm light that escaped between the flowing curtains. He brought his hand towards the door and knocked three times –as he always did- and then brought his hand towards his side as if repulsed by the door itself.

He stood there for only a few moments before he could here shifting behind the door and then suddenly, with a small click, the door was opened a crack.

Obsidian eyes widen only a fraction in something resembling surprise before they narrowed, "Lucius…what are you doing here?"

"Can't a friend come in visit?"

"I'm not the type of person to have friends or friendly visits…" Severus muttered, the door still barely open and his eyes shifting as if the sight of the Malfoy head was too irritating.

"Either way, will you be so rude as to let your visitor stand outside? It is a rather chilly night…"

Severus' eyes rolled towards the ceiling. "I've never been a polite person, Lucius. I would let you stand there and freeze for all I care." Yet despite what he said, the door was opened further and Severus stepped aside so as to let him inside the house.

Lucius stepped directly into the small living room. Nothing had changed from the last time he had been here. The walls were still covered in tomes and scrolls – many of which he suspected cost a hefty amount of Galleons- and at the center of the living room there was still the two armchairs and the sofa along with the sturdy looking table.

"Well? What do you want? I'm assuming there was a point to your visit?" Severus said as he went pass Lucius and towards a door towards the left. The door had been left open and Lucius knew the room was Severus' private laboratory. He followed the dark-haired man down the four steps and into the small room.

He noticed a potion brewing. "Were you busy?" he asked as he watched Severus trail his fingers across the small vials that rested on shelves. He suspected he was looking for something specific.

"Define busy," Severus said with a quick glance towards where Lucius stood. Lucius merely titled his head to the side and his grey eyes seemed to darken as they continued to drill into Severus. Severus sighed, "Not particularly. I had just finished taking a shower when you knocked…"

Lucius' gaze fell on Severus' hair. It was starting to reach the middle of his back but it was wet, water still dripping and soaking his white plain shirt.

Lucius remembered their Hogwarts years and how a nasty rumor had started that Severus didn't wash his hair. Of course he knew that wasn't true. Severus just spent too much time brewing potions and he could not always wash his hair after every brewing, sometimes he had to wait a few hours and those damn bloody Marauders had not helped the situation. The Malfoy patriarch felt his blood boil beneath his skin as he remembered the four Gryffindors, but he felt something close to glee as he recalled some of his…retaliations. Of course he had never told Severus but he suspected the dark-haired Slytherin had always known.

He felt his fingers curl around silky strands and was surprised for he had not noticed when he moved. He felt Severus stiffen. "What are you doing?"

"You haven't cut your hair in a while…"

"I've been meaning too."

"Hmm…I've always loved your hair…"

Severus snorted in something close to mocking. He pulled away, his fingers around a small green vial. Lucius let the strands leave his hand without protest and he noticed how the tension left the dark-haired man.

"If only James Potter or Black were to hear you now. Complementing Snivellus' hair…" Severus said with another snort as he added the content of the green vial into the cauldron. He felt something tightened within his chest as old memories flashed in his minds and he swiftly cut them off, he crushed the growing pleasure he felt at Lucius' complement as well.

The potion hissed and began to bubble. Severus brought his wand over the cauldron and with a small flick of his wrist he cast a timer spell to alert him of when the next step was to be taken, and rearranged it so the temperature would stay constant.

"You have until the timer runs out, Lucius," Severus said as they walked back into the small living room. He approached the wooden cabinet at a small distance away and opened the glass door.

"What do you wish to drink?"

"You know what I like," Lucius mumbled as he removed his outer robes and placed them on the armchair.

"Scotch, brandy, old red wine, vodka or sake on occasions," Severus recited in a small, low voice as if lost in thought. He pulled out two glasses and a beautiful decanter that he got from Dumbledore years ago. "I'm in the mood for scotch."

"That's fine," Lucius said as he continued to look around the living room, his eyes obtaining a distasteful glint.

"Something the matter?" Severus asked as he served him a cup and then sat down on the other armchair across from Lucius.

"Why do you insist on staying here?" Lucius asked abruptly with a look of pure annoyance entering his light eyes.

Severus stared at him and an eyebrow rose. "You speak as if I have somewhere else to go. I do not recall buying any property nor do I remember inheriting anything and seeing as I have no relatives that could leave me anything, I find the thought of obtaining any such inheritance absurd."

"The Willow Mansion?" Lucius asked with a small sneer, his eyes darkening. His grip on his glass tightened momentarily before it loosened and he took a sip.

"That is not my property," Severus said testy, his eyes shifting around, anywhere but where Lucius sat.

"I bought that property for you, so you can leave this place!" Lucius hissed, his eyes narrowing into angry splits of raw silver.

"It is still not my home," Severus said through barely pursed lips, "This, this is my home. That mansion is yours and I do not want it. Is this why you came here for?"

Lucius ignored the question. "I do not like this place for you! You deserve-"

"I deserve what I have, nothing more, nothing less," Severus said with something flickering in his bottomless black eyes. "Give the mansion to Draco. He will be leaving Malfoy Manor soon enough…"

"Soon enough? I think not. He is sixteen years old. Has only been for a couple weeks. He is not old enough to even be thinking of such things…" Lucius said with a scowl. Severus felt his lips twitch in amusement.

"You are too protective," Severus said slowly. "If you continue like that, he might rebel."

"Rebel? My son? Obviously you have forgotten how my Draco is! He-"

"Loves Blaise Zabini."

Lucius' frown seemed to darken, "Do not speak that name in my presence! That- that-"

"He is a fine boy," Severus said with twinkling eyes, "He comes from a prestigious background-"

"-That mother of his is nothing but a flimsy backstabbing whore-"

"- He is also quite intelligent, cunning and he spoils Draco as much as you," Severus continued over Lucius' little tirade.

"He is not good enough for my Draco. His father rules over a Society completely isolated. His mother is a whore who seduces, marries and then kills husbands on a rate most change shoes. I do not like him."

"You do not like anyone who shows interest in Draco. The only difference is you can't get rid of Blaise like you often do with other suitors."

"Is that a challenge I hear, Severus?" Lucius said with a raised eyebrow and a small smirk.

"A challenge? Hmm…no. I am merely stating my opinion. He seems like a good boy…" Severus said with a tutting noise and a sip of his drink. "But without your blessing, you are right; Draco would be unlikely to give him a chance."

There was silence in the room as Severus stared into the alcohol that reflected the dim light of the fire crackling in the fireplace all the while Lucius stared at him with open grey eyes.

"You were always good at that," Lucius said with steady eyes. Severus looked up, his black eyes meeting Lucius'. "What are you talking about?"

"Even with the older Slytherin. You could twist your words and have them rambling about something else insignificantly. They would forget whatever they were saying to you and would only remember when you were long gone. I know you enough Severus to know when you're using that silver tongue of yours."

Severus's face was warm and he fought down the blush he knew was beginning to stain his cheeks as he shifted underneath the heated gaze. Even after all these years, Lucius still knew how-

"I would like it very much if you would move to Willow Mansion. It is in a better area-"

"Near Malfoy Manor," Severus said with a pained expression. "Please, Lucius. Do not do this to me. I am not like you. I cannot disregard this; I am betraying Narcissa's trust! And Draco's!"

"She knew what she was getting into!" Lucius hissed bitterly. How many times have they had this conversation? How many times have they hissed and bickered over the past and it always ended the same.

"She should have never agreed to it! If she had just said no-"

"Like you did!" Severus growled as he stood up and glared at the blond. "Don't blame this fucked up situation on Narcissa!"

"And give my father a reason to go after you with a dagger and his wand?!" Lucius hissed. How many times had he said those words?

"I could have taken care of myself! You do not have to take care of me!" Severus screamed, his face burning red as his eyes flickered with irritation.

"If it wasn't that bloody father of yours, it was the damn Marauders. If it wasn't someone from the other Houses, it was someone in Slytherin! I couldn't afford to add my father to the list!"

"Then why are we having this discussion? It is in the past and it is useless to dwell on such thoughts!" Severus said as he placed his glass down and started towards his laboratory.

"Because you constantly defend her! You always side with her!"

"You always blame her as if it was her fault! It does not all fall on her shoulders!"

"Not all perhaps but I can assure you, a good sum does!" Lucius hissed as he grabbed Severus by the forearm and swung him around so as to face him. "She knew! She knew how I felt about you and yet she went and told her mother she wished to marry me! I will always care for her because she is the mother of my child. She gave me Draco and I will forever feel I sense of gratitude for that but she- I will always feel this sense of resentment for her whenever you pull away from me and utter her name as an excuse!"

"She is not an excuse! She is a friend!"

"And she is my wife! See how much I care for such titles and social positions?!"

"Typical of you! I am not like you, Lucius! I cannot-" Lucius did not give him time to say anything else for his lips crushed against the brunet's. Severus stiffened and pushed against Malfoy Sr. but his struggles weakened until he was no longer struggling, his arms wrapping around Lucius' neck as he submitted. He always did in the end.

"If anyone should feel guilty, it is her," Lucius mumbled as he pulled away from Severus' lips. "I-I cannot give you up, little firefly…and I won't. I tried already and that was the worst year of my life and I only survived it because Draco had been born. Please do not do this to me…"

"Selfish," Severus muttered as his eyes closed, his head resting against Lucius' chest. His eyes stung. "But no matter what you say to me, you still apologize to her, just like Nott said."

"I never apologize to her for loving you or for being with you. I apologize for causing her pain." Lucius said as he held Severus' face in his hands, "We do this every time. We argue, we fight, we reminisce and then you cry. It all ends the same way. It's been seventeen years…enough."

"Lucius-"

"Enough," Lucius snapped, "You're staying at Willow Mansion, even if I have to drag you there and lock you up."

"The Dark Lord wouldn't like that. I am to be Harry Potter's teacher…"

Lucius' eyes narrowed, "This game you play is dangerous."

Severus' gaze shifted to the wall, "I have no idea what you are talking about"

"I hope being Dumbledore's lackey is worth risking your life."

"I'm not like you, Lucius…I can't just disregard things," Severus said, his dark eyes drilling into Lucius'.

Lucius simply smiled. He had come so as to stop this little ritual of denial and years worth of tension. For some reason, he felt he had accomplished something.

* * *

_Master…the boy is…troublesome…the boy is…unruly…_

_I'm aware of that._

Voldemort poured himself a drink, the pensive on his desk and Nagini curled around his chair. He had seen the memories and was pleased with the three younger wizards' performance although there were little things he would have…not said.

He sipped at his drink trying to form his little story in his mind. For a moment, he had thought Potter would insist on being told, but he hadn't. Tom made sure he fell asleep the moment he left the room. He did not want the boy up, contemplating.

Damn it all to hell. Why did he want to do this again? He rubbed his temples, still thinking of his little lie. Well, it wasn't so little. He had to find a way to cool that boy down…he could not have such defiance. But at the same time, he could do nothing that would make himself seem like anything else but the loving lover. If the boy got suspicious, he might go snooping, asking questions. Anything could give it away.

He had to restrict the books the boy would be able to read and the people he was aloud to speak to. The Death Eaters must not be allowed to speak at length with Harry for they would not always know what was right to say and what would be damaging.

_Is this wise…Master…keeping the boy as your mate…_

_He is not my mate…he will never be my mate…I just need him to believe he is…_

_That is a dangerous plan Master…dangerous…_

Voldemort shrugged. _Most things are Nagini…_

_What will you do now…Master…_

_Simple…I will woo him…he will love me and will never doubt me…_

* * *

He could hear the sounds of music and laughter from the small ballroom. He felt a worried frown tug his lips as he quickened his steps, his initial destination changed. The doors to the smaller of the two ballrooms located in his house were open and there in the center of the room were people that his father would no doubt hex into oblivious if he came upon them.

They were in something resembling a circle; some standing while others kneeled or sat on the cold marble floor. The drums, violins, guitars, and flutes were played with skill and passion that was rare and it filled the room. Even those playing swayed slightly to the music, their faces of joy and freedom. In the middle of the almost closed circle of people were the true dancers. Most of the dancers were women although there were four men, two tall and broad men -one more than the other- and two agile men who danced almost as agilely and sensually as the women. Yet all of them, even the broad men, danced gracefully and confidently. Dancing fluidly, twirling and shifting to the beat of the music, was a thin, angular man with long black hair and eyes so pale that they seemed almost white. His face beamed with joy and Theodore felt a tug of pain realizing that the expression would not last long. He walked towards the group in quick steps and the music died down as they caught sight of him.

"_Papá_!" he hissed as he grabbed his hand. "What are they doing here?!"

Those pale eyes obtained a sad gleam before they sharpened and a frown tugged Celino's lips, "Theo, _hijito_, please…they were just visiting…"

"Damn it, _papá_! Get them out!" Theodore said as he gestured towards the people with his hands.

"Theodore," Celino mumbled with something that resembled a glare except Celino never glared at his son. "Do not be rude. They are my guest-"

"If father comes home and sees them, the last of their problems will be my rudeness!" he turned towards the people, for he could not stand his dad's crestfallen expression.

"_Por favor váyanse_!" he yelled and the people shifted, their expressions one of sadness. They bowed towards him and many of them walked towards his father and hugged him or kissed his chastely on the cheek.

They shifted around the room, grabbing their instruments and other little trinkets before they disappeared without apparition. He felt a shudder run through him, as he always did when they used their magic around him.

He turned towards his dad. "_Papá_, I'm sorry…you know- you know I would let them stay if it was up to me, but father…"

"I know, _mi __corazón_," Celino mumbled as he kneeled down on the floor and Theo joined him. Celino opened his arms in invitation. Theo smiled a small smile as his dad's arms encircled him, his head tucked under his sharp chin.

"Did you have fun?" Theo asked as he played with a stand of his dad's hair. His dad laughter was like bells. "_Si. Y tú__?" _

"I played chess with Blaise and he spoke about, what else, Draco. I'm seriously considering throwing them into the closest. They are the only people I tolerate and associate with and they're starting to get annoying."

"Hmm…they will get together when they are destined to, if they are destined to. You need not interfere, _corazón_."

"Hmm…" Theo grumbled and his dad simply laughed. Silence fell in the large room and was only interrupted by hid dad. "Theo…_le vas a decir a tu padre_?"

"No," Theo mumbled. He knew the question was coming. "Dad needn't know. _Pero papá, por favor…no lo hagas mas…por favor…_"

"_No me hagas prometer eso. Me cansa esta casa! Me siento como que estoy en una prisión_!" Celino said, his voice cracking. He could not promise his own that he would not venture out…he couldn't…

"_Esta bien…esta bien_…" Theo mumbled. "Just please…be more discrete…Mr. Malfoy rattled father's shackles yesterday with what you did in Diagon Alley a couple days ago…please? Just…stay low for a while…"

Theo pulled away and looked up at his dad who simply smiled, his hand rising and his pinky raised, "_Promesa, promesa_…" they mumbled as their pinkies interlinked. Celino giggled, "_Mi niñito_! My little boy!" He wrapped his arms around Theo. "Oh how I love you!"

Theo smiled, "I love you too, _Papá…_"

"Now all you need is a…what is it called again…a…a wife! There! A wife…or at least a girlfriend…or maybe a boyfriend for my little boy!"

"_Papá_!" Theo cried out as he rolled his eyes. "Will you stop rushing me into a relationship?!"

"_Pero, mi amor_!" his dad whined, his light blue eyes gaining a teasing shine, "I must approve of your love! Are you going to wait until I am on my…my deathbed? You know your father is no good with…with…_con cosas de amor_…! You're not thinking of actually getting his opinion, right?"

"No, _Papá," _Theo mumbled with another roll of his eyes although a grin tugged his lips. His dad poked his side. "That's good…what about that girl…uh… _cuál era su nombre_…oh well…I can't remember…" his nose wrinkled in a childish manner, "Well if I can't remember her name then it's an obvious no."

"_Papá_-"

"What are you two doing on the floor?"

Theo turned towards the door and was surprised to see that his father stood not even a meter away from them. He glanced towards his dad whose expression was not of surprise. Obviously, he had noticed when Nott Sr. entered.

They stood up and their father stared at them with a raised brow. "I purchase a large home, furnish it luxuriously and yet you still choose to sit on the floor? Should I be insulted?" There was the usual mockery in his voice and Celino simply smiled.

"Take it as you wish, _amo_." Celino leaned and kissed Nott Sr. on the cheek. "I will go start lunch."

"No, you will go tell the house-elves to start lunch," Nott Sr. said with steady eyes that were neither cold nor harsh but warm and seemed to shimmer as they looked upon Celino.

Celino nodded, albeit after a slight hesitation. "Alright." He walked out, leaving father and son by themselves.

"You should let him cook, father. He really wishes to-"

"I will have no spouse of mine acting as if he was some house-elf," Nott snapped. His dark blue eyes landed on his only son. "He is neither a house-elf nor a performer. He is he your bearer and my spouse."

"Indulging him in the little things he wishes to do will not make him a house-elf or performer, father. He wishes to cook. He used to cook all the time before he married you. He used to dance and play instruments and-"

"Do I not provide him with any instrument he wishes? Do I not hold balls and parties so he can simply dance as much as he wishes?" Nott said with growing hostility.

"It's- it's not the same, father." Theo said, his eyes sliding from his father. He rarely spoke against his father, the only times he's had always concerned his dad, and it always made him feel uneasy when he argued with the larger man.

"Hmm…I will not have him perform with those- those-" something resembling a growl threatened to escape from the older man's lips. He let something like a hiss leave him. "Did you have fun, my son?" Nott said changing the subject abruptly and Theo took the hint.

"Yes. We played chess. I won, of course."

"Of course," Nott said with a proud smile as he eyes landed on his son's shoulder. "You are aware of how proud I am of you, Theodore, correct?"

"I know, father. I know." Theodore said, his eyes shining with some unknown emotions but it was gone before Nott could truly decipher it.

No other words were exchanged as they left the ballroom and left to find Celino.

--

(Translation: Sorry to break the chapter with it but it was suggested and I agree it would be better to have it here instead of at the end of the chapter!)

"_Por favor váyanse" _Please leave!

"_Mi corazón"- _my heart.

"_Si. Y tú"- _Yes. And you?

"_Le vas a decir a tu padre?"- _Are you going to tell your father?

"_Pero papá, por favor…no lo hagas mas…por favor…_" But papa, please…don't do it anymore…please…

"_No me hagas prometer eso. Me cansa esta casa! Me siento como que estoy en una prisión a veces" _– Don't make me promise that. This house tires me! I feel like I'm in a prison sometimes.

"_Esta bien…esta bien"- _Fine…fine (can also be translated to "alright, alright")

"_Promesa, promesa" – _Promise, Promise.

"_Mi niñito"- _My little boy.

"_Pero, mi amor!" - _But my love.

"C_uál era su nombre" – _What was her name?

"_Amo" _– master/lord (although it can mean "love" but in verb form)

* * *

_BOY-WHO-LIVED GONE!_

_It has come to the attention of the Ministry that Harry Potter, the Boy-Who-Lived, has disappeared without a trace. After the fiasco in the Ministry were it was learned that He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named has indeed returned, the Order of the Phoenix, a group that opposed You-Know-Who, has been fighting furiously against the Death Eaters and He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named. Harry Potter, under their protection, went back to his relatives for the summer where he disappeared a week ago. Speculations have-_

With a scowl, Severus threw the newspaper into the fireplace, checked to make sure he had the potions with him, grabbed his coat and left.

* * *

Harry woke up with a smile. Today, Tom was taking him out!

He swung out of the bed with a small jump and walked towards the bathroom connected to 'their' rooms. He giggled. It gave him a warm feeling whenever he thought of Tom and himself as a…"couple". They had spent the last week (the only week he could remember) together. Harry giggled once more as he continued to shower. True, they had not left the manor and Tom never spent the whole day with him but he took what he could get and he felt like he was remembering- or at the very least getting to know Tom once more.

Tom had a temper; Harry had concluded right before he realized he himself had a nasty temper as well. They had argued over something so meaningless that he could not remember what it was about. It had gotten heated and Harry nearly threw the vase at the older wizard. Harry had noticed that Tom was about ready to throw something at him as well- it didn't help matters that his hand that held his wand was twitching with the effort it took to keep his control in check. Harry had stared at him with something close to fear but Tom had simply left the room, the door slamming behind him.

Harry had apologized first and Tom, whose eyes were unusually cold, had simply smiled and shook his head before mumbling "it was alright and that it was partly his fault as well." Then they had kissed and Harry couldn't breathe properly for a while after it.

Harry toweled down and with quick steps, was inside the room, looking for clothes to wear. The first time he had seen all the clothes that were supposedly his was after he took a shower after meeting Severus. He had stood in front of the wardrobe in slight surprise. For some reason, he expected to have much less… As the days went on, the clothes in the wardrobe seemed to multiply and change.

When he told Tom this, the older wizard had simply laughed and stated that the wardrobe was charmed to frequently change the clothes it showed. Harry had shrugged it off after that.

"Harry? Are you ready to go?" Harry turned towards the door as he pushed his arms through the sleeves of his green turtle neck.

"I'm all set…except for shoes…where are my shoes?" he asked, just realizing he had never once wore any type of shoes or slippers or…anything really on his feet. Not even socks.

Tom titled his head. "You've always had the bad habit of leaving them wherever you took them off. They could be anywhere in the house." Tom grabbed two Sickles and with a flick of his wand, it was a pair of black shoes. He threw them towards Harry who caught them awkwardly.

"So…where we going?" Harry asked with a small smile. Tom smiled in return. "It's been a while since we visited Paris."

"Paris…" Harry mumbled, his eyes shinning in confusion. "Paris…Paris…France? Paris, France?"

Tom's eyes widened a fraction. "You remember-"

"Paris…a tower…and French and…" Harry grabbed his head, his hold on his head becoming tighter and harsher. His head hurt.

"Harry, stop. Stop forcing yourself to remember." Tom said as he grabbed Harry's arms. "Stop, Harry!"

"But- I- I remembered. I can remember if I just…" Harry's eyes were closed shut.

"You're forcing it, beloved. Severus said you shouldn't force it…"

Harry opened his eyes, "He did?"

"Yes. You were in the shower but…Harry, you can't force your memories to the surface, you _**shouldn't**_."

"But I want to remember," Harry mumbled.

"And you will," Tom said with steady eyes, "It'll come to you soon…"

Harry frowned but nodded his head, "Alright…So we're going to Paris?"

"Indeed. You'll like it."

"Really? How is it?"

"Romantic." Tom simply said as he smiled charmingly before leaning down and kissing Harry.

* * *

What what'cha think? –smile- Next chapter there will be a lot more Harry and Tom. Which parts were your favorites? Hmmm, do you guys like my Celino? I don't know why I decided to have him appear. Well, there's this Spanish soap opera that while my grandma was visiting, she watched. It had to do with Zorro and Gypsy and stuff. I rather liked it. I think he's inspired by the main female character although they're not too much alike and I never really got to watch all of the soap opera…

Also, Severus and Lucius; I'll be giving out their past in small bits as the chapters go on and how their relationship affects Narcissa and Draco. Uhh…Severus's appearance will change slightly, not much like all of a sudden he's GORGEOUS but enough that people aren't like how the HELL did that happen as they look between a very handsome Lucius and then a very awkward and "ugly" Severus Snape. Although I never really imagined Snape as ugly, even in the books…-shrug-

Then there's Draco and Blaise… -smile- I have my plans for them and Lucius, he knows that Blaise is a very good candidate for his son's love but he's very overprotective and doesn't truly think anyone is good enough for his little boy. But don't you worry, Blaise has his own plans! –grin-

Anyway! Remember guys to review 'cus reviews make me update sooner!! I truly does. I had this chapter half way done about two weeks ago…-smile-


	7. Orange

**-Love and Forget: These Loving Memories-  
By: Concubine99**

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Harry Potter or its context.

**Warning(s):** Slash, Amnesia, **Sexual Context**, Angst, Mpreg, Language, Underage -Harry's sixteen-

**Main Paring: **Tom Riddle(Voldemort)/Harry Potter

**Side Pairings**: Sirius/Remus, Severus/Lucius, Draco/Blaise, Ron/Hermione,

**Summary: **Harry's memories are gone buft he's gained an imaginary life with three friends who have their own drama and a lover- a Tom who's known by the world as the Dark Lord Voldemort.

**Beta**: _Who else but the lovely Shadow-Ravin!_

**A/N**: _Aw! I was so happy that I got Spanish reviewers. Just like in my English, I make mistake in my Spanish. So I'm glad there are people who know their Spanish and can point of a typo or something. Anyway, just for future reference, Celino's Spanish is supposed to be somewhat awkward and "choppy"._

* * *

**Chapter Seven  
****Orange  
**_Like the tickle of the fruit, like the caress of his hands _

_--_

"Ok…either I've forgotten how to read…or this isn't readable…"

"It's in French, Harry," Tom said with a crooked smile and amused red eyes. Harry simply rolled his eyes, "Well what use is that? Do they expect everyone to know French? Do I know French?"

"No, you don't. I usually translate it for you."

"Oh…you can speak French?"

"Hmm…I learned many years ago…" Tom mumbled as he looked down the menu.

"How old are you?" Harry asked as he stared at Tom with open eyes. "I don't know much about you really…"

"You'll remember in time. And I'm old, much older than you are, anyway."

"That's not a number."

"Harry, I don't even remember. I would have to count from my birth date to remember…"

"You don't even know your own birthday?"

"I always found it quite pointless to count down my life and simultaneously celebrate that the earth has made it, despite all disbelief, once more around the sun and that I am one year closer to my grave."

"Ya don't have to be so pessimistic…did I dislike my birthday?"

"Of course not. How could you dislike the parties you are thrown?" Tom said with slight arrogance. His lips twitched, "Your birthday is just around the corner actually. Couple more weeks…"

"Are you gonna to buy me a present?" Harry asked as he jumped in his seat, the menu long forgotten.

"No Harry, I'm planning on feeding you to Nagini."

"Meany." Harry simply stuck out his tongue.

"Unless you are planning on using that tongue, I suggest you pull it back," Tom commented as he glanced around him.

Technically, he had been telling the truth. This was Paris…and technically, not Paris. It was a town, unplottable and technically, not existing. The Wizardly World was made up of places such as these. Places, towns that were completely separated from the outside world, where the outside world was of no importance.

If it could be placed in a map, it would be four miles from the _Louvre Museum_. Voldemort knew about this place simply because within its border, there was one of the best apothecaries he had ever come upon. It also didn't hurt that there was this nice little café…

"What's…this?" Harry asked as he pointed towards a listed meal in the menu.

Tom merely glanced at it before replying, "You won't like it. Why don't you just try the _Coq au vin_? This one."

"What is it?"

"You'll like it. It's…stew."

"Why don't I believe you?" Harry asked with narrowed eyes and his lips pulled into something resembling a pout.

Tom merely chuckled. "Trust me, Harry. You will love it."

"Alright, but if it tastes bad I'm making you eat it…"

Tom merely laughed.

* * *

Harry had to admit, it was rather good. He liked it but he didn't care much about that. He wanted dessert.

He grinned as he watched Tom order for them. He had told the man he could order the dessert, so long as it wasn't too small or too tart. For come on, desserts were supposed to be sweet.

"So what did you order?"

"A Crème brûlée for the both of us. We'll share."

"That expensive, huh," Harry muttered with a straight face.

Tom felt his lips twitch. "No, you brat. You often liked it when we shared desserts. Some nonsense about it being romantic."

"Oh…" Harry said softly as he gazed down at his hands. Tom frowned. He had not meant to upset the boy. With a mental sigh, he grabbed the boy's hands and kissed them gently.

"Have I angered you?"

"No!" Harry said quickly, his large eyes widening. "No, of course not. I- it just bothers me. I can't remember anything about you. Not your age, not that you speak French or that I can't speak French. I can't even remember how our relationship once was."

"Listen to me, Harry," Tom said softly. He leaned towards the boy, his warm hands grasping Harry's face. "I will do everything in my power to give you your memories back and if I can't, we will make new memories. Better than the old ones. Please, just give me time. You cannot stress yourself so much. Your heart has been doing so well and it's a miracle, especially seeing as you do not have your potion. Please do not stress yourself…just…just give it time. Enjoy this…"

"Alright…" Harry said softly and Tom smiled at him. He leaned and kissed the boy breathless. Harry felt his cheeks stain as he pushed his lover away. "Tom!" he hissed, "We're in public!"

"And it is none of their business what we do." Tom said before he leaned towards the boy once more and locked lips with the young wizards.

* * *

Draco knew where his father was last night. More importantly, with whom. It occurred every few weeks, would last a variety of length of time and would end abruptly, his father in a state where he was intolerant to anyone else besides family and "important" individuals.

The first time Draco knew his mother and father did not love each other was when he was seven. It was Christmas night. He had gotten everything he desired of course, Blaise had visited, as had Theodore, but that was because Celino had brought him over when he came to speak with Narcissa.

All in all, it had been a great day. That was ruined by Theodore. Sometimes the boy was too cunning, too shrewd for his own good. Mr. Nott had come to "pick up" his family and had placed a kiss on Celino's cheek. Draco had seen other people kiss in greeting but that was the first time he saw a person hug another so gently…so lovingly. It was not in the manner his mother would hug him. The hug between Celino and Mr. Nott was…personal…private.

He had asked Theodore why his father hugged his dad like that and the pale-eyed boy had stared at him critically all the while saying, "Your parents don't love each other like parents are suppose to. Mine do."

Those words had had an affect on him. He never forgot those words.

The first time he learned that Severus Snape, his godfather, meant more to his father than his own mother did, he was nine.

Severus had come over to visit. He had stayed with them for nearly a week and during those days, he spent almost the entire time with either Lucius or Draco. Draco felt like he had been ignoring (he later figured that he wasn't ignoring but avoiding) his mother.

On the first day of his stay, his father had looked at Severus once over before he had say, "Look at you. Must I send a mother to take care of you?"

Draco also remembered Severus dry and irritated comment. "Not everyone had the luxury of indulging themselves." Draco recalled how his father smiled. It was a smile that had never been directed towards his mother.

"Well, during your stay, you will indeed have the luxury. You'll be good as new."

"Wasn't that good to begin with," Severus said. He glanced towards Narcissa and he gave her a small smile. "Narcissa. Lovely as ever."

His mother had not responded. In fact, she seemed lost in thought.

His father had caught sight of him then. "Draco where are your manners?" he had said with a small frown, "Do not just stand there and listen in. Come greet Severus."

Draco had. He had walked towards his godfather who had kneeled to his level. Lean arms had wrapped around him. Draco, like always, could smell sage, cinnamon and pure water.

"How's my favorite godson?"

"I'm your only godson!" he had exclaimed with a grin. Severus returned the grin, "Hmm…yes, indeed. But that does not mean you can't be my favorite. I've brought you something…"

"Really? What is it?" Draco asked as he bounced from foot to foot. He always liked receiving presents from Severus. He always brought him good ones. "you will have to wait until later to find out..."

"But Se-"

"Draco. It's unbecoming to whine or beg."

"Yes, Father."

The rest of the week, Draco enjoyed. His present was his own owl- a beautiful black one which almost resembled a hawk. It was on the last day of Severus' visit that all the clues came into place and he realized it.

Severus had come down from his bedroom, and Draco remembered thinking he looked quite nice. He was not as skinny as he had been when he had arrived nor was his skin as sullen. It was pale but it was almost beautiful in how it glowed. His hair- and Draco always found how quickly his godfather's hair grew remarkable- was almost caressing his wait. His dark eyes seemed to sparkle with something close to…joy.

Narcissa had taken her place besides her husband who sat at the head of the table. Severus had been sitting across from her during his visit. She had been silent during the entire meal and Draco had noticed that yet again, it seemed like she had been lost in thought. Her blues eyes were glazed and she seemed almost sickly.

Lucius paid her no mind. He barely glanced towards her direction. As soon as Severus had walked downstairs and sat down, Lucius had smiled. "Did I not tell you? Good as new…"

"If you say so," Severus said, his gaze on something on table. The house-elves had served them, but Lucius had not dropped the subject.

"Draco, do you not agree? Doesn't your godfather look lovely?"

"Lucius-" Severus growled, his eyes narrowing after his quick glance towards where Narcissa sat. Draco had not noticed the tension around him but now that he looked back upon the incident, he couldn't understand how he missed it.

"Severus looks nice. I like your hair, Uncle Severus. I want to pet it," he had said with a grin and a small, childish giggle. He had often sat next to his mother and played with her hair. He had wondered in that moment if Severus' hair was as soft and smooth as his mother's. Thinking of her, he had glanced towards her direction and something had stirred within him. She had simply sat there. She resembled a doll- beautiful but without breath or feeling.

"Mother? Are you alright?" his question had forced Severus' attention from his food to his friend. Lucius managed to pry his gaze from Severus to stare at Narcissa. His eyes had shinned with a lack of interest.

"Maybe you should rest, Narcissa," Severus had suggested.

"I'm fine."

"No, dear," Lucius had mumbled, the usually endearing term coming out indifferent and without an ounce of love. "I agree with Severus. Why don't you go to bed? I won't disturb you tonight."

"Of course you agree with him," Narcissa had said with bitterness. Draco had been quite surprise.

"And of course you won't disturb me!" Narcissa had stood up with anger radiating.

"Narcissa-"

"I do not wish to hear you at the moment, friend. I hope you enjoy tonight. It must be nice to be able to disregard all pride and friendship." Her comment had been mere hisses.

Draco had never seen her so angry and for a moment, he was stung.

"Father? Why is mother upset with Uncle Severus?" he had asked once his mother had left the dinning room.

"She has not had a good week and she is merely taking it out on poor Severus." Lucius had said with an even gaze.

"Oh…" Draco mumbled. He glanced towards Severus whose attention was on his plate, his eyes somehow dim.

"Why would she do somethin' like that?"

"Why women do what they do- mysteries of the world," Lucius said with a roll of his eyes. His hand fell upon Severus' shoulder and the man seemed to struggle with himself at the mere contact.

Draco had stared at that hand and he had then realized that although his father had often laid his hand on mother's shoulder, it never seemed to be an intimate gesture. Yet with Severus, the simple touch was loving and…possessive.

"Father…" Draco had remembered mumbling in the quiet room. Severus had looked up at Draco and when there eyes met, Draco could see the internal struggle taking place in Severus. His gaze went between the two men, his young mind working to process what was in front of him.

"Father…" he had mumbled once more and when Lucius' eyes went from Severus' to lock gazes with his son, Draco had seen the blunt truth in his eyes.

"Are you done, Draco?"

"I…yes. I'm full and kinda tired…I'll be going to sleep early, father."

"Alright, goodnight." Lucius had said right before Severus' own farewell.

"Night father, Severus. Sleep well."

As he had left, he could have sworn he had heard Severus mumble: "Selfish, you are." As he had gotten ready for bed, Severus' comment had repeated itself in his mind. Just as he was about to fall asleep, he had admitted, Severus might have been right.

As he had said to Harry that first day they got together as "friends", his parents cared for one another and that was all one could really ask. He could not and would not ask his father to give up Severus so as to please his mother. Severus had been in his life since he was a baby. He had been the favorite uncle, the man who spoiled him rotten and who rarely scold him because he was not his parent. He was the one he would go for advice, especially when it concerned his love life.

In truth, he felt that his father belonged with Severus and he had once told Severus his belief. The man had enveloped him in a hug, and it did not take Draco long to realize that the man was crying.

They rarely brought up the subject after that. Yet there was one thing that bugged Draco. It was his father's complete indifference at times. There were times when he was almost loving towards Narcissa, his smile almost reaching his eyes. Yet there were other times, the majority of the time, when he stared at her coldly, dismissed her, and did not care to hide his affair.

Draco shook his head. His father had arrived early that morning, a small smile curling his lips. It had disappeared once he caught sight of Narcissa.

They had fought. Draco had been on the stairs and had heard everything.

"_You were with him."_

"_And your point?"_

"_Do you not even try to deny it?"_

"_Narcissa…I am not in the mood." Lucius had sidestepped her and was walking towards the stairs. Draco stood up from the first stair as he heard his father's footsteps and was about to retreat to his room but his mother's comment stopped him._

"_Of course not. I wouldn't be either if I spent the night soiling my name and pride."_

"_That comment better have been to insult me and not him," Lucius hissed, his grip on his cane tightening._

"_It was for the both of you," Narcissa said with dark eyes and a twisting sneer. _

_Lucius swirled around, his glare momentarily stunning his wife. "I'm warning you, Narcissa…I've told you many times not to insult him!"_

"_I will do as I please!"_

"_Not in my presence!" Lucius hissed as he grabbed her arm. Draco was half way down the stairs by then and could see them clearly._

"_I am your wife!"_

"_Whose fault is that?" Lucius muttered darkly, "Do not act as if I ever promised anything but my name."_

"_I am sick of it!" Narcissa shrieked and Draco winced. "Do you hear me Lucius Malfoy? I have never once betrayed your trust yet you-"_

"_Don't be so condescending!" Lucius barked, "I have told you that my obligation as your husband was fulfilled once Draco was born. I have kept you in my house, as my wife because you are his mother! You are my wife by name only and if Draco wasn't a factor-"_

"_You'd what? Kill me off? Take your name away? Sometimes I think it'd be better than knowing myself as your wife! Even Celino looks at me in pity!"_

"_Not my concern," Lucius said __curtly. "I do not speak about my affairs and neither does Severus."_

"_Well I'm surely not! But the knowledge must be leaking from somewhere! How can you be so certain that your little whore isn't-" Lucius rose his hand and Narcissa let out a small shriek despite the fact that Lucius did not strike her._

"_You dare raise your hand to me?"_

"_Don't tempt me to raise it again and lower it against your cheek, woman."_

"_How dare you-"_

"_I've warned you not to insult Severus. __**Do not insult him**__. In fact, you should thank him!"_

"_Thank him?!"_

"_Unfortunately or fortunately, depends on your point of view, he isn't as selfish as I am and actually does care for you. He's often quite sad to know he causes you such suffering. You don't seem to wish to return the favor."_

"_Favor? You are my husband! I have a right! He is an affair and until you get rid of him, this family-"_

"_Fuck!" Lucius cursed and Draco winced. His father simply did not curse, not unless he was at the brink of losing all control. "I will not give him up! Do you hear me, Narcissa? I will not! He is not some trash to be given "rid" of! He is mine and fuck it if you think I'll let you stand in my way! I'll __**bury**__ you before that can ever occur. God knows I don't need a reason to get rid of you and marry him." _

_Draco closed his eyes as he felt something close to a sob threaten to break through his lips. His father would do it. He knew he would. He would kill his mother if she continued-_

"_That bloody Mudblood! Have you forgotten who and what he is? Worthless and tainted! You'd soil the Malfoy name with him!"_

_Something resembling a crack or something shattering echoed down belong him and Draco, opened his eyes, fearing his father had struck his mother. But no, two portraits had fallen as had a glass vase. Lucius grip on Narcissa tightened painfully and Draco could hear his mother's whimper._

"_Don't say such things! Don't utter such words about him! I'll kill you, I swear I will Narcissa if you speak another word against him! He is purer than you will ever be, and he does not, unlike your whole fucking family, taint everything he breathes on! Just for once in your life, shut up and stop thinking you are the only victim!" Lucius yelled as he shook the woman in his grasp before he let her go roughly. She steadied herself against the wall and by the time she look up towards where Lucius stood, he had his back towards her, already on the stairs. _

_Draco stayed where he was and when Lucius looked up, his eyes __connected with his. "Draco…"_

"_Morning, father," Draco said with a small smile. "Will you be staying with us for breakfast?"_

"_No…I have papers to go over with the Minister," Lucius mumbled as he rested a hand on his son's shoulder. "Draco…are you alright?"_

"_Of course, father. Why wouldn't I?" Draco asked with a tilt of his head. Lucius nodded curtly. "Alright. Do you have any plans I should know about?"_

"_I was thinking of visiting Blaise…he's gotten a shipment from his father and he's willing to share it!"_

_Lucius frowned. "Draco…"_

"_Oh please father! Can't I go? I'll behave and I'll be back by evening. I just want to see what he's got."_

"_Is his mother there?"_

"_No, she's in Germany at the moment."_

"_Fine, but you must be here by six, am I understood?"_

"_Thank you," Draco said and a smile curled his lips. He leaned and hugged his father. "Have a nice day, father."_

_Lucius' stern expression softened and his gray eyes seemed to grow lighter. "You too, my little dragon." He sidestepped his son and was two steps ahead before he stopped. "Do make sure your mother is alright."_

"_Of course," Draco mumbled so softly that Lucius barely heard it._

_Draco looked down and his gaze met Narcissa's. He smiled. "Mother, what are we having for breakfast?"_

_Her smile was soft as she stared up at her only son. He could always make her feel better, no matter how low she was. They walked towards the dinning room, not once bringing up the incident that occurred a moment ago._

With another shake of his head, he threw a pinch of Floo Powder into the fire and with a shout of his destination, he was gone.

* * *

He reached the house in swirling flames and as he stepped out, the flames diminished. With a small frown, he began to dust off the powder and dust from his clothes. One thing –the only thing really- that he didn't like about the Floo System; it was messy.

"I'm surprise you got permission to come," Blaise mumbled as he stood in front of Draco. He had been transported directly towards the main study of the large mansion. It was darkly decorated with dim colors and harsh, dark woods as part of the furniture.

"Where is it?" Draco asked as he smiled at his long time friend, all the while practically jumping with excitement.

"I'll let you see it…but you have to give me something in return…" Blaise said as he leaned against the wall. He titled his head, his eyes taking in all of Draco. His face was perfectly smooth and indifferent. "A kiss…"

Draco chocked on seemingly nothing. "I'm not kissing you!"

"A small one, between friends."

"Blaise!"

"Fine. Do you wish to take a walk in the gardens?"

"You'd truly keep me from the shipment, wouldn't you," Draco grumbled as he crossed his arms in front of him.

"Hmmm…yes."

Draco sighed and he ran his hand through his hair. He gave Blaise an almost coy glance. "Alright," he mumbled as he walked towards the dark boy. He leaned against the broad body, his hands resting upon his chest and he reached up for Blaise was a couple inches taller. He pressed his lips against Blaise's cheeks and just as he was about to pull away, Blaise grabbed his chin and pressed their lips together.

Draco felt his lips part under Blaise's probing and he felt himself grow weak as he leaned himself further against his friend. An arm encircled him and kept him still.

It took him a moment but he suddenly realized what he was doing and pushed against Blaise. "That was no friendly kiss."

"Obviously you've forgotten who my mother is," Blaise said without a hint of any emotions. "_Friendly_ has a vast definition."

Draco glared. "Let me go."

"I'm rather comfortable."

"Well I'm not," Draco snapped. "Let go, Blaise or I'll hex you!"

"Hmm..." he mumbled as he titled his head to the side, his dark eyes glittering. "You're in a cranky mood. May I know why?"

Draco simply glared but it was not as heated as it could be. Soon enough he sighed and he placed his head against Blaise's chest. "My parents were fighting in the morning. I'm…I'm afraid for my mother. She does not know how to just…just shut up!"

"Your father has a temper and your mother can't keep her mouth shut. They are your parents."

"Hey-" Draco exclaimed but lips descended upon his in a chaste kiss.

"Don't do that!" Draco hissed as he glared up at him.

"Alright. I won't," Blaise said all the while his hand rubbed against Draco's hip.

"You still haven't let me go."

"So they fought? How bad was it?"

"Pretty bad," Draco mumbled as he laid his face against Blaise's chest once more. "He threatened to kill her."

"Ouch. Let me guess, it was about Professor Snape?"

"It's always about Severus," Draco said softly. "They say the same things, over and over again. He was furious with her, but then again, she should know better than to insult Severus."

"Hmm…let's go see the shipment," Blaise said as he pushed himself from the wall. He leaned down and kissed the boy once more. "Would you like to keep it?"

"The whole thing?" Draco asked with shining eyes, "You're going to give me the whole shipment?"

Blaise shrugged. "I'm the third prince. I doubt whatever he sent me, he won't be able to send again."

Draco simply chuckled. "You're too arrogant."

"As are you, but I find it endearing," Blaise mumbled.

Draco simply rolled his eyes. "Hush you, and show me it!"

"Why do I get the impression that you're only my friend because you like what I give you?" Blaise said smoothly as they left the room and walked down the long hallway.

"It's not an impression, Blaise," Draco said with a smirk.

"Hmm…I wouldn't mind, you know." Blaise said as he glanced towards his side where Draco walked. "I wouldn't mind at all."

"Blaise-"

"I do love you."

"Please don't start-"

"And I'm quite certain you love me as well. You're not the type to let others kiss you as I often do."

"You always catch me by surprise!" Draco hissed as he stopped and as did Blaise. The boy stared at him openly and Draco, as he often did, averted his gaze. "You always catch me by surprise…"

"You love me," Blaise said with a bit more force. "I know you do."

"As a friend, Blaise! As a friend!"

"For once will you think about what you want and not what your father wishes? For it was up to him, you'd die alone!"

"Don't talk about my father like that!"

"It's the bloody truth!"

"So what!" Draco snapped, his grey eyes glaring angrily at him. "So fucking what?! I'm not …you and I will never happen! Do you understand me, Blaise? Not without my father's blessing! I am not some whore who-"

"Well it's not like I want to fuck you! I mean, yes I do but that's not all I care about," Blaise said with a frown and his nicely formed mask was cracking.

"Is this why you asked me over?" Draco said eerily calm. "If it is, I'm leaving."

"No, no…I just want to be with you…that's all…" Blaise mumbled, unusually coy.

Draco sighed as he ran a hand through his hair, "Blaise…I-I…please…?"

"Of course," Blaise said and his face once again became a blank slate. He turned and led Draco towards where the shipment was.

Blaise was used to it. He was used to pretending nothing had happened. You often had to if you wish to be friends with a Malfoy. That's what they tended to do. Act like nothing had happened.

* * *

They walked the small village, their hands intertwined and their side pressed against each other. Harry glanced up and his eyes took in Tom. The man was truly striking. He had the type of face that led people, the face of an ambitious human. His eyes, with the sun's light, turned lighter and almost soft. He had recently cut his hair for it no longer brushed his shoulders – it flowed to the base of his neck and was fashioned handsomely.

Harry felt his cheeks redden as those red eyes fell on him. Tom smirked, "Yes?"

"Nothing…" Harry muttered as he glanced away. They stopped and Harry felt warm hands grasp his face. He stared into warm wine-colored eyes. "You are beautiful…do you know that?"

Harry blushed, "Don't say such things!"

"Why not when it is the truth?"

"Shut it!" Harry exclaimed, his face were tainted red and his eyes swept around his surroundings.

"I agree with your love there. You are quite beautiful." Their eyes landed upon a man who sat at the small distance. He wore a oversize green jacket that held too many color stains and near him was his little stand.

"May I draw the two of you?" the man asked. He did not have the accent that most around them had- in fact he spoke in a similar manner to Tom.

Tom's eyes stared almost angrily at the man. "No-"

"Oh please Tom! It sounds like fun. I haven't seen any pictures of us in the manor-"

"That's because you haven't seen the whole manor, Harry," Tom said smoothly. "We have enough portraits."

"But Tom…" Harry whispered and his green eyes shined in plea. Tom felt himself start to crumble.

"Sir, it seems your young love would really wish to have your love forever engraved by me."

Harry was already tugging him towards the stand and Tom sighed in resignation. "Alright…but it better be good."

"Of course young Master."

Harry sat next to Tom, his hand rested on Tom's leg while his head rested against Tom's shoulder and Tom's one arm wrapped around Harry's waist. They sat intimately and the painter, for a moment, could not distinguish one from the other.

"It will only take a little time," the man mumbled as he snapped out of his daze expression and started to paint.

Tom simply rolled his eyes. Harry just smiled.

* * *

He had painted many lovers and many friends and many families. He knew which lovers would eventually drift apart and fall out of love. He knew which friends would betray and knew which families would be separated. He also knew when love was real.

And the couple in front of him, shared a great bond. A bond that would not be broken easily. He could tell they had not been together for long. The older man held the smaller wizard in the tender manner that most people tended to do when they were afraid of breaking their partner. The young boy sat shyly, his cheeks colored a faint pink.

They may not see it but they were in love, or at least would fall in love very soon. They held that spark. He could tell.

He continued to paint, and with a small private smile, wondered if he could paint them again.

* * *

Well, there's the seventh chapter. I was going to write more, really I was but whatever. So, the scene with the painting I actually got from this one fanfiction I read a LONG time ago. It was Tom/Harry and Tom took Harry to…somewhere and they got a picture painted.

-smile- I thought that was sweet and I couldn't resist putting something like that in this chapter. Anyway…uhh…

Yeah, I won't be updating for a while now. I'm going to focus on my other two fics that are about to be finished. Like this one has the least amount of reviewers, I think I can get away with a couple of weeks with this in hiatus. But I will update sooner or later!

Anyway, tell me what you think.


	8. Jade: Part I

**-Love and Forget: These Loving Memories-  
By: Concubine99**

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Harry Potter or its context.

**Warning(s):** Slash, Amnesia, **Sexual Context**, Angst, Mpreg, Language, Underage -Harry's sixteen-

**Main Paring: **Tom Riddle(Voldemort)/Harry Potter

**Side Pairings**: Sirius/Remus, Severus/Lucius, Draco/Blaise, Ron/Hermione,

**Summary: **Harry's memories are gone but he's gained an imaginary life with three friends who have their own drama and a lover- a Tom who's known by the world as the Dark Lord Voldemort.

**Beta**: None this chapter

**A/N**: _Aw! I was so happy that I got Spanish reviewers. __**Just like in my English, I make mistake in my Spanish. So I'm glad there are people who know their Spanish and can point out a typo or something**__. Anyway, just for future reference, Celino's Spanish is supposed to be somewhat awkward and "choppy"._

* * *

**Jade: Part I  
**_Like this false potion, like our complicated lives_

They arrived in a quiet fashion, Harry's arm wrapped in Tom's. Their portrait was nicely wrapped, shrunken and the still wet paint protected by a simple charm.

Harry titled his head up and his lips curled into a beautiful smile. "Thank you," he mumbled softly and Tom almost missed it.

"Anything for you," Tom said softly as he leaned down and brushed his lips against soft ones. "My sweet little Harry."

"I-I like you…" Harry mumbled, his green eyes closing for a moment, "Maybe not love…but I- thank you…Tom…"

They opened and they met red ones. They held a calculating glint that was not as cold as it could have been. It was almost warm and Harry's heart skipped a beat. "To-"

"My Lord…you've returned."

They turned, the moment shattered by the appearance of a Death Eater.

"Severus…what are you doing here…" Voldemort muttered in a peevish manner but it occurred to him what the date was and he felt something close to frustration grip him.

How could he have forgotten?

"My Lord-"

"Yes, yes…do you have the potion, Severus?" he asked and he noticed the Potion Master jump as if he was struck.

"Yes, my Lord."

"Hm…I wish to speak with you, wait for me in my study. Contact Lucius as well. I need him to run an errand for me."

"Of course," Severus said with a slight bow and he left the room in quick steps, his posture tense and reeked of distress.

"Harry, I-"

"Let me guess, you gotta go?" Harry muttered as he pulled away from Tom's grasp. "It's ok…I'm gonna try and find Nagini…"

"Alright…perhaps Draco will come with Lucius, Harry" Tom said softly as he caressed Harry's cheek. The boy smiled weakly but he moved away from Tom's touch.

The older wizard frowned. "Harry-"

"Send Draco to the gardens, if he comes," Harry muttered as he gave a small, quick smile before he turned and left the older wizard alone.

Tom's hand twitched in frustration and with an inhuman growl, he turned and left the room.

--

"Why are you there, Severus?"

"Does it matter?"

"Not particularly but it will satisfy my curiosity…"

"Lucius," Severus hissed, "The Lord wishes you here. Stop these games."

"Hm…alright, alright. Make room-"

"Lucius, bring your boy as well," Voldemort mumbled as he entered the room, his eyes landing on the fireplace. "I need him to seek out the brat."

"That might be a problem, My Lord…"

"And why is that?" Voldemort snapped harshly and Severus noticed Lucius flinch.

"He is currently with Zabini…"

"That is no concern of mine. I want him here, now!"

"Of course…" the connection died down and Severus turned towards the Dark Lord, his expression hidden behind the mask.

"Take off your mask, Severus…I wish to see that face of yours!" Voldemort growled as he sat down on his large chair, his red eyes a darker shade than usual.

Severus felt his palms become sweaty and he couldn't rationalize why he was suddenly so frightened. True, he stood before one of the most powerful wizards in the world, a wizard who was at best a ruthless, malicious, power-hungry narcissistic bastard. But he was also quite…rational as long as he wasn't too angry anyways. And yet Severus could not dispel the feeling of utter dread.

"Well, aren't you glowing!" Voldemort said with a twisted smirk and hateful eyes, "Now, now…have you been doing naughty things with Lucius again? Won't Narcissa be displeased!"

"My Lord-"

"I do so hope your little affair will not hinder you or Lucius," Voldemort cut him off, his chin resting upon his open palm, "Anyway, where is it? Let me see this potion."

Severus pulled a small bag from robes and placed it on the desk, his hand slowly returning to his side as if he deeply regretted placing the pouch on the desk.

Voldemort through Severus a dark look as he opened the pouch and took out a small vial. "How many did you bring me?"

"Enough for two weeks. He must take one before retiring to bed, and only then."

Voldemort brought the vial up towards the light and he eyed the swirling liquid critically. "How much heartstring?"

"Three per patch. Any more and no doubt he would go into cardiac arrest with a simple walk around the gardens."

"Hmm…you say he must take it before bed? May I ask why?" Voldemort said softly and Severus nearly rolled his eyes. How the Dark Lord said it, it made it sound as if he, a mere servant, had a choice.

"Of course, my Lord. The heartstring will begin to take affect almost immediately and therefore, he should not do anything…strenuous afterwards. After a nights rest, the affects should have dimmed enough not to cause too much damage."

"Hmm…" Voldemort hummed as he opened the vial and sniffed it. His red eyes narrowed. "It does not smell like I would have imagined…" he mumbled, waiting for an explanation.

Severus' shoulders stiffened. "The potion is rather foul to drink and so I thought it would be…nice to give it a better flavor…"

Thin lips curled into a nasty smile. "How large your heart truly is, Severus," Voldemort said as he stood up and walked towards his Death Eater. "Was it breaking when you made his potion, knowing the affects it would have on the little boy?" Thin fingers grasped Severus' chin and the Potion Master almost flinched.

"How wrong they are to think you do not have a heart," Voldemort mumbled, his red eyes shinning in a manner that was almost mocking. "You have too large a heart. Perhaps your heart is the reason for your treason against me?"

"I would nev-"

"Do not think me a fool, Severus," Voldemort hissed harshly, his grip against Severus's face tightening. "Do not think me a fool. I know, I know of your lose of faith. When did it happen? When did you stop being my sweet little Severus?"

"When was I ever your sweet little Severus, my Lord?"

Voldemort chuckled, "Never. You were always Lucius' sweet little thing, but you were at times my favorite. How could you not? But you betray me, and for what? For a group of fools?"

"I have never betrayed you, My Lord."

"Do you know why I still keep you, Severus?"

"I-"

"-Because you are more valuable alive than dead. Besides, I know there are other spies in my ranks and no doubt most, if not all, report to Dumbledore. Your reports are mostly useless and do not cover anything he would not already know through his other spies. Also, with you, here, taking "care" of the brat, you can tell them in great detail of Potter's transformation. Of his love for me! Won't that be wonderful, Severus?"

"Of course," Severus said and Voldemort frowned. "You are no fun, Severus, when you do not show a hint of emotion."

The Dark Lord moved away and sat behind his desk without another word.

"My Lord…?"

"Do know that the moment you betray me fully, I will break Lucius in two, have Narcissa tortured and their son will become my Death Eater plaything," Voldemort mumbled idly, as if they were speaking about the weather.

Severus felt a shiver run through him but he bowed and let the words passed his lips, "I expect nothing less, My Lord. Rest assured I will never betray your trust."

Voldemort snorted mockingly, "For your lover's sake, I hope you are saying the truth."

--

Celino's eyes filled with tears as they stared at his husband and Nott felt his heart tightened and stretch.

"Please, love, please do not cry," he mumbled as he walked towards his lean spouse, his hands grasping Celino's face. "Please do not cry…"

"_Eres tan malo! Un maldito! No me quieres, no me quieres! Solamente me quieres__-_ because I look good attached to your side!" Celino finished and those tears fell, staining his cheek.

"No, no, please, that's not true, please," Lord Nott continued to mutter as he wiped away those tears, "I love you, I do…please…"

"You- you cage me! You- you hate my family and my previous life, did you not fall in love with my while I danced?"

"Yes, and I fell in love with you when you spoke to me, when you yelled at me for torturing that man that loved you, when you smiled at me. I fell in love with you many times but you are no longer Celino of the Gypsy, you are my spouse, part of the Nott family. I will not have you acting like some house-elf, you are much better than that!"

"I was- was not better than that while I was growing up!" Celino hissed, "I was part of a large family, I danced when I wished and sang when I wished! I am tired of-"

"Do you not love me, Celino? Has your love for me shriveled and blossomed into hate? Do you wish to leave me? Is that it?" Nott asked as he pulled away from Celino, his dark eyes filling with pain.

Celino stared at his husband with something close to shock. His eyes widened and with a sudden zeal, he nearly slammed his self against his husband as he wrapped his arms around him in an almost desperate manner. "_No, por favor, no! Yo te amor! No te odio! Crea__ me!"_

"You hate me for caging you, you don't-" Nott continued as he tried to pry off his spouse but Celino simply tightened his hold.

"No! Please, no! Don't say such things, I love you!" Celino whispered almost harshly as he leaned against the larger man even more and kissed Nott on the lips. The man stood tense and did not respond to the kiss and Celino let out a small sob as he pulled away and stared up at the large man with pleading, pale eyes.

"You are the one that does not love me!" Celino finally said. "You wish to leave me! You do! You tire of me." His voice cracked and his accent came out thick. He stepped further away, his arms encircling himself as he walked towards the far side of their room.

"Celino, you know that is not true," Nott said slowly, "I love you-"

"You do not care for me at all! You-"

"Neither do you!" Nott snapped, his gravelly voice coming out harsh. Celino flinched at the cold tone. "You are my spouse! Mine! You are no longer the son of a Chief or the fiancé of a neighbor; you are mine, part of _**my**_ family! You are not some wild animal! You are-"

"You wish to change me!" Celino accused, "You love a part of me that does not exist!"

"No, I love every part of your but you must realize, after so many years, Celino that you cannot do whatever you wish! You must have some class!"

Celino whimpered as he closed his eyes and Nott sighed as he walked towards his spouse. He wrapped his large arms around the thin male and brought him closer to his chest. "Please, Celino? You were doing so well…"

"_Amo_…"

"I love you…" Nott whispered as he kissed the top of the head. "I love you very much…" his voice had that certain edge to it, the certain edge that had people changing the subject while in Lord Nott's presence and just like their son Theodore, Celino knew it well and did the wisest thing. He went along with it.

"I- _yo también_…please _amo_, can you love me now?"

Nott felt his lips tug into a smirk, "Hmm, does my love miss my warmth?"

"I miss my husband…" Celino said softly. He loved his husband dearly, more than he loved his family and his once wild and free life; reason why it took nearly eighteen years for him to confront his husband about his "cage". Maybe in another decade or so, he would bring up the subject once more.

--

I know, it's awfully short but I'm not too inspired right now and I wanted to get this out to you guys! So I'm planning on having "**Jade**" cut into two or maybe three parts!

Sorry! Next chapter will be my regular length, promise!

Anyway, don't be too cruel to me and I hope you guys review! Oh, no this is not Voldemort/Severus on the side. Tommy just knows how to push Severus' bottom and he's looking for a certain reaction from the Potion Master. Anyway, hope you guys liked it!

Oh, this isn't beta so sorry for any mistakes!

**Translations**:

"_Eres tan malo! Un maldito! No me quieres, no me quieres! __Solamente me quieres-_ because I look good attached to your side!" - "You're so mean! A 'bastard'! You don't love me, you don't love me! You only like me - because I look good attached to your side".

The term _maldito_ doesn't really mean "bastard." It means more like "damned person, cursed person, etc." Depending on which country, it can be very insulting.

--

"_No, por favor, no! Yo te amor! No te odio! __Crea me!" – _"No, please, no! I love you! I don't hate you! Believe me!"

--

"_Amo_…" – can mean "Master" or "Lord" or a term describing the head of the family.

--

"I- _yo también_…please _amo_, can you love me now?" – "I- Me too…please, 'master', can you love me?"


	9. Jade: Part II

**-Love and Forget: These Loving Memories-  
By: Concubine99**

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Harry Potter or its context.

**Warning(s):** Slash, Amnesia, **Sexual Context**, Angst, Mpreg, Language, Underage -Harry's sixteen-

**Main Paring: **Tom Riddle(Voldemort)/Harry Potter

**Side Pairings**: Sirius/Remus, Severus/Lucius, Draco/Blaise, Ron/Hermione,

**Summary: **Harry's memories are gone but he's gained an imaginary life with three friends who have their own drama and a lover- a Tom who's known by the world as the Dark Lord Voldemort.

**Beta**:

**A/N**: _Please do read all the ending notes and the A/N's I put up. They may be long but a lot of the information is important!_

* * *

**Jade: Part II  
**_Like the plants around us, like his soft words_

* * *

Theodore, for as long as he could remember, could speak Spanish. Ever since his sixth birthday, he's taken private lessons; to…uh…_improve_ his Spanish. Nowadays, his Spanish tended to sound slightly haughty with enough grace to convince just about everyone that he was born speaking the language.

Yet that disturbed him on many levels. His papa did not speak Spanish as he did, not as "correctly", although it was his first language. It was choppy, with loose sentences and although he used every verb in their correct form (usually anyway), he tended not to pronounce the whole word fully. He sometimes said things in such an…awkward manner. At least to Theodore who had been train since little in the "proper" pronunciation of the Spanish language. Celino tended to speak…well, as if he was from the Caribbean. Mind you, that was not supposed to be an _insult_.

Just like Theodore knew the English he spoke was most definitely not the same that was spoken in America, it was the same with Spain and Latin America, or the Caribbean.

He once took a vacation to the Dominican Republic with his dad and he noticed that he felt…well…out of place. Everyone around him spoke Spanish but not in the way he learned it. Their R's tended to sound more like L's or sometimes the other way around. Not to mention that they sometimes cut their S's from the end of their words, sometimes more than just one letter from the ending.

Theodore had noticed quite quickly that his papa tended to speak a lot like them. Down to the hurried manner his words spilled out to his almost casual and colloquial terms. Everything was nearly the same except his father didn't wave his arms around so much when he talked nor did it come out so loud and…lively.

Now, Theodore could understand why his dad spoke as he did. Although he had lived in Spain for most of his life, and although his family was pure of blood, they had traveled up and down the country, living with other Gypsies. He never learned the correct and proper way to pronounce his words nor the more…detailed and exact rules. And yet…Theodore wished he was like that. He wished his dad had taught him the language, not a sixty-something old woman who tended to glare whenever he conjugated a verb wrong. Even though _technically_ it wasn't wrong, she was just being fucking picky.

He wished his dad could go to Spain and see his family once more. Some relatives traveled to their manor in secret and his dad often had small gatherings behind his father's back and Theodore usually turned a blind eye.

At least when his father was out of the country.

They loved each other and his father tended to become possessive and his dad tended to smile sadly and let his father have his way. Usually. But every now and then, they would have a row and his dad's temper would spark and no matter where he went in the house, he would be able to hear his shouts and his magic getting the best of him as he destroyed whatever room he was currently in.

His-

"Young master," a voice called out and he turned, his eyes falling on a shivering house-elf. Now, this one, he never understood. His family treated the house-elves…fairly. His father rarely physically punished any of them and his dad always smiled and thanked them. Yet he couldn't understand why this particular house-elf always quivered like a leaf in autumn whenever he appeared before him. Was he truly that frightening?

"Yes, what is it?"

"Mr. Zabini is wishing to speak to young master."

"Hmm, where is he?"

"Downstairs, young master."

"Alright, I'll be down there shortly."

"Yes, yes, Hizzy go tell him!" it said hurriedly and disappeared before Theodore could blink. He rolled his eyes as he ran a hand through his hair in something close to annoyance.

Today was not a good day to try and sympathy with Blaise. He did not have any personal experience with what Blaise was going through; he didn't have experience liking anyone period.

Theodore tended to sit alone in a corner, rarely approaching others for company and the Slytherin rarely spoke to him. He did not belong to any gang and although Draco and he could be considered friends, Draco knew he could never order Theodore around like he could order Crabbe or Goyle.

Blaise and Theodore were closer simply because they liked the same things, they had similar personalities but enough differences to make their friendship last and not frustrating.

"What do you want Blaise?" he asked as he descended the spiraling staircase.

"The Dark Lord summoned Draco; we best join him."

Theodore would have rolled his eyes if his father was not standing next to the dark-skinned boy.

"Alright," he finally said, "Father, are you taking us?"

"Of course," he said slowly, as if debating something in his head. "Come, come. I don't have all day."

"Where's papa?" Theodore asked as he reached them. Nott placed his large hands on each of their shoulder, his lips tugging into a smirk. "He's still recovering," Nott replied and Theodore would have cringed if they had not apparated at that moment.

* * *

Harry decided he liked Nagini, although she tended to nag a bit and liked to tell him stories about her eating habits. She had a sense of humor at times that had him laughing until his sides hurt, but then again, she was a regular around him. Tom was often busy doing who knows what and besides that day when he woke up without memory, he had not seen anyone else in the manor, except well, today when he saw Severus…and perhaps a few times when he saw a walking figure pass through the hallways.

It's not like it mattered. Those figures never talked to him, they barely nodded in greeting. So he was lonely. And bored. He meant to ask Tom about a library so at least he could do something besides stare at the wall and sleep but every time he opened his mouth to ask, Tom would interrupt him and before he knew it, he was distracted.

If he didn't know better, he would think Tom knew what he was going to ask and stopped him from asking intentionally. Of course, that was absurd. Why would Tom do that, there was no reason to. At least, he didn't-

_Your friend is coming this way…_

Harry snapped out of his musing at the low hissing. He looked up and sure enough, Draco strode towards them with a slight pensive look.

"I hear the Dark Lord took you to France," Draco commented as soon as his butt touched the seat next to Harry.

Harry gave him a sweet smile. "Yes, I had fun. We walked around the small area, we ate at this small café and then there was this man who painted us! We did a little shopping and he bought me new shoes. Is it true that I leave my shoes everywhere? That's what Tom says and how he says it makes me think I can never find them…"

"You are rather absentminded…"

"Really?"

"Hm…you tend to forget where you've placed everything and such. Severus says you'd loose your head if it wasn't attached."

"Severus, you know, he was here today."

"Hmm…I know. He contacted my father and I came along. Blaise and Theodore should be on their way…"

"He's my…he's my healer and my instructor."

"Yes, I know."

"Is my heart truly that bad…I haven't felt anything-"

"Consider yourself lucky," Draco mumbled as he twirled a strand of his blonde hair. This was a dangerous ground…

"Draco?"

"Hmm?"

"You alright? You seem rather distracted…"

"I'm fine…"

"You sure?"

"Hmm, just tired," Draco said softly but Harry felt that there was something missing.

"Aren't we best friends, Draco?"

"Yes, of course!"

"Then why are you lying to me?" Harry asked with a small frown and serious eyes. The blond boy was taken back by the expression and for a moment, he didn't know what he should do.

"I- My parents fought is all."

"Oh…about what?"

Draco swallowed the snappy remark he had on his tongue, remembering his duties, his role in this plan.

"About Severus."

"About Severus, why?" Harry said with confusion. Draco gave a painful smile. "You don't remember that either?"

"Remember what?"

"My father is having an affair with Severus. For a long time…since…well since I was a baby."

"What!" Harry whispered, stunned.

Draco laughed yet it held no mirth. "Hm…They loved each other, since their own Hogwarts days but my father's father married him off to my mother. He tried to distance himself from Severus and Severus understood but my father only lasted until I was one year old before he went back to Severus…"

"I'm- I'm sorry."

"Don't be…as cold as this may seem, my mother is not the only victim and it is partly her fault. They belonged together, Severus and my father…"

"I-"

"But like I said, love isn't as simple…not like with you and the Dark Lord," Draco said with a twisted smirk that had Harry fidgeting. "I'm sorry…"

"Like I said, don't be. You once knew all this…"

"I'm not a good friend, am I?" Harry said sadly, "I'm brining up stuff that hurts you, selfish isn't it?"

"Harry-"

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry that you have to be in the middle of all that…" Harry suddenly smiled, "But let's not talk about that! How are you and Blaise?"

Draco's mouth opened in surprise but that did not stop the blush that colored his cheeks. "That- uh…"

Harry's smile widened. "Ohh, did something happen?"

"Nothing happened. Nothing will ever happen!"

Harry simply giggled. "That blush is-"

"Shut up!"

"Oh! Something did happen!"

"I-"

"Tell me!"

"Ever heard about the cat that got killed because of its curiosity?"

"Lucky me, I'm not a cat."

"Harry-" he whined.

"Draco-" Harry mimicked with a lopsided grin.

"Fine, he let me have some of the cargo that his father sent him, alright?"

"Is that all?"

"Well no- I mean-"

"Come on! Tell me!"

Draco stared at the boy in something close to shock. He always assumed that Harry Potter was that type of character who could not stand _not_ knowing. The type of person whose curiosity just ate away at him until it was satisfied; reason why he always, always got into so much trouble. For some reason, having someone ask him about his social life made him feel warm inside. True, there was Blaise but he, more often than not, was the source of what he wished he could rant about.

Like how he-

"He kissed me…"

"When? Did you like it?"

Draco glared, "Of course I liked it," he hissed. "This is Blaise we're talking about! Have you seen him? He exudes sexuality! He's a fabulous kisser and-" he groaned as he hid his face into his hands. "What am I going to do? I can't- I can't! Father _forbids_ it! But oh God! But every time he kisses me, I-"

"He's kissed you before?"

"Of course he has!" Draco growled in a way that showed his frustration and Harry was startled for he resembled a real dragon at that moment. "Of course he has. He-"

"Coming this way," Harry interrupted as his eyes fell upon the dark figure of Blaise Zabini and the thin figure of Theodore Nott.

"Harry, Draco," Blaise mumbled in greeting and Harry felt his lips twitch as he noticed just how he said Draco's name.

"Hi," he said with a wave. Nagini hissed something in his ear and Harry shrugged.

"So, Harry, how was your date?" Draco asked, giving Harry a significant look. Theodore raised an eyebrow in question. "You went on a date?"

"Yes, we went to Paris!" Harry said with a nice smile. "It was lovely and fun! Oh! We even got our portrait painted. Come to think of it, I haven't seen any other portraits…"

"You haven't seen the whole manor yet, Harry," Draco reminded with a sidelong glance towards where Theo and Blaise sat.

"Tom said the same thing…"

"Hmmm, do you not trust the Dark Lord?" Blaise asked and Harry stared at him in shock.

"Why would you ask that?"

Blaise shrugged. "It just seems you ask questions that the Dark Lord has already answered…"

"I-"

"Don't listen to Blaise," Theodore said smoothly, "He's always been this abrupt and skeptical. We all are in a way, Blaise more however; a refreshing personality, I would think, to all those other followers who nod and agree to whatever you wish for in fear that the Dark Lord will gobble them up."

Harry felt his lips twitch. "I do trust Tom it's just…I feel like he's keeping a lot from me…like he's not telling me everything he should be and it's just so…so frustrating! He goes to these meetings and I have no idea what they are about and-" he sighed. "I'm just tired of not knowing…"

"You don't want to know, Harry. Trust me," Draco said slowly. "You support the Dark Lord in his choices but you are not a person who really likes civil wars…"

"I just don't know anything. His followers barely talk to me! I say hi, they mumble and run off as if I have the plague! He's rarely around! I don't know where the kitchens are, where the library is, where anything besides our chambers and the bloody dinning room is and I don't even eat there! I feel like-"

"Harry-"

"_No_. Nothing is adding up!" Harry cried out and Nagini slid off him and shifted away from him and towards the house. "I want to know what's going on. I'm not an invalid."

"He's just worried," Theodore mumbled in a smoothing manner and Harry felt his irritating grow. "Will you stop talking to me like I'm a three year old about to have a temper tantrum!"

"You are having a temper tantrum," Blaise said with a roll of his eyes.

Harry growled. "Oh yeah? When was the last time you were in a house you don't know, with a lover you don't recognize? Uh? You ever wake up and don't remember barely anything besides you're a fucking boy and certain useless details? I don't remember a damn fucking spell; I didn't even remember my name! So you know what? I can have a fucking temper tantrum if I want to! Especially when I'm being dismissed and lied to!"

"Harry, please- we're not-"

"Like hell you aren't!" Harry nearly screamed as he stood up. "You're not telling me anything! All you do is tell me to trust the Tom, this and that, stupid shit I don't care or need or want to know! You know what? I'm tired of this! Until you can sit down and tell me something useful, like why we're at war, who are my parents, _**useful**_ shit, don't bother coming over!"

His magic seemed to crack around and him and only when he left in angry and loud steps, did it seem like the air was breathable. Draco let out a sigh and Theodore massaged a temple with shaky hands. Blaise, at best could be considered curious.

"Nice going Blaise," Draco mumbled with a dark look towards his friend who merely shrugged. "Not my fault he can't control his emotions."

"Theo, you alright?"

"No, I'm not," he growled and his eyes seemed to have darkened. They were not the pale color that shocked many but a deep blue, similar to the sky just around twilight.

"Damn it, Theo," Draco sighed as he walked towards his friend and his pale hands cupped his cheeks. "You need to breathe, alright? Breathe, let his magic leave you."

"I'm trying," he growled. "But my magic is blocking it from leaving…" he said as he let out a long breath.

"Blaise, help me, please," Draco said with a pleading glance towards the dark-skinned boy. Blaise was already at their side by the time Draco finished his request and his large hand fell upon Theo's shoulder.

He closed his eyes and with a large, long exhale, he let his magic leak out. Blaise's magic had a smoothing affect and Theodore could feel Harry's magic leave him, slowly, smoothly. He opened his eyes and they were normal once more, a pale blue that was a shade away from being white.

"I hate this ability," Theodore mumbled as he ran a hand through his hair. Draco smirked. "Hey, it's not all bad. You're just not used to raw magic…"

"We need to warn the Dark Lord."

"Warn me about what? That the damn boy has gone completely ballistic no doubt because of something one of you said?"

Their attention snapped towards the figure glaring at them with enough force to make them cringe.

"My Lord-" Severus began but Voldemort waved a hand in a gesture for silence. "I do not wish to hear it. Take them home, Lucius. My patience is thin and I do not wish to speak to them."

"Of course."

Only when they were alone, the four wizards gone by apparition, did Severus speak. "I doubt it was there fault entirely, My Lord. Potter has a temper and-"

"Severus, shut up," he snapped in a way that seemed both annoyed and amused. "From what Nagini said, the boy was upset since he reached the gardens…"

"What do-"

"Let's go. I must calm the boy down before he rips apart my manor."

* * *

Ripping apart he was. Anything he got his hand on he let it go flying, shattering to pieces against walls and other furniture. He let his wild magic destroy everything he couldn't lift up and throw himself.

His mild felt hazy and images and feelings swirled in his head, nothing concentrate for whenever he felt he had it, it would slip from his grasp as if it were water. And that pissed him off more than anything else.

"Harry! Stop this!" a voice cried out and he turned and threw the vase at whoever had spoken. There was a curse and a crash as the vase barely missed Severus' head and shattered against the opposite wall.

"Harry," Tom mumbled, his red eyes cold enough to have Harry pause in his destruction. "What?" he asked childishly and Tom felt his lips twitch as he took in the sight of the angry boy.

"Are you finished destroying our home?" he asked and Harry seemed to deflate. Tom walked towards the smaller wizard and wrapped his arms around him. "I'm sorry," Harry mumbled and Tom patted his back. "Do not worry. The house-elves will deal with the mess. Do you feel better?"

"No," Harry mumbled but his grip on Tom's robes tightened and he dug himself against the Tom further.

"Harry…"

"I just wish you would tell me the truth, stop evading questions and acting as if I was an invalid!"

Tom gave a reassuring smile. "I'm sorry…is that what I have been doing? I just do not wish to…overload you with useless information."

"You've been giving me nothing _but_ useless information!" Harry hissed as tried pulling away. Tom did not release his grip. "Harry…I have delayed giving you information simply because I feared for your heart."

"Don't lie to me!"

"It is no lie!" Tom hissed angrily, his smile slipping and a scowl twisting his features. "But it seems it was a useless attempt. The very fact that I kept information from you in an attempt to protect you has simply put you in danger…"

"Tom-"

"Your heart cannot take so much stress, Harry…" Severus cut in. "Having wild temper tantrums without your medicine is dangerous." He took out a small vial and gave it a small shake. "Lucky for you, I have finished making the replacement for the ones which were destroyed."

"Do you know what that means, Harry?" Tom said, his smile back as he caressed Harry's face. "It seems no more lies or evasions. I will tell you the truth…" Tom's words did not truly calm him, quite the contrary, it made his heart twist and his stomach tie into knots.

* * *

I'm so sorry for the late update! I know it's short but hopefully the third part will be out soon!

Thank you for all who have reviewed!

NOT BETAED!!!!


	10. Jade: Part III

**-Love and Forget: These Loving Memories-  
By: Concubine99**

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Harry Potter or its context.

**Warning(s):** Slash, Amnesia, **Sexual Context**, Angst, Mpreg, Language, Underage -Harry's sixteen-

**Main Paring: **Tom Riddle(Voldemort)/Harry Potter

**Side Pairings**: Sirius/Remus, Severus/Lucius, Draco/Blaise, Ron/Hermione,

**Summary: **Harry's memories are gone but he's gained an imaginary life with three friends who have their own drama and a lover- a Tom who's known by the world as the Dark Lord Voldemort.

**A/N**: _Please do read all the ending notes and the A/N's I put up. They may be long but a lot of the information is important!

* * *

_

**Jade: Part III**_  
Like the green powder, like the familiar light_

Tom took him back towards their room, his hand on his lower back and their steps soft. They reached the bed and Harry silently sat down on the bed, his legs crossing as he leaned against the headboard. "So…I have a potion to take…" he mumbled and Tom smiled as he placed the vial on the nightstand.

"No…you only take it right before you go to sleep," Tom said as he caressed a cheek. "Works better that way."

Harry simply grumbled, his gaze on his hands that rested on his lap. Tom watched the boy cautiously, taking in the cheeks, the lips, his even breathing.

"Harry…" he called out softly and the boy looked up from his lap and into Tom's eyes. "You must know how I feel. I do not try to intentionally evade information or keeps things from you."

"But you still do," Harry said softly. "And I'm tired of it. What you said in the hallway, was that all just to calm me down?"

"No, angel, of course not. I was speaking the truth. I was only trying to protect you and keep you as relaxed as possible. What would you like to know, Harry?"

"Well…" Harry seemed to hesitate. "Why do your servants ignore me? Do they not like me?"

"Of course they like you , angel. They just do not wish to upset you by saying something unsettling."

"Unsettling?"

"Not all your memories are worth remembering."

"But they are still mine and I want them back," Harry argued with a small shake of his head.

Tom gave a sigh, his countenance tortured and miserable. For some reason, the emotions were not as hard to bring into his expression, to feel, as he would have thought. "Alright…alright. As you wish. From now on, anything you ask, I will answer- or try to at least."

Harry gave a breathtaking smile. "Thank you!"

"My pleasure. How do you feel?"

"Tried."

"Yes, you did quite the little stunt today," Tom said with a small smirk.

"I'm sorry," he mumbled, his expression giving away his guilt. "I didn't hurt them, right?"

"No, no. Don't worry. They're doing just fine. A bit shaken up but nothing to worry…except…"

"Except what?"

Tom sighed. "I'm not surprised you do not remember but…young Nott-"

"Theodore?"

"Yes, young _Theodore_…well, you see, Harry, he has a special ability. Just like his bearer."

"Which is?"

"Celino Nott is quite the powerful wizard mainly because of his unique ability. He has the ability to absorb energy and then use it as he wishes- or expels it if he wishes to also. In other words, he can pull a spell apart and leave it virtually just normal energy. He either uses it or dispels it from his body."

"And Theo can do that?"

"Yes and no," Tom said as he pushed a strand of hair behind Harry's ear. "Such a talent requires years to master. Theodore still has much to learn, so I do ask you to try and refrain from such magical outburst around him, yes?"

"Oh…I- I didn't know…" the guilt still colored his cheeks. "He's alright…right?"

"Yes, quite. Your other two friends helped him out."

"I'll try. I was just so angry…"

"You have good reason," Tom assured with a small kiss on Harry's hand. "Is there anything else troubling you, petite?"

"How- how did we meet? You said you saved me but…what relation did I have to you…how did you know my parents, exactly, and the wizard that killed my parents, what is his name?"

Thoughts swirled around him, possible lies and scenarios that he could use on Harry until a rather brilliant one seemed to appear in the front of his mind.

"His name was Dumbledore," Tom said softly and with _tragic_ eyes. "Albus Dumbledore. Many think him a saint, a great wizard with unwavering morals but that is all a lie. He does everything behind closed doors; kills, bribes, tricks and blackmails. He does whatever he needs to so as to keep the public unaware of his true actions. Your friends have told you of the Order, correct?"

"Yes," Harry said softly as he recalled the bitter way Draco talked about the Order.

Tom nodded. "Dumbledore is the one who runs the Order and he is the Minister's puppeteer. He has managed to make most of the population afraid of me and that alone makes this civil war more difficult than it already is. Your parents had learned of Dumbledore's lies and had learned that one of their best friends worked for Dumbledore as a spy. They approached me, despite the fact that they had learned to fear me and eventually decided to help in the revolution. I learned from Severus that Dumbledore planned on having them killed and then blame it on me. I went as quickly as I could to stop him…but I arrived too late to help them but with enough time to save you." Tom had looked away at some point, his countenance twisted in guilt and anger. "They were…good people and served the revolution well for nearly eleven years. I knew Dumbledore would wish to kill you so as to sever all loose ties involving the killing of your family so I decided to hide you…I was going to charge you to one of my followers but…something made me change my mind. Perhaps it was your eyes," he turned and gave Harry a small smile that was tentatively returned. "And in the end, you started living here. You grew on me like nothing or anyone else. I started to love you and then you kissed me…" he gave a small laugh and Harry simply blushed.

"It's not funny," Harry said softly with a small glare that lacked any heat.

"No, it isn't but I remember that memory fondly," Tom said with a smile that quickly left as his countenance turned serious once more. "Dumbledore took something you greatly loved and I did not wish to have you remember. Perhaps I was being foolish, but I wanted you, if only for a little while, ignorant of all your suffering and past troubles. Forgive this old man…"

Harry couldn't help but giggle. "Old, huh?"

"Well, I am rather aged…" Tom said, the smile returning. "Does that laugh mean you forgive me, Harry?"

"Of course, Tom," Harry said as he reached out and wrapped his arms around Tom's neck. "I understand…and thank you. I won't ask anything else today…but when I do, you will tell me, yes?"

"_Yes," _Tom hissed as he reached out and grasped Harry's face in his warm hands. He leaned down and kissed the boy gently, softly. "Anything for you, Harry."

* * *

Severus did not know why the Dark Lord had ordered him to stay despite the fact he had only come to deliver the potion. He did not wish to stay any longer than truly necessary. Watching the Dark Lord lie so skillfully at the boy was truly a despicable scene, a scene that made his stomach tie into knots and yet he had contributed to the lying. How could he does this, why did he continue to do this?

It was too much. It-

"Severus," Lord Voldemort called out and Severus turned, his face once more a passive countenance. "Yes?" he mumbled, knowing if he spoke more than just a syllable that his anger and resentment would show.

"You have done well," the Dark Lord said with a twisted smile. "Little Potter believes me more than ever!"

"My pleasure," Severus muttered, his eyes on the wall behind the Dark Lord.

"Ah, I see you are filled with resentment, yes?"

"No, never, my Lord," Severus said as he snapped his gaze from the wall. "It seems I am more tired than I originally thought."

"Really?" Voldemort said with a small, mocking laugh. "You are loosing your edge, Severus. You used to lie so beautifully."

Severus simply gave a small bow, knowing there was nothing he could truly say towards the Dark Lord's comment. He wondered, not for the first time, why the Dark Lord would risk having him here if he suspected him a traitor. He had never done that before; traitors were usually dealt with swiftly by the Dark Lord himself.

He mentally shrugged. He was not going to complain about being alive, not just yet.

"I must ask a favor of you, Severus," Tom said, his voice stating that this was anything but a favor.

"Anything, sir."

"Harry will soon have more liberty in the manor and it would be odd if he did not see any pictures of him or me through the years. There is a painter we came across during our little…rendezvous who truly showed talent. I doubt anyone would miss him," Severus, for a moment, thought the Dark Lord was ordering to have the painter killed but the thought was dismissed a second later when the Dark Lord finished his thought. "I wish for you to bring him here."

"As you wish," Severus said with a small bow.

"Good," the dark wizard mumbled. "He will no doubt be near the little café, Harry and I visited. Take him, discreetly, of course. My Pensieve has a scene with him." Voldemort turned, his want already established and he left the study, his destination unknown to the spy.

It was only when Severus returned from the scene in the Pensieve that he realized the Dark Lord had called the Boy-Who-Lived by his first name and without an ounce of mockery.

* * *

Retrieving the painter had taken much less effort than Severus had thought it would for the painter did not resist nor asked any panicked questions. The Dark Lord sat on his throne-like chair, his expression bored as he took in the painter and Severus a few feet away.

"He did not cause any trouble, I hope," Voldemort asked with a smirk and narrowed eyes.

"No," Severus said, "He did not even resist."

"And why is that, painter?" Voldemort asked as he turned his gaze to the silent man.

"I knew no harm would come to me," the painter said with a simple smile. "No use struggling really, I was never truly a strong wizard."

"Rather smart of you."

"Thank you…Tom."

The Dark Lord's eyes narrowed in anger and a hiss left him as ne stood up, his magic at once palpable in the air. "You shall not call me that, you fool or your stay here will be filled with a level of pain unimaginable!"

Severus felt a shiver run through him as Voldemort's anger caressed his skin and at that moment, he felt a wave of pity for the painter.

The painter seemed unfazed however as he simply smiled but bowed his head in perhaps a manner of apology. "Forgive me. It is just I remember your young lover calling you such. I meant no disrespect, sir."

Severus's surprise showed in his face when it seemed Voldemort was willing to accept the apology without retribution of any kind. He let himself fall back onto the thrown, a frown still in place but his anger not quite as wild as before.

"Be careful that you show more respect next time, painter. You are one of many."

"Yes, yes…I understand. What would you like for me to do, sire?"

"To paint," Voldemort said with a roll of his eyes. "What else?"

The painter laughed. "You will come to learn, sire, that I can do much more than paint."

The Dark Lord did not ask what he meant, although his gaze showed he would ask soon enough.

"My…lover…wishes for more paintings of us, so I will let you paint such portraits. They must vary however, and it must span within the last five years, from where he was eleven to now. I will have some memories of him at a younger age available to you. Make the portraits different sizes and give some a feeling of age or tear; I want it to be realistic."

"Hm, it can be done."

"Luckily for you," was the Dark Lord's response.

* * *

The painter resided in the farthest room away from where Harry rested, his room magically locked. No one but the Dark Lord came to visit and it was only to check on the painter's progress.

His food was delivered to him and a small bathroom was connected to the room. He rarely spoke to the dark wizard and the dark wizard rarely said anything to him. The painter showed no fear when around the Dark Lord and that fact alone puzzled and annoyed the older wizard more than anything else.

However, it could not be denied that the painter was good at his job. His paintings always left The Dark Lord nearly breathless in their beauty and intimacy. If he had been a stranger, he truly would have believed that love existed between the two wizards painted.

He walked out of the painter's room, his thoughts unnaturally calm and reflective. He was going soft, he decided as he reached their room. Not even a painter feared him.

It was nearing the middle of July, the sun warming the air in a way that only occurs in the summer. Harry had taken to going outside, the gardens seeming to become his favorite place and perhaps that alone was the only reason why Voldemort ordered the house-elves to continue their maintenance. He was not sure why they had even started. One day, he had walked past the window that overlooked the garden and was surprised to see that the once dead and wilted garden had started to bloom and turn green. It had not bothered him and the greening garden had left his thoughts quickly enough so he never truly got the chance to ask the house-elves about it.

It was because he knew by then Harry's schedule and his love for the garden, that he was surprised to see the smaller wizard in their room.

"Harry? What are you doing here?"

"It's our room, Tom," the boy said absently as he sat on the windowsill, his gaze on something from outside.

"I'm well aware of that but usually you are outside."

"I didn't feel like it…" Harry mumbled. "It's too sunny. I want it to rain…"

"You can't go outside if it rains, Harry."

"Who says? I want to go outside while it's raining," Harry said mulishly, his green eyes narrowed. "Is it possible to make it rain? Severus is still focusing on Potions and defensive spells…" Harry mumbled, referring to his daily studies with the Potion Master.

"It is possible…but not how nature does it. Better to wait-"

"I don't want to wait!"

"Harry-"

"Make it rain," Harry nearly ordered as he turned towards his suppose lover. "I want to play in the rain."

"Harry, I'm not going to-"

"Forget it! I'll just stand under the shower!" Harry snapped as he walked past the dark wizard and towards the restroom. Tom's snapped out of his surprise, anger burning his chest as he grabbed Harry's forearm and turned him around. "What is your problem!?"

"You!" Harry snapped back. "Let go of me!"

"Kitten-"

"Don't call me that! You can't just pacify me with a petname!"

"I'm not trying to although you're acting like a spoiled child!"

"I _am_ a child! Our have you forgotten, I'm bloody fifteen!"

"Yes, hard to forget with your temper tantrums!" Tom snapped back.

"Many of which you cause!" Harry nearly yelled, his face red and his voice cracking in the end. "Sometimes I can't even believe that we're together!"

Tom stiffened, his eyes narrowed and despite all the anger, he could not understand why such a comment stung. "Really? The thought also circles around my mind when I see just how irritating and childish you truly are!"

"Well then, I'm sorry that you and I do not have a _mature_ relationship!" Harry said with sarcasm, his eyes shinning with hurt. "Why don't you just leave me and go after one of your whores!"

"Excuse me!" Tom said asked with a small amount of disbelief and bewilderment. "Do you care to explain what you mean by that?"

"Forget it," Harry said through gritted teeth as he finally managed to pull away from Tom's grasp. "Just forget I mentioned anything!"

"No," Tom snapped, "I will not. You will explain yourself and your comment this instant, Harry."

"I don't need to tell you anything," Harry said softly, his eyes staring at Tom's chest as it was the most interesting thing in the world. "There's nothing to tell…" Yet his eyes were collecting tears and his voice cracked.

"Harry," Tom tried again, his voice no longer filled with irritation but was soft and nearly gentle as he tilted Harry's head so he could look into those green eyes. "What's wrong, kitten? Please tell me; I cannot fix it if you don't tell me…"

"Well…if what that woman said…you already knew and never tried fixing it," Harry said and a small sob left him.

"Who? And what, Harry?" Tom urged on, his fingers caressing a cheek and wiping away a tear.

"That woman- that Bellatrix!" Harry finally snapped. "You're having an affair with her!"

"Excuse me," Tom said incredulously as he eyes widened and his mouth opened slightly. "Did I hear you correctly? You think I'm having an affair with-"

"She told me!" Harry finally cried out, "I am too young, too inexperience! You've had an affair with her long before you ever started a relationship with me…and you couldn't just simply let her go just because you were starting a relationship with a _child_."

"Harry…you can't-"

"Is it true that I knew about your relationship with her and I finally confronted you just before I was kidnapped? That it was because of the argument, the fact that you were so angry and I was so betrayed that the Order managed to get me? Was it out of guilt that you retrieved me from them? Well, is it?!"

"No," Tom finally managed to say, his voice hoarse. "That is not true. I have never, _never_ betrayed your trust, Harry. Never. You…you mean the world to me…do you not realize that?"

"I-" Harry let out a sob. "I can't remember anything! Not our past relationships, nothing! So when she told me that you loved her enough to keep her around, I could not say that was not true, I could not say you love me more than her, that I never confronted you! How could I, when I cannot remember?"

"Harry…my dear, beautiful Harry," Tom nearly cried out as he pulled the younger wizard towards his chest and enveloped him in a tight hug as he stroked Harry's hair. "I care only for you. Do you not remember what I told you that day you woke up without your memories? I told you that you were the only one I loved in this world and I meant it. Never doubt such a thing! Bellatrix…Bellatrix was lying to you, alright? She could never compare to you. She's not worth half of what you are and I would never have an affair with her. She will get hers for lying to you, believe me!"

"Do you really mean it? You're not lying, are you?"

"No, Harry, I'm not. I swear…I've never betrayed you," the words left his mouth without difficulty and yet for some reason they felt bitter in his mouth and an uncomfortable feeling twisted his gut. "You are my greatest treasure and I would not hurt you in such a way. I will repeat this to you as many times as it takes…"

"No…no…I- I believe you," Harry mumbled as he dug his face into Tom's chest. "I believe you Tom…only you!"

"Oh my beautiful Harry," Tom whispered, his eyes closing, "I do not deserve you…" Harry pulled away slightly and Tom leaned down and gave Harry a tender kiss.

"I love you," Harry whispered once they separated.

It was like someone drenched him in cold water. He stared down into those green eyes that still glittered, moisten and beautiful. Harry's cheeks tainted in color as a blush formed and a moment later, his gaze was on the floor. "Did I say something wrong, Tom?" Harry asked rather coyly.

"No," Tom finally snapped out of his surprise. "Of course not. I was simply surprised. I always thought it would take you a while to remember your feelings for me, is all."

Harry smiled. "Oh…ok…" he stretched and stood on his tiptoes before pressing his lips against the dark wizard. "…But I do, you know. I do love you," he touched his chest where he near his heart rested. "My heart…it tells me that I love you."

That bitterness in his mouth grew until he nearly grimaced in distaste but he hid it well as he smiled down at the boy. "I love you too, Harry. I love you like nothing else.'

He leaned and they kissed and it was only the taste of Harry's mouth that drove away the bitterness in his own.

* * *

Oh!!! I'm SOO So sorry for such a late update but really, the plot bunnies seemed to have died for a moment there. Good thing, they came back to life! –smile-

Well, now that I have my vacation coming up, my writing will be more frequent but please remember that I have three active stories, including this one.

I have a somewhat-stable schedule so at least one chapter per month (sometimes more) will be updated for this story, that I can almost guarantee with 100 percent certainty.

Anyway, thanks to those who have reviewed although I have A LOT more hits and people adding me on their alerts/favorite lists than people reviewing but its better than having no one reading it!

Anyway, hope this is satisfying and please do tell me if you guys find ANY mistakes. This has NOT BEEN BETAED and I am awful at editing my OWN stuff.

I'll probably be updating a more edited version later, just so you know! Again, sorry for any really stupid mistakes!

ALSO, this will be the last of the "Jade" parts.

**Next Chapter**: Violet: Like the painted walls, like these satin sheets.


	11. Violet

**-Love and Forget: These Loving Memories-  
By: Concubine99**

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Harry Potter or its context.

**Warning(s):** Slash, Amnesia, **Sexual Context**, Angst, Mpreg, Language, Underage -Harry's sixteen-

**Main Paring: **Tom Riddle(Voldemort)/Harry Potter

**Side Pairings**: Sirius/Remus, Severus/Lucius, Draco/Blaise, Ron/Hermione,

**Summary: **Harry's memories are gone but he's gained an imaginary life with three friends who have their own drama and a lover- a Tom who's known by the world as the Dark Lord Voldemort.

**A/N**: _Please do read all the ending notes and the A/N's I put up. They may be long but a lot of the information is important!

* * *

_

**Chapter Nine  
Violet**_  
Like the painted walls, like these satin sheets_

_----  
_

He could not describe the burning in his chest as he sat on his throne, his minions lined up, many fidgeting as they realized just how angry their Lord truly was.

"Can anyone tell me…" he began softly, "Why Harry Potter is here?"

They were silent, their nervousness growing as their Lord stood up and walked between the two lines. "He's here because I wished it, correct? Because he's to be my tool and my weapon; because he's now _mine_!"

He rounded on a certain Death Eater, his glare turning darker. "So tell me, Bellatrix, what possessed you to plant doubts in the boys HEAD!?" he roared and the woman gave a small whimper. "You could have ruined everything! Everything and for what, please to tell me Bellatrix!"

"My Lord, I was simply putting that boy in his place! He-"

"_Crucio_!!" he snarled, the spell hitting the woman and nearly sending her flying. She fell to the floor, her screams echoing in the roam piercingly. The other Death Eaters shifted away, their eyes trained on the convulsing and screaming witch.

"His place is thinking me his lover, his faithful and loving lover, you twit!" he said over her screams. He prolonged the spell, a malicious gleam entering in his eyes until finally, he stopped the curse. "How is he to trust me when he thinks I've betrayed him with the likes of you," he spat with a look of revolution. "Get up; you look like a swine on the ground."

The woman stood shakily, her whimpers near sobs by then. "I did not mean to, my Lord. I did not mean to displease you!"

He narrowed his eyes. "You have inconvenienced me, Bella and be grateful," Voldemort said as he walked back to his chair. "Be grateful he has believed me and not you, Bella or else your punishment would be much more severe. My trust in you no longer exists! Be grateful, be so very grateful that you have otherwise been a loyal follower…" he let the threat hang, his attention once more on all the Death Eaters and not just on Bellatrix.

"This will be your last warning! If my plans are somehow ruined or damaged because one of you dares to tell the boy something he shouldn't know, you'll suffer a hundred times worse than Bellatrix! Am I clear?"

"Yes," chorused the room.

"Good," he mumbled. "Lucius!"

"Yes?"

"Tell me, has our plan been successful? What did the werewolf pack in the Andes say?"

"They are willing…under one condition."

"Oh?"

"Yes, they ask for the Wolfsbane Potion. They have heard they can obtain control during the transformation and wish it."

"Hm…alright" he turned towards Severus. "How quickly can you brew a patch?"

"It takes a month, sire. Best to buy it."

"Really?"

"Yes…school will be starting soon and Dumbledore still has me making the Wolfsbane for the wolf. Then there's Harry's potion for you, my Lord."

Voldemort gave an annoyed sigh. "Very well. You will deliver the best, any problems with the potions and it will be as if you were the one who did the mistake."

Severus gave a bow. "Of course."

Voldemort shifted his attention towards the Death Eater "And the Ministry, Avery?"

Avery seemed to hesitate for a moment but when he noticed the impatient frown, hurried to speak. "It…has taken longer than expected. Madam Bones has made things…difficult. She and Dumbledore have been swaying the vote of the Wizengamut. However, I have managed to gain three and two will be under our control by tomorrow."

"Next week, I need the Aurors completely distracted," Voldemort said. "I will be…collecting a few essentials from the Unspeakables and I cannot have anyone interfere."

"My Lord…"

"They have something that rightfully belongs to me…something that is also needed for my plan to succeeded," he glared down at Avery. "You will not fail me in this, Avery…do you understand?"

"Yes," Avery said with a shiver, realizing the threat that covered that one statement.

"Luckily, Nott will help you; he has always been good with distracting and luring," he said with an amused smile.

Nott gave a small bow of acknowledgment although he heard the mockery in Voldemort's voice. He was not foolish enough to say anything however. Celino would prefer him alive than for his husband to try and "defend" his honor.

The meeting continued without much further glitch although Voldemort seemed to snap down anything Bellatrix commented, the hand that grasped his wand twitching as if the want of cursing the witch was almost too much.

Severus had intended to leave along with the rest of the crowd but Voldemort stopped him, telling him and Lucius to stay behind. Severus nearly groaned in annoyance. All he wished to do was return home- no he did not live there anymore, he silently reminded himself. Lucius had not been joking when he said Severus would no longer live there.

"Lucius, I want you here, if only so Severus remembers what he is risking," Voldemort said as he stood from his throne. "I care little for traitors unless they benefit me and you, squealing to Dumbledore my plan for the Unspeakables does not in any way, benefit me."

Severus said nothing, letting Voldemort speak but his eyes were trained on the wand that had yet to leave Voldemort's fingers.

"This is one event I will not let you ruin," he stopped walking and narrowed his eyes. "I've been very lenient, very. But I know your talents are hard to come by and Harry has grown quite fond of you…these two reasons alone are what keep you alive." He turned towards Lucius.

"He is not to leave that house you bought him. He is not to contact anyone nor is anyone allowed to visit him. He will stay in that mansion, virtually your prisoner until my plans are executed and only then, if I still feel lenient, will I have you release him."

"My Lord-" Lucius started to protest, his surprise coloring his words.

"No," Voldemort cut in. "If, for some reason he escapes, it will not be your life that is forfeited but that of your son and wife. I will do the pleasure personally and you know I do not show mercy when displeased."

Lucius' shoulders tensed and tightened and he, for moment, did not breathe.

"I would threaten Severus' life but I doubt he cares much for it. Much better to threaten those he cares for," Voldemort said and started to turn. "You two are dismissed."

"Sire-"

"_Dismissed_!" he hissed and after a moment of quiet, they too left.

* * *

The anger he felt, he realized as he sat alone in the dark silence, was not rational. Granted, very rarely was his anger rational but this one; it was almost as if his anger was more at Harry's pain than at the fact that Bellatrix could have irreversibly destroyed his plans.

He shook his head. Absurd!

Yet he could not quite help that tightening of his chest as he thought of the boy and how truly beautiful he seemed when he had confessed his love.

He should be pleased, _ecstatic _and filled with triumph knowing that Harry Potter loved him, yet such bitterness had fallen on him and would not let any sort of pleasure enter him. He felt, for the first time in many years, the sting of guilt.

His hold on the armrest tightened as he realized what he was feeling and he cursed under his breath, anger coiling over his heart.

Him, _guilty_? Was he not the great Dark Lord? Was he not Slytherin's heir? Was he not the one who released the terror of the Secret Chamber on Hogwarts? Had he not killed many, tortured thousands, many for no other reason than because he could and he was angry?

Yet the fact that he had deceived the boy, the gullible, insufferable twit created guilt within him? Despite what many thought, he liked to think he had most of his sanity, if not nearly all of it yet obviously his sanity was disappearing for surely, he was not letting himself become attached to this- this boy, was he?

He stood up abruptly, his disbelief and annoyance growing stronger. He walked out of his study, intent on finding the brat, of seeing that face and have those eyes stare at him and those lips smile; he wanted to see all that, if only so as to assure himself, to show without a doubt that what he felt was some trick, some ambiguity and nothing of importance.

Harry was no doubt still asleep. The boy tended to sleep until near noon, no matter how early he went to sleep the day before.

Voldemort assumed it was the potion. Although the boy had not been taking it for long, the affects could already be seen.

He no longer had glimpses of memories or sudden flashbacks. The dragon heartstring in the potion had also started to affect his heart. Not truly enough to be noticeable but his breath, at times seemed labored and he became tired more often than should be normal. The _Moon Lilies_ were perhaps the only reason the affects were still rather minor. However, Harry, just as Voldemort assumed he would, had started to grow more dependent. Not completely, Voldemort wasn't sure it that was possible, now that he truly realized just how stubborn Harry Potter was, but the boy turned to him more, yesterday's fight concerning Bellatrix the first confrontation they've had since the day the boy had started taking the potion. He seemed more docile now but that, he knew, was mostly because of the fatigue he felt.

He entered the room and immediately went towards the bed. Indeed, the boy was still there, sleeping underneath the covers without a worry, his face peaceful and his breathing slightly uneven.

Voldemort frowned, seeing the boy's uneven breathing had an odd affect on him. He gave a small jerk of his head, replacing the frown with a thin line as he reached out and shook the boy awake.

He grasped a shoulder and gave a small shake yet the boy did not wake. He shifted slightly, a mumble leaving his lips but his eyes stayed closed and Voldemort frowned again, ready to shake the shoulder just a tad more violent when the boy shifted once more, his shirt, oversized because it was his and not the boy's, slipped slightly, uncovering flawless skin and one rosy nipple.

He jerked away, his breath catching in his throat and he could already feel the heat in his stomach, could feel that tightening and a spark of desire lightening.

He backed away, a hand running through his hair as he tried to get a grip of his emotions. It was simply a chest, flawless and the perfect shade perhaps but still a chest, nothing he had never seen before. And so what if the boy's neck had titled just right, exposing it to him as if an offering? And so what if his lips looked desirable, parted slightly as they were? The boy was still Harry Potter, still the insolent little runt who had foiled his plan…the boy who, no matter how…attractive, was simply another pawn.

His features became tense as he realized his own cowardice when concerning the boy. He moved back towards Harry's side, his name already leaving his lips by the time he reached once more for the shoulder that was now exposed due to more shifting from the boy and he shook even harder.

The boy jerked awake, his eyes wide in alarm. "T- Tom…what, what is it?"

"It's time to get up, Harry," Tom said with a thin smile and Harry stared at him in confusion. "I- what time is it?"

"It's noon," Tom said.

"Oh," he mumbled as he let himself fall back into the mattress. "Really? It's that late? I'm not sure why…I'm just so tired nowadays…"

"Your heart does tend to act up once and awhile…" Tom lied smoothly. "Just let the potion do its job."

Harry gave a small grin. "Alright," he said. He stretched. "Do we have anything planned?"

"Sadly…I will be busy for a few days," Tom said and as he caught Harry's frown, quickly add, "However, you will have me to yourself for your birthday. No interruptions."

"Promise?"

"Yes," Tom said and mentally kicked himself once it left him. He should not have done that, he mused angrily.

Harry gave a hesitant smile. "Fine…can I, can I call my friends?"

Tom hesitated for a moment before nodding. "Fine. There is something I must speak to you about however. It concerns Severus."

"Did something happen to him?" Harry asked, worry coloring his words. Tom had not been lying when he told the Potion Master that Harry had grown fond of him.

"No, no," Tom said, silently adding the 'not yet' part. "He is simply…unavailable."

"When will he be coming back?"

"That is uncertain at the moment," Tom said, "But if all goes well…" a glint entered his gaze, "Perhaps at the end of next week."

"My birthday is in two weeks," he said with a small frown. "He will make it, right?"

"I promise you nothing I cannot keep, kitten," Tom said, "However, I will…try to get him here. Who knows, perhaps all will go well and he will _return_ earlier than expected."

Harry eyed him with a strange glint, almost shrewdly before he shook his head. "I don't want to know," he mumbled as he brushed the comforter off of him and pushed himself out of bed. "I'm going to shower."

"Alright," Tom said with a nod and watched the boy leave, a towel in hand. He gave a small hiss of displeasure, his words to Harry replaying in his head and he could not help the anger that coiled around his belly.

He had not come here so as to please the boy! He walked towards the door and gave opened it with more force than necessary and slammed the door with enough strength he was almost surprised it did not chip.

He walked, the image of a wet Harry for some odd reasoning playing in the back of his head.

* * *

The week went by without Harry seeing much of Tom. He had taken to asking his three friends over nearly every day if only to have some company. Only one day had they not been able to make it and that day, Harry spent most of the time sleeping.

As the weekend passed and Monday rolled by, it held a feeling of warning that Harry could not quite shake. He felt as somewhere, something bad was about to occur. It nagged at him until that was all he nearly thought about. Tom had not been available long enough for Harry to discuss it with and Harry had not wanted to bring up the subject to his friends.

It seemed Theodore was concerned enough about his parents and his bearer who had been ill as of late. Nott seemed on edge and Celino's family seemed a bit more aggressive in their wish to see their family member. Blaise's mother had returned from her trip, her vacation cut short by the death of her newest husband. Blaise found it incredible that there were still men who would actually marry his black widow of a mother. Then there was Draco. His father had yet to come home and although Draco knew he was with Severus, he could not help but worry. He could feel something had happened and despite Harry's reassurance that Severus was simply busy with something Tom had given him to do, Draco's worry did not fade. On the contrary, it increased.

So Monday passed by with that ominous feeling in the air and his friend's troubles in his mind. The next day, he woke a bit earlier than usual and the first thing he realized, was that he had forgotten to take his potion.

He had made to grab the vial and nearly drunk it when he remembered Tom saying the potion could only be taken at night. With a sigh, he placed the vial down, hoping that one day without it wasn't damaging.

He had just gone down to the dining room to eat, Tom not there, when Draco arrived.

Harry blinked in surprise. "When did you get here?"

"A few moments ago," Draco said as he sat next to his friend. A house-elf appeared and Draco ordered his own breakfast before turning towards Harry. "The Dark Lord was on his way out when he called my house and told me you might want company."

Harry gave a smile, albeit a rather sad one. "Oh…so he was here?"

"Yeah," Draco said, his brows knitted. "Although he did say you probably wouldn't be up until noon. I was surprise when the house-elf said you were eating."

"I woke up early today," Harry said with a shrug. "Rather strange."

Draco gave a small nod, his attention more on the food in front of him.

"Draco."

He gave Harry a quick glance to show he was silencing as he chewed his food.

"Do you know why Tom is so busy?"

Draco gave a small shrug, his eyes landing on anywhere that wasn't Harry.

Harry sighed. "Don't lie. If you can't or don't want to tell me, then just say so."

"Harry, it's just that…" Draco sighed as he closed his eyes and rubbed them as if suddenly having a headache. He opened them and after shooting a look around, he leaned towards Harry.

"Something big is being going on right now; something that needs the Dark Lord's undivided attention. I'm not sure what it is but I do know this, it is one large step on the road to winning this war."

"Does it have something to do with Severus?"

Draco once again hesitated before nodding. "the Dark Lord has…sent him away on a…mission. My father is mostly helping Severus and also doing a bit of work at the Ministry. _Swaying_ people to the cause."

"Are we really that close to winning this war?" Harry said and something in the back of his mind seemed to grow slightly displeased at such a motion. He shook his head. He must be more tired than he had first thought.

Draco mumbled, an odd expression playing on his face. "It depends…we have managed to take a valuable weapon from the Order," a rather ironic smile twisted Draco's lips, "and at the moment, they are not only focused on keeping the Ministry out of the Dark Lord's grasp, they are also trying to retrieve their weapon back, find out what the Dark Lord is planning, counter it and ultimately defeat him."

Anger shot through him at the idea of a hurt or worse yet, killed Tom. Draco shook his head. "All the Dark Lord has to worry about is moving forward."

"I get it," Harry said. "The Order has to worry about Tom's plan and how to bloke it and other problems while Tom simply has to keep going."

"Exactly," Draco said with a small, friendly smile. "The Order is still rather shaken up with the loss of their weapon and are still trying to retrieve it. Plus, a few of their members have gone missing and one of their…" Draco looked around once more and leaned in further, his voice lowering even further. "…spies has been detained."

"Detained?

Draco nodded, as he pulled back and took another bit of his head. Once he swallowed and took a sip of water, he continued. "The Dark Lord likes to keep a spy or two in his ranks, if only so he can feed a bit of false information once and a while to the Order. He usually takes out the ones who truly aren't valuable to him. If, however, the spy has a position of use, the Dark Lord will find a way to…force his hand." A frown lit his expression and a flicker of worry entered his grey eyes.

Harry wondered why.

"You see, unless the information is really important and something he does not want linking out, he'll summon the Death Eater along with the spy and make a few plans. When there's information that cannot, for whatever reason, reach the Order for risk ruining everything, he either exposes the spy, does not summon them or, as I said, forces their hand."

"How so?"

"Harry…" Draco sighed. "Please don't make me say things that might cast a shadow upon the Dark Lord."

Harry simply sighed. "Fine, fine…" he turned towards his plate. "Have you tried the mangos?"

Draco nodded and promptly ordered some from the house-elf once it appeared. Their conversation seemed to shift towards safer topics and Draco's shoulders lost much of its tension. Harry frowned. He had not meant to make his friend uncomfortable.

Time passed with them laughing and teasing one another, the Dark Lord's plans and the Order's intervention seemingly gone from their mind. At some point, Blaise arrived, quickly followed by Theodore.

The thin boy had brought his family's brooms with him and with a mischievous glint in his eyes, had offered to "teach" Harry how to fly. The idea seemed to strike a cord in him and he agreed without hesitation.

Draco had said they could not leave the protection ward that surrounded the manor and the bit of land it protected. They stuck mostly to the garden and kept closer to the ground than one usually does while flying but Harry did not seem to mind.

He felt as if he had done this before, had loved doing this before and he gave a small, sigh of contentment as he flew, no longer really paying attention to his friends but simply gliding in the air.

At some point, the sky began to darken and just as it started to rain, Draco called out it would be best if they all entered inside.

Harry nearly protested but gave a sigh and a nod, landing next to the three wizards and following them inside. They left soon after they finished eating, the flying having drained a bit of their energy. Theodore had promised to bring the brooms the next time he came over and Harry could not hide his glee.

Tom arrived just as the sun was setting, a look of pleasure on his face and Harry assumed everything went well. He placed the book he was reading down, his full attention on the older wizard.

"My dear Harry!" Tom said with enthusiasm as he reached the boy who quietly sat on the bed. "I have done it!"

"Done what?" Harry asked, blinking. "Won the war, finished a puzzle, learned a new spell?"

"No, no," Tom said with a small laugh. He caressed a cheek and Harry automatically leaned into it, a pensive look on his face. "All this time…they had it. They had the ring, my ring, and I've found it."

"A ring?"

"A very…special ring," Tom said with a small smile. "But not so much the ring but the stone that comes with it. It has been in my family for generations and finally, it is mine!"

Harry blinked. "Congratulations," he said.

Tom's lips curled in dark amusement and he gave a small huff. "No doubt you do not realize just how important this is. That stone is part of three items. Once I have all three…" he shook his head. "Enough about me and my plans. How has been your day?"

"Fine," Harry mumbled, that still pensive look in place. "Draco came over and then Blaise and Theo. Theo brought some of his brooms and we flew a bit in the garden…"

Tom frowned. "I hope you did not go out of the wards, Harry…"

"No," Harry said with a shake of his head. "They said we couldn't, too dangerous. I would have loved to fly higher though…"

"You liked it?"

"A lot," Harry said with a nod.

Tom's eyes, for a moment, flickered with some uncertain emotion. "Then…we shall have to get you into the skies more often and higher up perhaps."

Harry's smile widened and it became breathtaking. Tom wasn't quite sure why it was even more beautiful now than it once was. Arms wrapped around his neck and pulled him down and he gave a grunt of surprise. He pulled away slightly, the arms still around his neck and Harry still smiling and for some reason, his mind went blank and he leaned and kissed the boy.

Harry gave a small noise of surprise before opening his mouth to the kiss, his arms tightening and pulling them closer and Tom's hands shifted from their place in the bed to Harry's shoulder and towards his neck. His fingers wrapped around that slender neck, caressing the skin and moving slightly down, pushing back the shirt and exposing more skin to his fingers.

He wasn't quite sure who shifted but he felt legs rising and he felt himself leaning almost entirely over the bed and those legs brushed against his side, nearly striding him and he gave a small grunt in the back of his throat when Harry jerked up, brushing his hip against his crotch.

That burning and tightening returned and only intensified as Harry's hands slide down his neck and towards his shoulder, towards his elbows and finally to his waist where he clutched desperately and his hips seemed to thrust against Tom's once more and a moan left the younger boy, sultry and warm and Tom could not quite remember who he was or what he was doing, only that he needed more of this, more contact. He could feel himself hardening, nearly painful at one point and he could feel Harry's own response, could taste his arousal and hear his moans of more. Nimble fingers pushed at his shirt, sliding it up and exposing that pale flesh and Tom barely noticed until those hands ghosted at his side.

He jerked away, pulling himself from the boy as if suddenly burned. Harry's eyes snapped open in perhaps surprise and something close to disappointment and confusion.

He looked a little too tempting for Tom's liking –tousled hair and bruised lips with a heated face and jagged breathing.

He ran a hand through his hair and closed his eyes, trying to gain a bit more control, if only enough to speak and control that burning and tightening, if only to stop his mind from shouting for more and his hands twitched to grasp the boy again.

"I think-" he cleared his throat. "I think it best if we stop." He gave a small jerk of his head, whether a nod or a shake, Harry could not tell and before he could say anything, Tom turned and left the room.

Harry gave a shuttering sigh, not quite sure of Tom's reaction and he would have thought the man had not liked it, if he had not felt the overwhelming evidence that he had pressing against his leg.

His actions- their actions seemed to race back to the surface of his now clear mind and he blushed furiously, covering his face with his hands.

They have never gotten that far, despite the fact that he had mostly just been kissing and shifting against another, groping and teasing exposed skin. Tom had never…they simply kissed, sometimes the kisses becoming a bit heated but the man always pulled back long before it could turn into anything more than a kiss.

He shook his head and despite everything, Bellatrix's words played in his head and a frown graced his features. Tom had said it was a lie and although Harry believed him, he could not help but feel that Bellatrix had been…right about certain things. Certainly, she had been right when she said he was a child and that Tom and him had never progressed further than any kiss and he could not help it, could not help that burning sensation in his chest, knowing that Bellatrix was right, that he was not quite fully Tom's lover, not yet.

* * *

He reached his study and once inside, closed the door, the cool of the wood against his back. He gave a small breath, not quite sure how to process what had just happened but the very thought of what happened seemed to snap something in him and he gave a small snarl as he pushed himself away from the wood and walked towards his drinks. He grabbed the first thing he reached and poured himself a nice amount before swallowing it in three easy gulps. His filled the glass once more but this time, gave a small sigh and let himself fall on his chair, his posture imperfect. He took a small sip, his heart beating still too fast for his liking.

He had- by Merlin, what was wrong with him! Yes, he would admit, the boy was lovely but if Veelas could not sway him, could not tempt him, why could that brat? He had completely lost all restraint and had been so very close to simply stripping the boy and taking him and he doubted the boy would have protested and if so, he would have easily been persuaded.

Yet truly, why on earth would he want it, want him? He could still feel his blood rushing through his body warm and nearly insufferable, his arousal not quite gone despite his now clear head and he gave a small growl of irritation.

How absurd! How absurd! His heart seemed to flutter as the image of the boy flashed in his mind. His shirt still too big for his frame, that skin flushed, those cheeks heated while his lips bruised and eyes filled darkly with passion and arousal and the sultry promise of something more.

His success in retrieving one of the Hollows did little to snap him out of his ill mood. For really, he had only retrieved one of the legendary Hollows and he would need all three if his goal was to be achieved.

He was not quite sure when he truly obtained the idea of searching for the Deathly Hollows of legend. He liked to think it was a few years after his first attempt at creating Horcrux.

He had been close, so very close to splitting his soul, into splitting his soul seven ways and thus, gain a type of immortality but something had stopped him. Perhaps it was the fact that Horcrux would not give him the immortality, the true immortality he had sought.

It was by passing that he remembered the legend of the Three Brothers and it, for some odd reason, had piqued his curiosity.

He had found out, through years of research beyond the tale, that those three items, when held in possession by one person, would summon Death who could not refuse one wish. He knew he would have to be specific with his wish for Death was nothing if not sly but he, if anyone else, could do it.

He knew who held the Elder Wand, it was not hard to figure out but he was bidding his time, for he doubted very much anyone would be able to defeat Albus Dumbledore. As for the cloak, that one would be a bit more difficult…but not truly…not truly. Especially with the help of a seer, a true and powerful one. But he would not worry about it…not yet. The cloak, would be last, he realized.

The stone was already in his possession, the Unspeakables barely resisted, and he would find a way to gain the Elder Wand.

Yet, despite the fact that the Deathly Hollows would lead to his main goal, to his immortality, his other goals, he realized with a small frown, were taking too long to develop. Perhaps it was his Death Eaters…perhaps they need more motivation, more passion-

The image of a naked Harry flashed in his mind, glittering with sweat and breathless as he blushed and moan and-

The glass connected with the wall and shattered, the liquid soaking the wood and rolling down towards the ground where the pieces of glass laid. Undoubtedly, he was going insane.

* * *

Harry did not see Tom for the rest of the week and he could not quite help the bubbling sensation he felt in his stomach at the thought that perhaps he had angered him. Draco quickly dismissed it, saying the Dark Lord was simply busy. They had gained what they were looking for granted, but there were other things they had to work on.

For one thing, the Dark Lord had to recreate his army. He had his Death Eaters but not as many as he had during his first reign. He needed new recruits and the fact that old alliances needed to be attended too and, in many cases, reconstructed did not help matters.

"You're just being paranoid," Draco had said. "Trust me; the Dark Lord is not angry at you because you and him…yeah." He did a motion with his hands and when Harry noticed just how uncomfortable his friend was, quickly let the subject go.

When Tuesday rolled around once again, his birthday some days away, Harry began to wonder if Tom would make it for his birthday. If the man was truly as busy as Draco said, then there was the chance that he would forget. He spent the day with such worry and only when Tom appeared that night, a small frown in place, did a bit of Harry's worry leave him. That frown, however, quickly pulled much of the worry back.

"Something wrong?" Harry asked as he shut the door behind him. He had been in the shower when Tom entered, he assumed for the man had not been on the bed when Harry had left.

"I am…pensive."

"Must be something bad then…" Harry mumbled as he continued drying his hair.

Tom's eyes narrowed and he waved his hand. "Come here, Harry." Harry hesitated for a moment, a spark of emotion telling him the danger of that beckoning but he ignored it and walked towards him.

"What is it?" he asked and he sat on their bed. "Something happen?"

"No…" Tom said softly as he touched a warm cheek. "I have been neglecting you, haven't I?"

"Hmm…" Harry simply grumbled, neither confirming nor denying it although his eyes held something close to confirmation.

Tom gave an apologetic smile yet his eyes shinned with something dark and sultry. "I'm sorry. It seems I have been truly…truly lost in my work."

"Huh."

He leaned and gave a tender kiss to the younger wizard. "But I will make it up to you. Your birthday is coming up…and not only will I be here for that day, I will be here, for only you, until then."

"Really!?" Harry said, his eyes widening in pleasure and his smile growing.

"Yes," Tom mumbled. His brows knitted in something close to confusion and perhaps a hint of anger yet Harry was too lost in his excitement and glee to notice.

He was not sure why he had made that promise but knowing that the boy was upset with him set his stomach coiling in an unpleasant way, his mind only thinking about how to appease the boy, how to make him smile.

A frown tugged his lips. What was the boy doing to him?

Yet he did not have time to think or wonder about the affects Harry was having on him for arms wrapped around his middle and a head rested on his chest. "I've missed you," Harry mumbled.

Tom gazed down at the boy, seeing the little droplets of water still clutching to his hair and he could feel the warmth of the young body and he barely noticed the words leave him until they were too late. "And I missed you, Harry."

* * *

I know many of you have been wondering if Tom would fall in love with Harry. I hope this chapter answers that question.

Anyway, next chapter, I'm not sure but I truly do want to add a lemon –grin- but honestly I'm not good at writing them. I might just…"imply" that they've had sex. Not quite sure yet. I mean, I would ask someone to just write one for me and then give them credit for it but…meh. I'm still not sure.

What has happened to Severus will be explained in the next chapter, as will the Order's reaction to all that's been happening with Voldemort and his "main goal". Also, next chapter, we see a plan to rescue Harry start to develop, let's see if it goes as planned.

I had originally thought this story was going to be like LONG LONG LONG but I've come to realize it doesn't have to be. I probably won't reach a twentieth chapter, probably only fifteen chapters in all.

Anyway, please reviews and oh, PLEASE do tell me if you guys find any mistakes. I only quickly checked this thing over once and I don't have a beta!


	12. Gold

**-Love and Forget: These Loving Memories-  
By: Concubine99**

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Harry Potter or its context.

**Warning(s):** Slash, Amnesia, **Sexual Context**, Angst, Mpreg, Language, Underage -Harry's sixteen-

**Main Paring: **Tom Riddle(Voldemort)/Harry Potter

**Side Pairings**: Sirius/Remus, Severus/Lucius, Draco/Blaise, Ron/Hermione,

**Summary: **Harry's memories are gone but he's gained an imaginary life with three friends who have their own drama and a lover- a Tom who's known by the world as the Dark Lord Voldemort.

**A/N**: _Please do read all the ending notes and the A/N's I put up. They may be long but a lot of the information is important!_

* * *

**Chapter Ten  
Gold**_  
Like the necklace, like the acknowledgement of this feeling_

* * *

Harry's birthday arrived quickly and nearly without Harry's notice. Tom had kept his promise and the few days preceding his birthday had been spent with him. The older wizard had been attentive to the point where Harry barely had a break from him- not that he minded.

He woke up to kisses, soft and a caress that eventually pulled out giggles from him as he managed to push away the fogs of sleep. "Tom…" he mumbled. "That tickles," he said with another laugh as he opened his eyes slightly and gave his lover a smile.

"Happy birthday, angel," Tom said with a small smile as he leaned down and kissed him quickly on the lips.

Harry pushed himself up slightly by his elbows. "I'm sixteen now."

"Yes," Tom said with a solid nod. "And your presents await."

"Presents?" Harry nearly cried out in glee as he tried to push himself out of bed. "Where!? I wanna open them!"

Tom gave a chuckle. "How about you shower and get ready? Your party will be starting in a few hours and I would rather you have a bit of time to relax."

"Party?"

"Yes," Tom said with a nod. "My…supporters will be there as will your friends and their parents."

"And then I'll get my presents?"

"Yes," Tom said with a roll of his eyes. "And then cake."

Harry gave a grin before popping a quick kiss on Tom's lips and then practically sprinting towards the bathroom.

Voldemort watched him go, his face darkening slightly as his hand dug into the folds of his robes and pulled out a gold necklace. He felt his stomach twist in self-disgust.

How could he even think about giving this heirloom to the boy? Yet it felt right, so very right to give such a treasure to Harry on his birthday.

He had taken advantage of Harry's late rising to go shopping for his presents, a fact that managed to cause a bit of annoyance for him. He knew he had to buy the boy something, what kind of lover would he be if he didn't? But that did not explain why he had personally gone out of his way to shop for him. Even he had to admit he had gone a bit overboard with all the things he had bought for Harry and on top of that, he was actually considering giving the brat a necklace he had done much to find and obtain.

His finger caressed the locket, caressed the smooth edges and any doubt left him as Harry returned. He quickly hid the locket from view but Harry caught the movement.

He grinned. "Was that my present?"

"Perhaps," Tom said smoothly. "You still have to get dressed, Harry."

Harry gave a small grunt as his hold on the towel tightened slightly as he walked towards the wardrobe. Usually, he would take his clothes to the bathroom so as to change in there but he had forgotten to in his excitement. He threw the man a coy glance before giving a sigh and letting the towel drop on the ground as he turned back towards his clothes.

They were lovers, right? The older man was bound to have seen him naked before, right? He didn't dare turn around to see Tom's expression, instead focusing on which clothes exactly to wear.

"Do I have to wear something really formal?" Harry asked after a moment.

"No," Tom said softly and slightly strained. "You may wear what you wish. It is your birthday after all."

"Ok," Harry said with a firm nod before grabbing his favorite shirt and his most comfortable pants, his underwear already out and waiting for him to simply slip them on.

He dressed quickly, his back still towards Tom and only when he secured his pants on his hips did he turn around, already putting on his shirt.

"So, what's next?" Harry asked as he nearly jumped in place. Tom cleared his throat. "I thought we would have breakfast."

"That'd be nice," Harry said with a nod. "I'm really hungry."

"Well then, shall we go?" Tom said with a sudden smile and Harry grinned in return as he quickly made his way towards Tom. "Do you think there are any more mangos? I really did…" Harry reached Tom's side and suddenly, without warning, collapsed. Tom let out a small cry of surprise as he grabbed Harry before he could hit the ground and quickly held him against his chest.

"Harry!" he called out as he gently tapped a cheek. "Harry, wake up!" Yet the boy didn't and he let out a small curse as he hurled the boy into his arms and walked back towards their bed. He rested the boy onto the mattress and let out a small growl of anger as he jerked away from the boy.

"What am I doing!" he hissed. "Worrying about the boy as if- as if…" he did not finish his train of thought but instead he returned towards the boy's side. "Harry," he called out as he gently shook a hand, his other ghosting over his vital signs. The boy seemed to stir as he let out a small sigh. He opened those jewel-like eyes and stared at his lover in slight confusion. "Weren't we going to breakfast?"

"You collapsed."

"I did?" Harry seemed surprised.

"Yes," Tom said with a nod. "I'm cancelling the party. Something is obviously-"

"No!" Harry quickly protested as he pushed himself into a sitting position. "You can't! I want to go!"

"Kitten, you just fainted!"

"I took a too hot shower and I'm really hungry, that's all," Harry protested. "Nothing's wrong. Let's go eat and you'll see how fast I get all better."

"I don't know…"

"Oh, don't worry so much!" Harry said with a small grin. "I took my potion last night so I can't be my heart, right?"

A look resembling a grimace overtook Tom's expression which Harry immediately caught. "What? Is something wrong?"

"No…" Tom said softly and with a simple shake of his head. He cleared his throat. "I was simply thinking. Why don't you go and I'll meet you downstairs in a little bit?"

Harry stared at him oddly. "Alright; don't take too long."

Tom gave a firm nod and he watched the boy leave with a piercing gaze before he turned and walked towards the nightstand on Harry's side of the bed. He opened the first drawer and took out the four vials that still remained of the potion.

Absolutely ridiculous, he reasoned. Why should the fact that the potion was having an affect stir his emotions like this? Absolutely ridiculous and he reasoned that he simply didn't want his weapon damaged too severely.

He gave a firm nod. That was it; although he wanted Harry dependant, he still wanted the boy to be able to fight. Perhaps the potion needed more _Moon Lily_ so as to combat the heartstrings?

He gave a small, frustrated sigh as his stomach continued to twist at the thought of Harry's sudden collapse. Anger, hot and raw suddenly took him as he threw the potion towards the opposite wall, the vials shattering and the potion splattering the wall.

He watched the liquid slid down to the floor and he knew it would stain if left there. He summoned a house-elf with the order to clean up the mess before he quickly left the room, deciding that a few weeks without the potion wouldn't do any harm.

* * *

Severus had not seen anyone else but Lucius and the two house-elves that worked in the Willow Mansion since the Dark Lord had ordered his…detainment.

The first day he had been so angry and nearly destroyed the East Wing which Lucius quickly ordered the house-elves to repair. The blond had not even been slightly afraid of Severus's fury, already long use to the man's temper.

The two days following were spend mostly in his own chambers, refusing to talk to the blond. Lucius distracted him the days after that.

"It's Potter's birthday," Lucius commented as he sat at the edge of the bed. Severus shifted, the covers slipping as he gave a sigh. "I'm aware," he mumbled as he closed his eyes and tried shifting away from the Malfoy yet his lover grabbed him by the wrist and yanked him closer. "Have I worn you out?" the blond asked with a small smile and the Potions Master glared. "Arrogant asshole," he finally mumbled but did nothing to pull away from the hold.

"The Dark Lord contacted me," Lucius said, his grey eyes taking in Severus's suddenly tense shoulders. "It seems Potter wishes you there for his birthday and the Dark Lord is quite hesitant to displease the boy."

"So I am able to leave this prison?"

Lucius frowned. "Only you would find this mansion dissatisfactory." He gave a small sigh. "You truly are a stubborn fool. It is your own fault; spying for the bloody Order, are you out of your mind?"

"I don't want to have this discussion with you!" Severus snapped as he pulled away from Lucius's hold. "I'm old enough to make my own decisions!"

"Not if they lead to your death!" Lucius shot back out. "I've worked rather hard to keep you alive, I'm not about to have you ruin it!"

"Oh, well, if it means making your life easier, sure!" Severus nearly roared as he stood up, ignoring the fact that he was naked and grabbed his discarded pants.

"Where the hell do you think you're going?" Lucius hissed as Severus made his way towards the door.

"Away from you!" Severus snapped as he opened the door but Lucius reached his side and slammed the door just as Severus swung it open.

"We're not finished!"

"Oh yes we are!"

"Like hell!"

"I'm not your child," Severus said coolly, "I don't have to stand here and take your rebuke!"

"You're not leaving," Lucius said with a bit more force as he grabbed Severus arm and pulled him towards the bed. "I will not have you anger the Dark Lord any more than you already have! So you will listen!"

"Let go!"

"The Dark Lord will allow you to come but he wishes for you to know just how thin the ice you are treading on is," Lucius mumbled as he pulled Severus closer to his chest, their faces barely touching. "One little disturbance at the party or any other suspicious activity and he will…" Lucius shook his head. He stared at Severus with something close to anxiety. "I cannot lose you, not you my little firefly…please. Just for once, just for once act as if…"

"As if I don't have a conscience?" Severus replied through nearly closed lips and Lucius gave a thin smile in return. "Yes, act as if you actually believe in the Dark Lord, as if you actually belong there."

He leaned down and placed an almost tender kiss on Severus's forehead. "Are you willing?"

"I have done it for years; today will not be any different."

"You and I both know that is untrue," Lucius mumbled as he released Severus. "I will leave you to get ready."

Severus watched the blond leave, his heart fluttering in a manner it usually did whenever he saw Lucius's retreating form. He could not help how he felt for the blond and he knew he would damn the Light if only to save Lucius and his family and perhaps the fact that such a choice would soon be upon them was why that day was different.

* * *

Harry decided he did not like the majority of Tom's followers rather quickly.

They had started to appear around evening, most of them with a small sneer in place. The party was being held in the same room Harry had stumbled upon on his first day wakening up without his memories and which he quickly learned was the room Tom had most of his meetings. The room was lit brightly and Harry was amazed at the differences of the room. Perhaps he was mistaken and the room always looked like that. Perhaps he had been too distracted by the loaming figures with masks to notice.

Harry sat next to Tom on his throne-like chair, Harry's chair a bit smaller. They would arrive mostly in pairs or in groups of families and would first walk towards the small platform in where Tom and Harry were seated. They would give a quick bow of their head towards Tom and a quick, formal nod towards Harry yet the respect that shined when they looked at Tom seemed to dim when they focused their attention towards Harry.

"Why do I have to sit here?" Harry grumbled.

"They want to wish you a happy birthday," Tom said softly. "It's easier to do when you're at one place."

"They sure as hell didn't seem like they truly care about wishing me happy birthday; more like a trip to the graveyard."

"Harry!" Tom seemed to scold but Harry shrugged. "I know when someone's glaring at me," he said with a sigh yet his small frown seemed to turn into a smile when he caught sight of Theo.

Tom didn't bother to comment as the Nott family walked towards them.

"Darius," Tom acknowledged, "Celino and young Theodore."

Harry gave a grin. "Hey Theo!"

"Happy birthday, Harry," Theo said with a small smile.

"Thanks; what'd you get me?"

"You'll just have to wait and find out," Theo said simply. "A little waiting never hurt." He turned a bit. "This is my papa, Harry."

"Hello," Harry said with a polite smile and Celino gave a small chuckle. "Happy birthday, ninito," he said and his eyes shined with warmth. Harry instantly liked him. "Thank you, Mr. Nott."

"No, no," Celino said with a small shake of his head. "I am Celino. He is Mr. Nott," he said as he waved towards the direction of his husband who was quietly speaking to Tom.

Harry gave another grin before he turned towards Tom and tugged at his arm. The older wizard immediately turned from his conversation, a smile on his lips. "Yes, Harry?"

"Can I go?"

"Harry-"

"Look, if they truly really want to wish me a happy birthday, they can put a little effort to finding me," Harry said with a frown. "I don't want to sit here and have strangers come up to me only to glare while spitefully saying 'happy birthday'."

Harry stood up. "So, can I go with Theo?"

"At least stay in the room," Tom said peevishly but Harry just grinned as he leaned and kissed him on the cheek. "Thank you!"

He walked towards Theo before grabbing his hand. "I'm hungry," he said with a tug at the thinner wizard's arm. "Let's go to the food table."

Theo gave a quick wave towards his parents before turning his attention towards his friend. "So I take it you haven't taken a liking to any of the Dark Lord's followers."

"They're bloody awful at hiding their hatred," Harry said with a small snort. "Some were able to simply greet me with cold indifference but others…" he gave another scoff.

"Don't let it bother you," Theo said and Harry gave a small laugh. "It doesn't."

"There you are," a voice called out as they reached the small food buffet. They turned only to be greeted with a short wave from Blaise.

"Hey," they greeted back. Harry watched him with an eager expression. "Did you bring me a present?"

"No, Harry," Blaise said, "I came to a birthday party empty handed."

Harry rolled his eyes. "That better be just your sarcastic wit and not the truth," he said with a small pout before he turned towards the food.

"I'll give you money ," Blaise said with a shrug.

"Why would I want money?" Harry asked. "It's not like I can really go shopping."

"He was joking, Harry," Draco said as he made his way towards them, hearing the last bit of their conversation. "Blaise wouldn't give money as a gift." He gave a grin, "But just in case, I bought two presents."

Harry grinned. "I knew there was a reason why you were my best friend."

"And what am I?" Theo said with an insulted look. "Leftovers?"

Harry rolled his eyes. "You couldn't be a spare even if I wanted; too pushy."

"Pushy?" Theo mumbled with a raised eyebrow. "I think you're talking about our friend Draco here."

"Bloody idiots," Blaise simply mumbled with a shake of his head. "Why are you here anyway, Harry? Aren't you supposed to be sitting with the Dark Lord?"

"I was bored."

"You're simpleminded."

"And you're an insensitive jerk. We can't all be perfect."

Blaise gave a quick smirk as the rest of them laughed. Harry opened his mouth to give another quick retort when he noticed the figure just entering through the main door. "Severus!" he called out through the crowd, his voice echoing loudly and many turned to his direction. He ignored them all as he made his way towards the brunette.

"Severus!" he called again as he reached the Potions Master's side. "I'm so glad you're here!"

"Hello, Harry," Severus said with a thin smile, his face pale and tired. "Happy birthday."

"Thank you," Harry said, his smile shrinking as he took in the man before him. "How are you? You look awful."

"Thank you," Severus replied with a healthy level of sarcasm. "I'm glad to see you have not gained an tact while I was away."

"Sorry," Harry mumbled sheepishly. "I didn't mean it how it sounded. I've missed you is all, and I've been worried."

"Oh honestly," Severus said with a disapproving frown but his eyes shinned suddenly with warmth. "I simply hope you haven't taken my absence as an excuse to abandon your studies."

"How am I suppose to continue my studies if my teacher isn't here?" Harry remarked with a sigh. "Besides, Tom's been rather uptight lately. He's worried about my heart I think."

"Your heart?"

Harry shrugged, ignoring the hint of alarm in Severus's tone. "I've been tired and today I fainted. He thinks I'm overworking myself. I just think it was a fluke."

"Harry, this is serious! You-"

"I'm fine," Harry interrupted. "I don't need another worrywart, thank you. Oh, hello Mr. Malfoy."

"Mr. Potter," Lucius Malfoy greeted as he appeared next to the Potions Master. "I think the Dark Lord wishes to speak to you."

"Oh," Harry said with a sudden sigh. "Alright. See you, Severus."

"Harry," Severus mumbled with a small nod and a look in his eyes that talked of pain. Harry hesitated before he turned and walked towards where he knew Tom sat.

"You wanted to talk to me?"

"Would you like to open your presents now?" Tom said with a small smile. "Everyone is here and I know you've been wanting to see your presents since you woke up today."

"Yes!" Harry said with a grin as he nearly jumped in place.

Tom gave a small chuckle. "Well then, if you would do the honor of opening one of my presents first."

Harry grinned teasingly. "Glad to know I'm getting more than one thing from you."

"Of course," Tom replied with a small chuckle as he took out a small case from within his robes. He seemed to almost hesitate before he handed Harry the case. Harry took it with the enthusiasm of a child as he opened it and let out a small gasp of surprise as he took in the necklace.

"Oh…" he said, nearly memorized as he gently grabbed the golden locket, his fingers caressing it. "It's so…pretty."

Tom couldn't help the laugh that left him at Harry's child-like remark. "I take it you like it?"

He let the locket fall into his palm and at that moment, he heard the gasps of surprise and a few shrieks ring in the room. He looked up, surprised, only to see nearly everyone in the room looking at him.

"uh…"

"It is a family heirloom," Tom said, his eyes not even bothering to shift towards his servants. "It would look much better on you."

"Are you saying I'm more fit to wear jewelry than you?"

"A jewel for a jewel, kitten," Tom mumbled with a disarming smile as he leaned and kissed Harry on his forehead. "May I?"

Harry gave a nod and turned, exposing the nap of his neck towards his lover after he handed the necklace over. He felt the weight of the locket against his chest and then felt the thin necklace fall onto his neck as Tom finished snapping it in. "There," he said.

Harry's hand instantly flew towards the locket, his fingers brushing against the cool metal. "Thank you."

"How about you finish opening the rest of your presents? All my followers brought you something."

Harry looked around, catching the nearly hostile looks from several of the people around him and he gave a small huff of indifference as he reached Tom's side and with a quick push to his toes, kissed the older wizard on the cheek.

"Let's hope they are as good as yours," Harry mumbled before giving another kiss. He turned and gave the crowd a cool gaze. "So…who's next?"

Blaise gave a rough push at one follower in particular and thus making room for Draco who seemed to move through the crowd with an air of confidence and cold indifference.

"Here, Harry. You'll like mine," Draco said with such reassurance that Harry couldn't help but laugh.

Harry grasped the gift just as Theo made his way to Draco's side, Blaise already there. Harry felt a warmth in his stomach, a familiar feeling that had him wishing for his memories if only so he could recall the other instances where he had felt this beautiful feeling. Yet he didn't bother to dwell on such thoughts for too long.

He had his friends and his family and that was all that mattered.

* * *

Dumbledore refused to believe Severus was dead. He refused to believe the younger man had become a traitor. He refused to believe that all hope was lost.

Severus had never lasted more than three days before he contacted Dumbledore, assuring the Order that he was fine. Yet, it had been two weeks since Dumbledore had seen the man.

Harry's birthday was today, he mused sadly as he stood up from his seat. His return was long overdue.

* * *

Harry gave another laugh as he wiggled out of Tom's grasp, rolling towards the left of the bed and nearly managed to land his feet on the floor when Tom grabbed him by the waist and managed to pull him back towards his side.

"Now, now, kitten," Tom nearly cooed as he nuzzled that pale neck in front of him. "I think I deserve another thank you, yes?"

Harry managed to shift in Tom's arms so as to face the man. "I'm not sure; I assumed my one hundred or so thank you's were enough," Harry said followed by a quick kiss.

Tom gave a chuckle as his lips ghosted over Harry's cheek and then down his jaw. He licked a trail to Harry's neck, tasting the boy's magic and his wonderful savor that had his mind going fuzzy. The cool necklace brushed against his cheek and his chest nearly rumbled in approval, the sight of the boy wearing the necklace pleasing.

He heard a small moan from the boy as he took an ear lob between his teeth and gave it a tug. He could feel Harry's breath on his cheek as he kissed and sucked and savored the skin before him.

His hands shifted towards Harry's hips and then underneath Harry's shirt while his fingers drew a sultry moan from the younger wizard. He reclaimed Harry's mouth as his fingers somehow slid towards Harry's back and trailed Harry's spine. Harry seemed to quiver in his arms, his thin arms wrapping around Tom's broad shoulders and his fingers sliding into his thick tresses.

"Tom," he moaned as Tom pushed slightly away and nearly devoured Harry's throat. Harry pressed down against Tom's head, pressing him harder into his throat and closing his eyes at the sensation, at the warmth.

His hips shifted underneath Tom and slid against Tom's groin. It was a jolt of pleasure that had Tom sliding away.

"No," Harry nearly pleaded as he tried desperately to pull Tom back against him. Tom was rigid yet he did not pull his hands from underneath Harry's shirt nor did he try to pull away from Harry's leg that rested pleasurably against his bulging crotch.

"Harry," he whispered, his eyes shining and showing his waning restraint. "I think it'd be-'

"No," Harry whispered almost harshly, "No, no!" He crushed his lips against Tom in near desperation as his hand wandered from around Tom's neck and towards Tom's pants. He nearly hesitated before thrusting his hand down and grasped Tom's warm and hardening dick.

"Harry," he hissed, surprise and pleasure mixed in that one word and Harry's hand gave a squeeze that had Tom closing his eyes. His hand was cold around his shaft and his idle fingers seemed to dance around the head.

He gave a throaty groan as he opened his eyes and stared down at the boy who simply stared back with wide, green eyes, the only movement from him, his mischievous hand. "I want to be your lover," Harry said, his words soft and yet his hand relentless as he gave it a squeeze and a harsh tug before brushing his thumb over the head once, twice and again for good measure.

"Fuck," Tom hissed and with all his strength, grasped Harry's wrist, effectively stopping the boy's movement. "Stop, Harry. You're too-"

"What? Young? I'm sixteen," Harry reminded as he resumed moving his fingers and he could feel the pre-cum on the tip of his fingers, making the dick slick and creating a wonderful friction that had Tom shuddering. "I want to be your lover, your true lover," Harry mumbled, his eyes still wide but holding such enthusiasm and love that Tom felt his resolve crumble as he leaned and kissed the boy gently. "Alright," he mumbled before pulling away.

Harry made to protest, his grip on Tom's dick tightening, earning a hiss from Tom. "Take off your clothes," Tom said, the words low and Harry hesitated for a moment before he pulled his hand from the shaft, his hand seeming to glisten as he pulled off his shirt and managed to discard his baggy pants towards the side.

He shifted back towards Tom, his naked skin almost glowing in the dim light as he coyly looked towards his lover. Before Harry could even speak, Tom shifted and grabbed Harry by the shoulder before slamming him back onto the mattress, his mouth launching onto a soft, pink nipple. His teeth grazed the nub and his tongue moistened it, slicked it and made it stand up, rigid and aching while his other hand found the sister, his finger teasing the nub just as mercilessly.

Moans and noises that could have once been words left Harry as he thrashed underneath the older wizard. Tom moved his legs, effectively locking Harry between his thighs and he gave a jerk forward, his bulge hitting Harry's own erection and earning a hiss from the boy.

"Ahh…" he whispered. "There…there…"

Tom's hot mouth traveled down, his tongue making a quick caress to Harry's navel before traveling further and in one quick move, enveloped Harry in his mouth. Harry gasped, his back arching in response to the wetness and warmth that surrounded him as his eyes closed and his head thrashed around.

"Yes…yes…ah…" the words left his lips with barely his notice as shudders racked his body. His hands clenched and unclenched the fabric and suddenly as he moaned and hissed with pleasure as Tom's tongue did something wicked and he nearly came right there. Tom gave a quick, harsh suck before popping the shaft out of his mouth.

"No- nah!" Harry cried out in frustration, pleading for something that he could not quite understand as Tom's kisses landed all over him- on his arms, legs, thighs and somtach, his throat and finally a quick kiss on his lips before Tom kissed his forehead.

"Harry…" Tom mumbled softly and with such tenderness that Harry was surprised. Harry's breath was labored and sweat glistened on his skin but he still managed a giggle and a wanton smile tugged his lips.

"Suck," Tom said, three fingers suddenly right next to Harry's mouth and Harry stretched his neck out, his mouth opening and enveloping the three digits in his warm, wet cavern. He twirled his tongue around the digits, giving them a quick suck and wetting the fingers as best as he could. He heard that almost choked groan from his lover and he nearly gave a snicker of laughter but then Tom pulled his fingers free and then occupied Harry's already bruising lips with his own.

The kiss was slow and sensual; Tom's tongue tracing his lips and dancing with his tongue. His still clad legs nudged Harry's legs further apart and without any warning, Harry felt those slicked and wet finger enter him.

He gave a moan as his muscles clamped around the intruding digit, enveloping it in warmth. Tom gave a grunt, his kisses becoming harsher as he tried to distract Harry from his quick thrusts and scissoring fingers as he inserted another digit. Harry shifted, his discomfort evident in his whimpers that disappeared into Tom's mouth.

He could feel the strokes of those fingers intimately, feel his muscles stretching. He gave a hiss and nearly chocked on his tongue when those fingers did something and brushed against a certain spot that had his back arching and his toes curling in pleasure.

"Ahh…" he whispered as he closed his eyes, his grip on Tom's shoulder tightening. "Do that again," he ordered, his face twisted in concentration and Tom gave a small, chuckle, his breath against Harry's shoulder as he complied all the while adding another finger. It earned him an enthusiastic cry as Harry eagerly pushed against the fingers. "More, more…ah…" he whispered and Harry's eager eyes seemed to break something in Tom for he pulled away, Harry giving a cry of protest when those heavenly fingers felt him feeling empty.

He managed to discard his pants just as Harry stood up, his chest rising rapidly and he was reminded of a hummingbird at that moment. It made him want the boy more.

He climbed back onto the bed and resumed his earlier position, the boy underneath him nearly shaking and Harry's shaft hard and slick with pre-cum. He grasped it and gave it a twist that seemed to make the boy speechless. He murmured almost dazedly, his hips swaying.

His movements did nothing but push Tom further. He released Harry's dick, ignoring Harry's grunt of disappoint as he lubed himself with spit and the drops of pre-cum.

"Harry," he whispered. Harry opened his eyes, and he gave Tom a shaky smile that seemed to twist Tom's heart. "You have to relax," he mumbled as he positioned himself, his head already nudging Harry's opening. "You have to relax…" he continued to mumble as he leaned and gave Harry's shoulder a kiss. Harry's arm curled around Tom's shoulders and when he felt his muscles stretched further and his opening taking in the intruding object, he let out a whimper, his back curling as his chest touched Tom's.

He could feel his eyes moistening as the pain started and he nearly cried out again when Tom moved slowly once more. "Please relax, kitten," Tom mumbled into his ear, his hands on Harry's hip and his fingers trailing smoothing circles.

Harry tried, he truly did but his muscles seemed to simply wish to grip tighter onto the shaft and he let out a hiss as Tom finished entering him with one solid thrust. He couldn't stop the cry from leaving him as he gripped Tom tighter and dug his face into the warm shoulder.

Tom mumbled something, sweet nothings, as he continued to kiss his neck and shoulder and eventually, Harry relaxed, taking in the sensation of being so utterly full. He gave Tom's shoulder a small pat and Tom took that as permission to continue.

He retreated, his cock nearly slipping out of Harry but the protest died on Harry's lips when Tom slammed back in, the head hitting his prostate, the force jolting Harry in the bed and ripping a cry from his throat.

Harry's legs shifted and wrapped around Tom's hip, urging him on and effectively helping him with Tom's thrust.

The pace was slow yet hard and seemed to drive Harry mad as every time he seemed to reach his peak, Tom's slow rhythm would bring him back, tears of frustration trailing down his face. "Faster," he raspsed out and Tom gave a small chuckle that had Harry wanting to slap him. He tightened his muscles around Tom's thick cock, earning a groan from the older wizard and he gave a impish grin as Tom stilled, his eyes closing.

Tom could no longer keep up such a slow pace, his trust becoming almost frantic as Harry urged him on, his pleas of "faster", "harder" nearly undoing Tom entirely.

Harry felt his whole body give a shudder as pleasure he had never felt before rang through his body as he continued to thrust his hips upward with each of Tom's stroke. There was a heat that burned until it was almost painful and yet it seemed to mix with that overpowering pleasure and the sensation of hands and fingers and Tom all around him and he could not help but want more.

The heat seemed to reach its peak as it finally burst and he let out a small cry, his body falling deeper against the mattress. He took Tom over the edge with him as with one final thrust, the other wizard buried himself even deeper and a gush of cold and silk seemed to take room inside of Harry.

Harry's hold around his shoulder and neck tightened to the point were he was almost choking the man, his breath labored but Tom didn't protest the tight grip. He kissed Harry's shoulder lovingly and continued to plant kisses wherever he could as he pulled out of Harry.

Harry mumbled something, perhaps a protest but Tom simply mumbled a cleaning spell before shifting towards the side and pulling Harry against him. He heard Harry give a sigh as he snuggled further against his chest. "I love you," the amnesiac wizard mumbled, his eyes closed.

Tom stayed silent, his thoughts swirling painfully in his head. He could hear Harry breath evening as he fell asleep.

This was not what he had wanted. He had not intended to touch the boy, to claim him like this. When he had first thought up this plan, he had simply wanted the boy to depend on him. He wanted Harry Potter enthralled but he had not thought of this happening.

It should have come up, he realized. He should have realized that sooner or later, he would have had to sleep with his pseudo-lover and yet…

His grip on the boy tightened as a wave of possessiveness took over him. It did not matter, he mentally decided.

Harry was his, completely and irreversibly. That was all that mattered.

He looked towards the sleeping boy whose face was still breathtaking despite his bruised lips and his hair matted with sweat. He didn't bother dispelling the feeling in his chest nor the urge to simply stay next to the boy.

"Harry…" He mumbled, for the first time truly acknowledging his feelings. "It seems…I can't let you go…"

* * *

Harry woke up alone on the bed, the area next to him still warm. He shifted a bit, surprised that it was already morning.

He sat up, a bit slower once he realized his back still burned slightly, his eyes shifting around the area, trying to find a clue to where Tom might be.

The door was slightly ajar, he realized, as he stood and hastily put on his pants. He walked towards the door and opened it wider before sticking his head out, trying to see if perhaps Tom was there.

He wasn't.

He gave a sigh, a bit of worry bubbling in his chest as he wondered if perhaps he had angered his lover somehow. He turned, his hand pulling the door with him, his feelings heavy on his chest. He gave a start and turned as he noticed that something had caught a hold of the door.

He gave a small shudder when he realized it was that woman…that Bellatrix.

Her hair was a bit tamer than it usual and her eyes a bit more alert and less crazed. She entered the room without a word, her eyes on Harry and Harry instinctively took a step back.

"Get out," he finally said.

"No," she said simply.

Harry's hands clenched into fists. "This is my room, get out before I-"

"You smell like…" her voice seemed to grow soft yet her eyes widened in alarm as she caught sight of the bed and the clothes still scattered on the floor.

Harry pushed at the blush that threatened to heat his face. "So what? What my lover and I do is none of your-"

She grabbed him, her nails digging into his forearm and he hissed, a spark of anger and malice entering him at that moment. "That man is not your lover," she nearly snarled. "He is your enemy."

Harry stared at her in surprise but before he could even comment or pull away, the door open and Tom entered.

"Bella," he said in slight surprise that quickly turned to anger as he saw how she held Harry. "What do you think you are doing!?"

"Taking back our Harry," she said as she dug into her robes and touched a necklace, all the while still holding onto Harry. Tom gave a curse but before he could even pull out his wand, they were gone.

He stood near the door, stunned and his thoughts foggy before he let out a almost animalistic roar that carried through the room and halls.

* * *

Well, there you have it. –sigh- hope it wasn't too disappointing. Sorry for the long wait!

This is bound to have lots of mistakes so please point them out. This is not betaed!


	13. Grey

**-Love and Forget: These Loving Memories-  
By: Concubine99**

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Harry Potter or its context.

**Warning(s):** Slash, Amnesia, **Sexual Context**, Angst, Mpreg, Language, Underage -Harry's sixteen-

**Main Paring: **Tom Riddle(Voldemort)/Harry Potter

**Side Pairings**: Sirius/Remus, Severus/Lucius, Draco/Blaise, Ron/Hermione,

**Summary: **Harry's memories are gone but he's gained an imaginary life with three friends who have their own drama and a lover- a Tom who's known by the world as the Dark Lord Voldemort.

**A/N**: NOT BETAED!_

* * *

_

**Chapter Eleven  
****Grey**_: __  
Like the bleak outlook, like the truth let out

* * *

_

He woke up to a bright light that had him wincing and to the sound of breathing. It didn't take him long to realize it was his breathing that echoed in his ears and that he was on a bed- a foreign bed. He cracked opened his eyes slowly, careful not to temporary blind himself with the bright light that seemed to emanate from the walls and ceiling.

There were other beds in the large room, large windows and-

Steps interrupted his musing. An older woman walked towards him, her face pleasant enough despite the wrinkles and graying hair. "Mr. Potter, I'm glad to see you're awake." She said with a small smile. "Here, dear."

She handed him a small bottle. "For the headache you no doubt have."

And he realized she was right- he did. He grabbed the vial, the pain suddenly becoming intolerable and it was only when all the potion was gone that he realized the situation.

She- a stranger- had given him a strange potion and called him-

"Potter?" he asked. "Is that what you called me?"

"Why, yes, that is your surname last time I checked."

Harry's brows furrowed in bewilderment. "I-" yet he stalled; that could be his last name, he realized. Tom had never mentioned his surname…just Harry.

"Where am I?" he asked, "Where's Tom!?" Harry suddenly felt fear hit him, remembering Bella- remembering her cold fingers gripping him and her voice-

"No…" he whispered, eyes wide. He knew with certainty that he was no longer with Tom or at their home. The lady frowned slightly. "Mr. Potter-"

"Don't touch me!" he screamed as he scrambled off the bed, his legs tangling themselves in the sheets. "Mr. Potter!" she exclaimed in surprise.

"No! No! My name's Harry, alright!? Harry and I want to go home; I want to see Tom-"

"That won't be possible, Harry."

He stilled, feet on the floor and sheets tangled around his legs and hips. His eyes were wide, mouth slightly open as his whole body shook.

"Who- who are you?"

"Albus Dumbledore," The old man replied. "Don't you remember, Harry?"

Harry's shoulders grew stiff, his large eyes narrowing in anger. "You!" he spat. Dumbledore took a step closer. "Harry-"

"Stay away from me!" Harry screamed.

"Harry, please," the black-haired man who stood besides the aged wizard said. Harry's eyes snapped towards him and he couldn't help the spark of familiarity that ignited in his heart.

It did nothing for his anger, however. "How do you expect me to calm down when I've been kidnapped?!" Harry hissed. "Tom will get me back! Just like he did last time!"

"That's not going to happen" Dumbledore said with a somber shake of his head. "We will not allow it, Harry."

"It doesn't matter! Tom loves me, he'll get me back, just you wait and see!" He was breathing heavily, his whole body tense yet shaking in his anxiety and fear.

"Harry," the brunette said. "It's not true, alright? Whatever that snake bastard said, it's not true!"

"Don't you dare insult him!" Harry said with a glare.

"Please, my boy, you have to-"

"No! Enough!" Harry shouted, "I don't have to listen to this, I don't!" he managed to free himself from the sheets, ignoring the nurse's attempt to help him.

"It's Sirius, Harry, don't you remember? Nothing at all?"

"Let go of me!" Harry ordered, continuing to fight against him despite Sirius's grip on his shoulders. He fought with the older man, tried to pull himself out of the man's grasp but couldn't.

"Let GO!" he finally roared, glass shattering around him.

"He lied to you," Sirius said softly, ignoring the shattered glass and cracking windows. "He took you from us- fed you lies. He's-"

Harry managed to free himself, a punch landing on Sirius's cheek before anyone else could blink. "If you think I'm going to believe you for one second-" he said with a cold gaze, "Then you're sadly mistaken. I know enough- I know what he has done-" he pointed to Dumbledore "-with the help of his little Order!"

The two steps he took crashed him onto the bed where he fell. He scrambled to the other side and away from the still stunned brunette.

"You- you are the cause of everything! And just because I don't have my memories!" a sharp, quick pain at his temple made him wince, "just because of that doesn't mean I'm so gullible as to betray Tom!"

He tried to see an opening, a way of escaping- and found none.

_Tom…_

He wanted to leave. He didn't want to hear the person who killed his parents, who caused Tom so much trouble- he wanted to go home, to his lover and to their home.

"You need to calm down, Harry," Dumbledore said. "You're not well. The potion, your heart-"

You took me! You kidnapped me and now you want to pretend you care about me!?" Harry snapped. "Nice try!"

Dumbledore stared at him with a pleading expression, taking two steps closer to the skittish boy. "Harry-"

"DON'T! STAY AWAY FROM ME!" Harry was near hysterics, his face was red with anger and hatred and his breathing shallow.

"That's enough."

Harry knew that voice, knew it so well. He felt his anger leave him as joy and relief washed over him at the sight of the man. "Severus!" he cried out in glee as he practically dashed towards the wizard. "Severus, help me, please! Get me out of here!"

"Why would I do that?" Severus asked softly, his black eyes like dark liquid. "This is where you belong, Harry."

Harry felt his heart stop- if only for a second. He shook his head, his eyes wide. "No…Severus…please. You're- you're Tom's-"

"He's not who you think he is, Harry," Severus said softly, his eyes firm and his lips tugged into a thin line. "He truly isn't."

Harry moved away from the man, a look in his eyes that spoke of mistrust and hurt. "How can you say that? Tom…he is…he is…"

"You know nothing about him, Harry," Severus said, "Nothing that is _true_. Do you even know your last name? Haven't you ever wondered why you're not allowed into the library? Why there are no portraits of you in the manor-"

"I haven't seen the whole manor…the portraits…they're there…Tom said-"

"Do you know why you haven't regained any of your memories, Harry?"

"I-"

"He's been poisoning you," Severus said bluntly. "That potion he has you drink every night? It keeps all your memories shattered, keeps you dependent of that man…he's no lover of yours, Harry. He's lied to you, since the beginning."

"No- no, you're wrong!" Harry cried out, but there was a flicker of uncertainty in his gaze, in his shaky expression. "He loves me! He does; he would never-"

"That monster feels nothing for you except sadistic contempt," Severus spat out.

"Severus, perhaps you should-"

"No," Severus cut in. "No! No more; will you have me gently tell him that he's been with the enemy? That he's been deceived and lied to? Want me to hold his hand while I tell him he's slept with the man that killed his parents!"

Harry let out a choked sob as Sirius and Dumbledore's wide eyes shifted towards the shaking boy. "Harry, Harry is this-"

"No, no, no," Harry mumbled as the palm of his hands pressed against his temples. "You're…you're lying…not Tom…Tom, he's…no! I don't, I can't!"

"Deep inside, you've always known there was something strange about the situation, about how the Dark Lord acted around you, how those suppose friends of yours acted-"

"They are my friends!" Harry cut in, tears starting to collect in his eyes. "They are my best friends! How can you just- just stand there, criticizing them, him!? You were a part of my life! Are you saying you were lying then, or now, Severus, which one!?"

Severus was silent for a moment, watching the boy who seemed filled with too many emotions, ready to burst yet holding on, wanting to know the truth yet holding onto the lies. Severus felt his heart give a jerk, knowing this was his fault also, that he had allowed this to happen. Allow Harry Potter to fall.

"I had no choice then…but I could not…did not want to continue lying to you…that is why you are here. To remember- _truly_ remember."

Harry shook his head. The back of his knees hit the bed and he instinctively sat on the mattress, his expression suddenly dead. "Leave me alone….please…." he said softly, so softly that they barely heard him.

"Harry-"

"Just go…please," he said as he settled onto the bed and curled into himself. He closed his eyes tightly, tried to close himself off, tried to distance himself from the room and ignore the nagging doubt.

It couldn't be true…it couldn't. They were the enemies…they were. They simply wanted to turn him against Tom…wanted him to hate him...

Harry wasn't aware when he fell asleep, only that small sobs were the last thing he heard.

----

It was dark, a pitch black surrounding without even a speck of light anywhere. It didn't worry him, however. He felt warm and welcoming and he was instantly reminded of Tom.

His heart ached. _Tom…_

_Harry? _The voice startled him and he jumped slightly.

He had not expected anything to respond. It called again his name, softly and he responded, knowing that voice like he would know his own. _Yes, Tom?_

And suddenly, the man was right there. He was just as he always looked yet there was something in his expression that showed his worry, that expressed his anger. "Oh Harry," he whispered as he approached the younger wizard, his hands cupping the boy's face. He caressed a cheek lovingly, a small smile tugging his lips. "My angel," he whispered as he dropped a kiss on Harry's forehead.

"How is this possible?" Harry asked, his eyes showing his confusion.

"We have always been connected," Tom responded with a small tilt of his head. "You and I…we can share a mind if we wish…we can share our dreams."

Harry seemed even more confused, a question on his lips but Tom beat him to the questioning. "Where did she take you? Tell me, quickly."

"I- I'm not sure," he whispered. "Tom…Dumbledore is here." Tom seemed to stiffen, a look of pure hatred twisting his features.

"Tom?"

"She took you to that fool!" he hissed, his voice filled with his disdain. Harry let out a small sound that seemed to snap Tom out of his anger. "Forgive me, my little love," he mumbled. "I must admit I have not slept well without your warmth…"

"Tom…?" Harry asked, "They told me something…something I won't believe because I know it's not true…it can't be true…but can I ask you anyway?"

There was uncertainty in Tom's expression before he nodded, his eyes firm yet his caress on Harry's cheek was gentle and reassuring. "Have you lied to me? This whole time…?"

"What?" Tom asked, his eyes slightly narrowed.

Harry swallowed. "I just…I just want you to deny it, that's all. It's not true, right? You weren't the one who killed my parents…you're not the enemy…right?"

Tom was silent, his gaze drilling into Harry's as his lips pursed into a tight line. Harry instantly regretted asking.

"I'm sorry- I-I shouldn't have asked that. I know it's not true and stuff…it's just- with Sev-"

"It's true," Tom blurted out and he nearly cringed. Those words were not what he had wanted to say. He had not wanted to tell Harry the true; he wanted to lie; compel him to escape his imprisonment, return to Tom's side. Tom wanted to keep Harry, wanted to protect him from the pain he would no doubt feel the moment he realized he was originally just a tool to Tom.

"W-what?" Harry asked, his eyes wide and his lips trembling.

"I-whatever they said," Tom said slowly and with eyes that glittered with guilt and pain, "It will no doubt all be true."

"So…you killed me parents? You're the terror of the Wizarding World? You're the enemy?" Harry asked softly, slowly.

"Yes," Tom said, not being able to lie as those green eyes stared at him imploringly. "I am."

Harry's whole body seemed to shake and he suddenly jerked himself from Tom's grip. "You've lied to me! This whole time! You fucking, miserable piece of-"

"Harry!" Tom cried out as he grabbed his flying arms yet the boy struggled, jerked and pulled away from Tom. "Let go, let go, let go, let go!"

"Harry, please listen to me, please!"

"No! You- you," Harry gave out a small scream that spoke of pain and outrage. "You've used me, you _used_ me!"

"I- Harry, please, simply listen," Tom said softly, his grip on Harry's arms tightening. "Just listen!" he finally snapped.

"No!" Harry said with the same anger and tone as Tom. "I don't need to listen to anything you have to say, Voldemort! Nothing!"

"What did you just call me?" he asked, shocked. That name suddenly sounded foreign on Harry's lips for Tom had gotten use to his old blasted name, the name he had hated with a passion; now he simply wanted Harry to refer to him by it.

"Voldemort!" Harry shouted without flinching, his anger pushing his pain to the furthest depth of his mind. "Tom- Tom never existed, did he!? DID HE?!"

"For you," Tom spat, "He existed for you, only for you, my treasure."

It came so suddenly, Tom was more surprised by the action than the pain it delivered. He had not realized that Harry had freed his arm and he had missed the moment the boy had raised his hand but his cheek stung with the force of Harry's slap and he suddenly ached somewhere deep inside.

Harry seemed surprised also, his eyes wide and his mouth open and his hand reached out to caress the bruised cheek almost without his notice but he caught it in time and jerked his hand back to his side before taking several steps back. "Never," he said softly, so very soft that Tom barely heard it. "Never call me that, never again. I'm nothing of yours."

The words themselves seemed to cause Harry pain for his face twisted into a horrible grimace and Tom could see the tears start to collect once again in Harry's eyes.

"Angel-"

Yet the boy turned his back towards him, his hands rising to cover his ears as his eyes closed shut tightly. "Wake up, wake up, wake up, wake-"

And he was awake.

A gasp left him as suddenly, everything came into focus, the blankets, the beds and windows. He was still for a moment, his mind still blank and then everything came smashing to the surface and he knew like he knew he was awake, that what he had dreamt was true.

He let the sobs leave him, deciding not to try and control his emotions but let them play as they wished. He hated, absolutely hated, how much it hurt, how stupid he had been, how pathetic, clinging onto his enemy, onto the man who had murdered his parents, murdered so many people, the villain in his life.

But most of all, he hated how despite the truth being in the light, despite the now morphing memories that were blurry and unfocused and yet spoke of a hatred for this Voldemort, despite all this…he still loved Tom, still loved him so much it made his heart, his head and his very soul hurt.

He loved the man, and all his transgressions, all his sins had been forgiven and he hated it, felt his stomach twist into knots at the knowledge. That he could not, not for a single moment, keep that hatred he once felt for the man in his chest, couldn't hold that old grudge, couldn't despise him.

He patted his chest, suddenly feeling the cold object and with a start, remembered the locket. He took it from underneath his shirt as he sat up, his hands caressing the locket, the large _S _and taking in how it glowed.

It suddenly burned his eyes and he closed them as he gave the locket a weak tug, not enough to break it but he gave another and another, all as weak and futile. He gave a sigh as he gripped the locket and pressed it against his chest, trying to sooth the aching heat with the cold metal.

It nearly worked.

----

The month of August was, to put it lightly, hell.

It seemed, and these were Severus's words, that his memories were actually coming back, had been trying to form since perhaps his second week with the Dark Lord…only the potion forced his memories apart, kept them scattered. Once every last drop of the potion left his system…well, it became painful.

Every little memory, every scattered, fragmented remembrance, the moment they came to the surface or started to glue themselves together, it felt like someone was drilling an ice pick through his eye. The memory would rise to the surface, replay themselves as if a vision and the noise would be too loud, nearly splitting his hear drums and the lights were too bright, nearly blinding him.

It was just another reason not to want his memories back.

With his memories slowly and twistingly returning, he had hoped that he would learn to hate Tom once again, frankly, that was what everyone hoped for. Yet it did not happen like that.

He still dreamt of Tom although it was mostly of happy things, of memories with the older man. He dreamt of his kisses, his gifts and his smile. Harry always woke up wanting more than anything to escape Hogwarts, if only to go and search for Tom…but no, he would remind himself. Tom didn't truly exist. There was only Voldemort…and Voldemort was not Tom, was nothing but a monster.

And Harry loved Tom.

It did not help matters that he had been sick as of late. His stomach seemed to suddenly dislike everything Harry managed to swallow and he was tired…always so very tried that sometimes he spent the whole day sleeping.

Pomfrey said he was depressed, clinically depressed, and Harry would have agreed with her if it wasn't for the fact that he didn't always feel like shit. Sometimes, for no apparent reason, he would feel absolutely fine, almost happy. Those moments, didn't last long however.

"Mr. Potter," came a muffled voice through the door and Harry simply rolled towards the other side, having his back face the door.

Once the initial shock of learning the truth had worn out, Dumbledore had suggested that Harry use one of the private rooms in Hogwarts. Of course, even knowing the truth, Harry could not quite find himself to apologize or even care for the people who were once precious to him.

Even now, memories and all, he only felt a small spark of affection for them, and that worried him more than anything. Had Tom tainted him so? Twisted his mind so much that the only person Harry could love was him?

"Potter, I'm coming in," the voice said and a moment later, Severus walked in, a tray in hand. "It's three in the afternoon, Potter. What are you still doing in bed?"

Harry didn't bother to answer as he dug his face into the pillow. He was tired yet fully awake.

"Come, come, are you going to starve yourself? Those friends of yours are coming today. Are you going to let them see you like this?"

"Go away," Harry mumbled and that alone nearly took all his energy.

"Eat."

Harry gave a small motion with his head, the only thing he could do with the little energy he had left.

"Potter!"

"Shut up!" Harry snapped, suddenly filled with so much energy he didn't know what to do with it. How strange. "Just shut up! Fussing over me isn't going to undo what you did, alright! So cut it off and leave me the fuck alone!"

Severus grabbed his chin roughly, a glare in place that had the same affect it once had when Harry was eleven. "You listen to me, Harry Potter," Severus hissed. "It's tragic and unfair what has happened to you and by the Gods, you have every right to be angry with me but to not be so foolish to think I am taking care of you out of guilt. Guilt is a useless emotion, one which I will not let rule me," Severus said with much force and yet there was a flicker in his eyes that went against what he said. Harry had a feeling the man had let his guilt overrule him many times before. "You will eat and you will get better or you will die pathetically. Is that what you want? A little romantic mishap and you suddenly fall apart! Well you are neither the first nor the last to feel love's betrayal; now EAT!"

Harry stared at him without a hint of emotion. "Save your philosophies for someone who cares. I don't want to eat, I don't want to see anyone; I don't want to talk about it to you or to anyone today. I just want to sleep or try to sleep and if not that, at the very least, I want to lie here, _alone_."

Harry pulled away from the older wizard's grasp. "Please…just go. Tomorrow…tomorrow I will eat and see Ron and Hermione. Tomorrow."

Severus wanted to protest but instead, with a sigh, left the tray on the nightstand and left. Harry could hear his footsteps even though he was out of the room and he heard when Severus slammed the front door closed.

Harry closed his eyes, willing sleep to come and take him away, if only for that moment. Yet it did not come. He laid on the bed for the rest of the day, his stomach bound tight with knots of hunger and nausea, and his mind dark with heavy thoughts and painful memories.

----

Draco was only aware that Harry was in Hogwarts.

He did not known what had become of his pseudo-friend and he could not quite help it. He wanted to know, Blaise saying it was not quite worth running into Hogwarts to find out. Especially seeing as the Boy-Who-Lived probably knew of their deception.

Blaise had always loved pointing out the things many wished to keep in the dark. Draco could never go to Blaise for lies or for any reassurance that would involve slight deception. Yet Harry…Harry had done so a few times, given him that knowing smile and would say something like 'it's not _that_ bad' when it truly was and they would both know it was but Draco could at least feel a bit of tension leave him. Harry would change the subject, would rotate the subject around so slowly and carefully that Draco would barely notice, barely notice himself accepting the idea.

Blaise had no tact for such a thing. He barely _had_ tact.

Draco's eyes zoomed immediately on Harry as the boy sat down, his two best friends on either side of him.

The boy…well, he looked horrible.

"The boy looks like he was battling dragons again," Blaise said with a small scoff. "If this is what comes from the truth, perhaps the boy was better off with the Dark Lord."

"Well, I'm worried," Theo said with a glare towards Blaise's direction. "Harry was our friend for that bit of time-"

"Pretending," Blaise said with a roll of his eyes.

"Doesn't matter. We become his friends and he, ours. Just because you can't admit-"

"Just shut up, no one asked you," Blaise snapped.

Theo rolled his eyes. "So you have a sympathetic dysfunction; get over it. He was our friend- at least mine."

"We were pretending!" Blaise hissed.

Theo turned towards Draco with hard eyes. "Draco-"

Yet the roaring of applauses and the beginning of the Sorting stopped whatever Theo was going to ask. Draco didn't need to hear it and he was rather glad we wasn't made to answer Theo's question.

The Sorting and Dumbledore's announcement passed by in a blur to Draco, as did the eating. Blaise and Theo continued their banter, for some reason their usually calm manner of speaking gone.

Draco just tried to ignore it. He didn't want to be involved in this discussion. He didn't want to think about how Harry felt, about how awful the boy looked, how tired and miserable. He just wanted to pretend he didn't care. But he did.

It was only when they were all heading out to their rooms that it all truly hit Draco.

Harry and his two friends were the last to leave and Draco, nearly crashed into him. The boy simply stared, a look of perhaps surprise and relief washing over him. But the look quickly disappeared as anger and pain filtered through. Obviously he had just remembered that Draco had also lied to him.

Harry's hands seemed to clench and his two friends leaned forward as if to encourage him. "Harry-"

"You are," he began, halting whatever his friends were going to say. "You are even more despicable than I had originally thought, Draco."

His eyes swept towards the other two- Blaise and Theo. "All of you are…and the very sad thing is, I still nearly believe you are my friends."

It seemed that was all he wished to say for he turned slightly, about ready to continue on his way when he stopped abruptly. "You mention this, _ever_," he said softly and with such coldness that Draco could feel a shiver running through his spine. "And you'll regret it."

As the blonde watched Harry leave, Hermione and Ron trailing after him, it suddenly hit him with such force that he could feel his chest tightening. Blaise's hand wrapped around Draco's arm. "Draco? Are you alright?"

"How could I be? My best friend wants nothing to do with me," Draco said softly and with a bitter smile. "Are you going to say he was just my pretend best friend, Blaise?"

Blaise didn't. His eyes showed his pain and sorrow briefly. Draco couldn't tell if it was because he was upset or because Blaise truly missed Harry also.

-----

alrighty! So sorry for the late update! Classes have been completely chaotic! November is turning out to be a nightmare for me! But once the first week of December is done, I'm free until next Semester.

Anyway, This was originally going to be a bit longer but I realized if I had placed everything I wanted to put in this chapter, it would have seemed rush. Anyway, hopefully, I'll be able to update soon enough! This story doesn't have that many chapters left, so yeah!

thanks for those who stuck by it!

NOT BETAED! please ignore all the really stupid mistakes. **Would anyone want to be the beta for this whole story? **

**Poll's UP! Go check it out!  
**


	14. Cerulean

**-Love and Forget: These Loving Memories-  
By: Concubine99**

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Harry Potter or its context.

**Warning(s):** Slash, Amnesia, **Sexual Context**, Angst, Mpreg, Language, Underage -Harry's sixteen-

**Main Paring: **Tom Riddle(Voldemort)/Harry Potter

**Side Pairings**: Sirius/Remus, Severus/Lucius, Draco/Blaise, Ron/Hermione,

**Summary: **Harry's memories are gone but he's gained an imaginary life with three friends who have their own drama and a lover- a Tom who's known by the world as the Dark Lord Voldemort.

**A/N**: _Please do read all the ending notes and the A/N's I put up. They may be long but a lot of the information is important!

* * *

_

**Chapter Twelve  
****Cerulean**_  
Like children's giggles, like the product of love

* * *

_

He woke up to an empty bed, a coldness in his bones and an anger that burned his blood. He didn't bother staying in bed after awaking.

He hadn't summoned any of his followers since Harry's birthday. All his planning had been put on hold and fuck, if that didn't sting a bit.

Where had all his pride gone, he thought bitterly. If the boy didn't want to talk to him, didn't want to even give him a chance to explain, why should he continue to try, continue to _care_?

"Because I love him," he mumbled to himself and somewhere deep inside his mind, something protested. A small part of him didn't want to admit it, wanted to see Harry simply as his enemy, a tool…but he couldn't do it.

Somehow the boy had gotten into his shriveled heart and managed to make it beat for him.

When he had told Harry the truth, it was with the knowledge that the boy would no doubt feel betrayed, feel used and he wouldn't be surprised if the boy hated him…but he couldn't give up. He had to have Harry back. He had to and he wasn't going to allow anything, _anyone_, to stop him.

He had not even bothered to summon anyone, had postponed all his plans but it had been too long, he realized.

He needed to get everything back in motion.

* * *

He woke up tired, hungry and with a feeling that he had just swallowed a Snitch. The other boys were already getting ready for the day and he turned towards Ron.

"Why didn't you wake me up?"

"Honesty?" Ron asked with a worried and sympathetic glance. "You looked tired –even while sleeping. Thought you could use the rest."

Harry gave him a small smile, trying to show his gratitude. "Thanks," he said. "But I'm alright now."

The statement didn't fool his friend but Ron nodded anyway. "Sure, Harry."

Harry didn't respond as he made his way towards the bathroom, his stomach protesting not because of hunger but with unease. He just felt sick. It was the only way he could explain it.

He got ready for another day, ignoring the flashes of his dreams. Tom still hadn't given up on contacting him. No matter what Harry was dreaming about, and it usually involved the Dark Lord, Tom would somehow enter his mind or in some cases, he would manage to pull Harry into his.

Harry woke himself up whenever that seemed to be happening, never truly giving Tom a chance to say anything. Harry knew he couldn't face the older wizard, at least not now.

Nearly everyone around him expected everything go to back to how it once was. Ron and Hermione, bless them, were trying. They were really trying to be there, support him…but he couldn't tell them what he was really thinking; that the reason why he was always so tired was because he would wake up in the middle of the night, afraid of going back to sleep and seeing Tom.

They probably knew, though. It was like everyone knew. The stares, the whispers…

They all knew and they all pitied him.

Except the Slytherins. They were unnaturally quiet and Harry wondered if it had anything to do with the Dark Lord.

Ron was waiting for him when he came out. Harry threw him a quick grin before gathering his supplies and stuffing them into his bag. "Alright, ready."

Harry walked towards his friend and just as he made his way passed the door, his friend stopped him by a hand on his shoulder. "Harry…I- you said his name last night."

"Oh," Harry said, suddenly trying to remember when that could have been. "Did they…?"

"I think I was the only one awake," Ron said. "You're still not over him… not even a little?"

"A little," Harry said with a firm nod. Ron didn't seem to believe him. "At least tell me he's stopped contacting you."

"Tom's stubborn," Harry said. Ron raised an eyebrow. "Tom?"

"You don't like me calling him Voldemort."

"Never stopped you before," Ron pointed out.

"So I'm being considerate," Harry said with a shrug. "Can we go now? I'm hungry and we don't have much time before our first class."

Ron gave a sigh. "Sure."

Hermione was waiting for them downstairs, a large tome in her arms. "Well finally. I was about to leave you two behind."

"Sorry, Hermione," Harry said. "Woke up late."

Hermione gave a small huff. "I was beginning to think you were thinking of skipping breakfast…again."

"Food's been making me queasy," Harry grumbled, feeling as if he had to defend himself. "But I feel better today."

"Hm," Hermione mumbled with shrewd eyes and Harry knew the witch would be watching him while he ate. "Perhaps you should see Madam Pomfrey-"

"No," Harry said with finality. "I spent the majority of the last month with her. I'd rather not see her if I can help it."

"You look like you didn't sleep."

"Well, I did," Harry said with a sigh. "Are you going to nag the whole way down to breakfast?"

Hermione gave a huff. "Well!" she said but Harry could see she was still worried. He shook the slight sting of guilt.

He wished more than anything that his emotions had an off button. They weren't helping him sleep, weren't helping him eat, weren't helping with his tiredness and his inability to stop crying at times. He couldn't even take off the damn locket, his heart hurting every time the thought of throwing away the jewelry came to mind. Dumbledore had attempted to take it away the first week of his return and Harry had nearly blown up the entire Infirmary.

Hermione and Ron would glance at it whenever it wasn't hidden under Harry's shirt and robes and he could tell they were dying to ask but they never did. Harry wondered if they were warned not to. Even now, he could feel the metal against his skin and he wasn't sure if his heart ached in response.

It was suddenly hard taking the last few steps left to enter the Great Hall. His breathing changed as pain shot through him, the ache mostly in his stomach. A gasp left him and he leaned against the closet wall, his arms wrapping around his stomach with his eyes closed tightly.

"Harry!"

They were shouting his name and he really wished they hadn't. A headache was starting to form just behind his eyes and was traveling to his temples. It was several minutes, at least it felt like several minutes, before he opened his eyes.

The pain was mostly gone although the headache remained, if only slightly better. "I-I'm ok. A stomachache."

"Harry, something is wrong," Hermione said firmly and with no room for argument. "You've been getting these stomach pains for a while now. You need to go see Madam Pomfrey."

Harry wanted to protest but both his friends were looking at him with grave determination and he realized that if he didn't go see Pomfrey, they would no doubt go to Dumbledore. He didn't want to worry anyone else and so he nodded in agreement. "Fine…I'll go. Save me some fruit and tell McGonagall that I'll be in the Infirmary."

"We're going with you!" Ron said. "Come on, Harry. We won't just-"

"No, it's alright. I don't want you to miss breakfast and class. I'll be fine." He gave them a small smile, trying to reassure them. It seems like he had been doing a lot of reassuring lately.

They shared a glance and for a moment, Harry didn't feel as if he was part of the group but such thoughts lasted but a second. He gave a small wave before turning and walking towards the Infirmary.

He tried not to think about anything in particular but it seemed like nothing meaningless would hold his attention for long. He didn't want to think about how worried everyone was. Letters from Sirius and Remus came daily, wondering how he was, if he was feeling better…

Dumbledore seemed to always be glancing at him as if expecting Harry to just break down any second. Harry didn't blame him. Perhaps the only one who didn't act strange around him was Snape but even the Potions Master seemed almost…civil towards him.

Then there was the matter of his heart. There were no _permanent_ damages but the heartstrings within the potion given to him had been slightly more powerful than the _Moon Lilies_. Snape estimated that if he had continued to drink the potion, it would have eventually caused permanent damage, even with the _Moon Lilies_ present. Pomfrey wouldn't clear him for Quidditch for at least another month, and thus he was left with very few options when it came to distracting himself.

He didn't want to go to the Infirmary and have Pomfrey poke at him, listing away what else was wrong with him. He gave a small sigh, wanting to grumble and stomp his foot but instead he entered the Infirmary and caught sight of Pomfrey almost immediately.

"Mr. Potter!" Madam Pomfrey exclaimed in surprise. "What are you doing here?"

"My stomach," Harry said with a small pat to his abdomen. "It's been bothering me for a while now."

She frowned. "Oh, really?"

Harry nodded, already sitting on one of the unoccupied beds. "It's not always, but frequent enough that Hermione wants me to find out what's wrong."

"Could you describe the pain, please?" Pomfrey asked, her wand already in hand as she walked towards him.

"Like cramps," Harry said, a blush already forming. "Ron joked I was turning into a girl…err…Hermione didn't really think it was funny."

Pomfrey gave a small sniff, her displeasure evident at the joke. "I swear, Mr. Weasley sometimes amazes me with his immaturity." She gave a small sigh. "How bad are these…cramps?"

"Bad," Harry said. "They don't last for too long but they hurt like hell."

Pomfrey titled his head. "And by _stomach_ you mean?"

"From my navel and down," Harry said.

Pomfrey stilled for a moment, a look crossing her features that could have been considered horror. "Madam Pomfrey-"

"Lay down, dear," she instructed and Harry did as ordered, slight worry twisting his features. "Is something wrong?"

"Oh, nothing, nothing at all. Just, when you said from navel and down…I was reminded of something," Pomfrey gave a brittle smile as she waved her wand over his stomach. "But that would be…"

The words died on her lips, Harry's stomach glowing a dull blue. "Uh…is my stomach supposed to do that?"

"Oh Merlin," she whispered, her eyes shining with sympathy. "Not him…this, oh my dear boy."

"What?" Harry asked. "Is something…Madam Pomfrey, is something wrong?"

"I-" she shook her head. "I think I will do another test," she gave a small nod. "Nothing to worry about. No doubt a mistake."

She walked away from him and towards the other side of the room. "Be back in a bit, dear," she said and walked into her office. Harry watched her go with a certain level of dread. Was something wrong? It sure seemed like it. Pomfrey nearly looked as if she had just discovered he had cancer.

But wait, did wizards suffer from cancer? Harry tilted his head. He couldn't quite remember ever hearing anyone suffering from it…at least not in the Wizarding World.

She came back and Harry had the thought of asking her if cancer had been cured in the Wizarding World when she handed him a needle. "We do this the old fashion way," she said. "Spells that cut the skin tend to leave a residue and will affect the outcome of this specific test."

"Excuse me?" Harry asked, surprised. "Wait, what are we talking about?"

"Prick your finger for me and then squeeze three drops of your blood into this potion," Pomfrey said kindly. Harry eyed her strangely. Was he dying?

"Uh…alright," he said. He pricked his finger, wincing slightly at the sensation although it was more unpleasant than hurtful. Pomfrey held the potion open and close enough to him that he barely had to reach out to administer the three drops of blood.

She capped the vial, not giving it even a moment before she twirled the contents of the potion around. Harry watched her with curiosity and yet more than slightly anxious as he sucked on his prickled finger.

Harry could see his three drops of blood swirling within the clear liquid, turning the potion a pinkish hue. He waited for something to happen, for the liquid to turn an odd color or suddenly start to bubble but nothing happened and yet Pomfrey continued to swirl the contents, her expression desperate.

"Madam Pomfrey…?" he said tentatively. "Is my blood…ok?"

"Oh dear," she whispered, looking at the vial with such worry that Harry began to feel his anxiety worsen. His stomach did a harsh twist and he gave it a small pat, trying to dispel the feeling.

"Mr. Potter," she began softly. "I must ask you something very important and you must answer me truthfully, alright?"

Harry gave a silent nod.

"It was…mentioned that during your…stay with…_him_ that the two of you had an intimate relationship…this is true, correct?"

Harry nearly flinched. Nearly.

"Yes," He said curtly, his face showing little of the conflicting emotions within him.

"And since then you have not-"

"No," Harry snapped. "That was the first and the last time, alright? What the hell does that have to do with my stomachaches?"

"Were you given any potion- besides the one for your memories, during your stay, Mr. Potter? It would have been a bluish color and would have tasted almost like milk?"

"No," Harry said. "I was not given any bluish-milk potion!" Harry snapped. "What the hell is going on!?"

"You're pregnant," Pomfrey said bluntly and Harry's world seemed to have suddenly stopped.

"I'm sorry," Harry said. "It seems I went delusional for a second there; could you repeat that?"

Pomfrey gave a small sigh. "It's not the most common thing- a male pregnancy without the aid of a potion but there are natural bearers…and it seems you are one of them, Mr. Potter."

"No…that's- that's not-"

"This is a pregnancy detector," Pomfrey said softly. "When the blood reacts with the potion, it is supposed to turn a vibrant purple if one is not pregnant; the absence of the specific chemicals that are present during pregnancy is what changes the color. When the chemicals are present…it reacts with the potion and it will seem as if you had simply added blood to water."

Harry shook his head. "No…no- you…you're wrong," Harry whispered. "It's…"

"Your symptoms are very common during male pregnancies," Pomfrey said. "Your body, with the help of your magic, is trying to make…room and certain needed changes."

Harry closed his eyes, trying to find a way to get a hold of his own breathing. Had Tom planned this? Had he wanted to start a family with Harry? Yet that same doubt and self-loathing quickly entered him. No, Tom was Voldemort…he was simply Voldemort, the same man who killed Harry's parents and-

"-to keep it."

"What?" Harry asked before taking a deep breath, "I- what, say that again?"

"There is an…operation done," Pomfrey seemed truly uncomfortable. "It is understandable if you do not wish to keep-"

"You're saying I should have an abortion," Harry said calmly, his eyes narrowed slightly.

"No," Pomfrey said. "I am not; but no one would blame you if you chose to-"

"I would blame myself," Harry snapped. He was tired but he was also angry. Angry at the very thought of killing his unborn child. "I'm keeping my tyke," Harry said. There was a finality to his words that seemed to surprise Pomfrey.

"Mr. Potter, are you sure-"

"Is there anything I need to take? Certain potions?"

"…Yes," she finally said, her surprise still evident. "There are certain potions that will help nourish the child."

"Is he ok?" Harry asked, his eyes flooding with worry. "I mean, it's been…" he flinched. "I've been pregnant for over a month-"

"Your magic has sustained the embryo so far," Pomfrey explained. "The fact that you are a rather powerful wizard has helped you. Like with women, the child would have taken its nourishment from you, but the amount needed is more than your body can handle. The potions will help you with that."

"Alright."

Pomfrey gave a small sigh, a look of perhaps pride flickering in her expression. "You have always been such a good young man, Harry," she whispered and she gave his head a small pat. Harry suddenly felt like a child. "I'll be here to help you and if you have any questions, any questions at all…you come to me immediately, yes?"

"Yes ma'am," Harry said. "Do you have the potions with you?"

"No," Pomfrey said. "Those kinds of potions are not as…needed as others," she said. "I will ask Severus to brew the needed amount for you."

Harry stood up. "Can I go back to my rooms now?"

"I would suggest it," Pomfrey said. "Take the rest of the day off. I will inform your teachers and Dumbledore of…" she gave an encouraging smile. "Well, you can go now if you wish."

Harry gave a simple nod, deciding he didn't want to talk anymore and hoping Madam Pomfrey knew he wanted to keep this as quiet as possible.

He arrived at Gryffindor Tower a few minutes later but he stopped suddenly, the sight before him surprising him.

It was Blaise.

"Harry," was his greeting and Harry would have smiled. It was such a Blaise thing to do, so stoic and blunt. Yet he didn't smile; he gave a glare- as he was suppose to- and walked passed him, having every intention of walking into the Tower.

Blaise grabbed him by the arm, his grip solid and Harry's felt his anger twist his stomach. "Don't touch me!" he snapped yet Blaise didn't release him.

"I asked Draco to marry me," Blaise said, ignoring Harry's shout. Harry blinked and suddenly, he was smirking. "Took you long enough," he said. "Theo and I had a-" Harry cleared his throat, realizing what he was doing.

It wasn't real, he reminded himself.

Blaise gave a small huff and one of those rare smiles curled his lips. "Theo's a prick," he said. "No matter how gentleman-like he acts."

Harry stayed silent, deciding that if he did not say anything, he wouldn't show just how much he missed his life with Tom, how much he missed his make-believe friends.

"You and Theo always seemed to think it was so easy," Blaise continued. "Just ask and Draco will no doubt say yes and the both of us will live happily ever after."

"I doubt you ever believed in such things, Zabini," Harry said with a roll of his eyes. "Can I have my arm back?"

"He didn't even answer me," Blaise said, releasing his hold. His arms fell to his sides and he gave a small sigh. "He ran away. You knew him in a way that even I did not…you were his best friend."

"It wasn't real," Harry said with a glare. "So don't you dare come here-"

"Theo says that just because it wasn't real, it doesn't mean the feelings were not there," Blaise said with a frown. "And as annoying as his ramblings have become, Theo is rarely wrong."

Harry stared at him in surprise. "You know how I am, Harry," Blaise said softly. "I have no point in coming here and continuing to pretend to be your friend; Theo still considers you a friend and Draco has become rather depressed since your departure. I would say it was real to them."

"I was lied to," Harry said. "Repeatedly…I was made a fool, and for what? For Tom's amusement?"

Zabini shrugged. "I don't know," he admitted as he ran his hand through his hair. "All I know is that you were our friend," Blaise said. "And thus…" he gave a sigh. "I am not in the habit of asking for favors, but I would like for you to speak to Draco. I have not seen him since this morning when I proposed…"

"And so what, you decided to come up here and wait until I arrived?"

"The rest of the _Golden Trio_ was in class and at breakfast while you were not. I assumed you either were sick inside or were running an errand. The woman in the portrait has a big mouth," Blaise said with a smug smirk. "She said she saw you leave so I decided to wait a bit."

"And if I didn't come this way?"

"Then you didn't come this way," Blaise said coolly. "I'm patient, to a fault, as can be seen with my proposal."

"He said no."

"He did no such thing," Blaise bristled. "He turned and ran. There's a difference."

"Yeah," Harry said with a smirk. "The fact that it wasn't verbal but corporeal."

Blaise glared. "I am asking you to help…a friend."

"Draco…or you, Blaise?"

"Both," Blaise snapped. "Alright? I considered you a friend, is that what you want to hear?"

Harry gave a small scoff but he turned around and Blaise gave a small grin. He could suddenly see why the Dark Lord fell in love the Boy-Who-Lived.

No matter what many of the Death Eaters thought, Blaise knew that the Dark Lord had truly fallen in love with him at some point. It was only a matter of time before the Dark Lord took Harry away.

"Does he even know that?" Blaise mumbled to himself, watching Harry's retreating back. Probably not, he mused, Harry could be awfully dense.

* * *

He didn't need the Marauder's Map to tell him where Draco was. It had come up on one of their few conversations revolving around Hogwarts. Draco had mentioned his fondness of the Astronomy Tower. Very few people went up there unless for Astronomy class and they only went up there once a week at night so Draco was usually alone and undisturbed.

So naturally, Harry was going to check there first.

As he expected, Draco was there, sitting on one of the many windowsills in the tower. He turned the moment he heard the footsteps and when he saw it was Harry, his grey eyes grew wide and his mouth opened in surprise.

"Harry…" he whispered. "What are you doing here?"

"You once said the Astronomy Tower was a good place to think," he mumbled, his gaze shifting around the room. "God knows I need that right about now."

"Really?" Draco said with a raised eyebrow. "Well, take a seat," he said simply and Harry, after a moment's hesitation, sat at the windowsill closest to Draco.

"I like how everything looks from up here," Draco said softly. "The grass, the rocks, the trees…it looks like it's from another world." He gave Harry a smile that didn't quite reach his eyes. "Do your thoughts wish an ear?" he asked.

"No," Harry said. "They're too busy slamming around in my head."

"Ah," Draco said softly before turning his gaze back to the window.

"How are your parents?" Harry asked, the awkwardness in the air starting to affect him.

"Father and mother are fighting again –it seems father hasn't been home in over a month," Draco cleared his throat. "He's been making quite a few visits to Hogwarts."

"Really? I haven't noticed," Harry said, surprise in his voice.

Draco gave a mirthless smile. "That's because he's not entering through the main entrance. It's not like he's here to see Dumbledore."

"Oh," Harry said softly, remembering the relationship between Lucius Malfoy and Hogwart's Potions Master. "Sorry."

It was like the dam broke.

"Oh gods," Draco whispered as he covered his face with his hands and let out a shuddering breath. "He's pregnant," Draco blurted out and Harry thought for a second that Draco was talking about him. "He's freaking pregnant and my mother's furious, my father's…he's, well I don't know what…and I- I just…I'm so lost," Draco admitted.

"Draco-"

"How could they do this!?" Draco cried out, standing up and Harry could see the distress clearly. "I've never questioned my father, never questioned Severus but now- now a child is on the way and they-" Draco bit his lip and suddenly, the tension left him as he collapsed back onto the windowsill.

"Feel better?" Harry asked, his head tilted slightly.

Draco looked at him in surprise before he gave a small laugh. "I've missed you," the blond confessed and Harry's expression shifted, showing his shock.

"I know you may not believe me but…you were really my friend," Draco gave a small smile. "I told you things I could never even tell Blaise."

"Speaking of Blaise," Harry said abruptly, deciding he would take the opportunity to change the subject. He didn't want to think about the past any more than he had to. "He asked you to marry him and you…ran away?"

"Don't say it like that!" Draco hissed.

"Like what?" Harry asked, his amusement coloring his words. "That's exactly what happened or so said Blaise."

Draco grumbled. "Now he decides to become the sharing kind of bloke."

"Seem so," Harry responded. He gave a sigh. "He's worried about you."

"He shouldn't have asked me such a thing!" Draco snapped. "He knows- he knows that I…"

"That you love him," Harry responded. "And I suppose he's just tired of…waiting, of stalling." Harry stood up. "He wanted me to talk to you; I'm not sure what he was expecting me to say…" he cleared his throat. "You love him and he loves you. Stop making it so difficult. So your father doesn't approve, big deal –rebel a little, throw a fucking tantrum, plead if you have to. You know your father will eventually say yes, especially now," Harry gave a roll of his eyes. "He knocked up his lover, he has about as much ground to lecture you about marriage as Blaise does when concerning the importance of showing emotions."

Draco's face showed his shock and disbelief and if it had been a time before Tom, Harry would have thrilled at the fact that he had managed to surprise a Malfoy, but now, it just left a nostalgic feeling in the pit of his stomach and so he left the Tower, not bothering to glance towards Draco's direction. He didn't run but his steps were unnaturally quick as he made his way towards the dormitories. He reached his own rooms and barely had time to throw his bag onto his bed before he was dashing towards the bathroom.

He wasn't quite sure what he was throwing up seeing as he missed breakfast and what he ate for dinner the day before wasn't nearly as much as he seemed to be introducing into the toilet, but it seemed like his stomach didn't quite care about logic.

When he felt that he was finished, that his stomach had settled down, he closed the lid, not bothering to move from his position except for lifting a hand to flush away the evidence of his sudden ill stomach.

He couldn't stop the tears that started to collect and leave his eyes and he didn't bother to. He was alone. He didn't have to put up a front, didn't have to act like he was slowly differentiating between his life with Tom and his real life.

His past memories had returned but they could not overrule the memories he had obtained during his stay with Tom and at times, he would wake up, not quite remembering what was the truth and patting his mattress for the warmth of Tom's body.

Talking to Blaise and Draco had been so easy, so simple – it felt so right and normal and it took constant reminders not to fall into the same old routine.

With Hermione and Ron, they were his best friends, he knew it now and he could feel that old love stirring within him when he saw or thought about them but the knowledge of their innocence, of Dumbledore's innocence and Sirius's identity didn't replace Tom or his make-believe friends.

There were two worlds swirling around in his head and at times, he couldn't keep them apart. His stomach was twisting into knots and as he laid a hand against it, he rememebered his condition and he gave a small sob, realizing that he now could never forget about Tom or their time together. That every time he would look at their child, he would remember. The sobs didn't lessen and he stayed on the cold floor, his head resting on his arms. It was only when a headache threatened to take over him from all his crying did Harry finally move towards his own bed after a quick cleaning of his hands and mouth. He dropped his bag on the floor and collapsed onto the bed, not even bothering to take off his shoes.

* * *

Dumbledore requested him after dinner through a letter. Harry scanned through it, not particularly caring what the letter said exactly but simply wanting to get the main picture. He folded it and tucked it away into his pocket.

"Who's it from?" Ron asked, his mouth filled with mashed potatoes. Hermione wrinkled her nose in distaste.

"Dumbledore," Harry said. "He wants to talk to me about what Pomfrey found out."

"You never did tell us what she said," Hermione reminded him. Harry rolled his eyes. "I know, you've reminded me already and I keep telling you I'm not saying anything until we're somewhere private," he said softly.

"Can we come then?" Ron asked. "To Dumbledore's, I mean."

Harry wanted to fidget in his seat but reframed. They would find out eventually. "Sure."

"You don't think Dumbledore will mind?"

"Well, seeing as we'll be talking about my body, I don't see how it's his choice!" Harry snapped. "Can we talk about something else please? Better yet, let's not talk. I'm hungry," he said and with that, he seemed to decide he was done talking for the rest of dinner, his attention on his plate and food.

Hermione and Ron shared a glance but took the not so subtle hint and resumed eating, their eyes flickering towards their friend occasionally.

Dumbledore's office seemed to be filled with people. Sirius and Remus were there, as was Madam Pomfrey and Professors Snape and McGonagall. Dumbledore sat behind his desk, a look of troubled musing in place and suddenly, Harry didn't want to do this.

It was his baby, after all, what did he have to discuss?

"Miss Granger, Mr. Weasley," Dumbledore said. "This will be a very private conversation, I do not think-"

"They'll find out eventually," Harry said. "Might as well just get this over with."

"Harry…" Sirius whispered.

"I'm pregnant," Harry blurted out. "And I'm keeping him. Don't care that it's his and don't care how old I am. I'm keeping him."

There was a still silence, Sirius looking about ready to collapse and Harry was thankful he was sitting. Hermione looked royally confused while Ron looked two steps away from passing out.

"Harry," Dumbledore said softly. "Are you sure about this? I am not in the habit of…encouraging termination but please think about this carefully. Perhaps…adoption afterwards?"

Harry gave a snort. "Yeah and you want me to name him Tom also? Perhaps he'll follow his father's footsteps?" Harry said dryly. Dumbledore seemed to flinch and Harry sighed. "I'm keeping him. I'll raise him and if anyone has a problem with it, well…I suppose they'll just have to deal with it."

"Harry!" Hermione hissed. "This- you have to think about this!"

"I am!" Harry snapped. "Merlin sake, is it that hard to believe I want to keep my own child?"

"Well…it's…it's his, isn't it?" Ron asked, his face reddening. Harry had never told them about his night with Tom.

"Well it sure as hell isn't yours!" Harry snarled. Ron seemed to jump slightly in surprise.

"I'm keeping him," Harry stressed again. "I don't care that it's Tom's."

"Harry…" Dumbledore drew in his attention. "You still love him, correct?"

Harry didn't respond and that was the only response the Headmaster needed for he gave a solemn nod. "He will find out eventually, Harry. A pregnancy is not something that can be hidden; no charms will hid the belly after the sixth month and once the general population knows, and they will, the Dark Lord will too."

"Well, if he is as everyone thinks he is, he won't care about me knocked up," Harry said softly. "He'll have a nice laugh about it but that's about it."

"Harry," Remus called out. "You don't honestly believe that, do you?"

"I don't know what to believe!" Harry snapped. "I have all these stupid memories up here that go against everything you-" he bit his tongue, knowing he was saying too much. "I just want to keep my kid, that's all."

"We're not going to force you to do anything you do not wish to do," Sirius said softly, his expression showing his sincerity. "We're just worried about you, kiddo. That's all."

"I'm fine," Harry said softly. "I took a nap."

"That's not what I meant."

"I know."

Sirius looked nearly heartbroken and Harry gave a small sigh. "I was thinking of taking a…break when the baby is born," Harry said softly. "Go somewhere…outside of England."

"What about your education?" Hermione asked, gaping.

Harry shrugged. "I doubt it's going to be the most important thing on my mind once he's born."

"You sure seem to be stuck to the thought of it being a boy," Pomfrey said with what could have been a gentle smile. "What if it turns out to be a girl?"

"He's a boy," Harry said simply and with a certain dismissal that spoke of certainty. "People are going to be become annoying once they find out I'm knocked up. Leaving for a bit won't be too bad, right?"

"You will have to face the Dark Lord eventually," Snape said, for the first time speaking.

"Eventually can be tomorrow or on my deathbed," Harry said. "I'd rather not think about it."

"Hm, a rather idiotic move," Severus pointed out.

"And as you keep reminding me, I'm an idiot," Harry said with a shrug. "Are we done now?"

Dumbledore gave a sigh. "Pomfrey will be your attending physician, unless you wish for someone else?"

"No," Harry said.

"And of course, Professor Snape will be providing any potion you will need."

"Of course."

"Also, as your due date will fall while you are still in school, the matter of where you will be living afterwards will be left for another time."

"I won't go back to the Dursleys."

"Harry-"

"I won't go back to the Dursleys," Harry repeated through clenched teeth. "Not with my son and seeing as I refuse to be parted from him, no Dursleys."

Dumbledore gave a sigh. "We will discuss this another time."

"And the answer will be the same," Harry said. "Can I go now?"

Dumbledore looked tired as he gave a small nod. "Yes, Harry."

Harry gave a small wave towards those inside the office before turning and leaving, Hermione and Ron trailing behind. Harry hoped they weren't expecting him to talk once they arrived at the dormitories. He only wanted to sleep, it seems the nap hadn't helped after all.

* * *

A week after the rather blasé (in the sense that no one was yelling or overly freaking out) meeting, Harry decided it was time to start on the essay McGonagall had assigned. He didn't bother asking Hermione for help. She was already helping Ron and no doubt he would have to suffer through an hour long lecture about the downside to procrastination if he did ask her for help.

He found the specific book with no help from Madam Pince (she never helped students) and with the intention of searching for an unoccupied table, he walked through the library.

Perhaps everyone else had waited until the last minute to do their own respective assignment as well for all the tables were taken. He gave a sigh, deciding that perhaps a corridor somewhere would be empty enough to allow him peace and quiet but then he noticed the lanky Slytherin in the corner.

A smile tugged his lips and without another thought, he walked over, only realizing what he was doing when he grabbed the back of the chair and pulled it from the table.

Theo looked up, his eyes slightly wide in surprise.

"I forgot," Harry said bluntly, his own eyes slightly wide in surprise. He gave a nervous laugh. "Can you believe that…? I'll just-"

"Sit," Theo said. "I insist."

Harry bit his lip, knowing that perhaps it was the worst idea possible but he truly did need to get started on his essay and he truly didn't want to sit in the cold corridors. In the end, he sat down.

"Congratulations," Theo said, ten minutes into the awkward silence.

"Excuse me?"

Theo's eyes flickered down Harry's chest. "I can sense it," he said. "I won't say anything though."

Harry's face paled and he nearly jumped out of his seat. "No one can know about this!" he hissed, his eyes glancing around to see if anyone was paying attention to their conversation. "At least not yet."

Theo raised an eyebrow. "Did I not just say I would keep my mouth shut?" He shook his head. "I already betrayed you once, I'm not so foolish as to betray you once again." They stared at each other, Theo's expression neutral but then he looked away. "I'm meeting Draco in a bit, I should go." Theo stood up, gathered his things and left, leaving Harry alone.

Harry didn't know what he should have said to Theo if he had stayed and as he sat alone, he couldn't help but contemplate over it.

* * *

She was a shivering mess, twitching and whimpering on the ground. She was a pathetic sight but he thrived because of it. The tension and anger that he had held close to his chest for over a month was finally leaving and he felt a smile tug his lips.

For a moment, he forgot about Harry, about his beautiful eyes and smile, about his laughter and how his heart warmed with the boy's presence. At the moment, he had no need for warmth or laughter. He needed his once heartless personality. He needed his vengeful self.

"But why!?" she cried out, sobbing as the curse finally lifted. She seemed insane, her hair dismantled and Voldemort made a disgusted noise, his lips curling in distaste.

"Did you honestly think your betrayal would not be punished?!"

"I did nothing, my lord!" she sobbed, "Nothing, nothing to displease you!"

"You think I wished for Harry Potter to be return to Dumbledore!?" He roared. "Did I not tell you to keep away from him?!"

"But I did!" She said. "I have! I have not seen him except by chance and during the brat's birthday," she said, still lying on the ground. "I have not touched him nor spoken to him! Have not bothered him, my Lord!"

"Really," he snarled, "and so I just imagined you taking him the morning after his birthday? I imagined you in my personal rooms with your filthy hands on him!?"

"I-I-" she shook her head, her expression showing her horror and confusion. "I do not know! I have- I do not know!"

Something in her words made him stall, his mind clearing. "Oh?" he said. "If it was not you, than whom, Bellatrix?"

"I- I don't know! I just know that I have not betrayed you, Master!"

He narrowed his eyes, contemplating killing her and being done with it but he decided against it. He entered her mind without hesitation. He was met with the same chaos he often came across when concerning Bellatrix's mind yet he sorted through, looking for a hint of lying or half-truths.

He rather enjoyed the mind of a person not shielded. It was much easier to tell what was truth or what was simply a dream or a lie crafted within the mind. Severus, along with Dumbledore were perhaps the only ones who…

And then, once again, anger shook him.

He turned from the woman still pleading, his countenance reflecting his anger and he let out a small hiss, rebuking himself for having missed it.

Severus betrayed him! He actually dared! Did he not care about the Malfoys? Did he actually think he, the Dark Lord, wouldn't realize his treachery?

"You are dismissed, Bellatrix," he whispered. "Get out of my sight before I change my mind."

She nearly hesitated, words at the tip of her tongue but something in the Dark Lord's demeanor tipped her off and she left before he could, as he said, change his mind.

He'll show the traitor, he mentally hissed. He'll make him regret ever even thinking of betraying him!

* * *

He had been in the middle of a class when the arm had begun to burn. He knew better than to hold until the end of class, however.

He dismissed them, ignoring their shocked expressions as he barked out the order for them to get out once more. He waited for the last student to leave, coincidentally Draco, before he rushed to his own rooms.

He was ready before long and he rushed outside the Hogwarts wards, making sure no one noticed him. He let the Mark tug at him, leading him to his destination. He was already in the large manor by the time he was tugging down his mask.

"My Lord," he said with a small bow as he entered the room. The Dark Lord was not in his throne and it was only a second later that Snape noticed Lucius a few steps away from Voldemort.

Something close to dread entered him and he knew something was wrong.

"Ah, Severus," Voldemort mumbled. "Glad to see you are here."

"May I inquire as to how I am needed?"

"Needed?" Voldemort echoed. "Oh no, you are not needed, Severus."

"Then why have I-"

"You've been summoned because I want you to witness Lucius take his last breath," Voldemort said idly, and with a flash, his wand was pointed towards Lucius's chest while his hand gripped Lucius's neck. The blonde stiffed but he did nothing more and Severus knew the only reason the Malfoy had not withdrawn his wand was because he was smart. The Dark Lord would have killed him without a hesitation if Lucius had dared to pull out his wand.

"I want you to witness his last moment, watch him and see the hatred as he knows he's dying because of you!"

"I-" Severus seemed at a loss of words. "I have done nothing that would-"

"You have done nothing!?" Voldemort snapped. "Do not lie to me, you sentimental fool! Do you think I would not know of your betrayal?"

"My betrayal?" Snape echoed, his voice laced with fake confusion while his heart thumped harshly against his ribcage and his mind raced for a way out of this-

"I know it was you who took Harry from me!" Voldemort snapped. "You took him from my rooms as if you were a thief!"

"I did no such thing!" Severus said, his words a rush. He glanced towards Lucius, perhaps trying to share a message with his lover or perhaps to reassure himself that the man was still alive.

Lucius showed little emotion, his jaw set in tense silence while his eyes showed some worry and anger. Severus nearly flinched.

"Oh? Then who? It certainly wasn't Bellatrix and you are at the top of my list of traitors," Voldemort spat. "So tell me, why should I trust you? Hm, Severus?"

"My Lord," Lucius called out, pulling Voldemort's attention as well as Severus's to him. "Severus would never betray you; he is faithful…it was I who-"

"Oh shut up!" Severus snapped as he pulled his mask away so as to glare at the Malfoy. "Your pathetic attempt at sacrificing yourself in the thought that you would be protecting me, while noble, is unnecessary," he said. "I am loyal, and I'll prove it."

"Oh really?" Voldemort said with a snort of malicious amusement. "And how do you plan to do that? I do not trust you and I'll believe anything you tell me, Severus."

"I have information that could prove…useful to you, my Lord," Severus said, all the while praying for forgiveness but he wouldn't die here, especially not when he was…

"It's information that came to light last week; it concerns Mr. Potter and Dumbledore wishes to keep it under wraps for as long as possible. He needs time to scheme, it seems."

"Hm," Voldemort mumbled, a look of perhaps interest in place. "Well, what is it?"

"Well…I am not sure as to how I should say this…" Severus mumbled, glancing down at the floor. He needed to bait the man…just a little-

"Out with it, Severus or I swear my next words will be the last thing Lucius's hears!"

"Mr. Potter is pregnant," Severus said, holding back a triumphant smirk. Sometimes, the man truly did like his temper rule him. "Congratulations, my Lord; it seems you have an heir on the way."

* * *

So, so, so, so SORRY for the late update! Hopefully, I'll be doing better now that my spring break is coming up in a week or so. Anyway, hope you guys like.

As you may have noticed, **this isn't betated**! I had actually picked a beta but then I forgot who I picked…-sheepish grin- and so once again, does anyone wish to be my beta? This time, I'll wait until I've finished the next chapter to pick the beta.


	15. Beige

**-Love and Forget: These Loving Memories-  
By: Concubine99**

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Harry Potter or its context.

**Warning(s):** Slash, Amnesia, **Sexual Context**, Angst, Mpreg, Language, Underage -Harry's sixteen-

**Main Paring: **Tom Riddle(Voldemort)/Harry Potter

**Side Pairings**: Sirius/Remus, Severus/Lucius, Draco/Blaise, Ron/Hermione,

**Summary: **Harry's memories are gone but he's gained an imaginary life with three friends who have their own drama and a lover- a Tom who's known by the world as the Dark Lord Voldemort.

**A/N**: _Please do read all the ending notes and the A/N's I put up. They may be long but a lot of the information is important!

* * *

_

**Chapter Thirteen  
**_Beige  
Like celebratory champagne, like a bittersweet reunion

* * *

_

Their breathing was the only thing that truly penetrated the air around them. The Dark Lord seemed shocked stiff, his face slack with his mouth opened enough that Severus could see his tongue and teeth. Lucius wore a look similar to the one he wore he received the news of Severus's…predicament.

Severus shifted his gaze back towards the Dark Lord. He didn't want to speak, didn't dare snap the dark wizard out of his surprise. He simply waited for the man to-

"So help me, Severus if you are lying…" Voldemort said softly, his shoulders releasing their tension. He swallowed. "Harry is with child?"

"Yes," Severus said. "It was confirmed not long ago."

"How…" Voldemort said, the word almost having trouble leaving him. "I gave him no potion and he-"

"Rare, but possible, my Lord," Severus interrupted. "It seems he is a natural bearer."

Voldemort gave a snort, his eyes flickering towards Severus's abdomen. "Are you sure you didn't accidentally spill the potion on him?" he raised an eyebrow. "It seems you have the habit if rumor is correct."

Severus nearly cringed, nearly. He could hear the accusation and mockery in the man's voice. Of course the man believed, just like many others, that he had done this on purpose. That he had taken the potion and seduced Lucius to his bed and…

"I assure you, my Lord, my hand did not _slip_ anywhere near him. He's a bearer, just like Celino…although perhaps more surprising. Bearers run in Celino's family. Not so much in the Potter's."

"There's never been a bearer in the Potter family," Lucius spoke, his voice gravelly. "England is not known for having many of them; the Black family has had the most recorded while my family have had a number of three bearers. This development is truly a…wonder."

The glare the Dark Lord sent him would have made a lesser man whimper. "How do I know you are not lying, Severus?"

"I am not," Severus said.

"Yes and if I believed in your word we wouldn't be in this situation," Voldemort said with a roll of his eyes. Severus gave a small sigh. "There is no proof that I can give you at this time, my Lord. Only my word that Potter is carrying your child."

Voldemort's eyes narrowed and Severus could see his fingers around his wand twitching. He pretended he didn't. "He plans to leave…" he added. "He thinks you will not care about him being pregnant. He's planning on leaving Hogwarts and England once the child is born."

"And Dumbledore is alright with this?"

"At the moment Dumbledore along with the rest of the Order are quite puzzled. They do not know how to proceed. They believe Harry is still…in love with you and at a delicate state. They walk on eggshells around him."

"Harry runs from me whenever I even dare to contact him," Voldemort snapped. "Do not mock me by saying he feels something other than hate-"

"I have seen the boy since his departure from here," Severus interrupted, letting his eyes shift to the ground in slight apology. "He has not been himself; he does not sleep well, he barely eats and he has yet to take the locket off. As much as he tries, he cannot distinguish his true life with his life with you…and he cannot help but remember his time here. Make no mistake, he still loves you."

Severus felt his heart twist as he watched the Dark Lord take in what he said. He knew he was condemning Harry to an eternity with the Dark Lord chasing after him, either it be because the dark wizard hated him…or wanted him and the child. Either way, he had only thrown fuel to the fire by declaring Harry's feelings, telling the Dark Lord that his original plans had worked. Harry truly was connected to him and undoubtedly would be for a long time, if not the rest of his life.

But he had to, he rationalized. He could not have Lucius killed and he would protect the life fluttering inside him. God forgive him if he had to betray Lily's child to do so.

The Dark Lord turned slightly from them, his arms crossing in front of him and his wand landing slightly against his arm. "And Harry is…fine?"

"Fine…sir?"

"Physically," Voldemort growled out. "How is he fairing physically?"

"Well, I suppose. Pomfrey is…cautious when concerning how the pregnancy will affect his heart."

"What?" Voldemort asked, his eyes narrowed as he turned to face Severus. "What is this about his heart?"

"The heartsings had a rather…negative effect on Potter's heart even with the _Moon Lilies_ present. He will recover, but at the moment, there is some worry that perhaps the pregnancy will strain his body and thus his heart."

Severus noticed the small twisting of the Dark Lord's mouth and for a second, a flicker of what looked like pain and regret crossed his features. "What are his chances?"

"Good," Severus said, trying to prevent his surprise from coloring his words. "Very good. He's quite the powerful wizard and there is no doubt he will be taken care of."

Voledmort seemed almost relieved at Severus's words. He gave a small sigh, for a moment looking tired before he straightened up and turned from them, making his way towards his throne-like chair. "You are dismissed," he said roughly, his voice thicker and heavier than usual. "But if I find one hint of untruth about this, Severus, you will regret it for I shall show no mercy. You'll be envious of the Longbottoms by the time I am through with you."

Perhaps it was a testimony of just how much he has changed. The older him would have never let them go with a simple threat. Harry had changed him.

Severus knew Lucius wanted to talk to him…or perhaps scold him, as if he were a child, was a better description. In either case, Severus didn't wish it. He simply wanted to go home, to take a long, hot shower and then sleep the upcoming weekend away.

"Don't you dare," Lucius nearly growled as he grabbed Severus by the arm as the Potions Master made to apparate. "We have much to discuss."

He didn't give him time to argue as he tapped a chain around Lucius's wrist and with a certain, awful feeling, they were pulled to another destination.

"Fuck," he swore, his body trembling as he pulled his arm from Lucius's hold and wrapped them around his stomach. "I hate that!" he hissed.

"It's better than apparating," Lucius said. "In your present condition apparating is a risk you needn't take more than once every so often."

Severus shook his head. "How can you bring me here?" he whispered. "I know you have no shame but I-"

"Have neither shame nor pride worth speaking of!" Narcissa's voice rang as she appeared in the large room, her rage palpable. "You dare bring this title-stealing whore into my home!?"

"Careful with your words, Narcissa," Lucius grumbled, "Before you lose your tongue!"

"Hah! I dare you, Lucius!"

"I am not staying here," Severus interrupted their argument, his scowl in place and directed towards Lucius. He turned, his destination the floo network, but Lucius grabbed his arm hard enough that Severus could feel the bruises forming.

"No!" he snapped before rounding on Narcissa. "This is my house and I will not have you order me in it, Narcissa! Severus and I have matters of great importance to discuss and I will-"

"Then take him to the mansion you bought for him," Narcissa said coolly, her lips twisted into a fierce expression. "Or better yet, to his hole of a house or to a motel worthy of the whore he is!"

"No matter how deserving you assume I am of your insults, Narcissa," Severus grumbled, "I won't simply stand here and take them." He turned towards Lucius. "Out of the three of us, this is not my house. Release me, Lucius, or the next words out of me will send you flying."

"Finally, the little mudblood knows his place!" Narcissa said with a mocking chuckle and a clap of her hands. Lucius glare didn't seem to faze her and Severus gave a sigh. "I'm-"

"Let's go to my chambers," Lucius said roughly, pulling Severus along, ignoring Narcissa's shout.

"Lucius!" Severus hissed. "Don't you get-"

"Only the manor is safe," Lucius stressed out. "And until we have spoken, I don't want to risk it."

Severus opened his mouth to protest but then, suddenly it hit him. He gave a small sigh. "I wasn't lying, Lucius."

"Hm."

"Lucius-"

"No," the blond stressed out as he practically flung the Potions Master into the room and closed the doors behind them both. "I have stood aside, looking the other way as you fluttered about, whispering in Dumbledore's ear," Lucius said as he grasped Severus's arms and flushed him against his own chest. "And despite my own beliefs, I was not about to betray you to the Dark Lord. The least I knew, the easier it was to keep it out of my mind but this- this Severus was truly!-"

"Will you stop manhandling me?!" Severus snapped as he pushed the blond away from him and made his way across the room, allowing the distance between them to protect him Lucius's influence.

"You nearly got yourself killed today! I was nearly killed!"

"I'm sorry the Dark Lord doesn't quite believe in giving his follower's the benefit of the doubt!"

"You think me so stupid, Severus?" Lucius whispered, his eyes narrowed. "No one else would have taken the boy; no one else had reason to. You did and no doubt your time with me by orders from the Dark Lord did nothing but cement your belief that you needed to separate the two! Did you even think about the consequences!?"

"You say you always kept out of these affairs of mine and yet, here you are, trying to have me plead guilty?"

"I know you are guilty!"

"You know nothing," Severus snapped, his scowl in place. "You merely assume and there is an old saying concerning assuming."

"Severus…"

"It does not matter," Severus whispered. "There is no proof of my involvement and the information I have given will prove my loyalty."

There was silence for a moment and it was then that Severus remembered what he had done just a few hours ago. Guilt nearly overwhelmed him.

"So it is true? The Potter is with child?" Lucius asked and Severus winced.

"Yes," Severus said. "An heir for the Dark Lord."

Lucius let out a small sigh. "You are playing a dangerous game, Severus," Lucius whispered as he walked calmly towards the stern brunette. "And at your present condition-"

"My present condition has little to do with you and mostly my concern."

"Oh? Last time I recall, you needed my assistance to be in your present condition!" Lucius said with a raised eyebrow. "Or was I not the donor?"

"Are you starting to think along the lines of your wife?" Severus asked. He knew his cold countenance was falling and so he turned slightly away and moved towards the window, pretending that something outside had caught his interest.

"No," Lucius said. "You are my firefly, after all."

"Don't call me that."

Arms wrapped around him and Severus nearly flinched. "I am sorry," Lucius said. "This must be hard on you…and I have done nothing to ease your pain. I have most likely added."

"I do not blame you," Severus said. "If I had not been so careless…" he gave a small sigh. "Narcissa thinks I have done this on purpose to secure a place in your bed. No doubt the thought is shared with many others."

"I am a Malfoy-"

"You were furious when you found out because you were a Malfoy," Severus reminded. "You were angry because you had just learned you were about to have a bastard child with your dirty little secret."

"Severus-"

"Not that I blame you. It is one thing for our friends to _assume_ and _think_ they know of your relations but it is whole matter when the proof grows within me. I, of course, could just say it is not-"

"I will not deny any child of mine. We have discussed this already," Lucius said as he turned Severus so the brunette was facing him. "I know my first reaction was not the best…but your approach in telling me was not exactly the best either. You were always too blunt for your own good."

Severus gave a small shrug. "Feelings are rarely spared simply because one stalls."

Lucius gave that small smile that made him look too handsome and Severus looked away, knowing Lucius could get him to agree to anything with such a smile. He walked towards the bed, deciding he needed to sit down. He let out a sigh the moment he sat upon the mattress, his hands resting on the bed at his sides and his eyes closing in fatigue.

The sudden pressure against his stomach startled him and he looked down, surprised to see Lucius's face against the stomach, kneeling. "And they say I am sentimental," Severus grumbled. "Get up from the floor, Lucius. What would others say if they saw the proud Malfoy on his knees?"

"They would see me worshiping my love and they would have little to say about it," Lucius whispered as he kissed his stomach. "I am allowed a bit of sentimentality when it concerns my second child, no?"

Severus couldn't really look away from Lucius's form and for a moment, he allowed himself to think this could be his. Realistically, it couldn't, and he knew it. Perhaps if he was as ambitious as many purebloods were with regard to social standing or perhaps if he was malicious enough to strike down those in his way, but he wasn't. This life was not his and no matter what Lucius liked to pretend, Severus could never accept it.

Perhaps when they were still children, young and naïve, he would have allowed it. But now, they were aged and were at different roads in life. He wasn't about to steal Narcissa's position, no matter what the witch thought. He had not gotten pregnant as a means to do so. In fact, he hadn't even meant to get pregnant.

A rather foolish and such ridiculous notion that he wasn't surprised others didn't believe him. Lucius…Lucius wanted to do good by him, no doubt. Finance Severus and their child but the thought had never settled well with Severus and it didn't now that he was with child.

His child would be brought up a bastard with the Wizarding World knowing well enough his or her parentage and making jabs at the child because of it. He wouldn't have his child grow up as he had, being taunted for something out of his own control.

"You're such a fool, Lucius," Severus whispered as his fingers ran through the sun-kissed hair. "Wanting to try and do good by me? Make me an honest man? It's a little too late for that and I'm not about to fight for Narcissa's ring nor am I going to be the kept mistress with the bastard child," Severus said with a sigh. "We've had this discussion already. The only reason I told you about this is because I believe you have the right to know you will have a second child soon, not to receive your charity."

"The fact that I want to take care of you and our child is not charity, Severus," Lucius said through barely pursed lips. "It's me loving and providing for my family! Our child will be just as important to me as Draco."

Severus gave a small laugh. "No, he won't," Severus said. "Draco is your legitimate heir while our child- _my_ child will be the bastard child that will soil your name," Severus shook his head. "I'm tired of having to defend myself against Narcissa's insults, the rest of the Wizarding World's jeers. You are worth everything to me but…" Severus shook his head. "If it was only me…we're been through this already, Lucius. Something's going to change and seeing as your relationship with Narcissa cannot, ours will have to."

For the longest time, there was no noise but then Lucius stood up and walked towards the door with calm shoulders and casual steps. He grabbed the knob and pulled the door open before turning towards Severus in time to see the man standing.

"You seem to think I am unwilling to do everything to keep you by my side," Lucius said softly. "You are wrong in that department. There is very little I would not do for you, Severus…and for our child."

He left the door open for Severus to leave at his own discretion but he was gone, leaving the Potions Master alone in the large chambers.

* * *

Harry couldn't help but stare. In retrospect, it shouldn't be nearly as surprising as it seemed to be. Harry had imagined for the longest time that they would end up together but actually seeing them…_kissing_, it was surprising.

He cleared his throat and it was like they suddenly were allergic to each other. They sprung from each other, their expression causing a small snicker to leave Harry. "We're late for Charms, else I'd leave the two of you to…yeah," he said with a wave of his hand in front of him.

"Harry…this- uh, we were- I mean-"

"I think he knows what we were doing, Ron," Hermione said with a roll of her eyes.

"Yeah, it'd be kind of sad if I was pregnant but didn't know what a kiss looked like," Harry mumbled as he ran his hand through his hair. "So…we going or what?"

"Yes, let's go."

"But uh…don't you…I mean-"

"Am I curious to know how long you two have been exchanging saliva?" Harry offered with a small smirk. "I'm beyond curious but I assumed you were going to tell me soon enough and I wasn't kidding. We really are late for Charms. Thanks for waking me up, by the way." He gave Ron a mocking glare.

Ron gave a sheepish grin. "Sorry mate, I was-"

Whatever Ron said was lost to Harry for suddenly, his head exploded in pain. He let out an ear-splitting scream that echoed through the corridor as he fell to knees and then towards the floor.

His scream was the last thing he heard before everything went dark and he was pulled far away. He tried to struggle but something was wrapping itself around him, tightening its grip and nearly suffocating him. Everything was dark and the only sound was a noise similar to rushing wind but then it was as if he hit something concrete, and everything was silent.

He could breathe once more and as he took in the gulps of air, he realized he knew what had happened. Tom had pulled him through their link.

He struggled, tried to flee back into his own mind but something had a hold on him. Tom had yet to contact him while Harry was awake, the older wizard preferring to do so when Harry was asleep and at a less…resisting state.

"No," a voice cut through. "This time, I will not allow you to leave."

Harry turned, half afraid to face the man and too stubborn to keep his back to him. "You," he said. "Can't you take a hint?" Harry spat. "I don't want to talk to you!"

"I don't care," Tom said. "Every time I visit you, I allow you to escape, thinking you need more time, thinking you will eventually allow me to speak. Not this time, kitten."

The hands that cupped his cheek and grabbed his neck were gentle but firm and locked him in place. "I've missed you, kitten. Very much so."

"Shut up," Harry whispered. "You won't lie to me again."

"For once, I'm not lying," Tom said with a twisting smile. "If I wanted to keep you deceived, I would have never told you the truth."

"Another one of your games, no doubt," Harry mumbled, "I don't want to hear anything you-"

"But you will," Tom stressed. "You love me."

"No."

"Yes," Tom whispered. "You do. Just as I love you." He kissed a cheek, ignoring how the younger wizard flinched. "No matter what, you know your feelings for me have not changed."

"You're right, I still hate you!" Harry hissed as he pushed at the chest. "I want you dead and you are so lucky I don't have my wand with me or else-"

"I'm going to kiss you," Tom said with a simple, amused smile. "And you will no doubt hit me but I will continue to kiss you until you no longer resist me."

"You fucking-" and Tom did just as he said, his lips landing firmly against Harry's. For a moment, Harry forgot his anger as he opened his mouth under Tom's. Yet it lasted for only a moment before he pushed him away and punched him against the jaw.

"I know you well," Tom remarked and as Harry made to turn, perhaps to run away from the older wizard, Tom grabbed him by the arm and maneuvered him back against his chest. "No, no, no. We're not finished here. We still have much to discuss, my angel."

"Stop calling me that! I'm not _your_ anything!"

"You are my everything," Tom corrected. "My pride barely exists because of you and you hold my wrinkled heart in your hands. You may not believe me, but I know you still love me. Despite everything, you still love me."

In truth, he was, more than anything, _**hoping**_ that Harry still loved him. But Harry didn't need to know that little detail.

Harry struggled against him, trying to tug his arm out of Tom's grip and that was when Tom saw the necklace. It seemed to wink at him and for a moment, his heart stopped.

He suddenly smirked, realizing that Severus had been right. That Harry still hadn't taken off the locket. He released one of Harry's arms long enough to pull out the necklace, ignoring Harry's soft gasp and protests. "You still have this around your neck, lovely?"

"I-I"

"You still love me."

"No."

"You do, or else you would have thrown this into the lake with the Giant Squid," Tom said. "This is important to me," he admitted as he played with it. "It's a Slytherin heirloom and for me to give it to you…I had my doubts but then I saw it on you and I-" he gave a small grin. "I knew there was nowhere else it could belong more."

"You stand there trying to soften me up by telling me pretty little-"

"I'm just telling you the truth," Tom said softly before he leaned and kissed the side of Harry's head, his lower lip grazing the tip of Harry's ear. "When we made love…I…" Tom stalled and Harry felt his body shake, the memories surfacing like a tidal wave and he wanted to pull away but couldn't. "I really wanted to keep thinking that I was detached, that you were just my tool but I-" he gave a small laugh. "I couldn't continue thinking that. Not after that night and it was so simple to just think that we would continue to live together and that the only thing changing would be my feelings. But then you were taken from me and then you asked me for the truth…I don't know. I couldn't lie to you. I knew you would be angry and I would lose you but I…"

"Tom…" Harry whispered, uncertain and with a hint of hurt and wonder.

"I love you," Tom admitted. "I've never loved anyone before you and I will never love anyone else like I love you. That is the truth. I doubt you will forgive me but I…I do not want to let you go."

Tom pulled away to see Harry's expression, see the way his eyes glistened and he smiled, knowing that Harry was starting to believe him. "If I kiss you, will you allow me?"

"No," Harry said.

"I'll take that risk," Voldemort said softly as he leaned and kissed him. It was tender and chaste and Harry made no protest. "I hate you," Harry whispered as Tom pulled away. "Do you expect me to ignore all that you've done? All that-"

"No," he said. "Not forget…just…forgive," Tom gave a sardonic grin. "I am the one who does not know the meaning of forgiving and other mercies, Harry."

"You're asking me to forgive a lot," Harry pointed out.

"But you will," Tom said with confidence in his voice that he didn't quite feel.

"Oh? And why is that?" Harry asked.

Tom gave a small, secretive smile and then his hand was on Harry's belly. "Is there something I should know, Harry?"

The expression on Harry's face was answer enough. It showed his shock and his fear. "No…I-"

"We're going to have a child," Tom said softly without a hint of question or hesitation.

"How could you-"

Tom let out a small growl, his hold tightening around Harry as their surroundings seemed to change. Harry could feel something tugging at him, trying to pull him away and Tom refusing to give. "No! He is mine! My-"

It was like being pulled out of water after nearly drowning. Air didn't quite reach his lungs fast enough as he gulped it down and it was a second later that he felt his stomach twist and knot. He barely had enough time to twist to his left before his stomach was dumped onto the floor, his hold on the bed holding him steady.

He was suddenly so tired and he let himself fall right back onto the bed, the smell of bile near his nose. If he had any strength, he would try to wipe away the evidence of his ill stomach near his mouth.

He heard someone say a spell and then another one and he no longer smelled the bile nor did he feel the moisture near his mouth.

Someone laid a hand on his shoulder and he opened his eyes –when did he close them?- and caught sight of Dumbledore. "Harry, Harry, are you alright?"

"Dumbledore?"

"Yes, yes, my boy, it's me," he said softly and with gentle eyes. Harry almost felt guilty knowing he had begun to enjoy his time with Tom. "What did he do to you, my child?"

"Nothing," Harry said softly before closing his eyes. "He just wanted to talk. He was tired of me ignoring him. He just…he just wanted me to listen…"

"Harry, Harry!"

He opened his eyes and glanced around. There were more people, Hermione and Ron at a corner, looking worried while Dumbledore still stood near the bed he was resting on.

"How's your head?"

"It doesn't hurt anymore," Harry responded, his words slightly slurred. "It hurt like hell. Hope he doesn't do that again…" He closed his eyes while his hands shifted and fell on his stomach. "Baby ok?" he asked.

"He's fine, Mr. Potter."

"'K…I'm going to sleep now…" Harry mumbled.

"Harry! Harry, wait, before you do so, take this, take this potion, it will stop the dreaming-"

"No…" Harry said. "I gotta tell him…gotta tell him somethin' important. Gotta tell that fuckin' bastard somethin' important."

He was dead to the rest of the world.

* * *

"Harry…"

"Harry…"

"Harry…"

"Stop calling, I'm here," Harry said with an annoyed frown. "I threw up because of you." He grasped Tom's neck. "Next time you want to talk to me, how about you do it in person?"

"I'm sorry," Tom whispered. "The link can be volatile and I was rather…emotional when I pulled you through."

"You gave me a fucking migraine," Harry said with a glare. "That I conveniently forgot when we started talking but now…" he glared as he gave Tom a push. "You're an ass."

"Perhaps true, but that is not important."

"Oh?" Harry said, with more confidence than he truly felt. "You're lucky I was tired and I managed to fall back asleep so quickly, else I wouldn't have-"

"You want to talk to me just as much as I want to talk to you," Tom said with a smirk. "And we have much to discuss."

"No, we do not," Harry said. "I came back simply to tell you that it doesn't matter what you want, nor will my feelings interfere with this-" he swallowed. "I don't want anything to do with you."

Tom made his way towards the wizard. "Harry-"

"Everyone expects me to pick either my true life or the life I had with you," Harry said as he took a step back. "How the hell can I do that when both are important to me and yet so hard to live in? You killed my parents Tom, you've killed more people then I would care to know and you…you may love me but your views…I don't agree with them. I just don't."

"Then don't agree," Tom stressed. "And do not make it seem as if I am the sole murderer. I can assure you that Dumbledore has killed quite a few people in his day. It's war, and death is bound to happen."

"I want nothing to do with your plans."

"Then don't have anything to do with your plans," Tom snapped. "I don't want you whispering in my ear the Order's plans, I have spies for that, nor do I need you to fight my battles. All I want is you, with me. That's all."

"Along with the Wizarding World at your feet."

Tom gave a snort. "They'd be better there then where they are in their present condition."

Harry gave a scoff. "You're unbelievable!"

Tom grabbed him, crushed their bodies together, ignoring how Harry fought and pushed at him. "Let go!"

"No," Tom mumbled as he kissed his neck, ignoring how Harry jerked away and hit his shoulders. "You think too much, my angel."

"Will you stop that?!" Harry snapped as Tom continued to kiss and hold him. "You- you aren't going to make me change my mind!"

"So you say," Tom whispered against Harry's skin. He could feel the younger wizard shiver and he smiled, taking in the smell of his skin and hair. "But it's obvious we belong together, especially with our child on the way."

Harry stilled and Tom took it as a good sign, his kisses falling on Harry's face. "We will-"

There was a shove and suddenly, Harry was no longer in his arms. "This is my child," Harry said, his face wide with emotion and eyes seemingly moistened. "Not yours. He's going to be my baby boy and he'll be nothing like you!"

"No," Tom growled as he grabbed Harry's roughly by the arms. "I refuse! Do you hear me, Harry? That is my child, my heir, and no one will keep me from him or from you!"

"You're mad!"

"Yes!" Tom admitted. "And God help anyone who tries to take you from me, tries to hurt our child or destroy my plans! You are mine and I never let go of what is mine. Forget my past transactions, Harry…please. Do you not know how much you mean to me?"

"No, and I don't care," Harry said and even to him, it sounded like an outright lie. Tom grinned, perhaps finding the fact that Harry was resisting enduring. "I want you back at my side," Tom whispered. "I promise I won't ask of you anything you are unwilling to give," he gave a sultry smile. "For I know what I _truly_ want, you will gladly give, have already given."

"Pervert," Harry said. "Horrible, disgusting-"

"Is this your way of saying you missed me as well? And that you forgive me?"

Harry was silent for a moment, his eyes staring back into Tom's and his mouth pursed as if he was keeping something inside with all his might. Finally, his features seemed to soften and as he brought his hand up and caressed Tom's cheek, his mouth parted. "Are you lying to me?"

Tom licked his lips. "Since the moment I pulled you here, I have not lied to you…about anything."

"Ok," Harry whispered softly. He gave a small sob, his eyes watering. "I've missed you," he admitted as he dug his face into Tom's chest. "You're an evil son of a bitch but I can't…I haven't stopped loving you, Tom. Can't even see you as Voldemort and it's-"

"Then don't see me as such," Tom whispered as he pulled Harry slightly forward, his hands cupping Harry's face while his thumbs flicked away the tears that were starting to spill. "I love you, as Tom…not as the Dark Lord the Wizarding World knows."

And Harry gave another sob. He wanted for a moment to be able to say no to Tom, to truly be able to turn his back on the man, but he knew he couldn't. If the man truly wanted him, truly loved him, Harry couldn't throw that away. Not even with all his memories present.

Tom kissed him tenderly on the lips before placing one on his forehead and then one on each cheek. "Only you, my sweet little treasure," Tom promised. He gave Harry a small smile that seemed to lighten his face and made his crimson eyes seem gentle. They didn't seem to belong to a snake despite its vertical pupils and Harry gave a sigh, realizing that the look had just blown all doubt out of his mind.

Tom kissed him once more before kneeling in front of him. "What are you doing?" Harry asked, a small laugh that sounded somewhat like a sob leaving him.

"I have yet to be introduced to my child," Tom said smoothly, his hands resting upon Harry's hip. He eyed Harry's covered stomach with a foreign look of perhaps wonder and caution. "Hello," he said simply and with such a straight face that Harry had to laugh.

"What?"

"You look ridiculous," Harry told him with a smirk.

Tom frowned. "Your mommy is a mean one," Tom whispered against the belly. "Hopefully you will protect me from his more dangerous moods…"

"He can't understand you," Harry said with a small 'tsk'. "Besides, he'll always side with me."

"Oh, and how do you know this?"

Harry just gave a simple shrug but he seemed almost happy and Tom couldn't help but smile before leaning and kissing the area his child was growing. "You have given me quite a gift, Harry."

"Yeah?" Harry asked softly.

"Yes," Tom whispered as he once more looked up towards the younger wizard. "You have given me a family."

* * *

"Perfect," Voldemort mumbled as he woke up, swearing he could still taste Harry on his lips. "Absolute perfection."

Seeing Harry had motivated him and with a chuckle, he could not quite contain his sudden need to further his plans. He had the ring, he knew Dumbledore had the wand, now who had the cloak?

As he made his way towards the library, he remembered the painter. He had tasked the house-elves to deal with him since Harry's departure but now he realized he did not know what had become of the man. As he entered the room, he could not help but admire the paintings that seemed to have overtaken the room.

"Ah, my Lord. You grace me with your presence," the painter said with a simple smile. "What can I do for you?"

"What else could you possibly do for me besides paint, painter?" Voldemort asked with a shallow smirk. "What are your other abilities that you once mentioned?"

"I am good at finding objects desired," The painter admitted.

"For example," he said as he turned towards an unfinished painting and grabbed a brush he seemed to have put down for a moment. "Your cloak…"

"My cloak?"

"Yes," the painter said with a quick chuckle as he continued the painting. "Where you not looking for a cloak?"

"And how would you know such a thing?"

"I am also good at knowing what a person seeks specifically," he said. "A person's wants is clearly painted upon them."

"Really?"

"Yes," the painter said. "Everything about the person is painted upon them," the painter looked over his shoulders. "You are happy, congratulations. No doubt it has something to do with your young love."

"Perhaps," Tom said simply. "Tell me about the cloak. Where can I find it?"

"I will need a token for such information," the painter said as he turned fully to face the Dark Lord. He gave an impish smile. "Apologizes."

"Token? How about your life?" Voldemort asked with narrowed eyes and his wand out.

The painter laughed. "No, no. My token will be your honesty in every regard and your blessing to do with it as I see fit."

"So you can spy and whisper into my enemies ear?"

"Oh no, forgive me, my Lord," the painter said with a frown. "It is only normal that with your honesty, you gain my loyalty."

"Ah…really? And why is that?" Voldemort said with a sardonic roll of his eyes.

"Simple. I will one day gain something by staying loyal." He gave a small nod. "So do I have my token, my lord?"

Voldemort raised his wand and pointed towards the painter. It didn't seem to faze the other man who simply continued to stare back at the Dark Lord.

"You have your token," Voldemort said as he lowered his wand. "Now where is the cloak?"

* * *

There! Oh are things getting intriguing! Until next time, things are starting to come to a close! I know I said I would pick a beta, but I'm quite rushing right now to finish the next chapter for Twilight's Bloom so I can update within this week. So, for now, this chapter is _**UNBETAED **_and I'm not sure if I'll pick a beta any time soon. -sigh-However, i will keep in mind those who offered and perhaps once I have more time, I could talk to one of them and see if they'd like to go over the chapters posted and do any corrections needed.

I only went over this chapter once so if you guys see a really bad mistake, just let me know!


	16. Lilac

**-Love and Forget: These Loving Memories-  
By: Concubine99**

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Harry Potter or its context.

**Warning(s):** Slash, Amnesia, **Sexual Context**, Angst, Mpreg, Language, Underage -Harry's sixteen-

**Main Paring: **Tom Riddle(Voldemort)/Harry Potter

**Side Pairings**: Sirius/Remus, Severus/Lucius, Draco/Blaise, Ron/Hermione,

**Summary: **Harry's memories are gone but he's gained an imaginary life with three friends who have their own drama and a lover- a Tom who's known by the world as the Dark Lord Voldemort.

**A/N**: _Please do read all the ending notes and the A/N's I put up. They may be long but a lot of the information is important!

* * *

_

**Chapter Fourteen  
**_Lilac  
Like a final acceptance, like itching anticipation

* * *

_

To think, it had been within his grasp this whole time, had been used to hide his enemy- well his ex-enemy from his view. He shook his head, trying to dispel the thoughts that kept circling his head and failing.

He would have to work this carefully, he mused as he reached his bedroom. He could not have Harry thinking he was only interested in him because of the Cloak. He had to find a way to…maneuver out of such a disaster.

He was on thin ice with Harry as it was. It would not take much at this point to discourage Harry from believing him. He wouldn't lose Harry, not to misunderstandings and insecurities, to _nothing_ at all. He sat on his bed for only a minute before he was standing once more, already knowing what he was going to do and he would do it before he could change his mind or think up another plan that would merely create insecurities.

* * *

Harry's stay in the Infirmary would have been better if he didn't feel like he was betraying those around him. Many of his friends had stopped by so many times, he barely received an hour of alone time during the weekend. Pomfrey seemed stuck between wanting to condemn all who came to visit Harry and allowing their time with the Boy-Who-Lived.

Harry could barely look Dumbledore in the eyes whenever the man came inquiring about how he felt. He had a sinking feeling that the older wizard knew something had happened in his dream- that his feelings had changed…or more precisely, he simply stopped fighting them.

It was only when he was outside the world of dreams that doubt and guilt would almost make him change his mind but then he would fall asleep and Tom's arms would wrap around him and his doubts would crumble until all he could do was hold onto Tom desperately, kissing him and allowing those hands to mark his body, to caress his no longer quite so flat stomach and mumble sweet words in his ear.

He tried talking to Hermione about it, but the words always became stuck in his throat and he found himself always changing his mind the last minute.

He had been released from the Infirmary a week later (Pomfrey was just a bit overprotective) and Harry had yet to truly find a way to dissolve his conflicting emotions.

He started interacting with Theo again. Nothing extreme and their meetings rarely lasted longer than a few hours but Harry could always see the same Theo he had saw as his friend during these sessions of theirs. Blaise seemed a bit more approachable now although Harry couldn't quite understand why the tall wizard had decided to attempt to gain Harry's favor.

Perhaps it was because of Draco.

Harry frowned, remembering seeing Draco a few days ago looking a bit too pale. Blaise and Draco had yet to sit next to each other during meals and from what Theo said, Draco was fighting with his father and ignoring Blaise. He was not in the best of places at the moment.

Harry wanted to pretend he didn't care but he did and it was two weeks after his release from the Infirmary that Harry finally summoned up the courage to talk to Draco.

It was not too hard to find Draco, especially with Theo providing the exact location in the library Draco had taken to studying in. Harry walked towards him, only realizing when he grabbed the chair across from him and pulled it back that Draco hadn't noticed his arrival.

"That book sure much be interesting," he commented, sitting down and trying to find a comfortable position under Draco's stare.

"What do you want?" Draco asked, looking almost annoyed but his voice was calm even inviting.

"You want me to leave?"

"I didn't say that."

"No, you didn't," Harry admitted. "But if you want, I will."

"You know I don't," Draco admitted, suddenly looking almost uncomfortable. "But I don't want you to strain yourself. You're not terribly pleased with me."

Harry shrugged, his hands falling onto his stomach as he leaned against the back of the chair even more. "I'm not terribly mad at you though," Harry admitted. "Theo and I have been talking lately. He's a real smart bloke."

"Yeah, he is," Draco said. "It's bloody annoying."

Harry gave a small laugh. "It is, isn't it?"

Draco seemed less tense, his fingers pushing back the books so as to make room for his forearms. "Is there something you want specifically?"

"How are things with Blaise?"

Draco seemed almost hesitant to speak. "Why?"

Harry shrugged, glancing around him before his eyes landed on Draco once more. "I was wondering if you've accepted yet."

"You make it seem like I will."

"You will…eventually."

"Oh, really? Are you a Seer now?"

"Well, unless you were completely lying to me during…" Harry waved his arm and Draco knew Harry would not indicate the time spent as Tom's lover out loud. "I'd like to think I know you well enough. You love him."

"My father would-"

"Didn't you hear me last time?" Harry said, his eyes narrowed in annoyance. "He's got no right or reason to refuse if you really want it. Blaise is a good bloke…usually anyway, and he loves you. What else could your father want from a future in-law?"

Draco seemed almost shocked into silence. "Blaise put you up to this, didn't he?"

"No," Harry said. "I'm just tired of seeing you mope around, looking as if someone drowned your puppy."

Draco glared. "You have no right to talk about my romantic life as if you know it so well! You- you're infuriating!"

"Thank you," Harry said simply, looking smug. "Did I hit a nerve?"

A scowl twisted Draco's countenance and Harry could feel the blonde's mood worsen. He gave a small sigh. "Can I tell you something…just between us?"

Draco's surprise quickly replaced his annoyance. "What?"

"I- I'm still seeing Tom."

"Excuse me," Draco said. "Did you just say something about you and the Dark Lord getting it on?"

"I did not say that!" Harry said, glaring. "Just…that we're still seeing each other."

"How?" Draco whispered, looking around as if to confirm that there was no one near their table. "He can't possibly enter the school and you...are you leaving the school during the night?"

"No. we share a link, mentally, I mean. He visits my dreams."

"How do you know they're not just dreams?" Draco asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Same way you can differentiate between a dream and reality. I just do."

"Why?" Draco asked after a moment, looking so lost and confused. "You- he's your enemy. He's supposed to be at least. I would think with your memories back…"

"I love him," Harry said softly. "I can't just erase those feelings. And I guess my capacity to forgive is little above normal. He loves me too, how can I just…ignore that?"

"Are you sure?" Draco said, looking almost concerned. "He's a Dark Lord for a reason. He could just be playing or trying to use-"

"Why Draco, is that concern I hear for little old me?" Harry asked, his lips twitching into a small smirk. "Don't worry, Tom's on a short leash with me at the moment. But I know he loves me…I do."

"Well, if you're sure," Draco said. "Good luck to you then. What do you plan to do, though? I can't see you following his examples or beliefs."

"Tom knows better than to expect me to support any of his ambitious plans," Harry said softly. "We have a…deal of sorts. But I still don't know what I'm going to do, really. The Wizarding World wants me to fight him but how can I?"

Draco gave a small sigh. "You sure know how to complicate your life, Harry." He shook his head. "Well, best of luck to you." He glanced around. "Can I ask you something?"

"Sure."

"Are you pregnant?" Draco blurted out, his gaze shifting down Harry's torso, the table blocking his gaze from landing directly on Harry's stomach.

"Wha- how…?"

Draco gave a small shrug, his countenance almost sheepish. "I- uh…might have heard you speaking with Weasley that _might_ have led to this conclusion of mine."

"You were eavesdropping," Harry concluded, his tongue clicked against the roof of his mouth. "How very un-Malfoy of you."

"Just answer the question, Harry."

"I am," Harry said after a moment of silence. He gave a weak shrug. "I- we're keeping it a secret- mostly, anyway."

"Well it's not as if I'm going to the newspaper after this."

Harry gave a small nod, looking thoughtful. He stood up. "I should get going…things to do…" he hesitated for a second. "You really should stop complicating your life, Draco. Accept the proposal."

Draco opened his mouth but Harry already had his back to him, making his way towards the exit he had come from. Draco watched him go, feeling a sudden surge of resolve hit him. Harry should be a motivation speaker, he muttered sardonically to himself.

When he turned his gaze towards his work, it took him barely a minute before he realized he would not be able to concentrate on anything. He slammed his book closed, gathered his things, some being thrown into his bag without a care, before leaving the library.

He managed to reach the dungeon without any real disturbance before he came to a halt just as he made the needed left turn. Blaise stood in front of him, looking for the most part, as if he had been waiting for Draco to turn the corner and arrive the whole day and not the least bit impatient because of it.

"Aren't you going to do an impressive disappearance act?" Blaise asked, crossing his arms in front of him.

"Watch it," Draco said. "It may not look it, but this bag is heavy and one swing from me and…" Draco's words died on his lips as Blaise advanced towards him but the blonde didn't move away nor did he try stop the taller boy when he raised his hand towards Draco's cheek.

"I've missed you," Blaise said. "If I had known you would ignore me instead of simply reject me…" Blaise frowned. "No, actually, I still would have proposed."

"As if you would do anything you'd regret."

"You know me so well," Blaise said. He was silent for a second. "Did Harry talk to you?"

"Why do you ask?"

Blaise shrug. "If he has, maybe you've softened to the idea of being my spouse," he grinned. "And if so, I'd ask you again for your hand in marriage."

Draco stared at him drolly. "You're like a dog with a bone."

Blaise sighed, his hand falling from where they cupped Draco's cheek. His expression didn't change much, only a slight twitch of his jaw that gave away his disappointment. "If not your hand then still your friendship, hm?"

Blaise wasn't looking at him anymore, his gaze on the wall towards his right, his hands pushed into his pockets almost roughly. Draco wondered if Blaise was having a bad week. His usual composure was gone, replaced by someone who was barely keeping their expression from their face.

It was an unsettling sight with someone like Blaise who kept a better façade than even Draco's father. "Are you hungry? I noticed you missed lunch."

Draco just continued to stare, not bothering to answer until Blaise bothered to face him. Blaise did after a few seconds. "We could go to the kitchens if you wish."

"Blaise," Draco said, tasting the name on his tongue as if it was the first time they were introduced. "Blaise…"

"Hm?" he mumbled, looking slightly confused but amused enough that Draco wasn't too worried about annoying the other Slytherin. "How do you expect me to…" Draco shook his head, looking suddenly uncomfortable.

"Care to finish the sentence?"

"How do you expect me to accept when you propose without any amount of class or creativity?"

"With the same level of simplicity and creativity," Blaise replied curtly, but resembled the same Blaise Draco knew inside and out. He gave the blonde a small smirk. "Or is that a little beneath you?"

"Very beneath me," Draco replied, playing with the strap of his bag. He swallowed the words that wanted to crawl out of his mouth.

"We should get to the kitchens," Blaise said.

"Yeah…"

Blaise nearly walked passed him before Draco knocked away his hesitation. "Wait!" he said, his voice coming out loader than he intended.

Blaise turned around, staring at him in surprise. Draco could feel his throat constricting, his brain starting to protest but his heart gave a rough tug at the possibility of not getting what it wanted. "Despite everything, I'm high maintenance," he whispered. "You'll probably grow grey very early dealing with me as a spouse."

"I've been dealing with you since we were children, Draco," Blaise said. "And I have yet to sprout a grey hair."

"And you'll never be rid of my father."

"He'll come to love me I'm sure," Blaise replied, turning so that he was facing Draco fully. He gave a sudden smile. "Is this a…yes?"

Draco looked away, a small scowl in place. "Does it sound like a no, to you?"

Blaise laughed and suddenly, Draco was in his arms, barely able to breathe but wishing for Blaise to never let go. "I'm not one for sap and I know nether are you…and so I'll say this once. You've just made me the happiest man in this world."

Draco wanted to say _"Me too. I love you. I've wanted this and I'm sorry I couldn't accept it earlier…but I love you and I'm the happiest man alongside you."_

But the words failed him. Instead, he wrapped his arms around Blaise, hugging him just a tightly, just as suffocating but neither pulled back, the burning from the lack of air not nearly as great as the warmth that was spreading from their hearts.

* * *

"Draco you cannot be-"

"I'm not changing my mind, father!"

Lucius looked taken aback by Draco's display of stubbornness.

"Draco, do not speak to your father that way," Narcissa said, looking stern but still more understanding than her husband.

"You are not marrying that- that-"

"I've accepted his proposal!" Draco said in a rush, "So there."

"You cannot be serious!" Lucius nearly growled out. "I will not accept this, Draco. I do not give you permission, do you hear me?"

"What do you think, Uncle Severus?" Draco said, turning to face the Potions Master.

Severus sighed, rubbing his temples and trying to will the sudden headache away. He had been more than a little surprised when Draco had came to his door after curfew, stating very curtly that he had accepted Blaise's proposal and thus needed to speak to his father as soon as possible and if Severus could perhaps stay present while he tried to convince his parents to accept his decision, it'd gladly be greatly appreciated.

Severus had stood shocked still at his doorframe, his mouth slightly open. Draco had started to tap his foot by the time the older wizard had snapped out of his surprise.

"This doesn't concern him!" Narcissa spat. "I do not even understand why he is here-"

"Well for one," Severus interrupted. "These are my quarters and secondly, your son asked me to be present. Merlin knows why."

"You agree that I should have a say in who I marry, right?" Draco said, looking at him with almost a pleading expression.

"Yes, I do believe that," Severus said. "But it is also your parent's decision if they think that person is good for you."

"Blaise is!" Draco insisted. "Father just- he- he I do not know what! He just does not like Blaise but- but…" Draco gave a sigh that almost sounded like a sob. "I just do not understand this. He is from a good family, has the right social standing and loves me. Why are you so against this?"

"Lucius," Severus said softly. "Put your pride aside for a moment-"

"My pride has nothing-"

"-And see how much your son wants this."

Narcissa gave a small sigh. "I agree. I see nothing wrong with Blaise as a candidate per se."

"Do you all seem to recall who the mother is of that boy?" Lucius snapped. "I will not have that Black Widow anywhere near Draco!"

"I'm not marrying _her_, father," Draco said.

"You might as well be!"

Severus stood up. "Alright, _enough_. It's nearly one in the morning; I have a class to teach tomorrow and I have yet to finish grading papers-"

"So sorry your godchild's potential marriage is interfering with your plans, Severus," Narcissa sneered.

"His potential marriage is doing no such thing," Severus said. "It is the three of you bickering like children." He turned towards Lucius. "Stop being so childish and stubborn. Zabini's mother is many things, but a fool is not one of them. She would have her own son, who I will remind you no doubt knows all her dirty little secrets and the proof needed to send her straight to Azkaban, swearing revenge if she ever so much as laid a hand on Draco. Then there is you; you raise bloody alarms and lawsuits if Draco catches a cold. She will be doing nothing."

He turned to Draco. "You have my vote of confidence that you know what you are doing but I do not know how much that will do for you." He then promptly sat down, his face lowered as he once again massaged his temples.

Draco was grinning suddenly like a loon while his father looked stuck between horrified, angry and thoughtful. The young wizard turned towards his father. "So…?"

Lucius pursed his lips angrily for a moment before he sighed. "Fine!" he snapped. "But I will be handling the affairs personally from the wedding date right down to the written contracts. He will not be getting one cent whether you are alive or dead from us, is that clear? All financials will be separate unless the two of you, as a wedded couple, decide to open a joint account in the future."

Draco nearly jumped out of his seat as he rushed towards his father and hugged him. "Yes! Yes to everything!"

Lucius shared a glance with his wife and then with a tired-looking Severus. He hugged his son and decided he didn't like this, didn't like the thought of giving away his only son in the foreseeable future, but he did like how happy Draco was. In the end, that was all that mattered.

* * *

"Lucius…I'm tired," Severus said, his words soft as he leaned over the table, his eyes burning and his mind not processing the words on the homework he was seconds away from giving up on.

"Then why did you head in here instead of your bedroom?"

"I still have these papers to grade," he said curtly. "I had thought when Narcissa left for your manor and Draco to his dormitories that you would leave also. Did I give any indication that I was in any mood to play host?"

"Marry me," Lucius said, coming to a stop in front of Severus.

"Excuse me?" Severus said, looking up. "My lack of sleep has obviously affected me more than I had previously thought; I have become delusional."

"Will you marry me," Lucius repeated once again.

Severus raised an eyebrow. "You are aware that you are already married? Does the name Narcissa née Black ring a bell?"

"Several," he said. "She has been my wife for nearly two decades. She has given me a child I am most proud of…I have loved her throughout all this but not like I love you. Nowhere near it."

Severus pursed his lips. "Lucius I will not change my mind simply-"

"I have a right!" Lucius interrupted, looking angry and perhaps even hurt. "It is my child also. I have a right to love it, to provide for it, to proclaim to the world my pride and joy."

"Fine," Severus said, after a moment. He stood up. "Perhaps I was a little too hasty when I severed ties between us and you. Fine, you can proclaim your love for my child all you wish."

"Our child," Lucius insisted. "And all that I want for _our _child, I want for you as well. You are my firefly after all; how can you think I will live on without you by my side?"

"The same you have done for many years!" Severus said. "I was nothing but your mistress at best and your whore at worst. Now that I have a child, you think that changes anything? I am not some obligation, so kindly-"

Lucius gripped him roughly by the arm, his patience gone as was evident by his expression and Severus was shocked into silence. Rarely was Lucius's anger directed towards him. "You think so little of me?" Lucius asked. "You think so little of yourself? You are the furthest thing from an obligation. So, can you give me any reason, besides those based off self-deprecating thoughts, on why you cannot marry me? Hm?"

Severus looked away, not bothering to jerk out of Lucius's tight grip. Lucius moved slightly until he caught Severus's gaze. "Is it that you no longer love me, my firefly? Are you no longer my beloved?"

"Such a stupid answer does not even deserve an acknowledgment, much less a response."

"I love you," Lucius admitted. "Perhaps I have not shown it enough, perhaps I have cared too much for social standings and for what my family wishes. But no more. I am known as a selfish man, and I desire you and I will have you. Now all that remains to be known is if _you_ will have me?"

"You're nothing more but a silver tongued snake!" Severus spat. "And by the Gods, do I sometimes loathe you!" he jerked away from the blonde's grip. "My life could have been simple if I had never met you! I would have a bit more respect from my peers, more respect for myself! I wouldn't be known as your damn _whore_ and I wouldn't have Narcissa, one of the few people I ever considered a true friend, hate the very sight of me. I wouldn't have a child who will grow up being mocked and sneered at just as I was! I would not have to deal with your selfishness, your possessiveness and your inability to LET ME GO!"

Lucius looked almost stricken, his gaze not moving from Severus's red face but it was as if he could not see the man, his attention on the Potions Master's words that kept circling around his head.

"But…" Severus whispered after the silence between them had become almost unbearable and he had calmed down enough that his pale complexion had returned. "Without you, I would have never survived Hogwarts with most of my sanity and self-esteem intact, I would not have had the courage to make the few friends I do have. If I had never met you, I would have gone through my life without any form of profound love and I-" he voice cracked. "And I wouldn't have Draco as a godchild nor would I have…" he wrapped his arms around his stomach. "I probably would never have had this child. I doubt anyone besides you would have ever found me appealing…" he shook his head. "And for this and for much more, I love you much more than I could ever resent you."

"Is this a yes to my proposal?" Lucius asked softly. "Please let it be. We deserve to be happy. We deserve to be together."

Severus sighed, turning his back to his lover. "What of Narcissa?"

"I will divorce her."

"She will not-"

"Let me handle her," Lucius said, walking to where Severus stood and wrapped his arms around him from behind.

"I-"

"You needn't feel guilty."

"I will anyway," Severus said. He turned in Lucius's arms. "I will marry you Lucius…if Narcissa gives us her blessing."

Lucius raised an eyebrow. "A simple divorce won't do?"

"No," Severus said. "I will not be the little snake that entered her marriage bed and choked her out of her rightful position. I don't want you coercing her into anything, Lucius Malfoy."

"Fine, my dear," Lucius said. "I can guarantee that she will willingly and gracefully abandon her title of wife to this man before you." He leaned forward and gave Severus a small kiss. "I had prepared myself for hours of persuasion from my part. Can I ask what made you change your mind from so quickly?"

Severus looked almost hesitant to speak but he did after a moment. "If you had kept badgering me last time we spoke, I probably would have given in. I can never say no to you in the end. However, you mentioned something that reminded me of when we were younger."

"What?"

"Whenever I wanted to end our relationship," Severus started off slowly, as if giving himself time to remember all the details. "You would always ask me why and if it was because I had stopped loving you. You used to say, 'nothing short of that or an _Avada Kedavra_ to my person will stop me from getting you back'." Severus seemed almost annoyed but Lucius knew him well. He could see the flicker of something light deep in his eyes. "Arrogant prick."

Lucius smirked. "I remember."

* * *

"That's the earliest you can do it?" he snapped, his hand twitching from the effort it took to _not_ torture the blundering idiot beneath him.

"It- I, that is to say…"

"You are useless!" he snapped and without any other hesitation, raised his wand. "_Crucio!"_

He watched the useless Death Eater writher on the floor, disgust and annoyance evident on his expression. He lifted the curse after half a minute, his attention quickly moving towards another of his Death Eaters. "Nott! You have better have a good reason or at least a better explanation than this twit!"

"Of course my Lord," Nott said. "Celino feels it is during February that Hogwarts' wards are at their weakest. Not by much but enough to make a distinction between that month and the rest of the year. We can plan our attack for then and by doing so, we not only gain more time to prepare and infiltrate, but also gain a breach in their security. Also, the Ministry of Magic had decided to use Hogwarts' ground for a festivity. Our attack on the Ministry a while back has shaken the Wizarding World. The Minister thinks having this _Valentine_ celebration at an institution of Hogwarts' caliber will help ease the public. "

"And your plans for getting in, Lucius?" Voldemort asked as he turned towards the Malfoy. "You'll have months to prepare for it instead of the few weeks I had originally wanted."

They all shifted uncomfortably, knowing they had disappointed their Master by not being able to bring the attack to a closer date.

"Two of my son's friends will be helping with this," Lucius said. "I've obtained the cabinet we were searching for. It should not take long to find its secrets."

Voldemort leaned back against his throne, his eyes closing in thought. "Fine," he said after a moment. "I will put my faith in you, my loyal followers." He opened his eyes. "In _all of you_. I will not hold another meeting for a while, so use the time given wisely." He stood up. "Please remember, however, what I said before; there are those who are off limits and things none of you can do. Do not disappoint me, my Death Eaters. We are too close, too close to afford any mistakes."

"Yes, my Lord," a chorus echoed in the building.

He nodded his head. "Dismissed."

Only when he was alone did he turn towards Nagini who had not moved since the meeting. _"Soon, Nagini, soon. I will have all that I want."

* * *

_

-hides- I know! I've been WAY passed an update.

Fortunately, I can say that this story is coming to a close real soon. Perhaps two more chapters, excluding any possible epilogue of course.

**Next Chapter**: Time has passed and Harry's pregnancy has hit the papers. Tom takes action and the Order has hidden Harry. A little help might do a world of good…but in the end, a moment of dark emotions will lead to possible heartbreak.

NOT BETAED!

P.S. Check out my profile to view some **plot bunnies/challenges.** Anyone ever thought about adopting?


	17. Crimson

**-Love and Forget: These Loving Memories-  
By: Concubine99**

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Harry Potter or its context.

**Warning(s):** Slash, Amnesia, **Sexual Context**, Angst, Mpreg, Language, Underage -Harry's sixteen-

**Main Paring: **Tom Riddle(Voldemort)/Harry Potter

**Side Pairings**: Sirius/Remus, Severus/Lucius, Draco/Blaise, Ron/Hermione,

**Summary: **Harry's memories are gone but he's gained an imaginary life with three friends who have their own drama and a lover- a Tom who's known by the world as the Dark Lord Voldemort.

**A/N**: _Please do read all the ending notes and the A/N's I put up. They may be long but a lot of the information is important!

* * *

_

**Chapter Fifteen  
**_Crimson  
Like the sky with a setting sun, like the shed blood of innocence

* * *

_

It happened, naturally, overnight. One day his glamours worked and then the next morning when he attempted to replace them, they dissolved seconds after he had charmed them around his torso. He tried five times and would have attempted for a sixth if he didn't know it was a pointless effort.

Dumbledore had told him more than once that glamours would only work for so long, that they stopped working on those pregnant around the sixth month mark.

He had debated simply staying upstairs, stalling the inevitable for another day but then Ron had entered the bathroom, his eyes zeroing in on the belly and his mouth falling nearly to the floor.

Harry hadn't allowed anyone except Pomfrey to see him without his glamours.

"Mate, you're…"

"Stop staring," Harry said calmly as he turned towards the sink and decided to brush his teeth.

"But mate, you're- you're-"

"Huge? Fat? Pregnant? Thank you, Ron, but you're rather late on that info."

Ron blinked. "Actually, you're not all that big; I expected you to look like a bleach whale or something…"

Harry shrugged. "Still got some months to go before he's all grown," he said before sticking his toothbrush in his mouth.

"Uh…you not gonna put your glamours on?" Ron asked almost a minute later.

"Can't," Harry said, spitting out the paste into the sink. "Already tried; besides, it's about time everyone finds out, yeah?"

"You really think that?"

"Yeah," Harry said before adding, "About as much as I think that one day, penguins will fly and flowers will talk." Ron opened his mouth but Harry quickly added, "Without magic."

"Oh," Ron said. "Then yeah, I'm sorry mate."

Harry sighed, "Don't worry about it. But if you see me go for my wand at some point, remind me that my magic is on the fritz."

"Sure thing," Ron said. Harry wanted to tell Ron he was a little too perky for such an early hour but he didn't want to sound grumpy and so he turned back to brushing his teeth, trying to bring all his attention to that action and refusing to think about what the _Daily Prophet_ would be saying by tomorrow morning.

He splashed cold water on his face, disrupting any further depressing thoughts. He turned towards Ron. "Ready to go?"

Ron looked almost lost in thought before he snapped out of it. "Sure, Harry," he said, patting him on the shoulder. "And don't you worry. Everything's going to be fine."

"Thanks Ron," Harry said, giving an amused grin, finding his words undeniably false but amusing.

They walked down towards breakfast, Harry's steps growing slower the closer they got to the Hall. Ron would stop and glance back towards him, waiting for Harry to reach him before continuing, his mouth running at an almost ridiculous speed.

He was nervous, Harry realized, a feeling of guilt entering him for a moment before he pushed it out of his mind. He shouldn't be feeling guilty; Ron wasn't the one who was about to face the music, about to show everyone his secret.

There were others in the corridors as they walked and nearly everyone seemed unable to remove their gaze from Harry's person the moment it landed on him. Ron would scowl at them, trying to scare them into looking elsewhere, but he wasn't succeeding.

"It's fine, Ron," Harry said. "Might as well get use to the stares now."

"Harry…"

Harry waved his hand in front of him, giving an exasperated smile. "I'm fine, really."

Ron didn't look all that convinced but Harry was already walking, his steps quicker than before. He wanted to get this over with. Once he sat down with the other Gyffindors, he could concentrate on eating. He could…pretend that everything was normal.

When he entered the Hall, it wasn't immediate. He nearly reached Gryffindor's table before silence descended upon the large room, the air filled with disbelief and a near palpable tension.

He looked up, his gaze shifting around and took in how nearly every eye was on him, or more specifically, his stomach.

He gave a small sigh, his arms wrapping around his midsection before he continued his way towards the empty space besides Hermione and sat down.

"Thanks, Hermione," Harry said. He gave her a small smile before shifting his gaze towards the table, trying to decide what he would eat.

"Harry…?" Hermione voice reached him. "You are aware that…well…"

"That my glamours are gone?" Harry said with a small chuckle. "Yeah, I've noticed. They won't work anymore; didn't see the point of trying to hide it at this point."

"Well, I think Dumbledore will want a word with you," Hermione said softly as she nodded towards where the professors sat.

Harry raised his gaze reluctantly towards the Head Table. Dumbledore was staring at him with a grave expression as were most of the professors although he noticed that Snape seemed more…worried than stoic.

"I'll worry about it later," Harry said. "I'm hungry as hell."

The room filled itself with noise; shouts, laughter, clashes of voices that Harry just knew were speaking of him. Except the Gryffindor's Table. The majority were still silent, their gaze shifting towards Harry every once and a while, some opening their mouths as if to ask something before closing it promptly and going back to their food.

Harry tried to ignore it all but at the same time, he couldn't help but wish he had waited at Gryffindor Tower. Wished he wasn't here at Hogwarts…wished…

Wished that Tom was here.

"So Harry," Seamus started and Harry fought the urge to roll his eyes. "You knocked up or has all your eating finally settled around your midsection?"

"I'm pregnant and one crude joke from you and I'll be flinging my plate at your head," Harry replied calmly before taking a bite of his eggs.

Seamus opened his mouth but Dean, who sat next to him, elbowed him. "Don't be a git, Seamus. It's not your business or anyone else's."

Harry gave a small grin. "Yeah, Seamus, don't be a git. You know nothing gets under my skin quicker than noisy gossip."

* * *

"You could have given us a heads up, Harry," Dumbledore said softly. "We did not expect for you to reveal your situation today."

"I didn't either," Harry said. "But I tried putting on those glamours you taught me and none of them worked. So it just seemed like the decision was made for me."

"I see," Dumbledore said softly. His gaze was on his hands for a long time before they rose and seemed to pin Harry to the seat. Harry glanced towards Sirius and nearly looked away. His godfather looked upset, but also worried.

Snape's gaze was towards the opposite wall, almost looking as if he was avoiding Harry's gaze. But that couldn't be right. The man was not the type. The two men stood on either side of Dumbledore's desk, seemingly waiting for Dumbledore to do all the talking.

"Harry," Dumbledore called, pulling his attention back towards the aged wizard. "I must ask you something and I hope you will speak to me truthfully."

"Sure."

"Are you still in contact with Voldemort?"

Harry blinked, surprise curling his stomach. His first reflex was to lie, to simply deny it until the three believed him, but that was not what came out.

"Yes," Harry said. "I see him as Tom, though, not Voldemort. But…" he gave a thin smile. "I doubt you would appreciate the difference."

"Harry!" Sirius said, looking completely stunned but also, and this was what truly ate at Harry, disappointed. "Harry, why the heck-"

"Because he loves him," Dumbledore interrupted. "Loves him enough to forgive him, to overlook certain characteristics and embrace only…the good."

Harry didn't respond to Dumbledore's words, his gaze on his hands that were curled on his lap. "I don't know what he plans to do. I don't ask and he doesn't tell me. We just…we just spend time together. That's all."

"How!" Sirius asked, the word coming out like a bark.

"We visit each other through our dreams. He doesn't contact me while I'm awake because it always gives me a bad headache."

"So you are not aware what he is planning to do?" Snape asked, for the first time speaking. "This month is important to him…but we do not know why."

"You're the spy…" Harry grumbled, shrugging. "You probably know more than I."

"Doubtful," Snape said, lips curling slightly into a sneer. "I am on thin ice with the Dark Lord. He has not really contacted any of the Death Eaters for months. He entrusted several with various tasks. All I know is that it is supposed to bear fruit in February."

"But we are in February."

"Then you realize the urgency of the matter," Snape said dryly. "I do not dare use my contacts. I am at a difficult position as it is. We must find out what he is planning through other means, through you, Potter."

"He'll get suspicious if I start asking him," Harry said. "And he's not stupid. He won't tell me anyway, even _if_ I manage to convince him I'm just curious."

"He supposedly loves you," Snape snipped.

"So?" Harry said. "I love him but I don't tell him anything about the Order or about Dumbledore or about Hogwarts. I'm freaking Switzerland!"

"Am I supposed to get that reference?" Sirius asked, looking exasperated.

"It means I'm preaching neutrality," Harry said.

"You can't preach neutrality, Harry!" Sirius snapped. "This is the man who murdered your parents! Who has tried to kill you I don't know how many times!"

Harry flinched as if expecting a physical blow but he stayed silent, watched as Sirius fumed and looking unable to stream any other words together.

"Harry," Dumbledore whispered. "He is planning to come here; here to Hogwarts."

"But the wards-"

"I do not know how he plans to enter with his army. But I know he plans to arrive. And if I had to venture a guess, I would say it would be February the 14th. Many Ministry officials will be visiting that day."

Harry rubbed at his forehead. "He knows how important Hogwarts is to me. I just- I just don't _know_ anything…"

"I know, my boy, I know," Dumbledore whispered, looking almost understanding. "You are at a terrible position, I can see that. You do not wish to betray us, have not betrayed us…but you cannot betray your heart either. I realize that now. I had been foolish to think your time with Tom could be erased."

Harry blinked and then blinked again, trying to stop the tears that were starting to collect near the edges of his eyes from falling. He wouldn't crack, not know. Not after all this time and not in front of them. They didn't deserve to see him in such a mess.

He gazed down at the floor, took an even breath before he glanced back up, his eyes widening as they landed on the wand pointed at him.

Sirius looked surprised, as did Snape but they made no move towards the Headmaster, their mouth open but the words seemingly stuck in their throats.

"But I fear I do not have any faith in Tom," Dumbledore whispered. "Not anymore. I cannot let him have you, my boy."

And that was the last thing he heard before everything went black.

* * *

Severus reached his rooms with the desire to drown himself in scotch, the only thing preventing him was the fluttering life within him. He was not one who often used liquor to erase his problems but that day, it seemed like a day for exceptions.

He had not expected to see Harry Potter's protruding stomach when he went down towards breakfast and the sight of the child carrying a child had shocked him into silence…and it had also saddened him.

Harry Potter would not have been in that predicament, would have been a normal child if he had simply acted earlier, had managed to save him before Voldemort had gotten his claws so deep into the boy.

But no, he had hesitated, he had been a coward. He was still a coward.

He had not expected Dumbledore to spell the boy unconscious but he had understood why the aged wizard thought it was necessary. The date of the Dark Lord's impending attack was around the corner and it was best if they hid the boy now, now that the Wizarding World would soon learn about Mr. Potter's state. Best to hide him and protect him.

He made himself tea and then sat down near the fire, the room chilled due to the temperature outside. He held the cup between his hands, letting it warm his fingers but then he felt that odd sensation of movement in his stomach.

He gave a small sigh as he placed the cup of tea down on the small table next to his chair and placed his hand on the bulge of his stomach that was usually hidden with glamours.

"Settle down, child," he mumbled. "Everything's just fine."

* * *

When the news hit the papers, it had at first been thought a joke.

And then it had been accepted with disbelief which quickly turned to righteous anger from the general population and simple, unhinged anger on the Ministry's part who wished to speak to "the child (Harry Potter) and the irresponsible father!"

Three days it went on like that, and three days, Harry was not seen.

Hermione and Ron had naturally gone to Dumbledore with their worries.

"He is fine, I assure you," Dumbledore told them. "I had simply thought it best if he was moved to a secure location until a bit of the excitement died down."

"Are you sure, Professor?" Ron had asked. "I mean, maybe Harry was-"

"I assure you, Mr. Weasley that Mr. Potter is fine. Missing the two of you, no doubt, but he is safe and sound."

Draco had eventually summoned up enough courage to ask his godfather and had received more or less the same answer.

The only difference was that he knew he wasn't being told everything.

"You have to help me find Harry," Draco said towards Theodore.

He had waited as long as he could, expecting Harry to perhaps simply walk back into their lives as if he had not been missing for nearly a week. "The Dark Lord had wanted Harry present but away from the battle-"

"Well, he will be, wherever he is," Theodore said, sighing. "He's still somewhere in the castle. I can…well, not sense him but…" he gave a small shrug, as if to say that Draco knew what he had meant.

Except Draco didn't know what he meant but decided against saying so. "I just need your help," he said. "Blaise won't be available until Monday," he said, rolling his eyes. "He was conveniently pulled out by his mother this morning."

"Hah," Theo said. "Lucky him." he looked almost thoughtful. "I wonder if I could slip a note to papa without dad finding out and…" he shook his head. "Nah. Father would find out and then I'd have to hear a whole lecture about-"

"Theo!" Draco snapped. "This involves you too!"

"Of course it does," Theo said. "Why do you think I was wondering if I could have my papa manipulate my father into allowing me to leave until the battle is over?"

"I meant about Harry."

"He's fine, Draco," Theo said, frowning slightly. "I can tell. He's fine."

"But-"

"Just trust me! In his condition, he shouldn't be out anyway when…it happens."

"The Dark Lord must have warned them about hurting him."

"Doesn't mean an overzealous little Death Eater won't forget his orders and find himself cutting poor Harry into ribbons."

Draco opened his mouth to speak but then shut it, his teeth clicking slightly. He tried again, "I have to make sure he's ok. Our task is to make sure he's ok."

Theo closed his eyes, looking as if he was asking for patience but then he opened them, the color of his irises not quite as pale as they tended to be. "Fine," he said. "But it's going to take us a bit to find him. This is a freaking large castle and Dumbledore no doubt hid him somewhere good."

* * *

He had the artist create a miniaturized copy of the first portrait done of Harry and him during their trip to France, small enough that it would fit into the locket he had given Harry for his birthday.

He kept the picture in the breast pocket of his robes, not over his heart, however, because that was too bloody cliché and almost nauseating to even perceive. The only reason he even kept the copy on him was because he intended to give it to Harry the moment he saw him.

Which would be soon.

Now if only he could get in contact with the boy. If he didn't know any better, he would have assumed Harry was ignoring him, but one night he met Harry and then the next night, Harry had been…unreachable.

It was almost like he was awake except…further away. It had troubled him deeply but there was not much he could do and besides, Harry was under the watchful eye of Dumbledore.

He hated the damn fool but even he was willing to admit that the man had his uses and currently, it was keeping Harry safe.

He massaged his temples, a headache starting to present itself but he wouldn't allow it to deter him. He needed to think this through one last time, one last time before tomorrow evening.

It would not be much work to find the Invisibility Cloak; Harry would give it up without too much pressuring. Obtaining the Elder Wand would be slightly more difficulty but this time, he would not allow himself to leave without defeating the old wizard, even if he had to cut through every fighting witch and wizard.

He just had to make sure that Harry was nowhere to be seen when he did so. And perhaps make sure to stun instead of kill when he could. He was still on thin ice with his little love, very thin, transparent ice, after all.

Harry may love him but he would not side with him if he turned the Wizarding World into a tyranny. He would flee, taking their child with him and disappear.

He could not allow that.

So he would behave…he would have restraint.

He could not speak for his Death Eaters however.

* * *

The Great Hall looked as if millions of pink balloons filled with glittered, hearts and lace exploded. To say the house-elves had gone overboard with the decorations would be considered a gross understatement.

Even the tables were decorated, the usual bare tables were now covered with a red tablecloth, the plates varying from white to a vibrant red.

No one who actually resided within Hogwarts on a daily basis liked the decorations and it spoke for the Ministry's overall taste that when the Minister first entered the Great Hall, his opinion was that the Ministry could use and would indeed have similar decorations by the end of the week.

Severus barely managed to hold back a sneer.

The more individuals from the Ministry and various newspapers arrived, their destination the more spacious Great Hall, the fewer students were present.

The festivity was, after all, not really meant for the students. It was mostly propaganda, a way for the Minister to convince the world that he had everything under control.

He didn't.

"But where is he?" Fudge stressed, his brows furrowing in annoyance. "I specifically said that Harry Potter was to be invited, Albus!"

"He hasn't been feeling well," Dumbledore said. "Poor lad had a terrible fever not just a few hours ago. He expressed his apologizes for not being here."

Fudge looked unconvinced. "This has something to do with that rumor? That- that nasty business about him being pregnant? Well Dumbledore?"

Dumbledore didn't answer, his eyes on someone over the Minister's shoulder. "Amelia! How are you, my dear?" he said, sidestepping Fudge and grasping Bones' hand. "I was afraid you would not be able to make it."

"Dumbledore, I asked you a question!" Fudge snapped, his glare directed towards Dumbledore.

"Oh, I am terribly sorry Cornelius," Dumbledore said softly as he gave an apologetic frown. "It seems I am just filled with excitement this evening. It is not every day so many important people are here to celebrate such a wonderful holiday. Truly, Valentine is perhaps my most favorite holiday. A day to celebrate love and friendship, truly wonderful."

Amelia gave a small smile. "Valentine, really Albus?"

"Oh, well I do also enjoy the Yule season and also Hollow's Eve…hmm, perhaps I am being too hasty. I do love nearly every holiday after all and-"

"Is the boy pregnant or not, Albus?" Fudge snapped, his voice cutting through the conversation around them. "Look me in the eye and stop this foolishness! Well?"

Dumbledore opened his mouth slightly, the look of amusement gone and replaced by a solemn look. "Minister. I…"

But a scream broke up, followed by various other screams and then shouts of spells, curses and hexes and just like that, everything fell into chaos.

* * *

His sole destination was his son (who he had warned to hide within the Slytherin dormitory) and Severus.

He had not told his lover about the attack. He could not, least Albus hear about it. Severus had been invited to very few meetings since the private one in which the Dark Lord learned of the Potter boy's condition. He had not been to any of the ones in which the Dark Lord spoke of the impending attacks. Lucius knew that if he had gone and informed his lover, his lover would have then turned around and informed Dumbledore. He could not allow that. For one thing, they would be the first the Dark Lord would suspect.

People were scattering out of the Great Hall, running down corridors, running outside and trying to perhaps reach outside the wards so as to apparate away.

He pushed his way through people, cursed those that were making their way towards him (there had been a lot of Aurors invited it seemed) and it was only when he caught a glimpse of Severus exchanging spells with a hooded figure did Lucius feel the tightness in his chest loosen just slightly.

He ran towards them, hitting the hooded figure with cutting curse, dimly aware that he had just attacked his own comrade and not quite caring as he grabbed Severus by the arm.

"What are you doing?" he yelled. "Get out of here!"

"I am no coward!" Severus snarled. "I will not allow my colleagues to die because you conveniently forgot to mention this attack!"

"I didn't forget," Lucius hissed. "I chose not to! Now let's go!"

"No!"

"Do not make me-"

But Lucius say the Auror targeting him and so he released Severus long enough to exchange spells, pushing Severus towards a wall as he dashed behind a suit of armor.

"Go, Severus!" he screamed over the noise of people screaming, running and fighting.

"I-"

"Do it for our child!" Lucius interrupted right before he dashed out of his hiding place, raising his wand and sending the first curse that came to him at the challenger.

It hit him on a shoulder and Lucius used the moment to run towards Severus and hide them both behind an extended wall. "Go to the Slytherin dorms, keep the younger children safe and from coming up here. Look after Draco…please!"

"Lucius…"

"Just do it!" Lucius insisted. "I want you alive to accept my marriage proposal."

"I told you-"

"And I've done it!" Lucius said. "She's accepted and I will gladly tell you how but you need to go, _now_!"

He was surprised. He had truly thought Narcissa would sooner bite off her own tongue before she gave her title away, especially so Lucius could marry _him_. It just didn't make sense. He had not been surprised when Lucius didn't touch the subject as the weeks turned into months after their agreement.

He had known Narcissa had simply refused him. Kept refusing him. But now, to hear that she…relented? He couldn't quite wrap his head around it.

But then he was jolted out of his surprise by Lucius giving him a rather subdue push down the hallway that would take him to the dungeons.

His surprise followed him all the way down to the Slytherin dormitories and it was only the sight of the majority of Slytherins going about as if headless chickens, some yelling and cursing, others reaching the point of physically fighting. A few, all first years, were even crying.

He had children to console, he mused almost sardonically. His disbelief could wait till later; this would require all of his…_attention_ after all.

"What is going on here!" he roared and that alone got their attention.

* * *

"Left."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes…"

Draco gave Theo a look that could almost be considered annoyed.

"Alright, I'm somewhat sure. Do you know how hard it is to find someone by their magic alone?"

"Very hard, I know," Draco said dryly. "You said you've been practicing!"

"My dad has _just_ perfected this. You think I'm going to be any decent at it with only a few months of practice?"

"Then why did you say you would help?"

"Because you were annoying the hell out of me!" Theo snapped. "You wouldn't leave me alone and then you sent me on a guilt-trip! Now shut up and let me concentrate."

Draco pursed his lips, looking more annoyed than before but he did as asked, his lips firmly pressed together.

"So…I think…right," Theo mumbled to himself. They walked down the hallway and stopped when the echo of yelling reached them before quickening their steps

"Damn," Draco said. "The fighting is reaching the dungeons."

"Hopefully they'll pass the entrance to Slytherin," Theo grumbled. "Come on, I don't want to get caught by either side."

They made a turn and then another, walked down a hallway neither had ever been in when Theo stopped abruptly before turning to face the stoned wall beside him.

"What?"

"He's right here," Theo said.

"It's a wall," Draco pointed out.

"Aren't you smart," Theo grumbled. "This is Hogwarts, Draco. Nothing is what it seems." He leaned forward and pressed his hand against the wall, looking for some sort of indent or other clues to show a secret passageway.

"It's a wall, Theo," Draco said five minutes later after they both searched the wall as thoroughly as they could. "Just a plain wall."

"But he's behind it!" Theo said, looking slightly frustrated. "I'm sure of it."

"Alright, alright. Maybe we need a password."

"Then we're in trouble," Theo said. "It could be anything."

"I know."

"It could take years-"

"I know!" Draco snapped. "Maybe…maybe this isn't the way in? Maybe the door is somewhere else?"

"But I feel him-"

"I understand that. Maybe he's in a room that's behind this wall but this wall is not the entrance," Draco said as he ran a hand through his hair. "Let's…let's go down this hallway and check it out, ok?"

"Fine," Theo said, biting his lip. He didn't know why, but he just knew that there wouldn't be any other way in. Draco had started to walk but he stayed there, trying to think of a solution when suddenly, it occurred to him.

"Dobby!" he called out and almost immediately, the small house-elf appeared. Draco had looked over his shoulder the moment Theo had called out the house-elf's name.

Theo didn't even give Dobby a chance to start talking. "Is there a second chamber behind this wall, elf?" Theo asked.

"Sir…?" Dobby asked, looking slightly unease as he bit his lip. "Dobby cannot speak of secret chambers, cannot. Dobby go now."

"Wait!" Theo said, "It deals with Harry! Harry Potter! You like Harry, right?" Theo asked, dimly remembering Dobby being mentioned by Harry as a rather enthusiastic, if not well-meaning, elf.

"Oh Harry Potter is Dobby's friend!" Dobby nearly gushed.

"I'm Harry's friend too," Theo said softly. "I'm worried about him and I'm pretty sure he's behind this wall. Can you please help us?"

Dobby tugged at his ears, looked almost as if he was debating with himself before he said, "Wait here," and then promptly disappeared.

Theo turned slightly to glance towards Draco who had yet to move from where he stopped some feet away. Theo didn't have to wait long before Dobby appeared once more, looking more worried than he had been when he left.

"Harry Potter is there! Harry Potter asleep. He will not wake, Dobby tried but Mr. Potter will not wake!"

"We can wake him," Theo assured the nearly hysterical house-elf. "But we have to get in."

By then, Draco was standing next to Theo and Dobby's eyes were on the blond, a look of pure panic now there. Theo was quick to try and appease him. "No, no, don't worry about Draco. He's a friend of Harry's too."

"Dobby…Dobby not sure that's true!"

"It is," Draco said, trying to keep his voice even. It was hard to keep his impatience down. Although he doubted anyone would go so deep into the dungeons at the moment, he could still hear the echoes of the fighting, the screams and sometimes even footsteps.

He wanted to get this over with as quickly as possible.

"We've been friends for a while," Draco said. "And we really do need to make sure he's alright. The castle is under attack-"

"Dobby knows!" Dobby interrupted, his large eyes growing even bigger. "Oh, other house-elves scared of the attack, Dobby is not!"

"That's good," Theo said, trying to bring them back on topic. "But really, Dobby. Can you help us with Harry? Please?"

Dobby tugged at his ear again, bit his lip and then, with some reluctance, nodded.

He touched them both and without any warning, they were inside a mall, dimly light room. There was barely any room for anything besides the bed, the small nightstand, and the single chair.

Harry rested under the covers of the bed, looking peaceful, his arms on his chest. They walked towards them (only took three steps) and then Theo leaned and tried to shake Harry awake. It didn't work.

"You think they gave him a potion?"

"While pregnant?" Theo pointed out. "No. It's most likely a sleeping spell."

"That would mean they would have to come here three times a day to give him nourishment potions," Draco said.

"Maybe they are."

"Who? I doubt any of the teachers have the time and even Madam Pomfrey woul-"

Theo pulled out his wand and with a wave said, "_Finite._"

They waited, nearly holding their breath for several seconds before Draco gave a frustrated sigh. "Well, what else could we-"

Harry nearly sprung upright, a gasp leaving him as if he had just surfaced from underwater, effectively startling the three around him. His attention stayed on his shaking hands for a long time, however, and it took him a bit to notice the two wizards and house-elf by his side.

"How…?" He sounded coarse, his voice cracking in mid-word.

"We were thinking you would tell us," Draco said. "Can you stand?"

Harry began to nod his head before stopping. "I'm…I'm not sure. I…" he made his way towards the edge of the bed before swinging his feet over the edge and rested them upon the floor. He pushed himself off the bed and would have promptly fallen to the ground if Draco had not caught him.

"Oh, Harry Potter is not well!" Dobby cried. "Dobby must find Headmaster!"

"No!" Harry shouted before the house-elf could leave. "No, I'm fine. I just…my legs are still asleep. That's all." He moved out of Draco's arms but kept a hand on the blond's shoulder as he straightened up, putting most of his weight on his legs.

"I'm fine, Dobby. Really," Harry said. "You should go now. I don't want to take up any more of your time."

"Oh, Mr. Potter is no bother! Dobby gladly helps Harry Potter! Always! Always!" Harry gave the small creature a smile and it was only when the house-elf left that Harry allowed himself to sit back down on the bed.

"My legs are so numb," he mumbled as he pressed his palms against his thighs. "What did Dumbledore do to me?" he asked softly, sounding almost betrayed.

"A sleeping spell, not quite sure which one though," Theo said.

Harry opened his mouth to speak but Draco cut him off. "Listen, we don't have time for this. The Dark Lord has attacked the school and-"

"He what?" Harry asked, looking up. "Wait, what day is it?"

"Valentine's," Draco responded. "The fighting has even reached the dungeons. We were to make sure you were alright and-"

"Well, I'm bloody well am not alright now!" Harry snapped. "Just wait until I get my hands on that asshole!"

"Perhaps it'd be best if you stayed here?" Draco said, looking around.

"You were the one desperate to find him!" Theo said, sounding exasperated.

"To make sure he was safe," Draco argued back. "I now see that he is. I think it'd be better if he stayed here. If he went outside, he might be caught in the crossfire and-"

"Hello, I'm standing right here!" Harry snapped, still trying to rub the feeling back into his legs. "I'm getting out of here the moment I can feel my toes again."

"Harry-"

"I'm leaving!" Harry snapped. "Unless the two of you are planning on tying me to the bed!"

"Harry!" Draco nearly whined. "Come on, don't be so damn stubborn. The Dark Lord-"

"Is in so much trouble," Harry spat. "So help him if he's killed anyone!"

"Harry, please! You can't expect to just waltz through all the fighting hassle-free. And with your condition, you're magic is in the fritz and-"

"Then I'll grab my Invisibility Cloak!" Harry said. "Either way, I'm going!"

* * *

It should speak about his skill that he had yet to kill anyone personally. Maimed many, left several unconscious but none had died by his hands…yet.

Dumbledore was pushing his patience, however.

He needed to defeat the old man to obtain his wand- the Elder Wand. But the man's skills were still sharp and his reflexes still rather impressive. It would be…difficult to simply stun him.

It would be so much easier if he just aimed to kill him. But no, his treasure would be quite furious with him if he killed the Headmaster.

So he continued to exchange spells and curses (none of them all that friendly), ignoring nearly everyone around him unless they were stupid enough to charge at him.

"Is this how you intend to keep Harry believing in you, Tom?" Dumbledore asked just as he sent a rather powerful hex his way.

"There is only one person allowed to call me that," he nearly growled. "And you are not him, you old fool!"

His anger took over him, erasing his earlier conviction to not kill him. He charged more furiously, allowed more of his magic to slip into his attacks.

Dumbledore seemed almost surprised but he raised his game as well and like many times before, they were evenly matched.

That was when Voldemort saw his opportunity. He maneuvered his attacks so as to force the Headmaster towards his left, kept at it until he was standing just where he wanted him to and then he threw a disarming spell directly at his head.

The headmaster jerked out of the way just in time, already sending his own spell. The Dark Lord easily deflected the attack, his anger fading while glee took hold as his previous attack hit the mirror high up on the wall. There was a chance that the spell would bounce to another direction, would hit someone else or would not be reflected at all.

But it seemed luck was on his side, for the spell did indeed rebound before it rushed forward and hit the aged wizard on his side.

The Headmaster let out a gasp of surprise as he was slammed forward, his wand flying towards the Dark Lord. A laugh broke out of him, high-pitched and cold but with a touch of pure delight.

He looked down at the fallen wizard, his lips tugged into a vicious smirk. "Oh, how the mighty have fallen. What will you do now, Dumbledore, without your mighty wand?"

Voldemort looked around him, took in the tumbled tables of the four Houses, the broken silverware, the laying figures, and those still fighting. He found it amusing that none had yet to notice Dumbledore had fallen.

He pointed the Elder Wand towards the man he most likely hated the most, if one excluded his father, while pocketing his old wand. He was so tempted, so very tempted to end the man's miserable life. Dumbledore laid on the floor, trying to push himself upright, his gaze on Voldemort unwavering.

That gaze just made him angrier. The curse was at the tip of his tongue, his grip on the wand tight, when he felt something hit his side.

It was as if someone had run into him and he let out a small gasp, his focus on the unoccupied air around him. But then it shimmered and suddenly, he was looking at Harry.

A very angry Harry.

"How dare you!" Harry nearly screamed.

And all Tom could see was how beautiful he looked. There was something rugged about Harry's appearance, looking as if he had been outside for days but what truly struck Tom was Harry's condition. Not even his robes could hide the belly and a swell of pride overtook him.

It did not last long as Harry attempted to claw his eyes out. "How fucking dare you attack here! This is my home! My home you- you-"

He grabbed Harry by the wrist, pulling him closer even though Harry fought him off. "Darling," he mumbled softly. "It's not as if I've killed anyone."

Harry kicked him in the shin as a reply to his comment and he let the boy go, a grunt leaving him that was due more to surprise than pain.

"You're fuckin' unbelievable, you know-" but then Harry let out a small gasp that quickly turned into a scream and he was falling, falling and there was blood, blood almost gushing out of him from several gashes that suddenly appeared all over his body, his face.

Tom caught him before he fell, his chest suddenly painfully tight. He heard the cackle, sharp and so near him that he instantly turned towards the source.

He caught sight of Bella, her wand still out, still pointing to where Harry had just been standing and he let out a small scream, his fury almost something he could taste on his tongue. He barely saw himself move, barely registered the _Avada Kedavra_ leaving his lips but he did register Bellatrix's scream and the green light hitting her, and she was dead before she hit the ground, but his attention was already on Harry by then.

"Harry," he said softly, touching his cheek. Blood was tainting the both of them, painting Harry's flesh in a way that made Tom sick to his stomach. "Angel, look at me, look at me," he continued to nearly coo.

He forgot about the fighting around him, he forgot about everything except Harry.

Harry opened his eyes, eyes that were starting to dim and reflected the pain he was in. "Harry, can you hear me? I'm going to make you all better, alright? I'm going to fix you…"

"Tom…" Harry whispered, the taste of blood on his tongue and his lips. "I'm still mad at you."

"I know, treasure, I know," Tom continued to say as he shifted Harry slightly in his arms but Harry let out a cry of pain and he stopped, suddenly too afraid to move, to even breathe.

"Tom…" Harry called out, his eyes starting to close. Tom tapped him on the cheek and that seemed to wake him up, if only for a moment. "I lov' ya…" Harry mumbled, the words sounding as if it took great effort to get them out. "Though you're a bas'ard."

"I love you too, darling. You're my world, don't you know that?"

Harry gave a thin smile, but his coloring didn't look good and he was fading, Tom could just tell. "I know…" Harry whispered and then he closed his eyes.

"Harry!" Tom called out. "Harry! No! No! Harry!"

He moved his fingers towards Harry's neck, pressed down to find a pulse. He found it after a moment, weak and barely there. He knew he had to work fast and that was when he caught sight of the Cloak.

He grabbed it, healed up all of the wounds he could see (although this would not replenish the blood Harry had already lost) and then wrapped the boy around the cloak, making sure to cover him completely.

"Tom…" someone said and he looked towards the side. Dumbledore was on his knees, his gaze on where Harry should. "Tom, what-"

"He will not leave me!" Tom screamed. "_They_ will not leave me!" he lifted the boy up, still taking care that he was completely covered before he dashed out of the Great Hall as quickly as he could while carrying Harry.

Surprisingly, he had no trouble as he headed outside, his legs taking large strides and it was only when he was nearly at the front doors that he knew he was being followed. A spell flew past him, missing him by an inch.

He didn't stop. He heard someone yell "Fool! You might hit Harry too!" and then heavy footsteps after him.

He hid in a crevice outside the castle near its wall and stayed there as a group of wizards ran past, some separating and heading in opposite directions. He didn't wait long before he was running once more, this time towards the Forbidden Forest.

He didn't hear anyone after him and for that he was glad. He was deep inside the forest when he finally stopped walking, his breath slightly labored. He looked around him and when he saw nothing that posed a threat, he kneeled down and placed Harry on the ground gently, the Invisibility Cloak still covering every inch of him.

He placed his hand on where he knew Harry's chest to be and waited. He waited until he felt the very shallow rise and fall of Harry's breathing and only then did he let out a sigh of relief.

"I'll fix this," he whispered, his hand falling on the top of Harry's head. "I'll fix this and you'll be good as new. You and the baby."

He took out the ring before placing both it and the Elder Wand on the floor near the Invisibility Cloak. There was a decent part of the Cloak that wasn't needed to cover Harry and he would use that, if it turned out to be necessary.

But for now, he would do the only thing he could think to do.

He would call upon Death…and force his hand.

* * *

**Next Chapter**: Voldemort "summons" Death, now his Master and requests Harry and their child to live. Death is not easily manipulated however and it might take a sacrifice on Voldemort's part to be able to reunite with his family.


	18. Silver

**-Love and Forget: These Loving Memories-  
By: Concubine99**

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Harry Potter or its context.

**Warning(s):** Slash, Amnesia, **Sexual Context**, Angst, Mpreg, Language, Underage -Harry's sixteen-

**Main Paring: **Tom Riddle(Voldemort)/Harry Potter

**Side Pairings**: Sirius/Remus, Severus/Lucius, Draco/Blaise, Ron/Hermione,

**Summary: **Harry's memories are gone but he's gained an imaginary life with three friends who have their own drama and a lover- a Tom who's known by the world as the Dark Lord Voldemort.

**A/N**: _Please do read all the ending notes and the A/N's I put up. They may be long but a lot of the information is important!

* * *

_

**Chapter Sixteen  
**_Silver  
Like the second time waking up, like coming back home  


* * *

_

The first clue that the summoning had work was the smell. It was rather dense, similar to overripe fruit, sweet but overwhelming. He took a small breath, the clearing already obtaining a rather ominous fog.

He gave Harry's head a small pat under the Invisibility Cloak. "It's going to be fine…just fine. But you have to be absolutely quiet," he whispered. Harry couldn't hear him, he knew that, but it made him feel better speaking to him, pretending the smaller wizard was just sleeping.

The Invisibility Cloak would prevent Death from finding Harry and so the wizard was technically still alive, but what kind of living was he truly doing? Not one Tom could accept.

Shadows moved, the fog taking shape and then suddenly, a figure, tall…so very tall… stood, towering, a few feet away, his robes moving and the hems nearly touching where Harry lay.

Tom could not see his face clearly, except for holes that held neither real warmth nor any real cold that were meant to be eyes and a mouth that seemed to curl into a smile that somehow showed many teeth.

"The owner of all three of my gifts," the figure said, giving an almost sweeping bow that was truly a rather mocking act. "What a pleasure…"

"Death," Tom said, allowing none of his emotion to leak into his words. "I request something of you."

"But of course," Death said smoothly, almost like a purr. "It is after all, within your right as owner of my gifts, to ask anything of me. Perhaps another gift?"

"No," Tom said, sneering. "As owner of your gifts, I am your Master, no?"

A noise left Death, rather like chains being dragged on floors and it took Tom a minute to realize the figure was laughing. "Pardon me, but no. Such an odd thing, this rumor. I would never have made instruments that would eventually lead to my total slavery. They were gifts on my part, not shackles for my wrists."

Tom felt something tighten in his chest, perhaps a soul-shattering level of despair or perhaps anger. He couldn't tell and at the moment, didn't care. "Fine then," he snapped. "I suppose I will keep the three instruments-"

"Now, now," Death said softly, "I will admit that I tire of them. Perhaps a trade?"

"Oh?"

"Hm," Death said, "Surely there is…something that you wish? After all, you have done so much to elude me. Do you wish immortality? Youth and power until the day you die?"

"You would give me immortality?" Tom asked, giving Death a look of complete disbelief. "You, who does not allow any man escape, would do such a thing?"

"Do be rid of my gifts…yes," Death said, sounding almost amused. "I truly do tire of them. There were not meant to exist for so long. They have been…troublesome."

"Ah," Tom said, curling his hand around the Elder Wand and discreetly patting his pocket where the ring was located. "I do wish for immortality…but I wish for it for another…two others actually."

"Your mate and child," Death said simply. He wasn't moving, not truly, but his robes did, as if there was a wind mastering them, curling and brushing them around. "I felt it, their life leaving…so quick, so…inevitable…but then they disappeared from my sight. I cannot take them if I cannot find them."

"I know," Tom said. "Even if they were in front of you, even if you knew where they were…you could not take the gift from them. You can never take the gifts away."

"Very clever," Death said, sounding as if he were snickering. "I will give you and your…family immortality."

Tom opened his mouth to accept it, to take the offered deal, but something held him back. It had been too easy, he realized. Too easy…

After all, hadn't the original owners of the gifts thought Death to be sincere, had they not been arrogant? Only one brother had managed to evade Death…

"By immortality…" Tom said slowly and he could have sworn he saw the figure stiffen, "What do you mean exactly?"

"That you will not die of old age," Death said.

"But of wounds? And what of diseases? Would we be free of them?"

Death was silent for a long time, his smile shriveling until it was as if he had lost his mouth. "Only of old age…" Death said after a long pause, seemingly almost annoyed.

"So, once Harry is revealed, he would die of his wounds?" Tom spat. "No deal. I want him to live."

Death didn't say anything and Tom took the silence as a moment to think. "I want true immortality…with disease, old age or wound not having the ability to kill us."

"No," Death said promptly. "All things must have at least one possibility of an end. Even I- even the Gods. However slim, however obscure or improbable."

"That is what immortality is!"

"No," Death refused easily, as if Tom was a child who was ignorant and Death had no problem in correcting him. "Immortality is an obscure motion created out of fear of me. It means the lack of interaction between me and another. But as I said, there must be at least one possibility of an end. One-" Death was quick to add, sounding almost amused, "which is not your choice to pick."

Tom could feel his feelings slipping from his hold, could feel his cool head leave him. His hand holding his wand was twitching, almost as if it alone wanted to curse the figure to oblivion.

Could he ask for such immortality? What type of weakness would Death pick for him? Illness…wound? Or perhaps something trivial? Perhaps he would no longer be able to eat, perhaps sunlight would burn them?

Was he willing to put his faith in Death? No…certainly not. Not when it was Harry and their child being affected as well.

"Fine," Tom said, "I want you to spare Harry and our son from these wound. From this…accident. As if they were not hurt and extend our lives to hundreds of years. In exchange, I will give you the ring and the wand."

"I will do as you request for _all_ my gifts," Death was quick to say. Tom caught sight of something shifting at his side and it took him a moment to realize it was Death's shriveled hand.

Tom gave a scoff. "For so little? Something that a healer and a stone could do?"

"Your mate and child are so close to my chest," Death said softly, almost soothingly, "That I can almost hear their heartbeats. They will not survive long enough to be healed."

Tom gave a small snarl, leaping towards his feet. "They are not!" Tom nearly shouted, his voice sounding like a clap of thunder in the clearing. "They will survive! You will look pass them and spare them!"

"So insolent," Death breathed, but he did not seem annoyed. "To think you can speak to me in such a manner; the Lord to who everyone eventually bows to. Do not waste my time." It was almost as if he was receding, disappearing and yet, not moving away.

Tom felt his heart constrict, felt fear jolt through him. "Wait!" he called out and the reaction was instant. It was as if Death had not been disappearing in front of him. He was solid once more, looking more amused than ever before.

"Yes?"

His mouth tasted bitter as the words left his lips. "Fine then, for Harry and my child…have them live through this. Have them live through this…as if they were not injured. Have them live fully…completely…happily. All this for…two of the gifts, the stone and the wand."

"Happily…" Death said as if tasting the word. "I…cannot speak for happiness…mortals make their own decisions after all. However…they will be as if the incident hadn't happen…in exchange for all three gifts."

"No," Tom said, "You have denied and swindled out of all our previous deals. This is basically a theft! The two gifts for two lives spared; I think it is a great thing considering what I had originally wanted."

Death was quiet for a long time, almost thoughtful.

Tom nearly held his breath.

If Death asked for the Invisibility Cloak also, Tom would have to give him the cloak and Death would be able to see Harry and their child. Tom could not risk some sort of trickery, some sort of guile from Death. He could not afford to show his family until Death saved them. Not a moment later, not even when protected by an oath between the two.

"Accepted," Death finally said, slowly but with a finality that spoke of his age. "However…in exchange…a promise from you."

"What?"

"That you will no longer pursue any form of immortality," Death said, "You will accept your mortality, _wizard_."

Tom's mouth opened in surprise yet no words came out. Could he truly give up his dream? His inspiration? He had worked so many years for this…so many…

He shifted in place and it was then that his foot touched Harry's body. He looked down and even though he could not see Harry, he knew he was there.

Just like that…the decision was made.

"Fine," he said softly. "A promise and the two gifts are yours," he whispered. "So long as Harry and our child are mine."

* * *

They couldn't find him.

Dumbledore didn't know what he felt in that moment- shock, fear…sorrow…anger? Something was tightening in his chest, something was making it so very hard to think of anything else but Harry and the fact that Voldemort had just taken him under their noses.

The battle- if it could be called that- seemed to die very quickly when it became clear that the Dark Lord had skipped out on the fight.

Many Death Eaters had seen him sprint out of the school and out to the grounds. Some even noticed him enter the Forbidden Forest. They all fled before any of the light wizards could grab onto them.

It wasn't to say that all of the enemies had fled Hogwarts. Some were unconscious, a few dead…some still fighting in remote corners and in the dungeons, not yet aware that the battle was all but finished.

Lucius was the only one to think to hide away at the Slytherin dormitories.

The moment he had seen the Dark Lord sprint out of the school, he knew he had to act quickly. He could not stay here while his comrades were arrested and he couldn't very well flee. People knew he was here after all, people had seen him.

All he had to do, however, was come up with a reason for his presence. It was a good thing his son and fiancé were there to give him a reasonable alibi. It was also a good thing that he had been mostly too busy dealing with Severus and then worrying about him to truly engage in battle with many Aurors or Order members.

He encountered a few people, none whom tried to stop him except for one who Lucius promptly disposed of. He reached the dormitories not long after and was quite surprised to find Severus outside the entrance.

"What are you doing outside?" Lucius snapped. "When I said-"

"Oh, shut up," Severus said easily, giving Lucius a withering glare that he reserved for annoying Gryffindors. "You're not my father, so stop acting like it. The brats were becoming annoying and I'd thought it best to take a breath outside before I throttled one of them."

"Charming," Lucius said. "I hope you have more patience for our child."

"Well of course," Severus said smoothly, "For one thing, he won't be nearly as annoying."

There was a sound similar to an explosion that cut off Lucius' remark. They glanced down the way Lucius had came with looks of thinned annoyance.

"Let's get inside," Lucius said as he moved his gaze back to Severus, "And if anyone asks, I was with you throughout most of the Ministry party."

"Of course," Severus said smoothly as if anything else would be ridiculous. "Now, maybe you can tell me how you managed to convince Narcissa. A fascinating story, no doubt."

Lucius gave a grim smile just as the entrance slid shut after them.

* * *

Nothing hurt when he first opened his eyes, although he felt his whole body _should_ hurt. It was like an impression- an echo of a past injury that had long ago healed but was so traumatizing that the body still remembered it.

The breath that left him felt like the first one in minutes though and he nearly coughed up a lung in surprise. He bolted upright, his hands landing on his stomach as he looked frantically down to his lap, memories flooding back without a real resistance.

Cool hands gripped his face gently but it was still a surprise, he nearly jumped out of his skin, but he turned his attention to the figure those hands belonged to and he felt his heart lighten.

"Tom," he whispered.

He could remember being angry at the man, yelling at him and having the desire to punch him. He remembered the pain of many cuts and stabs, remembered falling and Tom catching him. He remembered thinking _Tom is going to be so upset if I die…_

And he remembered Tom's voice- distant and soft, giving reassurances and instructions.

"Tom…what did you do?" Harry asked softly, his voice holding not an ounce of accusation but of wonder and slight panic. "Tom!"

"I asked for you to be spared," Tom said, "In exchange for two of the Hollows I had in my possession."

"Hollows…" Harry said softly, confused before it hit him like a train. "You mean the Deathly Hollows? Those- those gifts in that fairytale?"

"It was no fairytale," Tom said. He looked so exhausted, looked older than Harry had ever seen him. "Your Invisibility Cloak was the third one of the set; I was planning to use all three to summon Death and make us immortal."

"Tom," Harry hissed, clapping his hands over his ears. "I don't want to hear-"

"No," Tom interrupted, grasping Harry's wrists and pulling them down from where they covered his ears. "You need to know this."

Harry looked at him with open suspicion but was silent and Tom took that as a sign. "I wanted to have you and my child with me forever. But I am also a very ambitious man, Harry. I want to change the Wizarding World. I know what needs to be done and I feel I should be the one to do it. So I wanted the Wizarding World also and I have just realized that I cannot have both- I must choose. I cannot have my goal if I am to stay with you and I cannot have my family if I have my goal. I must sacrifice something."

"Ah…" Harry said, a despairing feeling entering him. He could not banish it, no matter how much he tried to reassure himself of Tom's love nor could he deny the fact that Tom's choice was one that could destroy him.

He did not let any of this show, however. He could not.

They had been naïve to think they could ignore the fact that they were technically on opposite sides. Harry could not play Switzerland when he was already involved in the war. Tom had to choose…and God- Harry wanted to believe he'd choose him.

"I pleaded with Death," Tom said, and he looked almost angry then, "I pleaded with him as if I had no dignity, for you. In the end, I even sacrificed my dreams of immortality for you."

"Tom-"

"Let me finish!" Tom snapped, sounding so angry and stubborn that it shocked Harry into complete silence. Tom stood up then, pulled away from Harry and started to pace.

"I have known who I am- what I _what_ since before I can even remember and it is only now that I find myself completely and utterly torn. You have done this to me and I…it is not even a choice anymore."

Harry's gaze was on the grass, his hand palming against the floor in a way he wished he could do to his mind and heart. His fingers caught something soft and with a start, he pulled at the thread and realized it was his cloak.

He grasped the cloak and pulled it near his lap, wishing he could wrap himself around the fabric and disappear so utterly and completely…he didn't want to be here to hear this from him…Not from Tom.

Tom was suddenly kneeling besides him, cupping Harry's face. Harry couldn't help but look up and what he saw made his breath catch itself in his throat. "I choose you," Tom said softly, "The pain I felt when I thought I was going to lose you…I can't describe it nor do I wish to go through that ever again. So I choose you…and I'm sorry I only just now did so."

Harry could feel the tears starting to collect, but they didn't fall, there was no real reason for them to do so, and before he knew it, he had his arms around Tom's neck, squeezing him, pulling him towards his chest. "Oh Tom," Harry mumbled, his voice thick with emotion.

"So am I forgiven?" Tom joked but there was a touch of something in his voice that spoke of true seriousness.

"Yes," Harry breathed, clinging a bit tighter, "I don't think I could ever stay mad at you for long." He pulled away slightly so he could look Tom in the eyes. "And I think it's time I choose too and I choose you."

* * *

Draco watched as his father and Severus entered the common room, Severus looking already annoyed at the mere sight of so many children in the fits of emotions.

"Didn't I tell the lot of you to settle down?" Severus barked, one of his hands fisting against his hip. "You two! Get down from those chairs! What have your parents been teaching you? That furniture is meant for your feet? Well, I assure you, they're not!"

Draco gave a small snort of amusement that Theo seemed willing to agree with although did not mimic as nearly the whole room watched the two first years scramble off the chairs as if on fire. Draco didn't give it further thought as he walked over towards his father, Theo a few steps behind him.

"Father," Draco said softly and would have said more if Theo hadn't stepped slightly forward. "Have you seen my father, Mr. Malfoy?"

"Last I saw of him, he was disappearing down a corridor once we both realized the Dark Lord was retreating. He seemed in quite a hurry to create an alibi for himself. Unlike me, his _identity_ was covered." _Meaning he was wearing his mask_, Draco concluded, _smart man. _

It was evident how much that eased Theodore's worry and Draco felt a spark of guilt over the fact that he hadn't realized Theo's predicament. Out of all his classmates, he should have been aware of Theodore's troubles and the fact that he had been almost too absorbed in his own worries made him feel like a rather mediocre friend at best.

Lucius' hand was on Severus's shoulder, "Perhaps we can move to another…less crowded area so we can speak in private?"

Severus hesitated for a moment before he was nodding his head. "Fine, follow me," he said softly before raising his voice and adding, "I better come back to this level of calm, am I understood?"He gave the room one last, solid glare, before he led Lucius to what was usually used as a studying room.

"We may speak here, I suppose," he said, his voice rather hollow as he closed the door behind them. "Mind explaining to me how you managed to convince Narcissa to a divorce?"

"I agreed to a very large…very _impressive_ settlement," Lucius said, "One that most men wouldn't even consider, much less offer.'

"Ah," Severus said, looking unconvinced. "Why do I feel like there is more?"

"Draco will forever remain my heir," Lucius continued, his fingers running over a table as if examining it for dust. He frowned down at his fingers in slight disgust.

"Of course."

"And…" Lucius glanced up towards Severus before promptly looking away, "If something where to happen to me, you…shall never inherit anything."

"Excuse me?" Severus asked, more confused and amazed than truly angry. "Perhaps you should explain the situation a bit more to me?"

Lucius looked almost worried but it was gone so quick Severus couldn't be certain. "Upon my death, Draco and any other children I may have shall inherit everything while you…do not. I can leave a vault for you only if it was established and funded before my death. Anything you receive while I am alive, it will be yours to keep even upon my death, but you cannot obtain anything _because_ of my death."

Severus was quiet for a long while and that seemed to worry Lucius even more. But then Severus gave a simple shrug, "That's more than agreeable. I expected something more vindictive really or an outright refusal. That is all, correct?"

"You do not…care?" Lucius asked.

"Why would I?" Severus asked with a simple roll of his eyes. "Do you think I am with you because of money? That all I wish is to marry you, only to poison you and inherit the fortune of the Malfoy's?"

"No," Lucius said, but he sounded so relieved that Severus knew Lucius had been worried of losing him because of Narcissa's demands. He didn't think it was a statement of what Lucius thought of him, but more of a statement of how much Lucius simply worried about losing him due to anything beyond or even within his control.

Severus gave a small sigh. "If your money was what I was after, I would have allowed you to spoil me like you seem so fond of doing so all these years we've known each other. Your money is of little consequence to me, Lucius. So long as I have my potions and you do not annoy me while I am in my laboratory, I think we'll be just fine."

Lucius looked about ready to smile. "Oh?" he asked softly as he walked towards Severus. "And what if I miss you and I wish to spend time with you and alas you are in your lab?"

"You'll just have to suffer until I am done," Severus said dryly. "I'm sure there will be moments were I must selflessly do the same."

"But what if you don't?" Lucius asked, "Because you must know by now that I will never deny you." He caressed a cheek in a loving manner. "I rather adore you, after all."

Severus was silent for a long time before he gave an exasperated sigh and a small roll of his eyes. "Perhaps I can entertain you during the times you miss me, then," he said. "Just don't make them too frequent."

Lucius's smirk was almost a grin but he didn't care. He was happy, after all, so very happy.

The battle, the Dark Lord, and the Ministry could all just wait.

Right now, all he wished to do was kiss his fiancé and celebrate the fact that at long last, after so many years, he would finally have his firefly by his side publicly, rightfully and permanently. And so he did; he leaned forward and kissed Severus and was rewarded with a kiss in return that held no traces of guilt, shame, or resignation.

* * *

They rested on top of the Cloak and underneath the stars, Tom's own hooded cloak used to fight away the chill of the February air.

Harry was on his side, snuggled against Tom, taking the warmth that the older wizard was providing, a smile on his face that refused to leave. Tom seemed lost in thought, his gaze on the stars, a curious expression in lace.

"You realize," Tom said softly after a while, "That the whole Order is no doubt out looking for you?"

"Yeah…" Harry said. "I'm pretty sure I heard someone calling my name a few minutes ago."

"They know I took you."

"I know that too."

"I have to return you," Tom said. "Although perhaps not by making a personal appearance. I doubt they'll hesitate to attack me and quite frankly, I'm in no mood."

"They won't ever have us together, will they?" Harry asked softly.

"Hmm…they'll have no choice," Tom said smoothly. "They have something against the Dark Lord Voldemort. I will just have to be someone else."

"Huh?" Harry asked, pulling away slightly so he could look Tom in the face.

But Tom just gave him a secret smile, "You'll see, treasure, you'll see."

They stayed in the clearing for another hour before they stood up and Tom walked Harry towards the edge of the forest.

They kissed, tenderly but with passion and then departed. Tom kept himself in the shadows as he watched Harry walk back towards Hogwarts, a figure noticing him when he was half-way to the school.

Tom stayed watching even when members of the Order surrounded Harry, hugging him, others clapping him over the shoulders. He stayed watching until Harry and the others figures left for indoors and even then, he stayed in the shadows.

He would not get to see Harry for a while. He needed to take in as much of him as he could, enough that it would keep him strong for the coming days.

* * *

There you have it. So what do you guys think? No, it's not over. Really, there's about one chapter left.


	19. Color

**-Love and Forget: These Loving Memories-  
By: Concubine99**

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Harry Potter or its context.

**Warning(s):** Slash, Amnesia, **Sexual Context**, Angst, Mpreg, Language, Underage -Harry's sixteen-

**Main Paring: **Tom Riddle(Voldemort)/Harry Potter

**Side Pairings**: Sirius/Remus, Severus/Lucius, Draco/Blaise, Ron/Hermione,

**Summary: **Harry's memories are gone but he's gained an imaginary life with three friends who have their own drama and a lover- a Tom who's known by the world as the Dark Lord Voldemort.

**A/N**: _Please do read all the ending notes and the A/N's I put up. They may be long but a lot of the information is important!_

* * *

**Epilogue  
**_Color  
What makes life beautiful, what helps express our feelings_

* * *

It hurt, it hurt so freaking much and Harry wished he had Tom there so he could curse him to oblivion or at the very least throw something at him.

But no, he hadn't heard a thing from the man since the night of the attack. That was months ago. _Months_ ago.

And now he lay in the Infirmary, Pomfrey talking about cutting him open, pulling out his child and all he wanted to do was say _wait, just wait! I can't- not without Tom! _

But then he caught sight of Dumbledore in the corner, looking worried and Harry could feel guilt entering him, consuming him.

He had told Dumbledore what Tom had done, and only Dumbledore. He wasn't sure why he had. Perhaps he wanted to prove that there was good in Tom, perhaps he wanted Dumbledore's consent…perhaps he had simply thought it was the right thing to do.

All he knew was that Dumbledore had barely seemed fazed by it. He had seemed relieved; there was no doubt about that. He had even seemed…happy with Tom's sacrifice, but he had not said anything.

He had ushered Harry along towards the Infirmary where others were being attended to so he could be checked.

The battle had been over by the time he had reached the school, and the majority of the Death Eaters that had been defeated had been moved out of Hogwarts by the time he left Dumbledore's office.

He had come across Draco on his way towards the Infirmary, his father and Severus with him along with Theodore.

Harry didn't know how to react when he had saw Lucius. He knew the man was against the Order, but he was also Draco's father and one of Tom's favorite followers. He had eventually decided to just pretend like he knew nothing. Wasn't that what he had been doing all along?

They had walked him to the infirmary where Draco wasted no time in announcing in Harry's ear the fact that his father was planning on marrying Severus, hopefully, he added, before the child was born.

Harry had wisely kept any surprise or comments to himself. Though it had been hard. God, sometimes he wondered how he had survived with the mouth he had.

A scream cut through his throat and thoughts, effectively bringing him back to reality. Back to the fact that Pomfrey still thought it was time to operate.

"We can't wait any longer," she said. "We truly can't. Those pains you're having? That's your body starting to reject the child."

Harry bit his lip, partly to hold back the scream that wanted to be free and partly because he still, deep down, wanted to wait. Wanted to wait on the off chance that Tom would walk through the door in time.

But he knew how foolish such a thought was and with a resigned sob, he gave a small nod.

Pomfrey's expression turned into one of immense relief as she gave a nod. "Alright, you'll feel a slight pressure, Harry, but I promise, it'll be over quickly."

Harry didn't nod this time, "Just do it, please."

* * *

Dumbledore met them in front of the doors of Hogwarts, his expression grim and his eyes a solid, cold blue. He was not fooled by the young face that stared back at him, nor was he fooled by the Ministry official beside the young man.

"This is Tomas Neil," the Ministry official said. "He's declared himself the father of Harry Potter's child."

"Oh?" Dumbledore said, giving a grim smile. "Are you sure of this, Tomas? Harry is aware of who the father is."

"As am I," Tomas said coldly. There was something about his green eyes that spoke of immense hate as he stared upon Dumbledore. "I wish to see Harry."

"I do not think that is wise-"

"I'm here to propose," Tomas interrupted, "Harry deserves the best. Deserves happiness, no?"

"And you think you of all people are the one who will give him this?" Dumbledore snapped, half tempted to give up on the charade and yet was well aware of the Ministry official who probably knew nothing. But could he truly allow this villain in? Allow him to pretend that he was anything else but a monster?

The memory of Harry telling him of Tom's sacrifice suddenly came to the front of his mind, as did the picture of Harry struggling to wait, ignoring Pomfrey's pleas, all because he wanted to wait for his lover.

Dumbledore let out a small sigh, and he realized then he could not protect Harry if he did not wish to be and perhaps…dear Merlin _hopefully_, he wouldn't need it.

"Fine," Dumbledore said. "He's in the infirmary."

"Is he alright?" Tomas asked, a look of panic crossing his features before it left just as quickly.

"Yes," Dumbledore said softly. "He just had a son."

It took a moment for the words to sink in before the figure was sprinting up towards Dumbledore and the aged wizard had just enough time to step aside before the young man rushed past him.

Dumbledore shared a look with the Ministry official. "You needn't have escorted him here. I had received the Ministry's orders to allow them to see one another."

"Oh, I am here on Mr. Neil's behalf. He wishes to marry Mr. Potter as soon as possible, it seems."

Dumbledore didn't know how he felt about that.

* * *

When he entered the infirmary, the first thing he heard was the mumbling- the _cooing_. He walked further in, not caring about the empty beds, or the thought of anyone else present, and then he reached the very end of the infirmary that seemed to have been secluded off.

He grasped the curtain, hesitated for a single moment before he pulled it back, revealing a sight that nearly made him fall to his knees.

It was Harry…with their son. A tiny little bundle that he barely caught a glimpse of before Harry's words distracted him.

"Who are you?" Harry asked, his gaze suspicious.

He grinned. "I'm hurt that you don't recognize me, treasure," he said softly as he walked towards the empty chair and pulled it closer to the bed before promptly sitting down. "Think real hard now…and remember, I only have less than an hour."

Harry's look of confusion did not leave. "What are you talking…" he started but stopped abruptly when the stranger's lips curled into a smirk all too familiar.

"Tom…?" Harry whispered. "Is that…you?"

"Yes," Tom said. "The one and only."

"I- how...I don't understand! You don't look anything like…"

"If anyone asks, I'm Tomas Neil, yes?" Tom said softly. "And I'm the father of your child."

"You are the father of my child."

"There you go, you'll only be telling one lie."

"_Tom_," Harry hissed. "What is this!"

"I said I picked you, didn't I?" Tom mumbled. "So I've done it right. I carved myself a new identity- one that wasn't being used anyway. One that could provide for you and for our son-"

"What did you _do_?" Harry said. "Tom-"

"Nothing," Tom said, "Do you honestly think I would be stupid enough to come here with a proposal for a new life through the killing of someone? Knowing your bleeding heart so well?" Tom said dryly.

Harry didn't fight the blush that no doubt colored his cheek.

"I've been gone for so long because I was looking for the right identity. Someone who has not been seen outside in a very long time, someone of old money but no living relative."

"And then what, you stole their identity? Don't you think they'll eventually find out?"

"Not if they're already dead."

"But you just-"

"Tomas Neil died a year ago," Tom said smoothly, "Suicide, in his own home. His body was never discovered."

"Then how do you know about it?"

"He was a follower," Tom said. "A year ago, I went over to his house to settle…business…and I found him. I arrived just in time to see him take his last breath. I left shortly afterward."

"Oh…" Harry said. The thought that Tom could be lying entered his mind but he shoved it aside. Tom should know better than lying to Harry by now. He knew that deep down Harry would forgive him for nearly anything so long as he confessed to the act. Lying, however, Harry hated that the most.

"And so you remembered and decided to take his identity?"

"It didn't come to me immediately," Tom said with a small frown. "But when it did, it took me a bit to clean up his manor to make it seem as if someone has lived there for the past year. Then I had to go to the Ministry…make a few appearances, disprove any rumor that "I" was dead."

"But come on, are you saying no one knows what Tomas Neil looks like?"

"He was a Metamorphmagus known for constantly changing his appearance to the point where he had different faces. Those that knew him identified him by this," Tom explained as he grabbed the necklace around his neck with a silver pendent of what looked like a wing. "A family heirloom."

"But you're not a Metamorphmagus, how will you-"

"This is how he truly looked like," Tom said. "I took a few of his hairs and made some Polyjuice Potion. I was thinking of settling down Neil's habit of constantly changing his appearance. Perhaps take on my true appearance as Neil's…favorite appearance."

"There are people who know your true appearance."

"No one that would say anything either because they fear me or respect you," Tom said smoothly. "How about we worry about such things when we get there?"

"Tom-"

"I want you to marry me," he interrupted. "I want us to be together. I'll take Neil's job within the Ministry…work to change the Wizarding World from that position. We'll live happily, I promise. All you have to do is agree."

"I…" Harry glanced down at the bundle in his arms that had fallen asleep at some point and looked so very peaceful. "Would you really do that…all of that…for me?"

"And more," Tom said, looking so serious. "Much more."

Harry looked up and stared into those unfamiliar eyes. "Could it really be that simple?"

"Yes," Tom said. "If you wish it."

"I wish it," Harry answered. "I truly do."

Tom gave a small smile, his hand reaching out and cupping Harry's face. "I love you, Harry."

"I love you too…" Harry whispered, unable to stop the smile that wanted to split his face. "Do you want to meet him?" Harry asked, raising his arms a bit so Tom could see the baby's face a little better.

"Of course," Tom said, sounding almost insulted yet he stayed in the chair for a few seconds before he stood and reached out for the small bundle. Harry let out a small sigh that sounded pained.

"Are you alright?"

"My torso's still sore," he confessed. "It was about an hour ago that she did the operation." He leaned further into the pillows behind him with a small sigh. "Sirius and Remus will be here tomorrow they said."

"We should get married before then," Tom said, his gaze on the baby in his arms. It was a tiny little thing, with a perfect nose and mouth, and little fingers. Tom felt something in him melt. This was his son…his son. His and Harry's son.

"-mean?" Harry's voice finally cut in and Tom reluctantly pulled his gaze from the sleeping baby to gaze upon Harry. "Huh?"

"I said, what do you mean? That we have to get married before then?"

"Well, I doubt your godfather is fond of me," Tom said dryly. "Hell, I'm all for him thinking I'm truly Tomas Neil. I'd rather not have to go through a long progress where I try to convince every person who cares for you to allow us to marry."

"But-"

"Just the paperwork," Tom said, "Afterward, if you want, we can have a huge, outrageous wedding with every person your big heart wishes to invite."

Harry gave a small sigh. "I don't want to go behind their backs like this…"

"Meh."

"Tom!"

"I didn't say anything," Tom said. He waited for a moment before adding, "I have a Ministry official here just in case you want to take the easy route, however."

"How romantic."

"Also very practical."

The baby shifted slightly in Tom's arms and Tom looked down, for a second thinking he was awake. He wasn't however.

"What are we going to name him?"

Harry had closed his eyes for a moment but they opened at Tom's question. "I was thinking…Jamie. I don't know..." he gave a small shrug.

"After your father?"

"Hm…" Harry gave a half shrug, looking slightly uncomfortable. "I just like Jamie Nicolas."

"Then Jamie it is," Tom said. "Jamie Nicolas…"

A comfortable silence fell upon them and for a long time, neither of them did anything to disturb it. Harry closed his eyes, deciding they needed a rest while Tom continued to gaze down upon his son as if the little creature had all the answers.

It was minutes before Harry opened his eyes once more.

"You know, I have so much to tell you," Harry said.

"Oh?"

"Yeah. Snape and Malfoy are getting married, you know that? Also, Blaise proposed to Draco and they're planning on marrying once they finish school."

"None of that surprises me."

"They seem happy," Harry said softly.

"I'm sure they are."

"You think we'll end up that happy?"

They shared a look that spoke for them; spoke of forgiveness, of love and of a future. A future that would undoubtedly be hard but also one with them together and, in the end…

"Yeah…I think we'll be happy," Tom said softly. "Just like everyone else, I think."

Harry seemed satisfied with the answer for he closed his eyes once more and allowed himself to sink back into the mattress and built up pillows. Tom watched him and he knew the moment the other wizard fell asleep.

The emotion in his chest was happiness, he knew it. it was rather foreign in its lightness but he grasped at it, not allowing it to leave him.

The Ministry official arrived a few minutes later with Dumbledore not a step behind. Tom barely spared them a glance. "Let him sleep…he's earned it." His gaze was back on his future spouse and he took in all that he could. Watched as his chest rose and fell, watched as his lips parted slightly in sleep.

He watched it all and didn't bother to think of what could go wrong or the people he would have to deal with. He would fight for his position by Harry's side. He would fight for his son and he would win.

He had surrendered to one cause, but he wouldn't for this one. This one was too large, too important.

He moved Jamie in his arms until he was holding him with one arm while his other hand grasped Harry's. "We'll be happy…I promise."

And it could be said that they were.

* * *

The end! I know, maybe not what you guys were looking for but –shrug- anyway, I'd like to thank all of you for sticking with this story and thanks for your support! I'm sorry it took so long to update and thanks for being so patient!

As a note, I **really** don't plan on making a sequel but if on the off chance (_**really really small chance**_) that I do, I'll drop a note here.


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